Fara

Jawn. Muslimah. Expressions. Lover Empathetic. Introvert. Traveler. She's second to no one!

[thegoodvybe]

[mefinding-me-blog]

Single life is fun.

I wonder why I ever abandoned it.

I wont cheat on it again.

I will do right by it.

I will live it up.

[mefinding-me-blog]

Lesson #4

This year I studied Islam, and contemplated taking a husband. In sin, I dated. I don't know how I'm supposed to hand my life n heart over to a man without first dating. Eventually, I came to the conclusion not to marry him. he was not faithful and not a good Muslim. He would have never been able to lead my family in a manner which I felt was pleasing to Allah (swt). Currently being patient n letting Allah lead the man fit to be MINE to me.

[mefinding-me-blog]

2018 was year of the snake. I wonder what 2019 has in store.

[rxmcri]

[mefinding-me-blog]

[mefinding-me-blog]

Change

[definegodliness]

22-9-2018, M.A. Tempels ©

[bnmxfld]

[mefinding-me-blog]

#20

As I sit and tell you of dreams for my future

My unborn children

My house that'll I'll make a home

And the future I see for myself

You aren't a part of it

I have no plans on including you

Your just getting to hear about all the things you'll miss out on.

[mefinding-me-blog]

[mefinding-me-blog]

My anger at the tip of my pen

Inception to loathing befitting

Unexpected expressions emerge

Indulgance of suppressed frustrations

Forgotten faults remembered

Memories of hurt and pain intensified

Presenting oppportune moments of reflection

For a professed professional of deflection

Denounced to an amateur of articulation

Blank pages still like a mirror

To my irreparable mistakes

And still that anger remains

At the tip of my pen..

[hairstylesbeauty]

[az-67-deactivated20211229]

Be careful who you push away, real ones don’t come back

[55-7]

Listen to your eyes.

[mefinding-me-blog]

make me ok again

I spent all day Saturday just wishing I could sleep the pain away, eat the pain away, play the pain away. But it didnt happen.

Round 5 I hopped up with the great idea to cut off all my hair. Ready for a drastic change. But that didnt happen either.

Round 7 I figured I'd get my eyebrows done, do something to make myself feel good for once in a while. And for a second, it happened.

I felt refreshed, a lil cute n optimistic that getting my eyebrows done had brought me completely outta my funk.

Then I got my hair done, HATED IT. Got dressed, my mom suggested a shaw to cover my weight gain and then it happened again, I was back in my funk.

Round 9 I got to the party. Smiles, grins, hugs and hellos all faked to get thru the next 2 hours. Time seemed to just crawl by.

By 12 I was back in my bed. My happy place. Where I can be sad and no one would care. Where I could rely on my pillow to be there to catch my tears, my walls to muffled my cries and screams from the world.

In my bed where my sad, mad, uncomfortable feelings swirl around my head. Where I invite an enemy of my heart to lay beside me, inside me, underneath and on top of me.

In the midst of the misery is where I seem most comfortable because i know where I am and I'm free to feel how I feel, this is where I will be until further notice.

[mefinding-me-blog]

Out of Body

Living thru this love feels like a slow and painful death.

There are no words left to say to put my mind at rest.

Every word that you speak sounds like a drawn out eulogy.

Begging for my my forgiveness, telling me all the good things you knew about me.

Yet chose to neglect that girl while she was here.

Why couldn't u acknowledge me like this before I left my body.

Why did it take me stepping out of character for you to start missing the person I was?

I'm changed now but I'm still around.

Living a life I wish I wasnt a part of.