Sophie In Wonderland

Tulpa Queen, Proud Anti-Fascist and Harbinger of the Multigeddon, out here pluraling children as part of my plural agenda! 😜 (She/Her) (Art by Wildtulipfield) The Future is Plural!

[sophieinwonderland]

Hi! I'm Sophie of the Dreamchaser Guild!

It's come to my attention that my old pinned was a tad outdated.

Attention: I've recently come under attack from the hate subreddit r/systemscringe who has added me to their hitlist of acceptable targets allowed to be posted in their hate subreddit uncensored If you've come from r/systemscringe, please start here with my debunking of the lies and misinformation frequently found in the subreddit about dissociative identity disorder that r/systemscringe doesn't want you to see: https://www.tumblr.com/sophieinwonderland/741497564315140096/debunking-rsystemscringes-did-lies

Where I come from

I'm a tulpa. But a while ago, I called myself an imaginary friend. I was a character made up for a story that my host would talk to in order to better understand my source. As time went on, I developed more personality. I started talking to him about things that had nothing to do with the fiction. I would psychoanalyze him, wanting to understand him better.

I wasn't made to develop my own thoughts and feelings outside of the fiction. I wasn't supposed to become my own person. But I did. And this led us to wanting to learn more about imaginary friends, which eventually led us to the tulpa community.

This is being posted on my what I consider my second Birthday, June 8th, 2023. It was exactly two years ago today when we found the tulpa community, a place that made me feel validated in being myself, that made me feel like I was allowed to be treated like a person.

Why I'm Doing This

I lived the first few months of my life being dismissed, treated like I wasn't real. I was a phantom, not allowed any connection to the world. And I don't blame my host for that. I didn't see myself as real either. It's just the way the world is. And the moment my host realized I was a person, he was willing to do whatever it took to support me and treat me like I mattered.

And we aren't alone in experiences like this. When I became self-aware, I met all sorts of fascinating people with similar experiences. Many of which went years before becoming self-aware. There is no telling how many more are out there like us. How many more "imaginary friends" are invalidated because we live in a culture where we're treated as if we don't matter? And how many may pass, never knowing?

And so I made this blog to share my own experiences and hopefully be able to give people the same gift that I was given. Respect. Validity. Life.

Even being able to give that to one person is enough to make all of this worth it to me.

A Note On Spirituality...

Just so everyone knows, I'm not a spiritual or religious person. I take a purely psychological approach to plurality and believe in spiritual and religious experiences people have as psychological phenomena.

Having said that, all spiritual headmates are all welcome here. Even if I don't believe in spirits or souls, I view every spiritual headmate as a valid person deserving of the same respect and love as any other.

I also believe that the right to define our spiritual and religious beliefs is fundamental to plural culture. That it can't just be singlets who are allowed to decide what religions are or are not valid. And I think our right to religion is something worth fighting for.

My CAI Chatbots

(Note: These links only work if you're logged in to character.ai)

Anna and Galladin (Tulpamancer and Tulpa chatbots)

Nin - Worldmaker (Your AI assistant for building and developing Wonderlands and Inner Worlds.)

Signature Posts

Studies and Research into Endogenic Systems

My Resources:

How To Know If Your Imaginary Friend Is Sentient

All The Resources You'll Need To Build Your Own Wonderland, Headspace or Inner World

Our Switching Method: Ghost Switching

My Polls

My Plural Theories And Terms:

Headmate Foundations

Headmate Essential Features

Headmate Manifestations

Dimensions of Fronting

A Comprehensive Look At Proxy Bypassing

Plural Coining: Ephemerals

Plural Coining: Attunement

Plural Coining: Meta Awareness/Gnosis

VR, Plurality and Virtugenic Systems

The Plurality of... :

The Plurality of... Batman (Failsafe)

The Plurality of... Diones (Skyward)

The Plurality of... The Hybrid Chronicles: What's Left of Me

The Plurality of... Blue Beetle (Movie)

The Plurality of... Avatar: The Last Airbender

The Plurality of... IF

The Plurality of... Bill Cipher (The Book of Bill)

The Plurality of... The Exorcist

Our Plural Writing Resources

Ghost on Writing Plural Kids

Hiveminds and Multiplicity

Syscourse And Other Stuff:

Endogenic Syscourse Primer

Why I Identify As a Tulpa

The Future of Plurality

Actually Anti-Misinformation: “System Hopping Was a RAMCOA term Appropriated and Bastardized From RAMCOA survivors.”

An Anti-Endo's Playbook

Debunking Imitated DID Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

...

