text posts and cats

i'm dan i'm 20 i'm english sc_online_i(358318,"ffffff","000000"); Free Tumblr Users Online Counter click home just cats just text not acutally cats but still pretty cute me archive ask FORMERLY 'MYSEXYENGLISHLORD'

[bastille]

how am i supposed to embrace change if i cant even order something different from mcdonalds

[textpostsandcats]

my fuckass cat: *eats pieces of plastic and chokes on them but continues to eat them*

me: literally you dont have to do that

my fuckass cat: someones gotta

[fluffytherapy]

[owlskitty]

excuse me?? this cat owes me an explanation

[textpostsandcats]

cat: meows from the other side of the house

me: WHAT

cat: continues to meow

me: IM IN THE LIVING ROOM

[adamusprime-deactivated20180809]

if you didn’t know stuff about humans you would think they get mad at the weirdest stuff

like one human raises their thumb to another human

that’s good, humans like that

one human raises their middle finger to another human

humans do NOT LIKE THAT

humans think that is a BAD FINGER

don’t you DARE raise that specific finger at me

any other finger is ok just not that one

[tkingfisher]

Anthropology will be the hard elective in alien school.

[fieldbears]

“Is the middle finger weaponized? Does it spray a venom perhaps” “No, student Xeepzorp, it is frail and harmless like the others” “Fascinating”

[chromeofficial]

nothing is more satisfying than someone walking right past ur hiding spot in hide and seek

[thatkilljoy-blog]

how old are you

[darmani-remade-blog]

“thatkilljoy” living up to the url i see

[dutchstore]

SLOW MOTION PUPPY by BuzzFeed BFF

[c3rvida3]

I just traded my neighbour a jar of raw honey for his parakeet’s corpse.

It is also worth noting that the only reason I have so much raw honey is because I made a dress for a beekeeper’s daughter.

And that I need the parakeet bones to make a necklace for the woman who fixed my antique cello.

And that I got the cello as payment for juggling at a child’s birthday party.

When did my life get this weird?

[younger-than-the-soul]

your life is a fucking sidequest

[cuteanimalspics]

[stability]

his garden is going 2 be lovely

[dutchster]

what’s the cheapest meat?

[dutchster]

deer balls

[dutchster]

because they’re under a buck

[danadelions]

[darkrai3-gone-deactivated202412]

when u call for ur cat n u hear the lil pap pap pap of their feet as they come to u

reblog if u agree

[chaoticlivi]

Reasons I relate to cats

don’t touch me

wait, no, come back, i need snuggles

that’s enough snuggles

i want to be near you, please don’t leave me alone

tch, it’s not like i happen to be in the same room as you all the time because i miss you

“i got wet. this is the worst thing that’s ever happened”

“why is this door closed? this door doesn’t need to be closed”

“i need a nap.” “didn’t you just wake up 2 hours ago?” “yes but i could sleep for a week”

(hisses)

“i want food”

“but not this food”

(wanders around)

[oppasbitsh]

[dogtale-s]

You’re putting way too much faith on me. If you slip we’re both screwed and that’s not how I wanna die.

[flowerprincejess]

Well, first of all, you’re using Internet Explorer.

Helping adults on the computer (via 50shadesofhella)

[curiosityconfusion]

How did people first figure out that it was cicadas that make this noise? I could see that taking a long time. Were there just like a thousand years where people were like “yeah, the trees are screaming. They do that in the summer.”