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@mehnls
𓏲 mehnls, she/her, scorpihoe, 24 .⊹ ᭄᭡ ͏ ͏ ͏
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oh and just a lil reminder to make your day…
he would be into it…
GIRL WE MISSED YOU also congrats on getting your graduate program!!!
I MISSED YALL MORE and tysmmm my love i appreciate you!!!
waiting for your return 🥺
(Hey daddy by usher starts playing…)
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༶•┈┈୨ longfics ୧┈┈•༶
Cruel Affections
General Tags - Levi Ackerman/Reader, Angst and hurt/comfort
𓏲ּ𝄢 (ongoing. 126.2k words currently at ch. 20.)
Summary - Throughout your time in the Survey Corps, You and Captain Levi have never been too keen on one another. Despite loathing each other's very existence, there are moments where the chemistry between you two becomes increasingly difficult to ignore.
Your hatred for him burns in your bones, As does his, and somehow neither of you can get enough of it after realizing that it was never really hatred after all.
Inspired by Restraint by gruene. Their writing is amazing and I love the dynamic they made between the characters.
——* too long to completely post here so read more on my ao3 or wattpad!
Office Hours
General Tags - Armin/Reader, AU College/University
𓏲ּ𝄢 (ongoing. 68.8k words currently at ch. 7.)
Summary - Your senior year of college isn't turning out as well as you hoped. Between long shifts and dropping grades, you're overwhelmed.
Luckily, your teaching assistant, Armin Arlert, also known as the smartest person in the school, offers his help. It's a shame you don't really like him though.
You always questioned his 'perfect' image. The whole act just seemed too good to be true and you've always felt like there had to be more than what met the eye.
Turns out you were right all along.
——* too long to completely post here so read more on my ao3 or wattpad!
༶•┈┈୨ kofi ୧┈┈•༶
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𓏲ּ𝄢 https://www.wattpad.com/user/Mehnls
she/her | 18+ stories hello! I'm getting back into writing so please bare w me lol 2 Works, 2 Reading Lists, 244 Follow...
༶•┈┈୨ ao3 ୧┈┈•༶
𓏲ּ𝄢 https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mehnls
༶•┈┈୨ rules ୧┈┈•༶
𓏲ּ𝄢- mdni! for everyone else, please also have your age in bio when interacting with me as well!
𓏲ּ𝄢- I will only write character x female reader fics/shorts as that is what I’m used to!
𓏲ּ𝄢- please be respectful and detailed when sending any asks or requests. I will let you know whether I feel I can write for a request when asked! (see what I did there, srry I’ll see myself out…)
𓏲ּ𝄢- please be patient and bare with me for any requests or updates. I really do love writing but I don’t have as much time as I’d like to dedicate to this lil hobby of mine so I will write and update when I can!
𓏲ּ𝄢- I’m open to doing paid commissions as well, if you’re interested, just specify that in a request for me and we’ll discuss it! this will be geared more towards a request in a longfic style, atleast 3 full chapters, and you can let me know any word limits (if there are any), scenarios, character profiles/sheets, sexual content if any, etc etc.
𓏲ּ𝄢- I will not tolerate any disrespect/rude criticisms or wild inappropriate and unprovoked comments in my inbox, you will either be ignored completely or trolled if I even feel like entertaining the bs so please just save us both from the headache and be kind and normal!
𓏲ּ𝄢- this is a safe space for all. no racism, sexism, nor any and all isms and phobias will not be tolerated here. very bipoc and lgbtq+ friendly as well as i am a bi black girlie myself so let’s keep it cute and most importantly, safe, thank you. ♡
hello and welcome to my writing blog.♡⋆˚✿˖°
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༶•┈┈୨ info ୧┈┈•༶
mehnls, she/her, scorpihoe, 24 yo med student
𓏲ּ𝄢- multifandom writer, 18+ stories
𓏲ּ𝄢- currently been writing for Attack on Titan but want to start for Jujutsu Kaisen as well! I’m also open to writing for Demon Slayer!
𓏲ּ𝄢- many of my writings will contain hard kinks, so please read tags always!
frequently used tags: dubcon, extremely dubious consent, violence, aggression, angst and hurt/comfort, vaginal sex, oral sex, rough sex, hate sex, masochist/sadist, dom/sub, dom/sub undertones, degradation, degradation kink, praise kink, humiliation kink, breeding kink, dacryphilia, verbal humiliation, choking, face slapping, spanking, biting, corruption, possessiveness, power dynamics, abuse of authority, it gets worse before it gets better
༶•┈┈୨ asks + requests ୧┈┈•༶
𓏲ּ𝄢- don’t be afraid to interact with me! I love chatting with you all and it could quite literally be about anything lol <3
𓏲ּ𝄢- im pretty new to building a lil community here so as of right now asks will be open but i may hold off on actually completing any requests for now. Atleast not as soon as i receive them. Feel free to send some ideas for them anyways though! I want to write and post short stories and drabbles here in between my longfics!
…(It’ll keep me sane and away from burnout lol)
𓏲ּ𝄢- my typical writing style favors nsfw, dark themes, and hard kinks as I like a very… erotic, tough love, hot and heavy, sensual and dark, crazed I want to make violent love to you kinda tension in my work, to sum it up. (so please keep that energy in mind when reading and requesting!) however i also do love a soft devoted romance, fluff/comfort, pining, yearning, the works. Think vampiric romance and how gut-wrenching the contrast between love and light as well as darkness is. That’s my favorite genre of media so if anything i like to have a good balance of both!
Cruel Affections - Levi Ackerman x Reader
Summary: A continuation.
Notes: Chapter 4 is here! I’m going to be working on a masterlist soon to organize all the parts here, but like always, it might be easier to read the story on ao3 and wattpad right now.
Link to Chapter 3:
Summary: After what transpired between you two, things are awkward as you try to come to terms with your decisions. However, your resolve dw
Links to ao3 and wattpad:
Throughout your time in the Survey Corps, You and Captain Levi have never been too keen on one another. Despite loathin...
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapter 4.
It was inevitable, the way you yearned for his touch. Your knees buckled as you opened your legs wider for him, practically meeting his fingers every time they dipped inside you. You bit your lip, trying your best to hide the sounds you wanted to make so badly.
"Someone's excited." Levi hummed in your ear, entertained by your evident desire. Like always, he saw right through you. No matter how many times you tried to hide it, he knew you loved every part of this.
Ever since you revealed your attitude to him as a new recruit, he couldn't help but think you got off on being a brat. You were always doing shit that would get you in trouble. He liked to think you wanted someone to punish you for it, and luckily for him; he was more than willing to do so.
When you began fluttering around his fingers, indicating you were close, he pulled them out of you. "Damn tease…" You mumbled at the sudden emptiness.
You were right on the verge and was convinced you'd be able to finish yourself off without him recognizing. Of course, it was only wishful thinking. You looked over your shoulder to face him, surprised to see him sucking his fingers, tasting you.
He then cupped your face, pulling you into a deep kiss. You moaned into his mouth when he slapped your ass, grabbing hard at the flesh. You kissed him back with equal intensity, throwing your arms around his neck. His hard length pressed against your thigh. "Mm--" You breathed out as he slid his tongue into your mouth; he hummed in approval as you sucked on it.
"Get over here," Levi said, pulling you away from the kiss, a string of saliva connecting between you. He yanked you over to his desk and pushed you onto it, already tugging your shorts off before you could put yourself upright.
"I didn't get the chance to taste you last time, so be good and keep your legs open for me. Got it?" He asked, placing tender kisses on your stomach and thighs. You bit your lip at the faintness of it, nodding your head quickly as you spread them over the edge of the desk.
His soft lips ghosted over your skin, and your body tingled as he did so. Dipping between your legs, he pulled your damp panties to the side, watching your face intently as he cupped your bare mound, rubbing along your clit.