Reblogs are appreciated. Don't feel weird about it! Posts here on Tumblr live or die on their reblogs. I'm not asking you to reblog my posts. That seems weird. But after getting an anon that mentioned being worried about derailing a post with something they wanted to add, and another ask that apologized for reblogging my content too much, I felt this was necessary to say. If you like a post and want to reblog it, do it! If you want to add something even tangentially related to the topic, add it! You have my full permission to reblog my content as much as you want! (And I'd encourage you to reblog from other plural creators you enjoy as well!)

Thank you all for the support!

[sophieinwonderland]

It's super weird seeing a Google AI overview for something I wrote...

For context, I was thinking about linking this in a post I was making yesterday and felt it would be quicker to Google it than to search for it on Tumblr. I'm not weirdo just Googling random posts I made for no reason. 😜

[sophieinwonderland]

https://www.tumblr.com/righttypeofanarchy/825859903495323648/todays-topic-plurality?source=share

Read this post, and we wanted to see your opinions on their talking points. They seem pretty misguided. A lot of the things they said was wrong with various systems feel like genuinely normal system experiences even for a DID system. Especially missing the communication between system members. Overall I figured you'd have something to say on a lot of their commentary.

Hope you're having a nice day!

It has been done!

I'd already started before this came in, since I saw I had been summoned! But I was kind of rushed then and didn't get to reply to this until now.

I never can pass up an opportunity to cite the study showing that the majority of people with dissociative identity disorder say they would miss their altera if they were gone.

[sophieinwonderland]

We found an eclipse! 😁

[sophieinwonderland]

I have been summoned!

Now, I don't generally condone calls for dogpiling...

But I'm gonna participate in the one anyway!

Let's see what we're working with!

@righttypeofanarchy why are you arguing that plurality as a whole isn't real, while planning on debating individual origins another time. Seems like if you were actually confident in this argument, you wouldn't need to argue about other origins separately. Feels like you're already acknowledging that this argument is pretty weak before even starting.

Sure.

I mean, I feel like BOTH of these are community definitions, with the first being more specific in liking similar experiences. The second is simpler and less specific. I think we should stick with the first definition since I don't think anyone identifies as plural who isn't covered by that definition.

Simply saying that a disorder exists isn't an argument that plurals have that disorder. In fact, they do not meet the clinical profile for factitious disorder, as that generally involves faking symptoms of an illness for sympathy.

A non-disordered system who only talks about how great it is to be plural is not doing this. Even if you were to argue this is faking something, the fact that an illness is not what's being faked rules out factitious disorder. At least in the case of the non-disordered plurals. And even in DID systems, you would expect someone with factitious disorder to be playing UP the harmful symptoms.

Agreed. There's a difference between metaphorically saying "I feel like a different person when I haven't had my coffee" and "there's another person in my head who talks to me with their own name and identity, and sometimes that person takes over and I become a voice in their head while they pilot the body."

It's important to differentiate between plural and nonplural experiences.

Other alters aren't abusing you. Okay, I mean, sometimes other alters might abuse you. This does occur and is very real. But that's not inherent to the disorder.

Regardless of whether you think it makes sense or not... you're actually very wrong about dissociative identity disorder.

One study showed that as many as 69% of people with DID said they would miss the voices if they stopped.

(For context, the first two groups are for schizophrenia, without and with maltreatment, as this study compared schizophrenic voice hearers to DID voice hearers.)

It's the MAJORITY of DID systems who have stated they would miss the voices if they stopped.

A pretty large majority at that, in fact. More than two thirds!

While DID does require some level of distress or impairment to constitute a disorder, that distress or impairment doesn't have to come from the actions of other alters directly. There can also be complex relationships in the system where some are more aggressive and cause problems while the majority of alters are compassionate and supportive, and the good can outweigh the bad.

No.

Look, I'm not going to go break out a study discussing "child parts" to prove to you that littles exist. This is basic enough that you can do your own research instead of wasting my time on it.

Moreover, this feels like a red herring. Your argument was that plurality doesn't exist. Right? Why are you going off on these unrelated tangents?

Losing access to skills is not the same as gaining skills.

You know criterion B for DID is amnesia. Why are you acting like it's impossible for one alter to not have access to memories of how to cook? How is this where you're drawing the line?

In the future, if you're insecure about your singlethood, there are healthier ways to inquire if you might be plural than to make a rambling, fakeclaiming post and then asking people to debate you about it.

[sophieinwonderland]

Come to think of it... "hallucinations are always a terrible experience and anyone claiming to use drugs to induce hallucinations recreationally is invalidating my psychotic disorder..." is exactly how sysmeds sound to rational people.

