stan my bullshit

this is thirty she/her(s)

[alanaisalive]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[iguanamouth]

oh shit

[throughshadow-to-the-edgeofnight]

[alanaisalive]

As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.

[docd666]

Y'all know what to do Tumblr.

[sacred-portal]

[gotitforcheap-deactivated201611]

if you’re american and coming to australia, I’m gonna go ahead and say that you should be 100 percent way more worried about being king hit by a dude named “dane” in a bintang singlet than any fucking spiders that exist here

[marimopet]

what does this say in english

[merinnan]

“Good sir, if you are a resident of the United States of America and coming to visit the sunny land of Australia, allow me to inform you that you should be rather more concerned about being sucker punched by a gentleman named ‘Dane’ who is likely to be seen wearing a wifebeater with a beer company logo on it than by any of the dangerous spiders that exist on this lovely continent”.

[myangelofthelord]

ok so what does it say in american

[merinnan]

“You’re more likely to get sucker punched/cold-cocked by an asshole than you are to be bitten by a spider”.

[star-spangled-jackass]

thank you

[you-or-your-memory]

Well rattle my spoons, that don’t make a lick of sense. Wot in tarnation does this hootenanny say?

[flubz]

“If ya mosey on by Australia, you best be fixin’ to get to some fisticuffs more'n checkin fer spiders.”

[operationsc]

This is a Rosetta Stone for a single language

[what-even-is-thiss]

Wow the planking meme is a decade old now isn’t it

[what-even-is-thiss]

I salute you, brave warriors of ages past. Also known as when I was in 8th grade.

[what-even-is-thiss]

[minecraftedmarvel]

You're not allowed to make me feel old stoooppp

[what-even-is-thiss]

[wombatlovesyou-moving]

Shush ur face this meme can't be a decade old it only happened yesterday

[what-even-is-thiss]

2011 was a decade ago whether you like it or not

[politijohn]

Mr. Thune is 60 yrs old. If he worked as a cook at age 17 making $6/hr, he’d be making $24.07/hr in today’s dollars. Mr. Thune is a buffoon.

[moringmark]

[runcibility]

I liked this post, scrolled for like another minute before I went “SHIT FUCK SHIT” and scrolled back to reblog it

[incaseyouart]

Reblogs are FAANtastic

[funnytwittertweets]

[worldcircus]

Snowstorm followed by a sand storm in Tabuk, Saudi Arabia. (SOURCE)

[reallytallkid]

Ice cream

[pissvortex]

[tiktokstowatch]

[autoneurotic]

do u ever remember all the horrible offensve things u said when u were like 15 and u literally feel ur soul detach and turn 2 dust 

[icbiwf]

your fave is problematic: yourself

[disease-danger-darkness-silence]

Basically, yeah. That’s kind of the point – you always have to look back on yourself and be mortified and resolve to be better. Shit, the stuff I said just five YEARS ago (and I’m almost 33) makes me cringe like a motherfucker. Burn in mortification. Rise from the ashes and be better. Lather, rinse, repeat for the rest of your life.

[kieren-fucking-walker]

This is why purity culture doesn’t work!!! We’re all shit! We can all grow and do better!

[xlaceratedlullabiesx-deactivate]

compost the shit parts of yourself and grow something better

[thyrell]

vibe test came back negative :(

[cowgirlmilkers]

6/10 post. The joke hits but it’s not that funny.

[thyrell]

what the fuck

[ratingpostsbasedonhowmanydragons]

0/10. no dragons

[thyrell]

im right fucking here

[marvelsmostwanted]

Me waking up in the morning: Mm bed soft and comfy

Me refusing to go to bed at a reasonable hour at night: Mm screen bright and funny

[catchymemes]

[indelicateink]

that’s it there it is

[kirkpussyindulgence]

sometimes...reddit is ok...

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

archive link to post (link). post text as follows:

This is so fucking stupid. I can't believe I'm doing this. I never use reddit, sorry if I do something wrong.

I (a 19 yr old girl) was watching Star Trek TOS a few weeks ago with 3 other friends (one 18 yr old guy, the other two don't matter)  over a video call. We get to the episode Amok Time, and long story short there's a scene where Captain Kirk's shirt gets ripped right across his pecs (it kinda looks like one of those boob window sweaters?? idk how to describe it I'm sorry)

So when Kirk's shirt gets ripped I say some dumb shit about him having fatty milkers and the two other friends laugh and we just start making tit jokes and making up increasingly stupid words for "boobs".

We watch a few more episodes then call it a day and disconnect the call, and a few minutes after disconnecting the call my guy friend (we'll call him Tom) messages me and brings up the Kirk boob jokes in passing, like he was trying to make it seem casual but I started feeling like he was bothered by it and wasn't telling me, you know? So I asked him if the tit jokes bothered him and he got really defensive and didn't really answer the question.

Later one of the other two people that was there (we'll call him Mark) messages me and tells me that my guy friend was mad at me. Apparently Tom had ranted to Mark about how William Shatner (the guy who played Kirk) was a huge inspiration to him as a kid and he thought I was being extremely disrespectful referring to his character (not even HIM, his CHARACTER) in such a derogatory way (as if William Shatner is gonna give a fuck that some teenage girl in central America said his old character had fat hooters, but I digress)

So Mark said I should apologize, I said it was stupid for Tom to have a temper tantrum over such a meaningless situation, Mark said that was mean, so I caved and apologized (and no it wasn't a backhanded apology, I messaged Tom and said I didn't mean to be disrespectful towards someone he looks up to and that I'd refrain from doing it in the future)

But then Tom continued to give me the silent treatment and fucking brings it up whenever we talk Star Trek and I ended up snapping at him that he was being childish for holding onto this for so long, and that I'd already apologized and I didn't see why this continued to be such an issue.

Tom is now giving an even harsher silent treatment. Mark sides with Tom for some reason, and the other friend just thinks this whole thing is funny. I don't think I'm the asshole, I'll admit it, but some outsider perspective would be nice. AITA?

[thighhighcrocs]

the fact u didnt add some of the comments in the archives is so upsetting bc it means ppl r missing GEMS like these:

[ndiecity-deactivated20241101]

also who tf idolizes shatner lmao

[bunney]

Evanescence: These wounds won’t seem to heal, this pain is just too real, There’s just too much that time cannot erase

12 year old me:

[everythingfox]

[mysharona1987]

[d4rk-vigil4nt]

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