"Hah--that feels good." You sighed, watching him as he leaned lower, his cool breath fanning over the sensitive bud. He lazily slipped his tongue between your folds before bringing your clit into his mouth, suckling on it lightly.
You threw your head back as he groaned into you; the vibrations of his voice sent chills down your spine. It was overwhelming how he touched you. You whimpered when he pressed his tongue into your hole, only to lick up to your clit again, engulfing it.
"Mmph…just like that." You praised as your hands tangled in his hair, pushing his face into you as if he couldn't be closer. He lapped at you faster, tongue sucking on your clit as he hastily slipped two fingers into you again.
You yelped, bucking your hips against his face in need. His free hand had an iron grip on your thighs, keeping you in place.
He briefly came up for air, "Fuck, you taste so good." He mumbled into you, fucking his fingers into you deeper while rolling your clit between his soft lips and warm tongue.
The denied orgasm from last time left you hanging, and now it was easily building up again. Being edged wasn’t something you could handle, your body craved release and soon. You grasped the corner of the desk, needing something else to hold onto as you felt your soul being lifted. Levi was taking you there this time, and fast.
His hand locked you into place as his fingers and mouth moved faster, forcing you to sit there and take it. The pleasure made your head swim, and heat surged in your core as he greedily devoured you.
"God, Levi--Ah!" You nearly screamed as you came hard on his face, tugging his hair and pushing up into his mouth; he didn't relent, gliding his tongue over your slick folds, drinking you in.
Even after coming down from your high, he kept his relentless pace. It was for his enjoyment now, more than yours.
"P-Please, no more!" You cried out, pushing his head away from your buzzing clit, squirming under his firm hold. He slowly came to a halt, licking the remnants of your climax off of his lips.
You watched him in awe. His eyes were glazed over, seemingly far away, as he bought his fingers to his mouth once again, sucking them clean.
Seeing him like this was such a turn-on; you stared at his glistening lips when he licked them. "You made such a mess," He said before he cupped the back of your head, pulling you into a gentle kiss.
He was unpredictable. The way his touch could quickly shift from tender to threatening and back again confused you. It made you want to tear his eyes out yet submit to him at the same time; the dynamic was intoxicating. You wanted more; you kissed him back drunkenly, failing to catch your breath as he stole it from you.
His hands found your hips as he hoisted you up off the desk, making you stand on shaky legs. "Get on your knees, cadet." He ordered before pulling away from you and grabbing your shoulders, pushing you into a kneel.
You slowly processed his words; your mind was swarming after your orgasm, you were still trembling from the excitement. The sound of fabric rustling along with something long and hard nudging your lips is what snapped you out of your daze.
"Hm, I've barely touched you, and you're already fucked out of your mind. Tired already?" Levi smirked, cupping your cheeks as he stroked himself with his free hand. Your eyes widened, looking up at the thick, hard cock that was now framed in your vision.
You didn’t get a good look at it last time due to the dim lighting in the basement. Large veins were reaching up to his bulbous tip, both girth and length definitely exceeded your expectations.
No wonder you were so sore last time, you thought to yourself, mouth watering at the sight. "Well, are you just going to sit there and look at it? I'm waiting." He teased, secretly amused by your gawking despite his impatience.
At that, you opened your mouth, slacking your jaw to make room for him; you slowly took him into the back of your throat. Levi winced at the feeling of your tongue flat against his cock; your jaw was already straining around his length.
"I know you can do better than that." He said, pausing before placing both hands on your head and guiding you against him as he slowly rocked into your mouth. You began to cough, gagging around his girth, but you wanted to prove that you could, in fact, do better.
You weren't one to shy away from a challenge. So, you grabbed his thighs, stabilizing yourself as you eagerly bobbed your head forward, meeting him every time he plunged into the back of your throat.
"Ah, fuck, there you go. Just like that." Levi groaned, throwing his head back in pleasure as your mouth worked against him.
Levi was an abominable man. Since you started here, he has threatened you, hurt you, and treated you like utter trash. Somehow, it excited you though, what you were doing with him was extremely taboo, and you secretly loved every part of it.
Maybe he was right; maybe you did want him to punish you all along. Your pussy throbbed as you sucked him off; you couldn't stop it if you tried, and you tried.
He maintained eye contact with you, brows furrowing in disbelief at your sudden tenacity. You swirled your tongue around the tip, licking up his shaft whenever he would briefly pull out.
It was sloppy; the way you were slurping his cock had his eyes rolling into the back of his head. Your jaw was starting to ache, but your clit twitched at the feeling of him stuffing your small mouth.
Needing to breathe, you jerked away from him, wrapping both of your hands around his length and stroking it. You were gasping, drooling all over yourself and him.
He only allowed you a few moments to take a breath before pushing your hands away and shoving you down once more. You heaved at the intrusion, lips wrapping around his length as tears gathered in your eyes.
"This is where you belong, on your knees, pleasing me. You like it, don't you?" He groaned, watching you in awe at how graciously you were taking him down your throat. He was making you eat your words like he said he would, and it drove you crazy.
You nodded with urgency, jumping into sub-space as you moved faster and sucked harder. Looking up at him with wide eyes, you moaned around his length, the vibrations making him shiver in pleasure. "Dirty little slut." He murmured, gritting his teeth as he gave a swift slap to your cheek.
He suddenly tugged on your hair, jolting your head backward and hesitantly pulled you off of his cock. Levi was a greedy man, and he wanted to indulge in you in every way that he could. Although he could've easily come down your throat and have you swallow every drop, he wanted to fill you up again.
Ever since the last time, the image of your pretty face overtaken with pleasure as he fucked you into the bed, haunted him. Before this, thoughts of you had already tainted his mind regularly.
He would often imagine all the different ways he could get you to shut the fuck up, get you to submit. He hated that he was attracted to you, and you felt the same way about him. However, learning that you yearned for him was all he needed to know despite it all.
He never expected that the opportunity to do so would come so soon. Something in him snapped that night, and now it was all he could ever think about. Avoiding him last week did everything but make him want you less; unlike you, he didn't regret a damn thing. If anything, he was patiently waiting for the next time he could touch you, taste you, fuck you.
Was what he was doing forbidden? Yes. Would anything good come out of this? No.
He knew the answers to all those questions; hell, he spent days trying to rationalize his actions, knowing good and well that he opened a plethora of problems as soon as he put his hands on you.
He just couldn't find it in himself to genuinely care, being the selfish and crude man he was. And if that's what you thought of him, he figured he might as well live up to your expectations.
He dragged you up by your hair and threw your body over the desk, forcing you to bend over. It happened so fast; you were barely able to turn around to look at him before he clasped a hand around your neck and held you down.
"L-Levi…?" You whimpered when he rubbed himself along your slit, lining himself up with your hole as he roughly gripped your hips. He was suddenly quiet, the only response being a sharp bite to your shoulder as he abruptly thrust into your dripping pussy.
"Ngh- Levi, it hurts!" You cried out, clutching onto the desk for support as your body was jolted forward. He was so deep, your walls fluttered around his length, still trying to accommodate.
Due to your recent abstinence, your body felt extremely sensitive due to being introduced to sex again. His roughness certainly didn't help, and although you liked it, it was also overwhelming.
"Good." He mumbled into your ear, biting it; contradicting his words as he eased up a bit and snaked his arm between your legs, rubbing your clit slowly.
You instantly melted into his touch, exhaling as he slightly pulled out of you, only to sheathe himself again fully. His pace already began to pick up, causing you to rock against the desk; documents and pens fell over with a thud. It was like something switched inside you both when you were around each other.
"Ah--please, I can't." You winced as a particular thrust of his hips had his cock bumping against your cervix. The conflicting pain of this position, along with the pleasure of his fingers on your clit was tantalizing.