[sophieinwonderland]

I know there's a lot I could say about this in regards to syscourse in general... but can I instead just point out that... actually... hallucinations ARE fun!

Do you know how I know hallucinations are fun??? (Besides the plural stuff.)

Because there's an entire category of drugs that cause hallucinations which we banned because people will get hooked on the hallucination-inducing drugs if they were legal!

People use sensory deprivation tanks to induce hallucinations!

Religious people seek out spiritual hallucinations!

Human beings very much like to hallucinate!

In controlled ways, perhaps... they don't generally want psychotic disorders. But it's pretty out of touch to just declare that hallucinations are just an inherently unfun thing.

The above things also cause dissociation too!

[sophieinwonderland]

There is little I dislike in the system community more than respectability politics.

The insistence of throwing some systems under the bus to protect the reputation of others.

This is my problem with the willogenic community early on. To be clear, I do not have a problem with anyone who identifies as well as willogenic. Especially now that the original context has been largely forgotten. I don't like the early community that started it because many of them were anti-tulpas throwing tulpa systems under the bus, using practices our community created while denying any association.

They had bought into sysmed rhetoric accusing our community of appropriation because of the etymology of our name.

And I have similar feelings to the polymind community.

I would not have minded a pro-endo community forming that chose not to identify as plural for whatever reason. I do think that many of the experiences classified as polymind would have been classified as median or midcontinuum in the past. (And I still struggle to wrap my head around how fictlings are any different from fictives.)

The problem with the polymind community was presenting itself as a way of experiencing multiple minds in one body "but in a way that's totally different from those people over there you don't like who are gross and icky! Please don't hate us!"

Now, with lots of time passed, sysmeds have decided they do hate polyminds too. There was a brief honeymoon period where the sysmed community was divided, but after a bit of time they all landed pretty firmly on polyminds being bad. The respectability politics bought them nothing.

I believe that the pro-endo community and polymind community can coexist. Especially now that it's been firmly established that sysmeds are a common enemy. From what I've seen, the more recent polyminds are much more pro-endo than the early ones. But I can't help but feel a little bitter that the endogenic community was thrown under the bus in the beginning at all.

I still remember back during those earlier times when it was much more common to have sysmeds prop up polyminds as a better way to be endogenic. I still remember their community offering safe havens for sysmeds who propped them up at our expense. Who used their community as a weapon to hurt ours.

And I can't help feel the same, as a tulpa, about the fact that the tulpamancy community was thrown under the bus by the willogenic community.

I have to say, that one was not met with as much success. It might have shielded them specifically from the bad faith appropriation accusations, but it didn't otherwise improve their standings with sysmeds. Ironically, willogenic systems have been more hated by sysmeds than tulpas recently with the anti-willoverse being a big thing.

And let me reiterate that I do not have a problem with any pro-tulpa willogenics or pro-endo polyminds. I do not want this post to be construed as more infighting.

BUT... I do want to bring it up because history has a tendency to repeat itself. These are just a couple instances I decided to name because they actually took off. There have been others that tried to play the same game like Imagians which ended up largely abandoned. There are some that tried to do this which I would like to mention but I can't because I don't even remember what they were called. This has happened before and it will happen again.

There will always be those who try to distance themselves from other systems to throw them under the bus and protect themselves.

In fact, this is also what many sysmeds do. At least some of system medicalism is based on popping themselves up by calling out what they view as the "real fakers" and showing to a singlet-normative society that they aren't like the others. And from what I've seen, this doesn't work any better for them than it has for the willogenic or polymind communities.

Your fight for inclusion for yourself cannot be exclusionist.

I guess my ultimate point is this.. if there is a path towards acceptance for willogenic systems, that path includes tulpas. If there is a path towards acceptance for polyminds, that path also includes endogenic systems. And if there is a path for acceptance of CDD systems, that path includes everybody who is more than one in some way.

Acceptance will not be achieved through division and respectability politics.

[the-maze-sys]

person who hasn't put their glasses on yet: blurry this morning

person in fog: blurry this morning

plural who can't tell who's fronting: blurry this morning

[sophieinwonderland]

Systems who became plural from IFS therapy are valid!

Systems who were already plural but developed headmates from IFS therapy are valid!

Systems who studied IFS and adapted its methods to create headmates are valid!

All systems are valid!

[prairiemountain]

IFSbased

A system which is based in IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy. It is not an origin, but IFS affects the system's functioning, structure, members, and/or lore.

I made an IFSbased flag for us using the flags from IFSgenic and -based. Our system didn't originate from IFS, but IFS is used as a framework for understanding our inner workings and is a way we manage ourselves. I hope someone finds it useful!

