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@me1lark
#ME1LARK: this is a private, highly selective & mutually exclusive roleplay blog for peeta mellark ⸺ a canon character found within the hunger games franchise by suzanne collins. this blog is extremely low - activity & eighteen plus only. written by flo(rence), she / they, twenty four, established november 4th, 2023. pinned graphic by hisvictory.
⁽ ¹ ⁾ INFORMATION. ∣ ⁽ ² ⁾ PINTEREST. ∣ ⁽ ³ ⁾ SIDE BLOG.
sorry besties i'm moving peeta back to my multi @taroet
sorry besties i'm moving peeta back to my multi @taroet
sorry besties i'm moving peeta back to my multi @taroet
sorry besties i'm moving peeta back to my multi @taroet
oh... think about peeta hearing katniss sing for the first time... after being hijacked and while he's struggling to find his way back to his old self and to katniss... knowing that it's her singing that made him fall in love with her in the first place...
i need to talk about this particular conversation between haymitch and katniss set within the mockingjay after peeta's hijacking because it's been stuck in my head ever since i reread it.
“what are you trying to do? provoke him into an attack?” he asks me. “of course not. i just want him to leave me alone,” i say. “well, he can’t. not after what the capitol put him through,” says haymitch. “look, coin may have sent him there hoping he’d kill you, but peeta doesn’t know that. he doesn’t understand what’s happened to him. so you can’t blame him—” “i don’t!” i say. “you do! you’re punishing him over and over for things that are out of his control. now, i’m not saying you shouldn’t have a fully loaded weapon next to you round the clock. but i think it’s time you flipped this little scenario around in your head. if you’d been taken by the capitol, and hijacked, and then tried to kill peeta, is this the way he would be treating you?” demands haymitch. i fall silent. it isn’t. it isn’t how he would be treating me at all. he would be trying to get me back at any cost. not shutting me out, abandoning me, greeting me with hostility at every turn. “you and me, we made a deal to try and save him. remember?” haymitch says. when i don’t respond, he disconnects after a curt “try and remember.”
firstly, i want to start by saying that this is in no way an anti-katniss post, because i do not blame her for distancing herself from peeta in this way. she was traumatized herself and had zero healthy emotional regulation going on. katniss has never had the opportunity to sit with her emotions and process them, always needing to focus on surviving and moving forward. truly stopping and facing peeta's issues with him would have been almost debilitating for her. i cannot blame her for being stuck in survival mode. it doesn't make her a bad person. it doesn't mean she loves peeta any less.
but, i do wanna talk about how it's true that if the roles were reversed, peeta wouldn't act the same way. haymitch knows this. katniss knows this. hell, even hijacked peeta knows it. he doesn't make a comment to katniss about how she isn't a very nice person for nothing. for peeta, that kind of selfless kindness has always been natural. especially in regards to katniss. in the first games, he uses his interview to make katniss look desirable. in the arena, he joins the career pack to lead them away from her. he's willing to let her shoot him so she can go home to district twelve and her family. in the quarter quell, he makes a deal with haymitch to save her. he ask effie for a golden medallion with pictures of the people katniss loves to help him convince her she has to live.
not once, in any of those moments, did he think of himself. of his own survival. does that mean he has a death wish? no, i don't think so. i think peeta sees an inherent goodness in the world that most people miss. he sees a lot of beauty. he just also sees a lot of that goodness and beauty in katniss and he thinks that without her, the world would be a lot less worthwhile for quite a lot of people, least of all himself.
↪ 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓 : questioning minds. currently accepting, expect slow to post.
