40 Ways to Control Your Sub Partner Outside of the Bedroom
Always exercise caution and negotiate what form of control you want someone to have over you. Please do not rush into something that makes you uncomfortable.
Many of these forms of control are more extreme and appropriate only for those in trusting, long term commitments. Absent of consent these things are not appropriate and even when consensual may only appeal to a specific set of masochistic subs that crave such forms of controlling and seemingly abusive behavior.
1) Use apps to keep control of their location
2) Require them to keep a food log and report to you what they eat
3) Make them share their email, Facebook, Tumblr, or other social media account passwords with you. Set up the security questions and recovery email so that only you can reset them.
4) Keep a safe where you can lock up some of personal items as punishment
5) Plan their outfits for them. Budget what money they can spend on clothes or just do the shopping for them so they never wear clothes they pick for themselves.
6. Gain admin access to their bank account so you can track their spending.
7. Set up a protocol for their behavior in public: how they should address you, when to speak to others, what sort of eye contact they should make. Punish them in private for breaking protocol.
8. Make them wear a fitness device so you can track their activity and sleep schedule and hold them accountable to it. Set a bedtime for them.
9. Keep them locked up in a chastity device.
10. Pick out their barber or hairstylist for them. Make them groom themselves to your liking.
11. If they work outside the home, have them set up their paychecks for direct deposit into YOUR bank account. Transfer a small stipend to them to restrict their spending.
12. Keep tabs on who their friends are and what relatives they speak to on a regular basis. Intervene when there’s a relationship that isn’t to your liking.
13. Use “parental” controls whenever necessary to limit their access to pornography so they will channel their attention to You alone.
14. Set up a protocol for punishment when you’re in a public area. One code word could mean they must get to a private area like a restroom for a spanking or lecture. Another code word could mean they’ll get punished later at home.
15. Find other submissives in the BDSM community that can befriend your sub and then report back to you on their private conversations. Use them as spies to find out how your sub REALLY feels.
16. Make your sub keep a diary that you have access to so you can read their personal thoughts.
17. Order for them when you go out to eat at restaurants.
18. Say things that subtly demean then when you’re with other people, like “he can’t ever think straight” or “they’re not very good at math.” You can also tell embarrassing stories. This will make them feel flustered and keep your power dynamic balanced properly.
19. If you decide to not be monogamous, create an arrangement where only you can decide who will fuck them and when.
20. Make them wear fetish or bondage gear under their clothes when they’re in public.
21. Make them check in with you at specific times when you’re apart.
22. Control the amount of water they drink and when they get to pee. Have fun watching them squirm when you’re out in public together. If they wet themselves- laugh, pretend you don’t know them, and leave them to find a ride home on their own.
23. Make them recite mantras to themselves throughout the day such as “I am property. I will serve my owner. My body belongs to Master.”
24. Enroll them in classes such as cooking or massage therapy so that they can serve you more fully.
25. Set up a protocol for how they will refer to themselves in public and in private. They might have a different protocol for each. Make them change their name or use a nickname if you wish when in public.
26. Give them a strict daily schedule. When they wake up. When they fix you breakfast. When they exercise. When they leave for work, etc.
27. Restrict what type of access they have to transportation. For example, if they can get to work by bus, make them sell their car and not renew their driver’s license to affect their ease of getting places without your permission.
28. Find a place where you can keep them chained up, such as a basement or closet space, when they won’t be fully necessary.
29. Use punishments accordingly to control their behavior. Some subs may require physical discipline while others may just require a lecture or restriction of privileges.
30. Try hypnosis as a means of reprogramming your sub’s mind to fully surrender to you.
31. Install surveillance cameras in your home that only you have access to. Even if you don’t regularly rewatch the footage, this will be enough for fuck with your sub’s mind.
32. Keep food and other household items locked up so that the sub can only access them with your permission.
33. Try to strike feelings of jealousy in your sub when they’re slacking. Pull up Grindr and scroll through it in front of him of find another sub to fuck and tell them how AMAZING the sex was.
34. Marry them so you will be in a legally binding agreement and cement their commitment to you. Find ways to arrange the pre-nup so they’ll be at an extreme disadvantage to leave the relationship.
35. Teach them to be very complementary and respectful to you while around other people. Reward them when they sing your praises and describe what an incredible partner you’ve been to them.
36. Give them incentive and appreciation for the service they’ve done for you. This will provide extra motivation for them.
37. Tattoo or pierce them if you wish.
38. Be the head of the household who decides any major financial decisions or if you decide to move homes. Consider the sub’s input but veto it if necessary.
39. Find ways the sub can make extra money on the side for you.
40. Remind the sub that you do these things because you love him.
