Small vent that's prolly not that deep but I just need it off my chest:
I'm honestly not feeling great. Not like sick, or depressed. But in unbearable loneliness. My best friend since 2nd grade is moving away, another friend I have to mask HEAVILY to be around, and my last friend, I feel like I annoy so much.
I feel like no one on this earth has never understood me, and what I like. What I mean is this:
i'll be talking/texting them about whatever
And after a while, I feel like they're just kinda.. Tuning me out? It rlly sucks because I have one friend who doesn't rlly ship characters, and then my only other friend who ships characters a lot isn't in any of my fandoms so I'm just utterly alone in what I can enjoy and share.
It's this unbearable amount of loneliness that's started to cling to me like a shell that I can't rip off because like I've stated, I feel like I'm just always some weird autistic girl who can never fit in. I feel like a square trying to fit in with circles (neurotypical people) and a square trying to fit in with rectangles (other neurodivergent people).
Even with my own people, I'm still weird and I still stick out like a sore thumb.
I'm losing people who understood me, but even then, didn't understand me all that much. My already small social circle is getting even smaller and I feel this wall of sadness due to that.
Sorry that I haven't been active, this is mostly why.
Sorry for the vent too, I just needed somewhere to get this off my chest and maybe find someone who understands it. Hopefully this makes sense.
Wow. Citlali's outfit in Genshin, I love to see another outfit get another Fontainian/modern outfit!!
Especially when she's representing my culture and they already did a bad job with it in her clothing.
I'm so fucking tired of EVERY single outfit for Genshin character's being from Fontaine with very few exceptions. It's so exhausting, especially since Genshin would rather put a gun in their mouth and pull the trigger than 1. Make dark skinned or even TAN characters, and 2. Give said character's who should be darker due to the geological location but also the culture proper outfits for the culture the represent!!
I'm so done with this game. I would've quit by now if I hadn't spent so much money.
Don't get me wrong, I love citlali. But I HATE her new outfit.
Been thinking about an au of the Sullyâs looking for uturu at the western frontier. Initial interactions would take place before the Sarentu were awoken from Cryosleep.
Kaânat, even though Jake is Toruk Makto, probably wouldnât be⊠very pleased that they were there. His mate was killed in this war, he doesnât want to be part of it. Etuwa isnât there for the first interaction, so sheâs a little peeved at her father for turning the family away.
Nesim and Minang would certainly poke fun at the family, in a less mean manner than Ronal and Tonowariâs family, but would presumably grant uturu. While theyâd have less of a learning curve than learning to swim, the vast plains are definitely something to get used to. Learning to deal with harsh winds and riding paâli more often than ikran. Learning the ways that the Zeswa cohabit with the Zakru. (A Payakan-adjacent Loâak storyline would probably happen with a Zakru instead of a Tulkun)
If the Sullys were to ever seek out the Kameâtire, I donât think theyâd find them. The Hollow is relatively well hidden and the clan is kinda in hiding. Plus the yavĂ€ would make just being there dangerous.
This is just spitballing Iâll probably think about it when I zone out at work.
Guys I'm gonna be honest, i really don't hate Alma. She did so much wrong, but I can't bring myself to dislike her. She tries her best to redeem herself okay. i mean I do hate her bit like
CW: Alma has issues, infertility, rough sex as a way to atone for sins, human reader implied
A = Aftercare (what theyâre like after sex)
Alma's very vulnerable during sex, which isn't always gentle. Therefore she needs a lot of comfort after.
She has it hard, for many reasons. She's not everybody's favorite to put it lightly and while hurtful, it is okay. As long as she is your favorite.
You need to show her that you still love her, that this isn't just using her.
Cries a lot after while you hold her, gently threading your fingers through her hair.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partnerâs)
She preferred her avatar much more to her actual self. That's no secret.
She liked her Na'vi traits. The neural queue, the tail, the ears and blue skin. Not to say she finds such sexy, but it made her feel different, better.
Does not like herself. Both because of her looks as well as what she did.
Despite this, she's actually quite nice to touch and look at. I know the game has like one fem human model, but I like to think she's very soft, with nice curves and smooth skin.