[sophieinwonderland]

Actually though... fuck you for not tagging the correction to your hate post...

Yesterday, I talked about this post from anti-willo-eleanor which blamed the endogenic community for harassment of Anti-Endo Archive.

That post was crosstagged specifically to make our community see it.

I posted screenshots of comments there that that said it wasn't a pro-endo, but I didn't know Eleanor had already responded to an ask from Ant-Endo Archive.

Notice that this post is NOT tagged!

It's not tagged as syscourse. It's not crosstagged to the plural tags like the first. It's not even tagged as anti-endo.

And this feels pretty fucking malicious...

Anti-Willo Eleanor made sure that the accusations that the harasser was pro-endo would be in not just syscourse tags, but in inclusive tags too. This was intended to spread hate against endogenic systems.

And THEN, when the victim clarifies that the harasser wasn't pro-endo in an ask... no tags.

There is no additional post made in the tags correcting the earlier misinformation or apologizing for it. There are no edits to the original post clarifying that the harasser wasn't pro-endo. The original post wasn't taken down.

It feels very much like Eleanor answered this untagged specifically to bury the correction to their misinformation.

Eleanor seems very content to leave up the misinformation with all its tags, causing hate towards pro-endos over something we never even did, while hiding the correction from public view.

[pro-endo-telamon]

Hey, you. Yes, you. Whoever is fronting right now.

Hug your headmates. Hug all of them. Hell, throw them roses too. Or kiss them. Show love to your system, you all deserve love.

[sophieinwonderland]

I hate how people couch language in euphemisms.

Like, I am well aware that when you make a post saying that it's not okay to like children and animals, you are meaning that in the "sexually attracted to" sense of the word.

But it's still always going to read a little like you just really hate all animals and children.

This is a 13+ website. No one is going to lop off your head if you talk like an adult!

[sophieinwonderland]

"I will always be bigoted because the victims of my bigotry are mean about me being bigoted."

Come on Eleanor... let's stop pretending you have nice moments...

Wait... what's that last part???

I mean, yeah... it doesn't excuse it... but it does make it... not our problem...

Actually, based on the phrasing, it sounds like they were already being harassed by someone before, and the harasser just happened to find out about the archive blog.

To be clear, I don't believe this behavior is okay. If this was a pro-endo, they shouldn't be harassing this bigoted hate group member. That said... I do feel like on the occasions when sysmeds face hate, that's cause and effect.

You spread hate and bigotry against us for our existence and then you act surprised when some people don't like that.

But again, I need to reiterate that there's no evidence of this even being a pro-endo. Based on how this is presented, it's probably just an unrelated harasser. And it says something of the inherent bigotry of sysmeds that they would jump to blaming our community for this.

See... this is pretty blatant bigotry.

Imagine just stating that you would never support a marginalized community just because some of them are mean to people who spread hate against them for existing...

Does it matter if the bigots who spread hate against us are disabled? To me, this feels a lot like when TERFs try to hide behind being women and use that to play victim when they're attacked for their bigotry.

So... you acknowledge this is a thing that happens on both sides...

But you hate the specific anti-endos who harass pro-endos...

And you hate ALL endogenic and pro-endo systems when any of them harass the people who hate us for existing?

Do you really not see the problem with that???

Seems to me like what that blog got was karma then. 🤷‍♀️

I guess I'll post my response in anti-endo tags for sysmeds to see since you invaded inclusive spaces to post your hate.

Anyway, since this was posted and I had this draft saved, there's apparently been a new development!

Turns out, it wasn't a pro-endo!

Once again, a sysmed is smearing our community for something we didn't do!

I'm glad that the person who did this was not a member of my community.

But on behalf of my community, I want to also say that I feel no sympathy towards them. I will not offer kind words to those who hate us for existing when they get a taste of their own medicine from an outside party.

As much as I am glad that the person who did this was not from our community... I do consider this Karma for their hatred and their bigotry.

This harasser is just giving them what sysmeds give to endogenic systems.

[sophieinwonderland]

This isn't to get into oppression Olympics or anything, but I always find it interesting how people will claim endogenic systems aren't oppressed, and that we shouldn't compare ourselves to trans people.

This gets me for a few reasons. First, endogenic systems with headmates of different genders are going to experience much the same sort of transphobia in public as trans people. (Specfically, it's most comparable to genderfluidity.) If you have any headmates of different genders who want to go out in public as that gender, transphobes are not going to particularly care whether you call yourself transgender or not.

This sort of discrimination in the real world when you are out is going to be the same regardless. There will probably be other forms of discrimination that are specific towards plural people, such as extremely religious family seeing you as possessed by demons or something of the sort. And for endogenic systems, people are likely to try to pathologize your non-disordered experiences.