" do you want some company ? " — from @me1lark
THE BAKERY STEPS GROAN AS BARLEY SHIFTS TO MAKE ROOM FOR HIS BROTHER. they'd sat like this before, many times over in fact and in both rain and sleet. anything could be endured at times, 𝚒𝚏 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚎𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚙𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛. " why...? do i look sad? " the boy asks, moments before plastering on a grin thereafter, though it doesn't quite reach the right height.
things were different, after the games. it's not like they'd ever really been perfect, empty stomachs & hard labor reaching even their side of district twelve, but they'd gotten by. ( — they had each other ). now, most his days were spend on his own, only seeing his family a couple of times a week. he saw barley more than the others, he had to admit, but that was usually when he was running around with katniss's little sister at her home. that wasn't somewhere he went a lot himself. moments like these were hard to come by, but needed all the same. " no, just felt like spending some time together. if you're up for it? "
he sits down next to his brother, folds his real leg & his prosthetic under him, before leaning his arms on his knees. a subtle glance to the other reveals a lackluster grin, making him wish that he could do something to make a real one appear instead.
❛ ss that what everyone is saying now? ❜ for delly!
" well... " your head tilts, an almost obvious tone dripping from sympathetic lips. what else is there to talk about? what else is there to say? this has never happened: year after year you've sat & watched as friends, classmates, get pulverized within the first twenty four hours of every game. you couldn't imagine, wouldn't dare try, to picture how this feels for @me1lark. a status of fame associated with a violent loss of a sense of self-
-it almost makes you cry, but you bite it back. it's not his job to comfort you.
" it was a very public love confession. " there is now a tug of your lips, a slight smile at the innocence of it all. although you're not sure if he even wants to talk about it, you can't help it. you wanted to come say hello, maybe not a congratulations, but a simple check in ( you want to ask how many people have done the same thing, but if the answer is no then you feel an intense level of guilt, an even worse heartbreak ) & truly, would it even be normal now to ask him about normal day to day life? it isn't the same now & it never will be again. " people are saying you're the love birds of district twelve. "
delly’s answer wasn’t anything to be surprised about, if he were being entirely honest with himself. he had known, even before the train station of twelve was anywhere in sight, that his time in the arena & his coincident relationship with katniss, would be the main topic of conversation in the district for a long while to come. for the first leg of the trip back from the capitol, he just hadn't thought he would have to lie about it.
what happened in the games had been real to him, every single moment of it, every nightmarish minute, but also every whisp of warmth ( — of something more ) shared between him & the girl he'd come to admire since he was only a young boy. it had been foolish of him to think it had been anything more than an act on katniss's part. she'd kept him alive, though. kept them alive. without her, he would've bled to death at the river's edge. it was a frustrating thought process to get stuck on.
" yeah, i figured it was probably now or never. for the whole love confession thing. " he does his best to smile at delly, his hands stained with flour, an apron around his neck. it was nice to have her here, in this house, at the victor's village... that still felt so new, so unfamiliar. it was supposed to be his home. a home he earned by surviving. ( — by killing people, a crude voice in his head supplies ). without his family here, it mostly just felt empty. " i just never expected both of us to get out of there, i guess. " he doesn't feel like lying to someone he considers a friend, to keep up this act that he'd been roped into without his knowledge, but he knows that he has to. even here. even now.
" we got really lucky. "
can we talk about how peeta was simultanously dealing with being hijacked and losing his entire family?
↪ 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑮𝑶𝑶𝑫 𝑷𝑳𝑨𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝟒 . ( a collection of sentence starters originating from s4 of the good place . adjust phrasing as necessary . )
wow . just … wow , it’s perfect .
you know , let’s keep this moving .
reading lights ! i love reading lights . they are … great for reading .
it wasn’t even as bad as i thought .
who cares if he doesn’t remember me ?
wait , i need to say something .
you NEEDED to say that ?
i believe that we’re destined to succeed .
with this team , there’s no problem we can’t solve .
there’s no problem we can’t create .
i think you look great .
i know this can be a little overwhelming , but you’ll get used to it .
okay , forget about all of that stuff .
none of this is real .
clearly i was in some kind of horrible accident .
i’m just gonna wander around until i wake up or die .
