Megan Chambers

Making the world a better place, one interaction at a time.

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This blog has now moved to www.meganchambers.org. Drop by and see my sometime.

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Ramp up your productivity and health with meditation

Well, I didn't think I'd do it but I have - meditated for 20 minutes every day for the last six weeks. I thought I'd be dragging myself out of bed at 5.30 am to do it but over time it became so enjoyable that it was no trouble at all. I've meditated on and off over the years, the most regular being an hour a week for two years. But something's different about doing it every day for six weeks.

I expected certain results, like feeling calmer, less anxious, sleeping better and thinking more clearly. These have all happened and would be wonderful in themselves. But some other effects I didn't expect and they've left me intrigued:

1. I am having more creative ideas that are helping me be more productive and happier. They are popping into my head out of the blue. For example, one weekend I was thinking about my 'to do' list at work and feeling overwhelmed by the number of items on it, not knowing where to start. I suddenly saw an image in my mind of my to do list organised into categories so I could better see what I had on my plate making prioritising easier. On Monday, I went into the office and did this categorising first thing. I could then see everything clearly and the feeling of overwhelm disappeared. This is just one example. Having these kinds of ideas almost daily is helping me function much more effectively at work and home.

2. Sometimes when I'm meditating I see images in my mind of myself in various scenarios such as being by a river meeting a wise old, Gandolf-like man, living as a young boy in Tibet or living as a woman in a wealthy family in 19th century England. Whenever I ask what I need to learn from this I'm given deep insights into situations in my life. These insights may help me solve problems, give me a more useful way of looking at things or help me understand a situation. This tells me that meditation helps me switch into my Right Mind, the place where all answers lie. (For a description of Right Mind and Wrong Mind, see my blog, For a strong business, get into your Right Mind.)

3. Another surprising effect is that patches of eczema on my skin have completely disappeared. In the last three years, the only time it was fully gone was when I took six months off work to recover from burnout due to a project which gave me a great deal of stress and brought on my eczema in the first place. It disappeared on my first day of leave and didn't return until I went back to work. Now it's gone.

We all spend time functioning in one of two modes, either the relaxation response or the stress response, otherwise known as fight, flight or freeze. I can feel that, due to meditating, the amount of time I spend in the stress response has reduced. This is a very good thing because, as biologist Bruce Lipton discusses in his award-winning book, The biology of belief *, it is impossible for the individual cells in our bodies to be defending themselves at the same time as they are healing and growing. So, if you are spending most of your days under stress your body is not healing itself or thriving at the cellular level. This could help account for the dramatic increase in cancer and stress-related diseases, such as high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease and certain gastrointestinal diseases, in our modern age where we are constantly bombarded with stress that never seems to end. Lipton cites research showing that almost every major illness has been linked to chronic stress.

The relaxation response is partially switched on by activities such as watching TV, sitting in a cafe with a good book or lying on the beach. But if you want to experience the full effects of the relaxation response, and really get your cells healing and growing, you'll need to actively trigger it by proven practices such as meditation, mindfulness or progressive muscle relaxation. Massage is also great but it's unlikely you'll be able to receive a massage every day (sadly).

It's great to see companies embracing mindfulness practices to help their staff manage stress and increase their productivity. Such companies include Commonwealth Bank, Google, Sony, American Express, General Electric, Harvard University, Facebook, Apple, Nike, Proctor & Gamble and McKinsey & Co. to name just a few.

If indeed regular meditation does help people switch into their Right Minds (which I have certainly experienced) then a way to increase employee engagement is to encourage managers to adopt the practice. This way, they will make better decisions and have a more positive impact on the people they manage (as I outline in my blog mentioned above).

Now get active and meditate daily - your body, mind and the people in your life will thank you for it.

* Bruce H Lipton (2009) The biology of belief: Unleashing the power of consciousness, matter and miracles. Hay House, California.

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Women, don't hold yourselves back - lean in!

I had never thought much about gender inequality, which is strange considering I'm a female working in a masculine arena, finance within a large corporation. Maybe it was because I had mostly worked within Human Resources and Organisational Change Management which employ high numbers of women. But I had worked closely with a variety of business units and had seen the masculine cultures, particularly within asset management and IT. I'd also seen women acting like men and noticed that they were more likely to obtain senior positions than the more traditionally feminine women. I had also attended many meetings surrounded by senior men and noticed the absence of women. But I just didn't think too much about it.

