Mean intolerant and allergic to bull @meanintolerantandallergictobull - Tumblr Blog

about me

hey, I'm Mel

I'm currently writing a book, sharing with the world how I started to live a life which made me happy, instead a life which made those around me happy.

Whilst I'm drafting and refining chapters, and figuring out how I will publish this book, I have created to Tumblr to find my people.

My people are those who are kind, and want the world to be a caring place. That's who my book is written for. The person I used to be, until I figured out that life is better when you're a bitch.

#about me #book

Mean - essay #1 of a mini essay series

Many people avoid being mean because our cultures teach us that it's the wrong thing to do. However, being mean - as in selfish, expecting things in return, and limiting your patience and respect - is an act of self love because you deflect and protect yourself from people's hurtful behaviour.

Consistent kindness validates the behaviours of people who hurt you or stress you out. When you respond to those people with kindness - as in understanding why they have acted a certain way and giving them the benefit of the doubt - they have no reason to do better. Their behaviours, which adversely affect you, are rewarded and reinforced because they receive a good outcome: your understanding and patience.

You cannot blindly give your trust and respect to anyone because their intentions are often misplaced. Everyone's behaviour and their words can be a projection of their fears and insecurities, even your own at times. If you trust others without exploring what is true for yourself, you will be misled and vulnerable to tactics like gaslighting.

It's illogical to choose your behaviours to make someone else happy. There is only 1 thing in life which you truly have control of, your own behaviours. If you constantly allow how someone else feels to dictate your behaviours, you will be surrendering the 1 thing in life which you should have control of.

In conclusion, being mean is an act of self love because it safeguards you against hurtful behaviours.

#advice #toxic #feminine rage #mental health #needs #love #help #art

I have created a Substack

https://open.substack.com/pub/libertymell/p/your-permission-to-be-mean-mini-essay-c63?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=4lml1y

#advice #toxic #feminine rage #mental health #needs #help #love #substack

A lot of us live and make decisions which we think will make other people happy. We make decisions as a result of either people's fears or positive reactions. It can be choosing not to go to that club because your parents thinks its dangerous, or settling in the relationship because everyime you talk about it your coworkers respond positively. It's not an awful way to live life. This approach keeps us in good esteem with others, and the outcomes can still be good. However, at what point do you stop? At what point does your life begin?

2027 - upcoming book

#advice #toxic #feminine rage #needs #mental health #love #art

The pathway to self love has 2 necessary crossings to learn from. 1 is to learn to be kind to others, so you have the skills to be kind to yourself. The other is to be intolerant towards others, as you understand that you have no influence on whether others are kind to you

2027 - upcoming book

#advice #toxic #needs #feminine rage #mental health #narcissism #love #help #art

Book Update #1

The hardest part about writing a self help book, rooted in the lessons I have learnt through my own life is balancing my expreince with advice for the reader.

I don't want it to sound like I am focussed on myself, but I can only teach from what I have gone through

#book update

I could never use AI for my writing because I always think, if I'm not interested enough to write it, why would anyone be interested enough to read it?