workin' on my night cheese

obsessed with food, tv, etc. tendency to rant. easy to talk to when i'm not armed.

[lheartlondon]

[everybidenjusthavegoodtime]

mark, my words. *mark brings me my dictionary* thank you mark

[junkzone]

[megangracemae]

headline of the year

[official-sovietunion]

decode your teen's texts

[megangracemae]

lmao: lenin, mao, and others

brb: bringing rad bolsheviks

kmrc: karl marx was really cool

ittiu: i think trotsky is underrated 

rtcm: reading the communist manifesto 

pilsalbway: personally i liked stalin better, what about you?

[imagineguyfieri]

Imagine Guy Fieri performing at the Grammy’s. His performance is him eating an entire suckling pig while “All Star” by Smashmouth plays on repeat in the background.

[lubricates]

"come out with me tonight"

"there is free food"

[mediumyikes]

I’m home alone with the tv repair man

Im no fool, there is only two possible outcomes of this scenario

porn or murder

[mediumyikes]

Apparently there was an unforeseen third outcome where he fixes the tv and then leaves

[thedoctor-will-save-us]

[megangracemae]

PIXAR, 1995: what if toys had feelings

PIXAR, 2003: what if fish had feelings

PIXAR, 2015: what if emotions had feelings

[chrishallbeck]

[tastefullyoffensive]

(comic by Chris Hallbeck)

[everybidenjusthavegoodtime]

give a man a guitar and he’ll play for a day, teach a man guitar and today is gonna be the day that they’re gonna throw it back to you

[moomoobooboo-deactivated2020102]

I swear to God I am so tired of this meme. You guys need to leave Wonderwall alone, seriously by now you should’ve somehow realized what you gotta do

[sandandglass]

Headline: Tumblr users compete for who can come up with the most disinterested Super Bowl joke

[johnlarens]

Not all Americans:

• are fat • like McDonald’s • like meat • drink coffee

All Americans:

• PouR THEIR TEA IN THE BOSTON HARBOR

• HAVE A PET EAGLE

[sigmahatesyou-deactivated202512]

This is not even a little bit true. I am an American, and I don’t have A pet Eagle. I have 13, one for each of the original colonies, as do all True Americans.

[mrsmelchiorgabor]

the year is 2053. a girl lays on her bed wearing vintage ugg boots. ‘I was born in the wrong generation’ she sighs as she listens to taylor swift and cries over a one direction poster.

[americanhate]

some kids are actually gonna be like this you do realize that

[venice-qveen-deactivated2016122]

this shakes me to my very core

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

(previous)

[commanderholly-deactivated20180]

[textpostsandcats]

being a pizza delivery driver is great because literally no one is disappointed to see you

[chuabaka]