Well that's all changed since a male colleague of mine suggested I watch a TED talk by Sheryl Sandberg, Chief Operating Officer at Facebook. I watched it once and thought it was good but that the content didn't really apply to me because I had no aspiration to be CEO. Then my colleague and I discussed the assumptions we both held about life at the top. I realised for the first time that I thought that the higher you climbed towards the top the more masculine and aggressive the culture would become. Therefore, I believed that this was unlikely to be a place where I would be valued or heard, being a female and an introvert, so why would I want to be there? For this reason, I had never aspired to climb very high on the corporate ladder. This was a surprising revelation to me, something I had never articulated. So I decided to watch the Sandberg TED talk again but this time with my newly discovered assumption placed to one side.

This time, the talk resonated with me. I immediately downloaded Sandberg's book, 'Lean in: Women, work and the will to lead', and started reading. I was so saddened by what I read that I felt compelled to pass on this information. So here are some key points I've learned so far (and I'm only up to chapter three!) All the assertions that Sandberg makes she backs up with research which is cited in the book:

In Australia, currently only 9% of executive officer positions and 12% of ASX500 CEOs are women (and the numbers haven't budged for years). This is despite women earning 57% of the undergraduate degrees.

In Australia, women earn 86 cents for every dollar earned by men.

Men are promoted based on their potential ability to do the job whereas women are promoted if they can prove they can already do 100% of the job.

From birth, girls are treated differently - our mothers under-estimate our abilities but over-estimate the abilities of their sons.

For a boy, being 'bossy' is normal and expected but for a girl it violates social norms - it is unacceptable and discouraged.

Teachers tell girls to keep quiet and raise their hands but boys are allowed to interrupt and talk more. Teachers also call on boys more often than girls. This continues on into the corporate world.

Women, in this day and age, still experience social pressure to find a man, get married and have children. So women stop trying to be successful early in their careers to make room for the husband and kids who may not even exist yet.

There are no positive stereotypes of working women - they are all portrayed as stressed and exhausted, even though this defies reality according to the research.

Men do not share housework equally so a working woman ends up with two full-time jobs. When something has to give it's usually the career as she's likely to be earning less than him.

Men expect to have both a satisfying career and family life, women don't.

Girls are taught not to advocate for themselves or to take risks, qualities that are needed to progress to leadership roles.

Girls and women do not see working in senior positions as a viable option for them because they're so used to seeing only men in those roles.

Accomplished women are liked less than men who have exactly the same accomplishments.

And an observation of my own: When men perform poorly in leadership roles no-one bats an eyelid but when a woman performs poorly it's assumed it's because she's female and couldn't hack it like the boys can.

With all this against them (and this is the tip of the iceberg), is it any wonder women are plagued with self-doubt about their abilities and don't even bother trying to assume leadership roles?

Sandberg makes it clear that she's aware that not all women want to assume leadership positions, that we don't all want to be CEO or even to have a career. The information in her book applies to any roles where women can have an impact. She also acknowledges that organisations have a big part to play in reducing barriers for women. But her book focuses on the internal barriers women experience - these are within our control - as long as we are aware they exist.

More women in power and men at home would make the world a better place. It would allow girls and boys to spend more valuable time with their fathers. It would help reduce the dreadful oppression, rape, torture and silencing that so many women around the world experience. It would give us access to more intelligence so we can make better decisions - Sandberg recounts that Warren Buffett attributes part of his success to "competing with only half of the population". And it would help make workplace cultures less aggressive and competitive leading to better business decisions and higher employee, customer and community engagement. Who knows, they may even become cultures women want to belong to.

Please pass this information on to all the girls and women in your life so they can start dismantling their internal barriers to leadership and leaning in to their careers. Otherwise, we'll just be in the same place we are in now 20 years down the track - and that's not good enough. All of us, men and women, can do better - we deserve better and our children deserve better.

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When we are no longer able to change a situation we are challenged to change ourselves.