The sound of your pained moans and skin slapping skin as he drilled into you echoed through the room, and it made your mouth water. "You can, and you will." He grunted, smacking your ass as he clutched your waist, rocking you back and forth as he fucked into you.
"Oh, fuck you." You slurred, arching your back as his cock began to graze that spot over and over.
In response, Levi hummed, peeling your torso off of the desk and pressing you against his chest; this new angle had you seeing stars. "Oh, my- God!" You shrieked, grabbing the back of his head as you pulled him into a sloppy kiss. As your tongues intertwined, he greedily swallowed your moans.
He circled your clit faster, pounding up into you without mercy while you kissed hard. With a sigh, he lurched away from you, turning to lick and kiss your neck. You started to drool, mumbling a string of curses and his name over and over. Completely incoherent, getting fucked into oblivion.
"Yeah? Is this what you wanted, to be fucked like the whore you are?" He panted, trailing his free hand up your body and squeezing your tits. You nodded slightly, too speechless and dazed to do anything else, and you could barely make a sound when he slapped your ass again.
This was primal fucking. You've never felt anything like it before, and you desperately wanted to cum on his cock. It was dangerous, the way you were so willing, so pliable when he was inside you. You wanted to avoid being wrapped around his finger, but oh, did it feel good.
You pushed back against him, letting him take you as he repeatedly plunged into your soaking cunt. "Use your words; talk to me." He mumbled as he wrapped his hand around your throat, now timing his thrusts to be in sync with the strokes on your clit.
"Ah, Y-Yes, feels so good. Don’t stop." You whimpered meekly, breathless as he slowly squeezed your throat. Your head lolled back on his shoulder, body getting weak when he drove into you even faster.
You're left speechless now, completely fucked-out of your mind, and only capable of paying attention to the way the heat at your core is reaching its limit.
You were so close. It was all you could think about, and you doubted you'd even be able to say what your name was, if he asked. His thrusts were getting wilder, sloppier, his hands still rapidly working your sensitive bud. His breathing became raspy in your ear, and his hips started to stutter.
"Fuck, (Y/N), Cum for me." He commanded, voice strained, and your orgasm washed over you as soon as the words left his lips. "Ngh--Ah! c-cumming-" You gasped, moaning loudly before your body trembled in his arms. Your thighs shook, white-hot pleasure sent sparks down your spine as your body slumped in his arms.
"Shit." Levi groaned with a final thrust. Your spasming walls clutched down on his cock in a vice grip, forcing his own climax. He moaned against your back and neck, scattering kisses along with it as he slowly pumped you full of his cum.
He held you close to his chest, mumbling sweet nothings as he breathed out. Meanwhile, your vision started to tunnel as the remnants of your orgasm washed over you. Suddenly, your heartbeat was pounding in your ears, and Levi's words became muffled.
You opened your mouth to say something, but no words came out. Through spotty vision, you saw the outline of the desk under you, trying to brace the fall you were about to succumb to.
Unfortunately, your arms and legs quickly gave out though, causing you to collapse onto the desk face-first with a thud.
Then, nothing.
Cruel Affections - Levi Ackerman x Reader
Summary: After what transpired between you two, things are awkward as you try to come to terms with your decisions. However, your resolve dwindles when you make contact with him again.
Warnings: smut, corruption, abuse of power, degradation, angst, hurt, domsub, comfort
Notes: Hello! Here is chapter 3. I would recommend going to either ao3 or wattpad to read this story as I am still new to tumblr and it’s format lol. I am also up to chapter 8 there :))
Link to Chapters 1 and 2:
Summary: Throughout your time in the Survey Corps, You and Captain Levi have never been too keen on one another. Despite loathing each other
Links to ao3 and wattpad:
Read - Chapter 1 - from the story Cruel Affections (Levi x Reader) by Mehnls (mehnls) with 108 reads. angst, nsfw, levi...
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapter 3.
A week has passed since the incident, and somehow, you've avoided making contact with Levi efficiently. You quietly sped down the hall whenever you were near his office, finished your usual tasks before he could even tell you to, and ran out of the dining hall upon seeing him, like you were about to do now.
The moment Levi stepped into the room behind Commander Erwin and Hange, you were already rising from your seat. You hastily grabbed your finished plate and tried to figure out how to leave without everyone becoming too suspicious.
What would be a good excuse? You were pretty good at steering clear from him up until now; But out of all times, they decided they wanted to eat dinner an hour earlier tonight.
"Hey, (Y/N)! Where are you going? What's the rush?" Jean asked, confused at your sudden jumpy behavior. They all looked at you with concern. Your face suddenly felt hot as you scanned the room, following where Captain Levi sat.
"Huh? Oh, nowhere I was just- uh, the bathroom." Your voice shook; you were even more self-conscious, knowing that they knew something was off. Armin's eyes followed yours as they fell in Levi's direction.
"Is it Captain Levi? What'd he do now?" Armin questioned, frowning with pity for you. What could you possibly say? It’s nothing, we fucked the other day, and now I don't want to be around him.
This was beyond frustrating.
"Yeah, you know how he is; he put me on night duty again." A lie. You cleared your throat, trying to appear less worried. Their eyebrows furrowed, seemingly picking up on how you weren't telling them the whole story.
"It's fine, really. I'll be right back!" You said, briskly dropping your plate off in a nearby basin and getting the hell out of there before they can interrogate you even more.
Once out of the room, you groaned, headache pain twinged at the sides of your temple. You couldn't help but feel like you were getting worked up over nothing. If no one knew anything before, they would surely discover something soon because of how weird you were acting.
You might've been exaggerating a bit, but you've never felt so ashamed in your life. You wished that Levi didn't have such an effect on you. Last time, all of your hatred for him dissipated as soon as he touched you.
A touch that intended to hurt you at first, and that said a lot about your character. The fact that you were turned on by the way he pinned you down, slapped you, and choked you like some wild animal was disturbing.
If anything, this only proved how depraved you were, and you were incredibly disappointed in yourself. Were you that desperate for attention that you'd seek it from someone so vile? You didn't want to accept that as true; you made a careless mistake.
You let your guard down and allowed this man to see you in such a vulnerable state, which was the last thing you wanted. He didn't deserve to embrace you like that, to hear you calling his name, to feel you. And in the moment, you loved it, you basked in it, craved it even. It made you feel so good and appreciated for once.
It made you feel wanted , and that disgusted you.
You couldn't believe it. So many mixed emotions over such a terrible and worthless man. What were you, some moody teenager? No. You were better than that. So much better, in fact, that you could admit your faults.
Yes, you made a terrible decision, but what was there to do about it now? Nothing else could've changed things besides taking responsibility for your actions and moving forward.
So that's what you did. You went about your night, as usual, satisfied with the fact that it wouldn't happen again. It couldn't happen again. You imagined that he was going through the same thought process.
Levi had to have known he crossed a line; as soon as he put his hands on you, he made a violation. Then, he proceeded to sex you up like his life depended on it, which didn't necessarily help his case.
This mess had to have bothered him like it was doing to you. He was most likely avoiding you, too, wanting nothing more than to rewind time and go about his business instead of pursuing you that night.
You haven't heard from him since, after all. His reputation was on the line. He was a captain, a vital accessory to the Survey Corps at that; What would everyone think of him if they knew he fucked one of his cadets, soiling that honor?
To be fair, this wasn't all Levi's doing. Although you hated to admit it, you knew you were a willing participant. If you weren't mistaken, you quite literally begged him for it.
Before Levi, the last couple of times you had sex never included such an act on your part. You would rather die than have begged someone to touch you, let alone cum inside you.
You couldn't even remember the last time you gave someone the opportunity of finishing that way. Wait, was this the first?
