LoZ: Child goes on adventure because he feels like it
Adventure of Link: Child gets roped into another adventure because the girl from the first one won't wake up
Link to the Past: Pig is the opposite of a furry and pretends to be human to conquer the world. New boy's uncle dies. He isn't having it.
Ocarina of Time: Shows how Pig fell from attractive desert man to a furry. Also time travel.
Majora's Mask: Someone at Nintendo has issues. Also time travel.
Link's Awakening: Boy falls asleep and dreams of protecting his beach waifu.
Oracle of Seasons: Boy gets a boner for a goddess incarnate and rescues her from an Iron Knuckle cosplayer
Oracle of Ages: Same thing but the goddess is blue and the Iron Knuckle cosplayer is now a hot sorceress. Also time travel again.
Wind Waker: Moana without dark skin or a female lead and also like 15 years before Moana.
Minish Cap: Nintendo's fetishes get out of hand.
Four Swords Adventures: This time there's FOUR BOYS. You did not have enough friends to play this game like it was meant to be played. Nobody did. Switch re-release pls.
Twilight Princess: The edgy one. If you were 13 at the time this was your favorite Zelda. You know exactly why. Introduced Edgy Waifu Supreme, who would hold that position for years to come.
Phantom Hourglass: Moana again but there's an asshole with you.
Spirit Tracks: Choo choo. Girl dies.
Skyward Sword: It's the worst one. But it's still great. Also more time travel.
Link Between Worlds: Link to the Past again but there's a shadow world where people are hotter and usually evil.
Hyrule Warriors: Boob Witch tears the timestream apart because of her boner. This time the time travels to you. A lot of people hated this /Japanese Made Action Game from Koei Tecmo/ for being too anime.
Tri-Force Heroes: This time there's THREE BOYS. They ate the purple one for sustenance because Nintendo doesn't feed them anymore. Nobody liked this one. I lied this is the real worst one.
Breath of the Wild: Religious dad fucks over the entire world. Amnesiac small boy catches things on fire.
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