She really likes all of you, but your hands she likes most <3
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
I'd say she's more of a creamer rather than a squirter.
The wrapper might be a little wrinkly but the candy sure is sweet.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Alma fantasizes about pregnancy a lot.
Of course, it is not shameful to want a family, but she's a little too old for that and she doesn't even want to imagine how her mental health would actually crumble from guilt with another child.
She just likes to think about being a mom. She's always wanted a baby.
A baby she'd never have, as she's infertile (headcanon).
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what theyâre doing?)
She's like 50, she is no virgin.
Average amount of experience. She had a few partners.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Anything that lets her be close to you, really.
Missionary, mating press.
Even doggy. doggy style is not allowing her as much affection, but lets her get all she needs when she wants you to be rough.
Always bottoms.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Neither? I mean, the most she'd say are "I love you"s and stuff like that??? Idk guys thats a tough one.
Probably not the one to joke around tho.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
She has a curly bush, a real amazonian jungle once she left RDA. Before that it was being shaved.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Alma is really getting chewed up by life, despite this being the consequences of her own actions. On the one hand, she feels like she deserves this, on the other, she wishes she didn't have to go through all this. Therefore, she lets herself open and be vulnerable during sex.
She lets you be rough with her, oftentimes asking for you to spank her, slap her, pull her hair. Because she feels she needs to be punished for all the things she's done.
At the same time, the woman is very clingy, wrapping her soft thighs around your hips. And tail, were she in her avatar.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Not much tbh.
The Resistance base doesn't offer much privacy where she could just go and masturbate + she has so much to do she doesn't have time.
She used go in her avatar somewhere hidden in the forest but that still was rare.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
She's pretty vanilla for the most part. Praise, closeness.
But she sometimes feels so disgusted with herself, like she doesn't deserve all this love and sweetness.
Those days she prefers you to be more rough, slap her, spank her, degrade her. Of course, it's all done in a safe measure, you won't let her go crazy.
At first she used it as means to somehow make up for her wrongdoing, but she then started to get turned on by this.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
There isn't really a good place for her to do so. All the locations kind of suck.
At this point she'd kill for a private bedroom and a proper mattress.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Seeing you focused while working on something. Makes her wish you'd be working on her orgasm instead.
Lingerie. She likes seeing you in something pretty. It's a small luxury that makes her feel more at home, at peace, away from the many problems she has going on.
N = No (something they wouldnât do, turn offs)
Besides borderline taboo/crazy kinks like ageplay, knife play etc.
Anal. No, you're not putting anything up her booty.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Alma prefers to receive head rather than give it.
I'd say she's more skilled at sucking dick than eating pussy, but she makes up for it with her motivation.
Really does want you to be happy and satisfied.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Honestly doesn't mind either. Again, depends on her mood.
Though it usually is on the slow and sensual side.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Avatars also go through heat cycles. With how much time she spends in her avatar, it comes to her human body too.
So, when it happens, quickies are inevitable.
Against every surface, everywhere, in each body, every day.
R = Risk (how are they with the risk of getting caught? are they game to experiment?)
She's open with trying out new things in bed, whatever makes you happy.
Alma CANNOT afford to be caught during sex. Hell naw, she's a leader, she can't!
Also like, some kidna hate her ass for what she's done and do not want to see her booty ass naked.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Alma can go, okay?
3-4 rounds per usual.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
It's pride month let's indulge in lesbianism. She needs her girl to use a strap on her.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Can a bottom truly tease? I don't know. No, I don't think so, no.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
She cries a lot, like really a lot.
When she's not crying, however, she's let out these really cute, quiet gasps when you hit her cervix with your cock/strap.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
One time you used a vibrator at the base of her tail and she lowkey got addicted.
X = X-ray (letâs see whatâs going on under those clothes)
Plump labia with prominent inner lips.
I think she has a big clit.
Interesting stripe and freckle patterns in her avatar.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Slightly below average, I'd say.
She is slightly too stressed for it to be normal.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Due to less than convenient places/time of you two having sex, she can't really go to sleep soon after.
Would love to fall asleep on your chest. She feels so safe and loved when she listens to your heart.
Oh Alma, they could never make me form a consistent opinion on you
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