Your heart sank at the realization. This couldn't be; you must've been under some wicked spell with how you acted that night. You weren't yourself; there was simply no way you'd ever allow a man like Levi Ackerman to have that kind of power over you.
Grabbing a towel and rag from your bedroom, you shook your head as you made your way to the washroom. A quick shower would be just the thing to calm your nerves.
It was only around the corner from the side of the women's quarters which made it convenient, especially at night like this. The showers weren't too spacious, but it was enough to get in, clean yourself, and get out, so it was better to get there early and beat the crowd.
It was only when the warm water hit you that you felt able to take a deep breath and finally relax. You were so grateful for moments like these as there weren't many ways to relieve stress in this line of work.
You exhaled, instantly feeling a bit better now that you could wash up. Soaping up your washrag, you scrubbed your skin gently. From your shoulders to your feet, you rubbed at the skin, careful not to irritate it too much.
With a sigh, you rinsed the suds off of your body and turned the water off. Stepping out of the shower, you wrapped your body in the towel and headed back to your room.
You felt much better, and you even had a bit more pep in your step. Once back in your room, you quickly dried off and pulled on your thin, almost sheer nightshirt paired with shorts. You slipped on some socks before stepping out into the hall and going downstairs.
You headed for the library. It was one of the common rooms at the base. A place you and your friends would frequent as there were many great books stored there.
A good read would keep your troublesome thoughts at bay; it was something to pass the time. You smiled to yourself at the slightest feeling of normalcy.
These were the things that kept you sane. You were nearing the front of the doors when Marco turned the corner and approached you.
"Hey, (Y/N). Sorry to bother you, but Captain Levi sent me to hand you these papers. He asked that you drop them off at his office; I think they're registration forms for the newer recruits." Marco could see how your face dropped and immediately regretted being the bearer of bad news.
Everyone knew you and Captain Levi didn't have the best relationship, and they tried to cut you some slack by covering for you, but unfortunately, there were times where Levi made requests, only for you to do.
The others figured these were times when he would want to meet with you and discuss your bad habits, so they didn't question him when he sought you specifically.
You gave him a meek smile, trying to mask your disappointment as it wasn't his fault. This was just another way Levi liked to punish you. "Oh, it's no problem; I'll drop them off now. Thanks, Marco." You said as you grabbed the stack of forms. He nodded and continued walking down the hall.
The smile on your face immediately dropped when he left, turning into a scowl as you headed to Levi's office. This was ridiculous; he was bothering you on purpose. He was the one desperate for attention, not you.
Upon reaching the door, you made no move to knock. If he wanted to be petty, you would do the same. Instead, you bent down and stuffed the papers under the door, sliding them forward until they reached inside the room.
But before you could step away, the door to his office swung open, and an arm grabbed your wrist, quickly snatching you inside.
"What the- what are you doing?" You half-yelled at the sight of Levi's face and his firm grip on your wrist.
"What does it look like I'm doing, cadet? You've spent so much time hiding from me, and I figured I should address it. I don't like being ignored, you see." He said, releasing you and crossing his arms.
"Address what? I don't have anything to say to you. What happened that night is one of my worst mistakes really-" You started to say.
"Yeah. Did you miss me?" He cut you off, tilting his head; a slight smirk tugged at the corner of his lips.
"Miss you? Wow, Captain, I didn't know you were capable of making jokes." You scoffed, entertained by his assumptions. You couldn't help but laugh at the sight of his eyebrows furrowing. It was so easy to get under his skin.
"Of course, that mouth of yours remains to be the problem here. But don't worry, you won't be laughing for long when my cock is stuffed down your throat." He smirked, stepping closer to you. Your heart fluttered at the threat, one you knew wasn't empty at all.
You backed away when he approached you, putting your hands up. "Look, I didn't come here for this. It was a stupid mistake and I don't want anything more to do with you if I can help it." You said, as civil as you could, hoping that a straightforward reaction would be the best way to go about this.
"Is that right? If you felt this way all along, why did you want me so badly? Why did you beg for it?" He looked at you expectantly, waiting for the truth. Your heart skipped a beat at how easily he read you.
No, you couldn't let him be right again. "Oh, don't flatter yourself, Levi. You think you're so special. Who's to say I wanted you so badly, hm? The opportunity was there, and I took it. You're nothing more than a quick lay, just another name I can cross off my list." You retorted, shrugging your shoulders to emphasize how little you cared.
He chuckled, seemingly offended at your notion that what transpired that night was casual and that it didn't matter to you as much as it did to him. He tried to mask his disappointment. He thought you both came to an understanding; Was he wrong?
"You really expect me to believe that, cadet? Do you think I'm blind? I've never missed the way you've looked at me, how nervous you get in my presence. Hell, you practically flew out of the dining hall earlier when you saw me. Or the way you bite your lip when talking back, and how your legs even shift a bit while I'm speaking to you, like they are now." Levi said as he stepped closer to you until your back reached the wall. His hand reached out to lightly trace the top of your thighs where your shorts were now riding up.
A familiar heat in your core began to rise, but you ignored it. You wanted to knock him off of his high horse, wanted to see the cocky smile on his face falter.
"You have such a wild imagination; none of those things; are even remotely true. Apparently, you are blind Levi, and out of touch too. Honestly, I was so disappointed that night when I had to fake it. I expected more from you but you let me down. Luckily Armin came to my room like usual, though, eager to finish the job." You laughed, licking your lips mischievously at the false memory. You were happy to see his smirk fade, obviously stunned at your words as he processed them; that is until his eyes widened, enraged.
Levi grabbed your hips and spun you around. He forcibly pushed you up against the wall, hands twisting yours behind your back, hard.
You screamed, getting swamped by whiplash when he pulled your head back only to shove it into the wall. "Shut up. Just shut your filthy fucking mouth, you lying bitch." He seethed, pressing his pelvis into your ass, and your knees almost buckled at the slight friction.
"Ah! You're such a dick." You groaned in pain, leaning the side of your face on the wall to avoid getting slammed into it again.
"I don't regret any of the choices I've made (Y/N), and neither should you. You're not fooling anybody. No one else has touched you…not like this." His palm roughly slid down the side of your hips on the emphasis of the word, breath fanning your ear as he leaned into your neck.
He was doing it again, tempting you to give in. Your chest was pushed further into the wall as he practically grounded himself into you.
He let go of your hands behind your back to place them on the wall. His hands now grabbed your ass, spreading your cheeks as he snaked an arm around your waist and slowly rubbed alongside your clothed slit.
You gasped at the sudden contact, your body was betraying you, and there wasn't a thing you could do about it. "Fuck— Captain Levi, I can't. We can't do this again." Your breath shook, head already starting to swim at his ministrations. He ignored you, moving his hand to steadily rub your clit from outside your shorts.
"This is wrong; we should've never-" You started to say, but Levi wasn't having it. He shoved his fingers into your mouth, shutting you up.
"Shh, I'm perfectly aware. What's the fun in that, though? Especially when you've already shown me what a little painslut you can be. One more time surely wouldn't hurt, hm?" He said, smirking when you began to close your legs around his hand, a failed attempt at hiding your arousal.
"Keep them open." He ordered, smacking your ass hard. You yelped, bucking away from him as you reluctantly obliged, spreading your legs further.
He moved his fingers inside your mouth, coating them in your saliva for what he was going to do next. You bit down on them, mustering up a sliver of courage to deny him.
Levi groaned but didn't pull away; instead, he quickly dug his teeth into your shoulder in retaliation. You gasped, writhing in his hold as he maintained the pressure on your sensitive nub.
"See? You like it when I hurt you, don't you?" He whispered, suckling on the bite indent he made on your skin; you whimpered in response, not being able to control the way your pelvis grounded into his hand.
It was delicious, this high, you wanted to chase it; you couldn't get enough. Your eyes started rolling back when he removed his wet fingers from your mouth, quickly diving under your shorts and underwear, and pressed them onto your clit directly.
