Meditations d'une Mistress

Juste une jeune mariée essayant de réussir dans la vie. ❤️ @MonsieurHenley ❤️

[mediations-dune-mistress]

Lettre pour mes Followers #6

Chat I’m feeling so sick istg. Morning sickness is really getting to me. Mister Henley didn’t return for a whole week after he received the news I was pregnant. He was tied up with work I assume. I’ve been worried about whether or not to nurse the baby myself. Will Mister Henley think me virtuous for doing it myself or will he just think I’m needlessly ruining my figure? Decisions decisions…

I decided to talk to Mister Henley about this and he agreed with my concern. He thought my impatience and vivacity might be detrimental to the baby and sought the advice of his doctor to determine the best course of action. He didn’t say anything about my well-being. I suppose my concerns over my figure were rather trivial.

It’s really dawning on me now chat. Mister Henley doesn’t see me. He looks at me and sees nothing more than a role in his life that must be filled by a woman of suitable caliber, and that bar is pretty low if he’s willing to settle for me. I will be resigned to a life of perfect indifference from my husband and the children he will raise without me. I’ve fallen into a depressive episode and I don’t think anything but the sudden and inexplicable death of my husband can solve it.

No matter how much I try to talk to him, to express these feelings of hopelessness, he just regards me the same as always. To him I’m little more than a child acting out of line. When you get married chat, you’ll understand. Every woman does. 

[mediations-dune-mistress]

Lettre pour mes Followers #5

I am pregnant. I still haven’t heard back from Mister Henley but he is on business in London for a few days and is most likely busy. I’m so elated I cannot wait to tell him the great news. I vow to be a true mother to this child like I can’t be for Mister Henley’s daughter. 

[mediations-dune-mistress]

Lettre pour mes Followers #4

Okay so listen to this chat. The other day Mister Henley and I went to a ball. I put on this beautiful dress I wore to a ball just a few months ago. It had feathers and flowers and a chic matching hat that my aunt had picked out for me. I was so excited to go to the ball and show off my dress but Mister Henley disapproved! He said a woman over the age of 26 shouldn’t be dressed like a child and that I was much better off in my plain clothes.

Chat I just about cried right then and there. I tried to convince him that my aunt had not meant to infantilise me with these clothes, but rather was trying to make me seem like the proper wife I was. I pleaded that I wouldn’t go unless I could wear the clothes I picked. 

He just smiled at me and said, «Eh ! qu’importe !»

At this I began to cry. He finally saw the pain he was causing me and relented saying that if my aunt deemed it appropriate then he saw no issue. I was elated and kissed him what must’ve been a hundred times. What an understanding man he is chat.

At the ball the guest of honor, Lady Bridgewater, arrived to much anticipation. When she finally did enter she wore a beautiful gown of red feathers! I felt vindicated and pointed out as such to Mister Henley but he simply had no opinion because she was not his wife. To know he cares so much about me was wonderful, though in retrospect I suspect it may have something to do with her being almost 10 years my junior. 

I ended up chatting with Lady Bridgewater all through the night while Mister Henley helped a young girl named Miss Clairville. He really is so kind and thoughtful. Lady Bridgewater was wonderful conversation and we found many commonalities between us. 

Oh god. I ended up making a fool of myself. I spoke too much of Lady Bridgewater’s dress, too much of Mister Henley’s interaction with Miss Clairville, and far too much of Lady Bridgewater’s handsome brother. I have written a letter of apology to Mister Henley. I pray he forgives me.

[mediations-dune-mistress]

Lettre pour mes Followers #3

Okay you guys are all ganging up on me and saying my husband is "weirdly controlling" and "hates creativity" for some reason. I'm telling you his requests were very reasonable. He didn't raise his voice or even get angry. He calmly explained to me why my intentions were good but my actions were wrong. If you had heard him you would understand.

Anyways, I was having trouble keeping up with some of the household chores so Mister Henley told me to contact the old housekeeper to get her to come back. I asked why he could not do this but he simply said he had business. 

When I got in contact with her I found out that the situation was more complicated. She was living in squalor and I would have to take in her sister if I wanted the housekeeper to come back. However, the housekeeper’s sister was very clumsy and untidy, so I had to send them both back to those awful living conditions. 

Mister Henley was mad that I did this and said that a small expense was worth being compassionate and that he would never have even thought of the disadvantages of keeping the housekeeper and her sister around. I suppose he may be right, but that girl was so bad at cleaning, chat even you would have sent her away.

Perhaps from now on I should rely on Mister Henley more for these sorts of decisions?

Much to think about...

[mediations-dune-mistress]

Lettre pour mes Followers #2

I have officially moved into my husband's belle et noble maison, Hallowpark. Apparently Mister Henley's mothers, l'héritière de la famille d’Astley, bequeathed it to him. I was ushered in by these strange servants with these big white wigs to meet my new step-daughter. Do you know what chat? I fell completely in love with her. I gave my new step daughter all the gifts I had bought for her and brought her to see her father. I expected he would be happy to see us getting along so well. Turns out he doesn't like to spoil his daughter and by giving her extravagant gifts I had set a bad precedent. I was a little shocked but I understood that every family is different and I would have to make some adjustments to his lifestyle. I quickly apologized and we moved past it.

A similar occurrence happened a few days later when I tried to teach my new step daughter Les Fontaines Fables. When I showed my husband what I had taught her he became quite perturbed that his daughter was spending time learning frivolous stories and requested that I leave the teaching to her tutors. Of course I understood and agreed that it was best if her education was left in the hands of professionals.

But that's not where the strangeness ends. Every night when Mr.Henley and I go to bed, I lie awake and look out at the wall only to find myself face to face with a giant portrait of his dead wife. I haven't had a good sleep in a week because whenever I close my eyes I can feel her watching me, judging me, as if she's saying "how dare you sleep with my husband in the bed I once slept in. how dare you call yourself Madame Heneley." 

What should I do chat?

[mediations-dune-mistress]

Lettre pour mes Followers #1

Chat, the day has finally come. I! Am! Getting! Married!!!

I honestly thought this day would never come. After being orphaned at a young age and raised by my aunt, I thought I would be doomed to the life of the maid. However, my aunt (bless her heart) trained me to be the perfect wife and has searched tirelessly to find me the perfect husband.

And chat? He really is the perfect man. I thought he might be a lord in a foreign land from his looks alone. Talk about dreamy. I’m going to commission some fanart of him from my favourite artist @MariannePOALOF and submit it for the next tumblr sexyman competition. He’s like if Daniel Radcliff and Elijah Wood had a love child that was 100% hotter than either of them. Seriously.

There’s just one stipulation. He’s been married before. Now before you judge, it’s not like they got a divorce. I don’t believe in divorce of because I’m a #Christian✝️ of course but thankfully she died! Well, not thankfully, but at least I won’t have to compromise my morals to marry the man of my dreams. And don’t worry chat, he assured me he wouldn’t be seeking to get remarried if he was still hung up on his last wife.  Wish me luck!