Viktor E Frankl, psychologist, author, and Nazi holocaust survivor

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For a strong business, get into your Right Mind

I wonder how many leaders truly understand how powerful they are. If a leader manages a team of 5 managers and each manager has 10 team members, that leader directly impacts the lives of 55 people every day. I say 'every day' because their influence is felt even when the team members are not at work. If I have a boss I enjoy working for I'm going to be happier outside work than if I have a boss I don't like or respect - we've probably all experienced this difference. If each team member has just 10 people in their immediate circle of family and friends (and some have many more) then the manager is affecting 550 people. Multiply that by the huge numbers of people in our broader network and the number becomes thousands. This is a HUGE responsibility.

I find the model of Right Mind and Wrong Mind* to be a very simple and practical guide to becoming aware of my thoughts and behaviours to ensure I am having a positive impact on those around me and, in turn, building a strong business. In a nutshell, following is a description of what it's like to be in your Right Mind and Wrong Mind.

In your Wrong Mind:

You feel separate from others, as though you have different, and often opposed, interests. Solutions you come up with are more likely to be win/lose.

You feel a great deal of fear (largely repressed or projected outward) manifesting as emotions such as anger, arrogance, anxiety, envy, attachment, worry, guilt, shame and depression.

You feel lacking - you always want more money, more time, better clothes, a better house and car, higher status, etc. You feel as though there's never enough so you desperately cling to what you have and try to get more of what you don't have even at the expense of others.

Life feels very complex and difficult, often of your own making (although you won't see it this way, it's always someone or something else's fault). Life is a struggle - you are using force to get things done rather than power (see my previous blog The power behind your New Year's resolutions for a description of the difference between power and force).

Contrast that with how life looks when you're in your Right Mind:

You feel connected with others, understanding that you affect each other on a deep level. So you treat others with respect and care. You look for win/win solutions.

In place of fear is trust and love manifesting in emotions such as happiness, peace, acceptance of things as they are, kindness, hope, lightness, optimism and humility.

You understand that you already have all you need and are grateful for what you have. When you seek out a higher salary or better car there is no sense of desperation, craving or puffed-up entitlement.

Life feels simpler and easier. When difficult situations arise you can see them for what they are and intuitively come up with creative solutions that work. You are using power instead of force, making your life flow.

Having worked in business for 24 years I have experienced many leaders and managers operating in various degrees from their Right Minds and Wrong Minds. (We're not consistently in either, we fluctuate between the two.) Their impact on the team's or organisation's culture cannot be under-estimated.

Here are some behaviours I have noticed from leaders in their Wrong Minds:

Take credit for good ideas and seek to blame others for errors.

Prevent high performing team members from advancing to maintain their own team's output.

Micromanage - don't trust their team members, believe they are the only ones with the answers, the only ones capable of making the right decisions.

Don't hire good people due to fear of being outshone.

Put profit before people.

At the extreme are characteristics of workplace psychopaths - engage in sabotage of others' work, spread lies and rumours, intimidate others, keep secrets believing knowledge is power, and manipulate such as playing people or teams off against each other.

Due to the leader's influence over others, these Wrong Minded behaviours lead to Wrong Mindedness in staff (anger, fear, resentment, frustration), low employee engagement and poor team performance.

On the other hand, here is what I've seen from leaders in their Right Minds:

When mistakes are made, they find the root cause and ensure the problem is fixed. The individual responsible may need additional training or to be removed from the organisation, but this is done without blame and attack due to the leader's lack of fear.

Empower their staff to do their best work. Delegate and trust their staff to make the right decisions.

Will happily employ someone smarter than them and allow this person's talents to shine for the good of the team.

Put people before profits.

Don't impose solutions to feel powerful but facilitate the team to draw out the best solutions.

Tell the truth and give credit where credit is due.

How do you think staff members would feel working for someone in their Right Mind? From experience, they feel empowered, valued, appreciated, trusted and trusting, happy and willing to go the extra mile - hallmarks of a highly engaged and high performing team.

Did you feel different as you read the descriptions of Right Minded and Wrong Mindedness? Being exposed to Wrong Mindedness generally makes our bodies feel constricted and perhaps a little uncomfortable but Right Mindedness makes us feel open and relaxed.