"It's okay. It's just you and I here; I've got you." He mumbled into your shoulder before sliding his fingers into your wet cunt.
"Ngh!--Levi." You whimpered as his free hand slid up your shirt and under your bra, squeezing your tits before pinching your nipples. He breathed out, relishing in the way your soft walls clenched around his fingers, pulling him in as he dragged them out.
Your head lolled to the side as you moaned. "Open up for me, there you go. There's my good girl." He cooed at your ear, flashing a wicked grin. As he kissed up your neck and the side of your face, you became putty in his hands, yet again.
Cruel Affections - Levi Ackerman x Reader
Summary: Throughout your time in the Survey Corps, You and Captain Levi have never been too keen on one another. Despite loathing each other’s very existence, there are moments where the violent yet sexual tension between you two becomes increasingly difficult to ignore.
Warnings: smut, corruption, abuse of power, degradation, angst, hurt, domsub, comfort
Notes: Hello! I’m honestly new to posting on tumblr so bare w me pls lol. This is a fic I started and have also cross posted to ao3 & wattpad. Here are chapters 1 & 2.
Chapter 1.
Standing around the table in the meeting room, you listened intently to Commander Erwin’s words. There was barely any time to get your bearings when he called the Levi squad in to discuss the operation’s final details to reclaim Wall Rose in the Trost district tomorrow.
Honestly, you felt like an outsider at this moment. Attending this meeting as a fellow member of the Levi squad felt strange because of your recent misdemeanors.
You were currently on probation due to a couple of stupid mistakes; drinking on the job, talking back to Captain Levi, and your most recent: venturing outside the walls alone. All unfortunately done in the past month, except for talking back to Captain Levi; you did that every day.
Thinking back to the events leading to why you were now under ‘close supervision’, you bit back a laugh.
Like the time you drank on the job:
You snuck in some wine from the dining hall at the start of your shift; night watch again. Despite being a night owl, you couldn’t stay awake during this job; more like a chore. It was punishment for defying your superior, yet again. You were bored out of your mind, tasked to look out into the surrounding area from the tower to watch for titans. There weren’t any; of course, the base was a safe zone away from those beasts, hence an unnecessary task. You took a swig out of the bottle; at least the alcohol would keep you company. What you didn’t notice was Captain Levi coming in to check that you weren’t doing anything stupid; unfortunately, you were, now caught red-handed.
“What the fuck- Are you drinking?” He seethed, narrowing his eyes at you.
“No..?” you replied, the bottle still in hand.
Or your favorite pastime: talking back to Captain Levi:
It was one of the training days all scouts and leaders participated in. Under the blistering heat from the sun, you grew tired and annoyed; Levi’s slick mouth got on your nerves with every word he said. He was sparring with you to give you and the others a lesson on the importance of agility, stamina, and strength when it came to fighting. You’ll admit, he had you at your limits even though he was barely trying. After knocking your ass on the ground for the fifth time in a row, he smirked, proud of himself.
“Looks like you’re all talk and no bite, cadet. Your shoddy skills need much more improvement.” He squatted, looking down at your sprawled-out body with a grin.
“Oh, was that all you had? Makes sense; You are an old man, after all. I hope your back didn’t get too worn out, though..” You smiled up at him with fake concern, chest heaving.
His eye twitched in annoyance.
Or when you ventured outside the walls alone:
It was one of those nights again; you were feeling lonelier than usual, or maybe it was that you didn’t feel at all. You wanted to do something to distract this numbness, emotional and mental exhaustion that never let up. So you grabbed a cape, hopped on a horse, and explored beyond the base. The cold breeze hit your face, and you sighed, appreciating how it soothed you. Continuing past the forest, a dim light approaching you focused in your vision. Someone was holding a lantern, walking next to their horse as they pulled it along. Your stomach dropped upon realizing who it was; Captain Levi. He was most likely patrolling the grounds.
“C-Captain Levi! I apologize; I was only trying to get some air.” You stammered out, hoping that the excuse would appeal to him.This time you actually felt bad. You weren’t even trying to break any rules; no one ever told you going outside of the walls was a problem.
“Is that right? Coming all the way out here for some air sure is a shitty excuse (Y/N). Why is it always you?” He sighed, looking up at the sky.
“Now, let’s get your sorry ass back to your room. I don’t have time to babysit.” He tsked before you could reply, jumping on his horse.
The rest of the ride back was quiet; His disappointment was loud enough as you followed him back to headquarters.
There were so many moments like these over the years, and you could barely keep track of them. Captain Levi was always around for some reason.
There was nothing you could ever do or say without him knowing. The way he always caught you doing something stupid was embarrassing enough, but when he chastised you like a child, that’s what really irritated you.
He surely wasn’t perfect, so why did you have to be? The other members in the squad have gotten in trouble as much as you have, if not more.
The smug look on his face when he reprimanded you made you want to slap him. He was always right, and you wished he didn’t have the satisfaction to be every. Single. Time.
He despised you, and the feeling was mutual, whichever came first. Ever since you joined the Survey Corps, he gave you hell, and you’ve wracked your brain plenty of times trying to understand 'why’ to no avail.
You settled on the fact that Levi Ackerman was just a sad, pathetic man who loved to torment his cadets to make himself feel better.
“Is there something you would like to share with the rest of us, cadet?” The sound of Levi’s husky voice interrupted your thoughts, and the sudden way he was addressing you made your heart skip a beat.
Your eyes reluctantly turned up to meet his stern gaze. “S-sorry, what was that…?” You stammered out and your heart fluttered again.
Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Connie, Sasha, Hange, and Commander Erwin all turned their attention on you. The room was so silent you could hear a pin drop. God, this was embarrassing.
“Well, with that dumb look on your face, I figured you were in deep thought about the mission tomorrow. Is there anything you would like to add to the discussion or need cleared up about your role?” Levi crossed his arms as he looked at you, his face stoic as always.
Shit. You were too busy spacing out and didn’t hear a word he said. Man, you really could be so stupid sometimes.
“Oh- yes, actually. I am a bit confused. Do you mind repeating what you said, sir?” You mumbled, wanting a hole to appear in the ground and swallow you up. Levi exhaled, rolling his eyes before he spoke again.
“I said, you are to stay on the ground and protect the citizens as Eren plugs the wall while the rest of us focus on killing any titans that might be in the way.” He reiterated with a frown.
Everyone nodded, understanding the plan—everyone except for you. “Stay on the ground and protect citizens? I don’t understand Captain Levi. You and I both know that I am perfectly capable of fighting alongside the rest of you.” You retorted, not understanding why you were given the responsibilities of a new scout this time around.
Levi raised an eyebrow, dumbfounded at your ignorance. He couldn’t tell if you were joking or not, but your questioning was a waste of time; the decision to have you play offense on the sidelines instead of defense on the frontlines was already made, end of discussion.
“Oh, that’s right. I almost forgot you only understand orders if I speak to you like the child you ar-” He snapped; Commander Erwin cut him off before he could finish though, trying to defuse the tension between you two.
“What Captain Levi means, (Y/N), is that you are still on probation and therefore will not be able to participate in the battle as you normally would. Until you can prove that you can hold these responsibilities again, he will change your tasks as he sees fit. Is that clear?” Erwin calmly advised.
“Yes, Commander Erwin. Thank you.” You nodded, bowing a bit to pay your respects. You always made sure to do so, even more, when Levi was around, hoping the difference in how you regarded Commander Erwin pissed him off.
“Good.” Commander Erwin smiled, continuing where he left off as all of you now fully understood tomorrow’s plans. After the meeting ended, you felt like you could breathe easier.
You purposefully avoided Levi after that moment, refusing to even look his way at the feeling of his glare on you until the very end of the meeting. If looks could kill, you’d have died over a million times already.
