-Meepy Sheepy-

------- | WA | Cosplayer/Streamer------ personal occasionally usage find me here: https://linktr.ee/meepy_sheepy

[meepy-sheepy]

Wano is so good!! 😫

I finally decided to just push on catching up and I'm almost there! (30 away I think?) I'm going to stay caught up with the manga too once I get there!

[dmrdmrdmr-deactivated20230828]

my sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle

[meepy-sheepy]

...

It's been 6 months or so and I still have nights where my thoughts haunt me. I feel so tired all day from the smallest activities but as soon as I lay down my brain tells me everything I don't want to hear.

I cry in silence trying not to wake my husband because I already feel like a burden. I feel alone even though I talk to people everyday I feel unmotivated and useless even though I have piles of things to do. I feel so little even though I feel so much.

I feel as if I speak no one will listen. Maybe I'm the haunt myself. I try my best to pretend things are ok and that they are getting better, but a wave always comes back drowning me again reminding me that I've gone no where. I once read how someone else felt about depression. Some say it's like being in a boat and never seeing shore or having only one paddle never getting to your destination. I feel as if I'm stuck on an island of my thoughts that I occasionally break away from into the ocean only for the waves to push me back towards land. I may be thinking I've gotten farther but I realize I can stand in the water still.

I try my best to think of the things that are "better" here but they don't really matter to me. The things I'm missing, the thought of change matters so much more. I realize I'm not close to anyone. I never hung out with anyone before and I definitely don't now. I only speak to my mom now and I realized that the pride of my supposed best friend is more important then our friendship.

I've wanted to go to a therapist again but it stresses me out thinking about doing it here. I also didn't have a great experience with the last one. But we'll need to soon for the cats. And summer stresses me out. I hate that word now. "Summer" it just fills me with dread. I'm hoping that venting even though it's empty will finally help me fall asleep.

[drowning-in-emptyness]

I thought I knew pain but this? this is excruciating.

[misfitoffate]

[stresssoanddepresso]

I had a good day, and now all I want to do is sleep, what the fuck is wrong with me.

[misfitoffate]

[depression-healthy-carrier]

There’s nothing as exhausting as trying to explaining how bad things are in my head

[radiantquotes]

[aseaofquotes]

Donna Tartt, The Goldfinch

[haydengise]

[femderp-deactivated20190606]

This post made me feel old. 

[dar-draws]

you look fine to me

[eat-the-hell]

stealth

[eat-the-hell]

The best part about this is the amount of people that just now found out about how big Haunter really is

[jujanon]

[chipsprites]

me: look, a crab eating a strawberry

my roommate: but he’s eating such small pieces..

me: …he’s a crab

[meepy-sheepy]

11/13/18

I feel like I should vent out in the open but I don’t feel comfortable posting on places like Facebook or Instagram. I’m so conflicted like I want people to care or someone to talk to, but at the same time I feel like it doesn’t help me or that no one will care.

It’s been a month and a half since I’ve moved to Seattle and I still get anxiety like I’ve never had before. My heart pounds in my chest and my shoulder blades/ ribs always feel so tight making it hard to breath. 

It’s a feeling that stays for most of the day and It just makes me wanna curl up in a ball and cry. At this point I feel like I should be on medication or something. Every time I’m home and I’m not talking to someone verbally or doing things to keep me focused my brain just feels like poison drowning me.

I now have trigger words that throw me into the anxiety even if I’m happy and have been for most of the day. I’ve never had that before. I’ve never felt like this.

I’ve lost 8 lbs since moving here and most days it’s hard to eat so now I take Soylent to try to fill the gaps. I still have meals but I just don’t feel right. The only things that seems to help is going to my sisters, watching long tv shows or getting engulfed into a game. But it’s always only a temporary fix.

[idiona]

do u ever do something mildly impolite like not give a nice goodbye or not hold a door and spend the rest of the day thinking about it

[hizuki-akira]