Which leader would you prefer yourself, your spouse or your child to work for? Which leader do you think is likely to build a successful, sustainable company that builds up its employees and its community? The answer is obvious.

If you want some real life examples of the impact that Right and Wrong Minded leaders have had on businesses over the last century, read Jim Collins & Jerry I. Porras' Built to Last* through the lens of the Right Mind/Wrong Mind model.

Ask yourself what you'd like your leadership legacy to be then make your choice - there are only two - fear and separation or trust and unity. Your decision will have ramifications broader than you will ever know.

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* Helen Schucman & William Thetford. A course in miracles (2nd ed.) (1992) Foundation for Inner Peace: Temecula, CA.

* Jim C. Collins & Jerry I. Porras (10th anniversary edition) (2005) Built to last: Successful habits of visionary companies. Random House Business Books: London.

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Could the New Groupthink be killing creativity at work?

After my recent two weeks of annual leave I noticed a very interesting phenomenon which Susan Cain discusses in her best selling book, Quiet*.

I had two weeks off over the Christmas/New Year period and despite a few days of craziness organising for Christmas it was a quiet, peaceful, relaxing break during which I spent a lot of time reading, seeing movies, going out for coffee and other nice things. I did the same thing back in October when I had two weeks off and spent four relaxing days in Byron Bay.

During both these breaks I noticed that my creativity soared. I had lots of good ideas which I successfully implemented (including to start this blog) and I did plenty of creative writing. But both times, when I returned to my corporate job, my creativity fell. It didn't disappear but it reduced noticeably. During the holidays, creative ideas popped into my head all the time. Now, back at work, coming up with ideas is much more of a conscious, rather than an unconscious, process. I find I have to draw ideas to me, like reeling in feisty fish, rather than having them jump into my boat by themselves.

Back in 2009, I chose to drop my corporate work days from five to four. When I walked out of the office after my last five-day working week I felt elated. My mind went wild thinking of all the options now open to me because I now had 50% more free time. And the period since has indeed been a highly creative and productive time for me. But was it only because I now had more free time or because of the reduction in distractions?

In Quiet, Susan Cain discusses people who have changed the course of history with their creative ideas - they worked alone. Steve Wozniak didn't design the first personal computer as part of a team. Einstein's theory of relativity wasn't the result of a committee. Carl Jung's paradigm-shifting insights didn't come out of a brainstorming session. They all worked alone as do many highly creative people.

At work, in an open plan office in a large corporation, I'm an introvert required to extrovert most of the day. Constant distractions are normal and regular meetings and team activities are expected. If I need to create I work from a coffee shop, the side of the river or from home, anywhere but the office.

Susan Cain talks about the New Groupthink that 'elevates teamwork above all else.' At a time when innovation is essential to maintain a competitive edge, businesses make it virtually impossible to work quietly alone. But this is essential for the deep thinking that leads to great ideas that will maintain a business' competitive advantage.

Cain also cites studies showing that employees with 'acceptably private' workspaces are more productive, less likely to leave the organisation, and even have better health outcomes than those without. Interruption is 'one of the biggest barriers to productivity' and the effectiveness of multi-tasking has been well-proven to be a myth. Cain mentions 40 years of research showing that brainstorming doesn't actually work, that individuals produce more, and often better, ideas on their own than in groups.

So why do we fanatically continue with teams? One reason is that chance interactions with people fuel idea generation. Innovation is positively correlated with the size of one's community - cities generate more innovation than country towns.

I believe another reason is that teams are great for implementing ideas. When you have to get a practical job done such as organising a conference, running a school or building the first personal computer, many hands make light work. But this is very different from coming up with the idea of a conference, school or personal computer in the first place. The idea to create TED Talks came from the insight of founder Richard Saul Wurman who noticed a powerful convergence of Technology, Entertainment and Design. But he couldn't have made TED the world-wide phenomenon it is today by himself.

So, my three recommendations:

Know thyself - are you an introvert or extrovert? More of a creator or doer?

If you are a creator and/or introvert, start carving out quiet, alone-time for yourself as much as possible and watch your creativity and productivity soar. Ideally this would include some time each day in meditation.