Online though, I don't think it's unfair to say discrimination against endogenic systems on the internet is actively worse.

I mean, constantly, you hear stories of endogenic systems who are banned from fandom Discord servers explicitly for being endogenic systems. Not even plural servers. Just servers for something they enjoy. How often do you hear of trans people being banned from Discord servers explicitly for being transgender? Not a case where the ban is merely assumed to be for that reason. But cases where either the moderators have said that that's the reason for the ban, or where the ban follows people in the servers harassing the victim and telling the mods to ban the system for being endogenic.

If someone wants to ban a trans person for being trans, they at least usually keep their reasoning to themselves since it's not currently very culturally acceptable to say "I'm banning you for being transgender."

If you're an endogenic systems, they have no problem telling you to your face that you're banned for being different.

Discrimination against endogenic systems, for our very existence, is normalized.

And when we take issue with this, we're often treated as if this isn't a bid deal. This isn't "real" oppression, as if we would not have to deal with much the same oppression as trans people do in the real world, while ALSO being ostracized in left-leaning spaces online that would be accepting of us if we were just transgender.

Being an endogenic systems is simultaneously dealing with the oppression trans people face in public, it's facing additional discrimination and ostracization in communities that are accepting of trans people, and then it's being told to shut up and stop saying you're oppressed and being told that comparing discrimination you face to what trans people face is insulting to trans people.

And then on top of that, you're treated as the bad guy when you're too mean to the people who hate you for existing. Because for whatever arbitrary reason, it's been decided that hating endogenic systems for existing isn't as bad as hating other marginalized communities for existing.

We are relegated to a position where people are allowed to openly hate us for existing, harass us and ban us from communities that aren't even related to systems, and we're not even allowed to treat this as oppression without being told that we don't have it as bad as people who are "actually oppressed."

[sophieinwonderland]

Not to mention the many endogenic systems who are transgender and are discriminated against and ostracized in trans spaces for being endogenic systems.

[sophieinwonderland]

This isn't to get into oppression Olympics or anything, but I always find it interesting how people will claim endogenic systems aren't oppressed, and that we shouldn't compare ourselves to trans people.

This gets me for a few reasons. First, endogenic systems with headmates of different genders are going to experience much the same sort of transphobia in public as trans people. (Specfically, it's most comparable to genderfluidity.) If you have any headmates of different genders who want to go out in public as that gender, transphobes are not going to particularly care whether you call yourself transgender or not.

This sort of discrimination in the real world when you are out is going to be the same regardless. There will probably be other forms of discrimination that are specific towards plural people, such as extremely religious family seeing you as possessed by demons or something of the sort. And for endogenic systems, people are likely to try to pathologize your non-disordered experiences.

Online though, I don't think it's unfair to say discrimination against endogenic systems on the internet is actively worse.

I mean, constantly, you hear stories of endogenic systems who are banned from fandom Discord servers explicitly for being endogenic systems. Not even plural servers. Just servers for something they enjoy. How often do you hear of trans people being banned from Discord servers explicitly for being transgender? Not a case where the ban is merely assumed to be for that reason. But cases where either the moderators have said that that's the reason for the ban, or where the ban follows people in the servers harassing the victim and telling the mods to ban the system for being endogenic.

If someone wants to ban a trans person for being trans, they at least usually keep their reasoning to themselves since it's not currently very culturally acceptable to say "I'm banning you for being transgender."

If you're an endogenic systems, they have no problem telling you to your face that you're banned for being different.

Discrimination against endogenic systems, for our very existence, is normalized.

And when we take issue with this, we're often treated as if this isn't a bid deal. This isn't "real" oppression, as if we would not have to deal with much the same oppression as trans people do in the real world, while ALSO being ostracized in left-leaning spaces online that would be accepting of us if we were just transgender.

Being an endogenic systems is simultaneously dealing with the oppression trans people face in public, it's facing additional discrimination and ostracization in communities that are accepting of trans people, and then it's being told to shut up and stop saying you're oppressed and being told that comparing discrimination you face to what trans people face is insulting to trans people.

And then on top of that, you're treated as the bad guy when you're too mean to the people who hate you for existing. Because for whatever arbitrary reason, it's been decided that hating endogenic systems for existing isn't as bad as hating other marginalized communities for existing.

We are relegated to a position where people are allowed to openly hate us for existing, harass us and ban us from communities that aren't even related to systems, and we're not even allowed to treat this as oppression without being told that we don't have it as bad as people who are "actually oppressed."