[ name ] , look what my brain did !
it’s not real , & neither are you !
i feel like you’re trying to get under my skin .
i . will . destroy you .
we can’t wait any longer .
stupid ethical , reasonable argument .
are you still muttering ?
the human mind is truly incredible .
you don’t need to justify it . again , i do it all the time .
his eyes were really mean .
i was scared [ name ] was trying to slide into your DM’s .
i don’t like being scared , it’s scary !
where’s your shirt ??
when you get back here , you won’t be anything .
you will do nothing of the sort , mon ami .
that wasn’t my fault , i was texting .
that is so embarrassing for you .
are you listening to me ?
guys like this believe the world revolve around them .
maybe , as a bonus … he cries like a stupid little baby .
hey . .. hey , can i ask you something ?
you have no control over your own impulses .
give her some space .
sure . i’m pretty interesting .
look , i’ve had my share of disappointments .
okay , well . back to the drawing board .
we need to bust him open like a pinata .
it’s our only move , & we’re doing it tomorrow .
this chaos is clearly all about me .
this is the universe telling me we don’t belong here .
walk me through this , i’m not sure i follow .
figure it out - get back to me , okay ?
i’m gonna go punch a wall with my head .
it’s possible we need a new team leader .
think about what you’re saying , here .
go ahead , speak your mind .
i didn’t ask for this !
[ name ] can be in charge , since she’s so smart .
listen , all we need is a bouncy house , some ninja stars & a bunch of ambulances .
did you get it all out of your system ?
you don’t just get to quit this , [ name ] .
the things that are happening here are above my paygrade .
i’m not meant for this ! i’m not the freakin’ savior of the universe !
everything i do blows up in my face .
this conversation must remain confidential .
[ name ] , um . please just let me talk .
i asked you to give me some space .
being with you is fun but it’s not always easy .
why don’t we just take a break ?
you tricky devil ! very clever .
why did i come up with this idea ? this is gonna hurt real bad .
everyone has people that they’re cosmically bound to .
i thought it was prudent to let you know .
oh boy ! i’m getting a stomachache .
to be fair , i only think that cause it’s true & i’m right .
if none of this is real , then it really shouldn’t matter .
what ? none of this is real . it doesn’t matter .
i mean , what do you have to lose ?
it’s arguable that you made an even bigger sacrifice .
come on , bud , i know you’re down but you can’t leave me hanging .
must be nice , [ name ] .
i have a ton of experience making ex-boyfriend’s lives miserable .
judge me if you want , i get results .
i just feel like i need this .
you’re allowed to feel a little angry .
we have a lot of work to do .
anyone interested in a status report ?
you’ll have to trust me , this is a huge step in the right direction .
it’s been a tough couple weeks .
your time begins NOW .
sorry , i was just trying to figure out where to start .
let’s clear our brain … watch a movie ?
whoever you are , show yourself .
what do you want , creep ?
[ name ] i need to speak with you alone .
sit there quietly until we sort all this out .
[ name ] , you have to believe me .
i’m gonna make [ name ] think i don’t trust you .
i like the way you think , [ name ] .
if you’re a devil , how come you’re not wearing prada ?
what are you gonna use it for ?
if you ever wanna talk , just know i’m here for you , girl .
i just feel like i made the world a little bit worse .
starting over sounds exhausting .
we have to start over .
there’s literally nothing i can say that will make you realize i’m really me .
i wish i were saying this in difference circumstances , but … keep it sleazy .
sometimes the only thing a bully understands is a punch in the mouth .
sorry , i should’ve told you - i just decided to stay home .
so , what’s my first clue ?
oh no … oh , that’s not good .
this part of your plan seems risky .
this wasn’t part of the plan .
you made things difficult in a new way , but i can make it work .
i’m just not a new - experience kind of guy .
my comfort zone is the size of … that chair .
do you trust me , [ name ] ?
you had this the whole time ?
you told me i should wait , so i did .
i’m not scared of you . because i’ve gone there , [ name ] .
i can’t believe i almost missed all this .
hey , you decided to come after all !
you got through it . i almost ruined it a hundred times .
when i said ‘ throw a party ’ i didn’t mean a pity party !
i’ve had to scrape & claw my way through life .
you never learned to think on your feet !
i want to learn how to do something meaningful .
that must’ve been hard for you … to go back there .
i don’t like to think about who i used to be .
almost everything i do i do without thinking or worrying what will happen .