If you are a business owner or leader, think long and hard about your open plan offices, your meeting culture (expectations and technology), and your provision of quiet work spaces. Investigate the research Susan Cain mentions. Your decisions now could affect the success and longevity of your business well into the future.

* Quiet: the power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking (2012) Viking/Penguin, U.K.

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7 steps to using your intuition as a powerful guiding light

How comfortable are you with using your intuition for guidance, as a source of information? Some consider intuition unreliable because of its mysterious nature - no-one really understands what it is or how it works. But we all drive cars without understanding how the engine works. In the same way, we can practice using intuition on small things until it becomes a trusted friend. Then you'll wonder how you ever lived without it.

Fear is often the reason people don't trust their intuition. But think about it this way - your conscious mind has a very narrow focus which is necessary otherwise you'd be overwhelmed with all the data hitting your five senses. But your unconscious mind holds every bit of data that has ever crossed your awareness. So even though you're consciously aware of only a small amount of this data, you actually have access to all of it. You can access it using your intuition. In that way, your intuition is your sixth sense.

Carl Jung is one of many great thinkers to hypothesise that all minds are in fact joined and so not only do we have access to everything we've ever experienced but also everything that everyone else has ever experienced. Quantum physics is also finding more and more scientific evidence that minds are in fact joined. This has huge implications for our creativity, for problem solving and for relating to each other. (For more information, see my article, Quantum Physics and the Mystics.)

So, how can this help you live your day-to-day life? It means that all your problems have a solution, that you are more creative than you thought and that a part of your always knows the right thing to do.

To experience this, starting with something small, such as a decision you need to make that doesn't have big implications, follow these steps:

Write down what your issue is and how you currently think and feel about it.

Relax and sit quietly where you won't be disturbed.

Let go of what you think the solution is. Sit with, 'I don't know'.

Let go of the desire to have your problem solved. (Attachment, as the Buddhists say, is the root of suffering. It blocks intuition.)

Forget about your problem and just imagine pure, perfect love. Perhaps think of a person or pet you love dearly and hold that thought of love in your mind.

Think of how minor your issue seems in comparison to the expansiveness of this all-encompassing love. In this state, there are no problems, everything is perfect.

When you're ready, return your awareness to the room and write down any thoughts you have about your problem. What new insights do you now have? I'm often amazed at what I come up with - sometimes it doesn't even feel like it's come from me.

If you did this exercise, you've just experienced tapping into what A Course in Miracles calls your right mind. This is the part of you that's connected to everyone else and to infinite love and wisdom (what some call God). In this place, all answers lie and fear does not exist.

Practice this regularly and you'll soon recognise that intuition is nothing to be feared but an incredible source of power that you carry with you always. Nelson Mandela realised this and knew it was something his jailers could never take away from him.

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The power behind your New Year's resolutions

What would you say is the difference between power and force? According to David R Hawkins, "Force always moves against something, whereas power doesn't move against anything at all. Force is incomplete and therefore has to be fed energy constantly. Power is total and complete in itself and requires nothing from outside. It makes no demands; it has no needs. Because force has an insatiable appetite, it constantly consumes. Power, in contrast, energizes, gives forth, supplies, and supports. Power gives life and energy - force takes these away. We notice that power is associated with compassion and makes us feel positively about ourselves. Force is associated with judgment and makes us feel poorly about ourselves." (Power vs Force, p. 132-3)

Over the last few years I've been learning to use power instead of force in my life. This is anything but easy and I have a long way to go but it's well worth the effort. A Course in Miracles refers to power as right mindedness and force as wrong mindedness. Right mindedness is anything that aligns with our true state of oneness - it leads to happiness; wrong mindedness is anything aligned with our false, or seemingly separated, selves - it leads to misery.

So, here's a practical way you can apply the concept of power and force to your New Year's resolutions. When you set a NY resolution, check in with how you feel about it:

Does your body feel relaxed and calm or tense as though somewhat stressed?

Are you excited about what you will strive for or are you worried about how you'll achieve it?

Are you going for it because it's fun and you'll grow and develop from it or to prove something to yourself or someone else?