Your friends saw how disheartened you looked and wanted to distract you with a trip to the dining hall. Luckily for them, you never passed up a good time, especially if it included a meal.
“How are you feeling about tomorrow Eren?” Mikasa asked softly, concerned. She was so sweet, and the way she was protective over him was adorable. Eren must’ve been blind; everyone knew Mikasa loved him.
All of you agreed that they would be a great match, everyone besides Jean at least. You wished someone looked out for you like that.
“Of course I am. I won’t fail; I’ll do anything it takes to eradicate the titans!” Eren announced, tightening the grip on his spoon as he began shoveling even more soup into his mouth.
If it was one thing Eren was good at, it was that his determination never faltered, even if it was pretty cringe-worthy at times. Jean immediately burst into laughter at the look on his face, followed by Connie, then Sasha; now everyone was laughing.
“Shut up, horse face! What would you know about fighting titans? Mikasa has more kills than you.” Eren teased, a huge smirk on his face.
“Duh, Mikasa has the most kills out of everyone here, you idiot.” Jean snickered, shaking his head. Eren just ignored him, shrugging his shoulders as he continued chowing down.
You, Armin, and Mikasa smiled awkwardly, seemingly getting some second-hand embarrassment. These two fighting like brothers was always so entertaining. You took a bite of your bread dipped in the potato soup, amused.
Connie was still cackling like a hyena even when everyone quieted down, turning back to their meals. He suddenly stopped when he realized his bowl was no longer in front of him.
“Hey! What the- Sasha, you pig!” He shouted, pointing at Sasha. You all turned your heads in her direction. There she was, gobbling down Connie’s soup and bread so fast it was leaking down her mouth at the sides.
You were the one who burst into laughter now, tears formed in your eyes at how chaotic they all were. At that, everyone laughed, even Connie, as he snatched his half-eaten soup and bread back.
“You’re all so funny; I love you guys.” You sighed, smiling as you caught your breath. Your stomach hurt now, but it was worth it.
“Ah, it’s nice to see you in a good mood again (Y/N).” Armin beamed, his soft blue eyes shining. He was always so sweet, and you knew he liked you. You wanted to think you’d give him a chance in another life where you didn’t have to be afraid to lose anyone you loved.
This world was too hellish for romance though, the fear of losing any more of those you held close to your heart kept you single.
You gave him a big smile, softly nodding your head. “Yeah (Y/N), Don’t worry about Captain Levi or your probation. You’ll do great tomorrow, and he’ll have no choice but to see your worth on the team.” Eren chimed in, eyes wide with joy. He was great at giving pep talks, giving a helping hand or shoulder to cry on to anyone who needed it. You admired that.
Soon, they all started complimenting you, wanting to make you feel better about yourself. At this point, they all noticed how often Levi would chastise you, whether it was with his harsh words, giving you more chores than the others, or making you train to the brink of passing out.
No one knew why of course; hell, you didn’t even understand it. However, their kind words would always inspire you and back you up, making you want to stand up to Levi, uncaring if he had a problem with it.
“Thank you all; You have no idea how much it means to me.” You gleamed, fully feeling motivated for tomorrow’s expedition. You were going to prove yourself to Levi; no matter what it was going to take, you would show him you were worthy of being a soldier in his squad, and he would have no choice but to end your probation.
After dinner, you walked back to your room, satisfied and ready for bed. Although your body was tired, your mind had different plans. Your brain was overwhelmed with tomorrow’s agenda.
You were always nervous the night before an expedition, and it couldn’t be helped no matter how many pep talks or words of encouragement you were given. You were sure the others could relate as well; it was highly unpredictable; what would happen? Were there enough resources? How many casualties would there be?
Some time had passed, and your eyes were still glued to the ceiling, unable to sleep. You sighed in frustration, pulling off your covers to do something you knew would put you to sleep. Your hands slid under your nightdress and settled in between your legs.
You were sexually frustrated, touch-starved even. Despite your resolve to steer clear of romantic pursuits, you craved intimacy. You weren’t a virgin, but you haven’t been with anyone since you joined the Survey Corps.
There just wasn’t enough time or energy for personal matters like that here. Being in a relationship would only make you weak.
There were too many sacrifices to be made, too much death in this line of work; caring for someone romantically would scare you, having platonic relationships worried you enough.
You thought back to Armin earlier; he was such a sweetheart. He was handsome, kind, and intelligent; All great qualities, but you couldn’t help but see him only as a friend at the mere thought of him dying.
As your fingers ghosted over your clothed clit, Levi’s face came to mind. You hated that you were attracted to him, despite how cruel he was to you. His dominant nature made you wet, if only it weren’t so extreme towards you.
With him being your captain, along with the fact that you despised him, it was easy to fantasize about him. Having sex with him would never happen, so what was the harm in indulging in the idea a little?
You moved faster, dripping at the mere thought of him. Imagining what he looked like shirtless, the things he would say to you with that nasty mouth of his.
The thought of his usual degrading words while inside of you had your back arching against the bed. He had to be a good fuck. With how angry he was all the time, you could only hope sex with him would be as intense; you couldn’t imagine it would disappoint.
Your orgasm came suddenly, mind blanking as you gasped, pussy throbbing at the immense pleasure. Catching your breath, your body still twitched at the remnants of bliss, and you slumped against the bed. With an exhale, you laid on your side and closed your eyes; sleep finally washing over you.
“If you don’t want to die, think!” Captain Levi shouted over his shoulder at everyone before launching himself into the air, immediately identifying some titans along the wall and slicing their napes effortlessly. Tons of titans were already flooding into the city, even more so at the sight of Eren’s titan.
Your heart pounded at the exploding sound and yellow thunder crackling in the sky, signs that Eren transformed again. So far, so good, if you could even say that much.
As soon as you had the thought, Eren raised his fist at Mikasa, punching the roof of a house, attempting to attack her. Luckily, she jumped away and rolled over, dodging in the nick of time.
Rico raised a flare gun into the air, ready to notify everyone that the mission to retake the wall was a failure due to Eren’s erratic behavior. Your heart almost stopped at the loss; however, Mikasa and Armin were able to get through to Eren before she could pull the trigger.
There was only time to move forward, and the plan would have to proceed no matter what. Eren seemed to be back in control of his titan form, now picking up the huge boulder and carrying it to the hole in Wall Rose, thankfully back on track.
Citizens clamored around, watching in shock as Eren’s large feet made the ground vibrate with each step he took towards the wall. “What is that monstrous thing!” One woman screamed, shielding her child’s eyes from the terrible sight. “We have to get out of here; we’re all going to die!” Another man shrieked, frozen in fear.
“Everyone, please try to remain calm! We are handling this to the best of our abilities. I will ensure your safety as long as you stay in this area, shielded by these houses, understood?” You announced. You were also nervous, but you had to hide it from them.
They all nodded slowly, although still scared to death. It was all going to be okay, though. There was no other option. You would put your life on the line for all of them if need be; you weren’t going to let anyone die.
You looked back to the scene, tensing up at how many titans were now tracking behind Eren, wanting to attack him. You watched as everyone fought.
Oh, how badly you wished to assist them. They were doing their best, cutting down titans, efforts being for naught as they kept tumbling in.
At the front of the wall, Ian and Mitabi abruptly screeched. Both were in a titan’s grasp, slowly being bought up to their foul mouths. Your eyes widened, scanning the area.
There was no one close enough to assist them; everyone else already held up where they were, killing the last of the beasts. Eren was almost there. He was so close; the only titans near him were the ones Ian and Mitabi were fighting off.
You had to get in there.
No! - you were under strict orders to protect the citizens instead of getting on the field. Someone else would help them; they had to. Right…right!?
What? Who gives a fuck! You’ll be damned if you were going to sit around and just let them die. You couldn’t tell if anyone else would get to them in time.
