queer & full of fear

lvl 27 | she/her | multifandom artist

[meadowmonsterr]

welcome to the party!!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *

i draw comfort & occasional darkfic

my art (#meadow art)

tw: deaddove (disclaimer)

tags list

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:

asks open!

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[meadowmonsterr]

he protecc

[meadowmonsterr]

"I gotcha, starlight."

[meadowmonsterr]

oH SUDDENLY THIS IS NOT A SAFE PLACE

[meadowmonsterr]

hahahahaha this is fine

[meadowmonsterr]

he sees you when you're sleeping~

[meadowmonsterr]

P̶̅͂͟҉̷̠ȇ̡̫ͣ͢͝͠e̸͛̊̋̚͟͏̶̦k̸̨̨̗̽̕ạ̵̧̛ͭ̂͜b̶̺̀ͭ̾͜͠͡ô̢̢̯̕͞o̸̡̞ͦ̊̅́͢

[meadowmonsterr]

"I gotcha, starlight." kinda scrappy but i had feelings to get out 🥺💕

[rayix]

🐺 Loona 🌙

[fox-on-the-moon]

Actually making your selfinsert overpowered and friends with all your faves and a hybrid of the coolest species and in a relationship with your crush and the long lost sibling of the villain is called having fun and its cool as fuck

[wholesomey-artist]

[mocha-n-roses]

He made ✨decaf✨ because it's not morning anymore, but it's still coffee! :D

He sticks out like a sore thumb in my kitchen too in all his red :3

[rayjeff]

drawing moon while having an existential crisis and eating potato chips

silly drawing, just like me

[thatmooncake]

The way Sun and Moon have experienced so much hurt and so much horror but in a way they may never be able to fully address because they just may not quite have the full understanding or the drive to unpack all of what’s happened to them in any sort of context beyond just seeing it as another part of their lives as silly jesters performing at the whims of other people as a small fragment of a dying franchise. That denial and where that understanding escapes them makes it even more tricky for them to heal because they can’t even begin to come to terms with the way the virus and their repurposing has affected them both, but the horrors keep on coming and they’re slowly unraveling and they know - they’ve known from the start - that something is wrong, and yet they can’t quite figure out what for the longest time.

When the virus hits, they just carry on as normal because that’s all they’ve ever known. They notice the other one is acting differently and it alarms them but they aren’t listened to. Perhaps they don’t openly voice their concerns, or maybe no one is there to hear them. Perhaps they don’t even stumble upon the answer until a long time has passed, sitting in denial, just blocking out the changes and the concerns, and the other one whose existence has now thrown their lives into turmoil.

Sun carries on like everything’s fine and dandy - that is, until he can’t anymore. What a life. Always on. Always acting. He’s a good actor, sure, but when you’re meant to play one half of a day-night cycle I bet it wears at you when you now have to cover both shifts. The fact that he’s even trying to - he’s desperate not to be pulled back into the abyss so Moon can come out because he knows how broken Moon is right now. And I’m guessing that even if he did have a clue how to fix them (which, maybe he honestly didn’t, or simply wouldn’t come to terms with until he saw the faz-wrench in Cassie’s hand in Ruin), he couldn’t leave the daycare at most hours because he’d be at work, entertaining the kids, or not supposed to be out if the daycare was out of order. And then when the pizzaplex was closed, there were the blackouts all over, keeping him locked in where the generators were, where he’d have a chance to retreat into the light (and we can’t forget how useful Moon was to Afton and co as a retrieval bot, so he’d be out and about of course, they’d make sure of that, but not as himself).

The alternative would have been knowingly risking unleashing Moon upon more potentially innocent victims, and getting both of them in even more trouble when he should have been out. He should have been making sure things stayed working at least a little bit. And we see Sun fighting Moon with everything he has in the Ruin jumpscares just so they won’t do something they’ll regret. How long has he been fighting? How many times might he have tried and failed to stop Moon and woken up with blood on his hands?

How exhausting that must have been. Did he blame Moon at all? Any animosity between them could only have hurt more. And even if he didn’t give in to that frustration, the fact is, he was keeping Moon away that whole time, not letting him out to play. For his own good or not, that can’t have felt nice, and it certainly can’t have been easy.

And then Moon on the other hand expresses little clear awareness that something is wrong in Security Breach itself, at least none that’s addressed to Gregory or any of the others, simply going about his business, but it’s heavily implied he knows - and maybe he always knew - that there is something pulling from beneath the surface from the things he says in Ruin. “It won’t work!” He knows at that point at least that Sun (or perhaps Cassie) has a plan, of sorts. But he denies it. He doesn’t trust in that plan to fix them. He knows Sun is there, fighting to come out the moment the lights come on. He’s determined not to stay locked away anymore.

Imagine that frustration too. He wants Sun gone - he has to - because he’s in pain as long as the lights are on. And we can tell from Sun’s sad little song that he feels every bit of emptiness when he’s not active as well. And yet, being active feels like a desperate struggle on both sides as well. They’re in a constant battle with themselves, and there can be no victor.

Now imagine if Moon’s awareness - or his relative resignation at the state of the virus - had extended way back to the main game, when they first became afflicted by it. Knowing there was nothing he or Sun could do to stop it - because he (because they?) tried, and failed? Or just (optionally, if we’re considering the novels) because he was always the “villainous” appendix FazCorp couldn’t cut out of the otherwise comparatively “functional” working daycare attendant? Because then maybe Moon knew all along that there wasn’t a version of events where he was actually supposed to be here anymore.

(When he was infected by the virus, on the other hand? Moon had a purpose. Not a nice one, exactly, but a purpose nonetheless. Something Sun still had in the daycare that he wasn’t allowed. It’s not surprising that they ended up at odds with each other at all no matter how you look at it.)

[deceptiveshadow]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[opalescent-blood-deactivated202]

Distortion

[corrie-zodori]

Anyone: Hey (asks about a special interest of mine)? Me: Becomes an unskippable cutscene

[webbyghost]

[sunshine-tattoo]

[meadowmonsterr]

new frieND NEW FRIEND NEW FRIEND-