Are you afraid something will or won't happen if you don't achieve it, eg. I won't progress in my career if I don't do this course?

Does it make you feel open, creative and inspired, or closed and perhaps even defensive?

And finally, ask yourself whether you really need to achieve this goal at all. Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing (even though that flies in the face of our Western values - hint...don't tell people you're doing nothing, they'll freak out).

Be totally honest with yourself so you don't waste time striving for something that will require force - this will only exhaust you and you won't get the results you hope for. It may even prove harmful. If you only choose goals that have true power as their source, that is, originate from your right mind, you'll have the energy of God behind you. Striving for them will give you energy and enhance your life and the lives of others.

Wishing you a peaceful, happy and successful New Year!

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Uncovering the much needed strengths of introverts

Introverts are physiologically different from extroverts. Our brains are wired differently, the chemicals that predominate in our bodies are different and our nervous systems are wired differently.

For introverts, normal day-to-day life is more stimulating than it is for extroverts due to this different physiology. In our normal, resting state we are more aroused than extroverts so it doesn't take as much further stimulation (whether this be external such as noise, or internal such as worry) before we get to the level of 'too much'. At 'too much', we don't operate at our best.

Extroverts, on the other hand, need more stimulation to operate at their best. So, in the corporate world, with its very high level of stimulation, introverts are not always operating at their best which, unfortunately, is what others see. But extroverts are at their best in these environments which again, is what others see. Add to this extroverts naturally making themselves more visible and it's easy to see how introverts are often unseen, passed over for promotion, do less well in job interviews, receive poorer performance reviews and are often found working below their level of competence. Extroverts see them as not confident, lacking self-esteem and generally not being as capable as their extroverted peers.

Also due to their different physiology, when presented with opportunities, introverts are more likely to take a cautious approach and need to think about it first whereas extroverts' natural inclination is to grab the opportunity and think about whether they can actually do it later. This leads to introverts missing out on more opportunities and the development these bring.

It makes a world of difference to have a manger who understands his or her introverted team members and can coach and advocate for them. Such a manager will give introverts a fairer rating during performance reviews and is more likely to encourage them to take on development challenges that they otherwise would avoid such as running a workshop on a topic they're familiar with.

Unfortunately, with more extroverts in managerial positions, there is a huge lack of understanding of introverted staff members and their invaluable strengths. Many introverts also don't know their own strengths, having been brought up in an extrovert culture that tells them there's something wrong with them.

I'd highly recommend that all introverts, and all managers, parents and teachers of introverts, read the book, The introvert advantage: how to thrive in an extrovert world, by Marti Olsen Laney for some truly enlightening insights into the differences between introverts and extroverts. She also discusses in detail how to bring out the highly valuable and sorely needed strengths of introverts whether this is yourself, your team member, your child or your student. The world would be a better place if everyone's strengths were seen and valued - let's all play our part to make this happen.

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Everything's okay just as it is

Before meditating this morning I was feeling a little down and demotivated from mulling over a project that hadn't worked out. I wanted to shift out of my negative mood so, while doing some EFT tapping on the issue, I asked my intuition for a message to help me see this differently. Here's what I received:

'Just because it looks to you like it didn't work out, that doesn't meant it didn't. You can only see such a tiny portion of what's happening that it's foolish for you to judge whether something has 'worked' or not. All you need to do is what you love doing and leave the rest to the infinite intelligence who will make everything happen exactly as it should. Things always work out exactly as they should even if it doesn't look that way to you.'

This made me feel lighter and happier so I carried on with my day. During the day, I came across the following quote by Jon Kabat-Zinn that seemed to add to the message I received that morning:

'Many are the lives of men and women unwritten, which have nevertheless as powerfully influenced civilisation and progress as the more fortunate Great whose names are recorded in biography. Even the humblest person, who sets before his fellows an example of hard work, honesty, love and purpose in life, has a present as well as a future influence upon the well-being of his fellow human beings; for his life and character pass unconsciously into the lives of others, and propagate good example for all time to come.'