So, you moved, running with a speed you never knew you possessed and maneuvering into the air before you could think any longer.
Sprinting and jumping off of one last roof in a blind rage, you pulled your blades out, screaming as you dug them into both of the titans’ napes simultaneously.
There was no chance to process what happened as you heard a boom ringing in your ears, followed by the sound of a flare gun and cheering.
It was Eren; he plugged the hole in the wall!
Wall Rose was sealed, a weight was lifted off your shoulders as you looked up at the sky, seeing green powder sprayed across it. Mission successful.
You exhaled, adrenaline beginning to wear off, and you looked over your shoulder to see that Ian and Mitabi braced their falls. They were safe, equally shaken up, yet ecstatic that Trost district was saved.
You ran over to them. Their arms reached out, pulling you into a tight hug. Cheering and crying tears of relief, as did you, relishing in the fact that there were no casualties and it was a great success, there hasn’t been one like this in so long.
A pause. You felt like someone was staring at you. Through teary eyes, you blinked up to see Captain Levi watching you, his expression unreadable.
Cruel Affections - Levi Ackerman x Reader
Summary: Throughout your time in the Survey Corps, You and Captain Levi have never been too keen on one another. Despite loathing each other's very existence, there are moments where the violent yet sexual tension between you two becomes increasingly difficult to ignore.
Warnings: smut, corruption, abuse of power, degradation, angst, hurt, domsub, comfort, major dubious consent
Notes: Hello! I’m honestly new to posting on tumblr so bare w me pls lol. This is a fic I started and have also cross posted to ao3 & wattpad. Here are chapters 1 & 2.
Chapter 1.
Standing around the table in the meeting room, you listened intently to Commander Erwin's words. There was barely any time to get your bearings when he called the Levi squad in to discuss the operation's final details to reclaim Wall Rose in the Trost district tomorrow.
Honestly, you felt like an outsider at this moment. Attending this meeting as a fellow member of the Levi squad felt strange because of your recent misdemeanors.
You were currently on probation due to a couple of stupid mistakes; drinking on the job, talking back to Captain Levi, and your most recent: venturing outside the walls alone. All unfortunately done in the past month, except for talking back to Captain Levi; you did that every day.
Thinking back to the events leading to why you were now under 'close supervision', you bit back a laugh.
Like the time you drank on the job:
You snuck in some wine from the dining hall at the start of your shift; night watch again. Despite being a night owl, you couldn't stay awake during this job; more like a chore. It was punishment for defying your superior, yet again. You were bored out of your mind, tasked to look out into the surrounding area from the tower to watch for titans. There weren't any; of course, the base was a safe zone away from those beasts, hence an unnecessary task. You took a swig out of the bottle; at least the alcohol would keep you company. What you didn't notice was Captain Levi coming in to check that you weren't doing anything stupid; unfortunately, you were, now caught red-handed.
"What the fuck- Are you drinking?" He seethed, narrowing his eyes at you.
"No..?" you replied, the bottle still in hand.
Or your favorite pastime: talking back to Captain Levi:
It was one of the training days all scouts and leaders participated in. Under the blistering heat from the sun, you grew tired and annoyed; Levi's slick mouth got on your nerves with every word he said. He was sparring with you to give you and the others a lesson on the importance of agility, stamina, and strength when it came to fighting. You'll admit, he had you at your limits even though he was barely trying. After knocking your ass on the ground for the fifth time in a row, he smirked, proud of himself.
"Looks like you're all talk and no bite, cadet. Your shoddy skills need much more improvement." He squatted, looking down at your sprawled-out body with a grin.
"Oh, was that all you had? Makes sense; You are an old man, after all. I hope your back didn't get too worn out, though.." You smiled up at him with fake concern, chest heaving.
His eye twitched in annoyance.
Or when you ventured outside the walls alone:
It was one of those nights again; you were feeling lonelier than usual, or maybe it was that you didn't feel at all. You wanted to do something to distract this numbness, emotional and mental exhaustion that never let up. So you grabbed a cape, hopped on a horse, and explored beyond the base. The cold breeze hit your face, and you sighed, appreciating how it soothed you. Continuing past the forest, a dim light approaching you focused in your vision. Someone was holding a lantern, walking next to their horse as they pulled it along. Your stomach dropped upon realizing who it was; Captain Levi. He was most likely patrolling the grounds.
"C-Captain Levi! I apologize; I was only trying to get some air." You stammered out, hoping that the excuse would appeal to him.This time you actually felt bad. You weren't even trying to break any rules; no one ever told you going outside of the walls was a problem.
"Is that right? Coming all the way out here for some air sure is a shitty excuse (Y/N). Why is it always you?" He sighed, looking up at the sky.
"Now, let's get your sorry ass back to your room. I don't have time to babysit." He tsked before you could reply, jumping on his horse.
The rest of the ride back was quiet; His disappointment was loud enough as you followed him back to headquarters.
There were so many moments like these over the years, and you could barely keep track of them. Captain Levi was always around for some reason.
There was nothing you could ever do or say without him knowing. The way he always caught you doing something stupid was embarrassing enough, but when he chastised you like a child, that's what really irritated you.
He surely wasn't perfect, so why did you have to be? The other members in the squad have gotten in trouble as much as you have, if not more.
The smug look on his face when he reprimanded you made you want to slap him. He was always right, and you wished he didn't have the satisfaction to be every. Single. Time.
He despised you, and the feeling was mutual, whichever came first. Ever since you joined the Survey Corps, he gave you hell, and you've wracked your brain plenty of times trying to understand 'why' to no avail.
You settled on the fact that Levi Ackerman was just a sad, pathetic man who loved to torment his cadets to make himself feel better.
"Is there something you would like to share with the rest of us, cadet?" The sound of Levi's husky voice interrupted your thoughts, and the sudden way he was addressing you made your heart skip a beat.
Your eyes reluctantly turned up to meet his stern gaze. "S-sorry, what was that...?" You stammered out and your heart fluttered again.
Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Connie, Sasha, Hange, and Commander Erwin all turned their attention on you. The room was so silent you could hear a pin drop. God, this was embarrassing.
"Well, with that dumb look on your face, I figured you were in deep thought about the mission tomorrow. Is there anything you would like to add to the discussion or need cleared up about your role?" Levi crossed his arms as he looked at you, his face stoic as always.
Shit. You were too busy spacing out and didn't hear a word he said. Man, you really could be so stupid sometimes.
"Oh- yes, actually. I am a bit confused. Do you mind repeating what you said, sir?" You mumbled, wanting a hole to appear in the ground and swallow you up. Levi exhaled, rolling his eyes before he spoke again.
"I said, you are to stay on the ground and protect the citizens as Eren plugs the wall while the rest of us focus on killing any titans that might be in the way." He reiterated with a frown.
Everyone nodded, understanding the plan—everyone except for you. "Stay on the ground and protect citizens? I don't understand Captain Levi. You and I both know that I am perfectly capable of fighting alongside the rest of you." You retorted, not understanding why you were given the responsibilities of a new scout this time around.
Levi raised an eyebrow, dumbfounded at your ignorance. He couldn't tell if you were joking or not, but your questioning was a waste of time; the decision to have you play offense on the sidelines instead of defense on the frontlines was already made, end of discussion.
"Oh, that's right. I almost forgot you only understand orders if I speak to you like the child you ar-" He snapped; Commander Erwin cut him off before he could finish though, trying to defuse the tension between you two.
"What Captain Levi means, (Y/N), is that you are still on probation and therefore will not be able to participate in the battle as you normally would. Until you can prove that you can hold these responsibilities again, he will change your tasks as he sees fit. Is that clear?" Erwin calmly advised.
