how am i supposed to embrace change if i cant even order something different from mcdonalds
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
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Not today Justin

tannertan36
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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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titsay
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occasionally subtle

if i look back, i am lost

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@textpostsandcats
how am i supposed to embrace change if i cant even order something different from mcdonalds
my fuckass cat: *eats pieces of plastic and chokes on them but continues to eat them*
me: literally you dont have to do that
my fuckass cat: someones gotta
excuse me?? this cat owes me an explanation
cat: meows from the other side of the house
me: WHAT
cat: continues to meow
me: IM IN THE LIVING ROOM
if you didn’t know stuff about humans you would think they get mad at the weirdest stuff
like one human raises their thumb to another human
that’s good, humans like that
one human raises their middle finger to another human
humans do NOT LIKE THAT
humans think that is a BAD FINGER
don’t you DARE raise that specific finger at me
any other finger is ok just not that one
Anthropology will be the hard elective in alien school.
“Is the middle finger weaponized? Does it spray a venom perhaps” “No, student Xeepzorp, it is frail and harmless like the others” “Fascinating”
nothing is more satisfying than someone walking right past ur hiding spot in hide and seek
how old are you
“thatkilljoy” living up to the url i see
SLOW MOTION PUPPY by BuzzFeed BFF
I just traded my neighbour a jar of raw honey for his parakeet’s corpse.
It is also worth noting that the only reason I have so much raw honey is because I made a dress for a beekeeper’s daughter.
And that I need the parakeet bones to make a necklace for the woman who fixed my antique cello.
And that I got the cello as payment for juggling at a child’s birthday party.
When did my life get this weird?
your life is a fucking sidequest
his garden is going 2 be lovely
what’s the cheapest meat?
deer balls
because they’re under a buck
when u call for ur cat n u hear the lil pap pap pap of their feet as they come to u
reblog if u agree
Reasons I relate to cats
don’t touch me
wait, no, come back, i need snuggles
that’s enough snuggles
i want to be near you, please don’t leave me alone
tch, it’s not like i happen to be in the same room as you all the time because i miss you
“i got wet. this is the worst thing that’s ever happened”
“why is this door closed? this door doesn’t need to be closed”
“i need a nap.” “didn’t you just wake up 2 hours ago?” “yes but i could sleep for a week”
(hisses)
“i want food”
“but not this food”
(wanders around)
You’re putting way too much faith on me. If you slip we’re both screwed and that’s not how I wanna die.
Well, first of all, you’re using Internet Explorer.
Helping adults on the computer (via 50shadesofhella)
How did people first figure out that it was cicadas that make this noise? I could see that taking a long time. Were there just like a thousand years where people were like “yeah, the trees are screaming. They do that in the summer.”