Postscript: After writing this blog I found the following quote from A Course in Miracles, "Put yourself not in charge of this, for you cannot distinguish between advance and retreat. Some of  your greatest advances you have judged as failures, and some of your deepest retreats you have evaluated as success." (T-18.V.1:5-6)

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Christmas shopping mindfulness practice

Over the last few weeks I've been undertaking training in mindfulness as part of a health and wellbeing program I'm implementing at the Commonwealth Bank. Yesterday I found the perfect place to practice - my local shopping centre at Christmas time. For me, as a non-materialistic introvert, shopping at a large mall at Christmas is usually hell on earth but I may have just found a way to make it, if not enjoyable, at least useful. So here's how it goes:

Breathe - when I inevitably find myself amidst an impenetrable throng or behind people blocking an aisle as they discuss where to go next, I take some deep, diaphragmatic breaths. I notice the air coming in an out of my nostrils, my belly rising and falling. Breathing deeply gives the body a signal to calm down.

Relax - I slow my walking pace (a challenge in itself) and focus on letting go of the tension from my individual muscles, particularly neck and shoulders.

Surrender - I give up the notion that I can get in and out of the shopping centre as quickly as I normally would and accept that 'it is what it is' at this time of year. God, grant me the serenity to accept what I can't control - right now!

Gratitude - I remind myself to be grateful that I have money in my pocket, wonderful friends and family to buy presents for, and that I live in such a prosperous country with so many choices. (Also that I don't have two screaming kids in tow.)

Love - Jesus' central message was love. Thinking loving thoughts is scientifically proven to increase your mental and physical health. So think of someone or something you love, send those loving thoughts to all around you and feel your stress reduce as the love hormone, oxytocin, kicks in.

So the next time you find yourself in a stressful situation, give these simple mindfulness tips a go - it might just save your sanity.

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Remember to forget to judge

Every day we're judging each other for a hundred different things - hair, dress, race, manner of speaking, expressed emotions, behaviour, the list goes on and on. But what if we forgot to judge?

Yesterday, I had an indepth conversation with a colleague where she opened up to me about a highly personal experience she had been through. This lady has been to hell and back but no-one at work knows. If they did know, it would explain a great deal such as why she sometimes gets upset over small things, why she is more susceptible to stress than others and why she may occasionally react with anger.

A Course in Miracles says that if everything were known it would be impossible not to forgive. We would completely understand where others are coming from so would have no need to judge and condemn. So when you find yourself judging another, remember that they have a backstory that you know little or nothing about, even if you think you know them well. Withhold your judgement and extend love instead - this is the essence of compassion and forgiveness. I guarantee it will be the beginning of more positive interactions  and they're the moments happiness is made of.

Oh, and remember to apply this to yourself too!

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The value of being unproductive

If you want to know how to squeeze more productive time out of your day there are thousands of books, blogs, articles, tweets and Facebook posts telling you how to do it. But being productive can become an unhealthy obsession, evidenced by being unable to sit still, unable to focus on one thing at a time, unable to pay attention or waking at 3 am unable to sleep because of the productivity that continues in your head.

Here's another way to think of it:

Being unproductive is often the result of procrastination. But we procrastinate for a reason. Instead of chastising yourself and increasing your guilt over not being productive, how about taking time out to sit quietly and examine your mind for reasons why you are avoiding doing what you know you should be doing. Perhaps you feel the work is not meaningful or you simply don't like the task at hand or maybe it’s a task that's keeping you from doing what you feel is your true calling. Whatever the reason, uncovering it through 'unproductive' reflection time can be immeasurably valuable. It gives you information you otherwise wouldn't have which then allows you to find a solution and move forward.

Human beings are not designed to be on 24/7. Thank goodness for the mindfulness revolution that is infiltrating offices around the world. More people are learning about the benefits of sitting still for 5-10 minutes a day, relaxing the body, doing some diaphragmatic breathing and focusing on the air going in and out of their nostrils - and nothing else. That is, the benefits of being unproductive. The scientifically proven benefits include:

Reduced blood pressure

Greater creativity

Lower resting heart rate

Reduced perception of pain

Improved problem solving ability

Lift in mood

Improved memory

Need I go on? I could but I won't - Google it

So the next time you're feeling angry or guilty about being unproductive, let it go, relax, smile and make the most of it - it's good for your health!

[meganchambers1]

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