let’s dance , baby .
ugh ! can you just skip to the end ?
just tell me how they screwed up , & put me out of my misery .
this feels like some sort of goodbye .
how was that ? did i cheer everyone up ?
face it , [ name ] , you lost .
people improve when they get external love & support .
you’ve already given me so much .
earth is cancelled .
it’s not two of us , it’s all of us .
step one , get a plan … step two , do the plan .
if we’re gonna pull this off , we need [ name ] back .
you think that’ll go well ?
everything always has to be your way !
how dare you bring that up again ?
every problem has an answer .
not that old story , it’s so embarrassing -
we have to break up .
why are we together ?
where i’m from , most things blow up eventually .
by the way , i wasn’t cheating before … or eavesdropping just now .
this has been fun , as always .
there’s a real possibility that i’m in love with you .
if soulmates do exist , they’re found . not made .
turns out life isn’t a puzzle that can just be solved one time & it’s done .
can you give me a second ?
i don’t know if i’ll see you again , or … what i’ll remember if i do .
the words are nice , but the tone is scary ?
i know you . & i love you .
eventually we’re gonna be together forever .
it’s better we just rip the band-aid off .
forgive me if i’m a little skeptical .
i had a lot of time to think .
if things are going to change , i have to change along with them .
i’m an artist , which means … it’s my job to be scared .
oh no , i knew it . you hate me now .
you essentially had to raise yourself .
okay , so … you still love me ?
yeah , we’re very different , but we already knew that !
there’s no one else i wanna be with .
what do you want from me ?!
i know you’re upset , you have a tell .
i don’t see any version of eternity where you don’t get bored of me .
this is not working , you’re bad at this .
wow , same old [ name ] .
first of all , you know what … uh , shut up !
honestly , [ name ] , i don’t know what’s to become of you .
i’m sorry i said that , before .
she knows you & loves you , & that’s all that matters .
against all odds , i know what you mean .
i’m sorry that i kicked you out .
it wasn’t about you .
i’m not gonna let myself be degraded by you again .
i took you for granted , & that was wrong .
i can’t have any of your dingleberry stink on me .
so , uh . i was being stupid .
i thought i got rid of you .
my , my , my … we’ve got some history , don’t we ?
it’s real this time , i promise .
might as well do some traveling .
[ name ] , i have been training for this day my entire life .
what time is it ?
i made dinner !
real talk , it didn’t go great .
i could never forget you .
remembering moments with you is the same as living with them .
can you just remember the happy times & forget the bad stuff ?
you are my role model .
you have a rockin’ bod .
don’t sell yourself short , [ name ] .
[ name ] , i’m gonna miss you .
i don’t want to leave you , but i’m … ready to leave .
i was alone my whole life . i told myself i liked it that way , but i don’t .
i like being with you .
meet you at the restaurant ?
i owe it to you to let you go .
i was never good at being sad .
none of this is bad .
i need you to do me one last favor .
say goodbye to me now , & leave before i wake up .
your system’s working perfectly .
thank you so much , [ name ] .
care to join me for a bit ?
the true joy is in the mystery .
do you mind if i stay here until you’re gone ?
THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE 2013, dir. Francis Lawrence
peeta's father coming to sit with katniss after she volunteers and giving her cookies and promising he'll look after prim just shows you exactly where peeta's good nature comes from
MAGNOLIA CASTILLO SENTENCE STARTERS
❝ what does ‘happy’ feel like? ❞
❝ i think the real ‘monsters’ are the ones who create the monstrous things. ❞
❝ broken things aren’t always ruined. ❞
❝ healing isn’t always about putting yourself back together the way you were. it’s about making something new out of the pieces that are left. ❞
❝ they stole my voice. this is me taking it back. ❞
❝ dying isn’t so bad…it’s the leaving. going away when you haven’t really even gotten to do anything yet. ❞
❝ quiet. the ghosts are talking. ❞
❝ i think sometimes, some people are just meant to carry pain. ❞
❝ i’m not sure what love is supposed to feel like. i’ve never really had it before…but i know i feel good with you. warm. like home. ❞
❝ there are some things worse than death. would you like to see them? ❞
❝ you can get used to any pain. but loneliness, that’s what makes you break. ❞
❝ the only thing that saved me was me. ❞
❝ i didn’t survive…i just didn’t die. there’s a difference. ❞
❝ please stop lying i’m trying to think. ❞
❝ i’ve always been at home among the haunted things. ❞
❝ the world is too big. and i don’t know how to be in it anymore. ❞
❝ i’ve seen what ‘bad’ looks like. you’re one of the good ones, trust me. ❞
❝ i think i’m afraid to heal, because that means i can be broken again. ❞
❝ there is good in the world. i know there is. i just don’t think i get to have it in my life. ❞
❝ you have to hold on to the little joys when you find them. ❞
❝ everything in nature is about balance. i think the spiritual world is like that too. maybe, if my life is so filled with darkness and hurt, someone else out there is getting nothing but light and warmth. someone who deserves it. ❞
❝ i don’t want to hide anymore. ❞
❝ sometimes it’s easier to believe there’s something wrong with me. it’s easier than if i didn’t deserve all those things and people knew that and chose to hurt me anyway. that just seems worse somehow. ❞
❝ you have a very messy brain. ❞
❝ do you think the moon gets lonely? ❞
❝ when i was little i used to believe fairies made it rain. i think i just wanted the world to feel magical. ❞
❝ people always go away. even if they don’t mean to. no one stays. ❞
❝ anything can be a cage. ❞
❝ at least, no one can touch my soul. that’s mine. that will always be mine. ❞
❝ time doesn’t speak to me. ❞
❝ embrace your chaos…hug your demons. ❞
❝ there are things you can never forget once you know them. ❞
❝ don’t go poking around this stuff…it pokes back. ❞
❝ i just live in each second as it comes. that’s all i have. ❞
❝ the only thing we can really control is ourselves. but there’s a power in that. only you get to decide what kind of person all the hard things turn you into. ❞
❝ i feel like i don’t know much of anything anymore. ❞
❝ a body is just something you’re stuck inside. it’s not really you. just a place to stay for a little while. ❞
❝ i don’t know why people like to hurt me. they just do. ❞
❝ i killed him but, now there’s a mess. ❞
❝ i want to help. please? i just want to do something good. ❞
❝ i’m not very brave. or strong. i broke. they broke me…but i’m still here. ❞
❝ i got blood on my dress. i really like that dress. ❞
❝ there are so many secrets in my head i never asked for. ❞
❝ i’m in here. i’m inside this body. there’s still a person in here and it’s mine. it’s my body. i’m tired of so many people acting like it isn’t. ❞
❝ i don’t really sleep much anymore. but it’s okay, someone has to keep the moon company. ❞
❝ i’m so angry. it’s always there. but if i let it out i’m afraid i’ll never stop. ❞
❝ i didn’t think i’d still be alive by now. i’m not really sure what to do now that i am. ❞
❝ everyone’s a little bit broken. but it’s okay. broken things can be pretty too. that’s how mosaics are made. ❞
❝ i don’t want anyone to hurt the way i’ve hurt. no one deserves that kind of pain. ❞
❝ i’ll be gentle with your heart. ❞
❝ i like your soul. it’s beautiful. ❞
❝ you have a pretty brain. ❞
❝ the pain gets better. it won’t go away completely but. you get used to it. it will get easier to breathe, bit by bit until you don’t really notice it anymore. ❞
❝ let me make it better. please? ❞
❝ you’re hurting. i can tell. you don’t have to hide it. ❞
❝ you can’t hurt me in a way i haven’t already survived. ❞
❝ the thing about being broken, is it’s already done. you know you can get through anything after that. ❞
❝ people are kind of like art. everyone is going to see something different when they look at you. ❞
❝ i choose to help people because no one helped me. i want to be that person for others that i needed. ❞
❝ fucking dumbasshole. ❞
❝ i’m still trying to figure out what i want to be. ❞
🥖 🍞 🥐
oui oui baguette