"Yes, Commander Erwin. Thank you." You nodded, bowing a bit to pay your respects. You always made sure to do so, even more, when Levi was around, hoping the difference in how you regarded Commander Erwin pissed him off.
"Good." Commander Erwin smiled, continuing where he left off as all of you now fully understood tomorrow's plans. After the meeting ended, you felt like you could breathe easier.
You purposefully avoided Levi after that moment, refusing to even look his way at the feeling of his glare on you until the very end of the meeting. If looks could kill, you'd have died over a million times already.
Your friends saw how disheartened you looked and wanted to distract you with a trip to the dining hall. Luckily for them, you never passed up a good time, especially if it included a meal.
"How are you feeling about tomorrow Eren?" Mikasa asked softly, concerned. She was so sweet, and the way she was protective over him was adorable. Eren must've been blind; everyone knew Mikasa loved him.
All of you agreed that they would be a great match, everyone besides Jean at least. You wished someone looked out for you like that.
"Of course I am. I won't fail; I'll do anything it takes to eradicate the titans!" Eren announced, tightening the grip on his spoon as he began shoveling even more soup into his mouth.
If it was one thing Eren was good at, it was that his determination never faltered, even if it was pretty cringe-worthy at times. Jean immediately burst into laughter at the look on his face, followed by Connie, then Sasha; now everyone was laughing.
"Shut up, horse face! What would you know about fighting titans? Mikasa has more kills than you." Eren teased, a huge smirk on his face.
"Duh, Mikasa has the most kills out of everyone here, you idiot." Jean snickered, shaking his head. Eren just ignored him, shrugging his shoulders as he continued chowing down.
You, Armin, and Mikasa smiled awkwardly, seemingly getting some second-hand embarrassment. These two fighting like brothers was always so entertaining. You took a bite of your bread dipped in the potato soup, amused.
Connie was still cackling like a hyena even when everyone quieted down, turning back to their meals. He suddenly stopped when he realized his bowl was no longer in front of him.
"Hey! What the- Sasha, you pig!" He shouted, pointing at Sasha. You all turned your heads in her direction. There she was, gobbling down Connie's soup and bread so fast it was leaking down her mouth at the sides.
You were the one who burst into laughter now, tears formed in your eyes at how chaotic they all were. At that, everyone laughed, even Connie, as he snatched his half-eaten soup and bread back.
"You're all so funny; I love you guys." You sighed, smiling as you caught your breath. Your stomach hurt now, but it was worth it.
"Ah, it's nice to see you in a good mood again (Y/N)." Armin beamed, his soft blue eyes shining. He was always so sweet, and you knew he liked you. You wanted to think you'd give him a chance in another life where you didn't have to be afraid to lose anyone you loved.
This world was too hellish for romance though, the fear of losing any more of those you held close to your heart kept you single.
You gave him a big smile, softly nodding your head. "Yeah (Y/N), Don't worry about Captain Levi or your probation. You'll do great tomorrow, and he’ll have no choice but to see your worth on the team." Eren chimed in, eyes wide with joy. He was great at giving pep talks, giving a helping hand or shoulder to cry on to anyone who needed it. You admired that.
Soon, they all started complimenting you, wanting to make you feel better about yourself. At this point, they all noticed how often Levi would chastise you, whether it was with his harsh words, giving you more chores than the others, or making you train to the brink of passing out.
No one knew why of course; hell, you didn't even understand it. However, their kind words would always inspire you and back you up, making you want to stand up to Levi, uncaring if he had a problem with it.
"Thank you all; You have no idea how much it means to me." You gleamed, fully feeling motivated for tomorrow's expedition. You were going to prove yourself to Levi; no matter what it was going to take, you would show him you were worthy of being a soldier in his squad, and he would have no choice but to end your probation.
After dinner, you walked back to your room, satisfied and ready for bed. Although your body was tired, your mind had different plans. Your brain was overwhelmed with tomorrow's agenda.
You were always nervous the night before an expedition, and it couldn't be helped no matter how many pep talks or words of encouragement you were given. You were sure the others could relate as well; it was highly unpredictable; what would happen? Were there enough resources? How many casualties would there be?
Some time had passed, and your eyes were still glued to the ceiling, unable to sleep. You sighed in frustration, pulling off your covers to do something you knew would put you to sleep. Your hands slid under your nightdress and settled in between your legs.
You were sexually frustrated, touch-starved even. Despite your resolve to steer clear of romantic pursuits, you craved intimacy. You weren't a virgin, but you haven't been with anyone since you joined the Survey Corps.
There just wasn't enough time or energy for personal matters like that here. Being in a relationship would only make you weak.
There were too many sacrifices to be made, too much death in this line of work; caring for someone romantically would scare you, having platonic relationships worried you enough.
You thought back to Armin earlier; he was such a sweetheart. He was handsome, kind, and intelligent; All great qualities, but you couldn't help but see him only as a friend at the mere thought of him dying.
As your fingers ghosted over your clothed clit, Levi's face came to mind. You hated that you were attracted to him, despite how cruel he was to you. His dominant nature made you wet, if only it weren't so extreme towards you.
With him being your captain, along with the fact that you despised him, it was easy to fantasize about him. Having sex with him would never happen, so what was the harm in indulging in the idea a little?
You moved faster, dripping at the mere thought of him. Imagining what he looked like shirtless, the things he would say to you with that nasty mouth of his.
The thought of his usual degrading words while inside of you had your back arching against the bed. He had to be a good fuck. With how angry he was all the time, you could only hope sex with him would be as intense; you couldn't imagine it would disappoint.
Your orgasm came suddenly, mind blanking as you gasped, pussy throbbing at the immense pleasure. Catching your breath, your body still twitched at the remnants of bliss, and you slumped against the bed. With an exhale, you laid on your side and closed your eyes; sleep finally washing over you.
"If you don't want to die, think!" Captain Levi shouted over his shoulder at everyone before launching himself into the air, immediately identifying some titans along the wall and slicing their napes effortlessly. Tons of titans were already flooding into the city, even more so at the sight of Eren's titan.
Your heart pounded at the exploding sound and yellow thunder crackling in the sky, signs that Eren transformed again. So far, so good, if you could even say that much.
As soon as you had the thought, Eren raised his fist at Mikasa, punching the roof of a house, attempting to attack her. Luckily, she jumped away and rolled over, dodging in the nick of time.
Rico raised a flare gun into the air, ready to notify everyone that the mission to retake the wall was a failure due to Eren's erratic behavior. Your heart almost stopped at the loss; however, Mikasa and Armin were able to get through to Eren before she could pull the trigger.
There was only time to move forward, and the plan would have to proceed no matter what. Eren seemed to be back in control of his titan form, now picking up the huge boulder and carrying it to the hole in Wall Rose, thankfully back on track.
Citizens clamored around, watching in shock as Eren's large feet made the ground vibrate with each step he took towards the wall. "What is that monstrous thing!" One woman screamed, shielding her child's eyes from the terrible sight. "We have to get out of here; we're all going to die!" Another man shrieked, frozen in fear.
"Everyone, please try to remain calm! We are handling this to the best of our abilities. I will ensure your safety as long as you stay in this area, shielded by these houses, understood?" You announced. You were also nervous, but you had to hide it from them.
They all nodded slowly, although still scared to death. It was all going to be okay, though. There was no other option. You would put your life on the line for all of them if need be; you weren't going to let anyone die.
You looked back to the scene, tensing up at how many titans were now tracking behind Eren, wanting to attack him. You watched as everyone fought.
Oh, how badly you wished to assist them. They were doing their best, cutting down titans, efforts being for naught as they kept tumbling in.
At the front of the wall, Ian and Mitabi abruptly screeched. Both were in a titan's grasp, slowly being bought up to their foul mouths. Your eyes widened, scanning the area.
There was no one close enough to assist them; everyone else already held up where they were, killing the last of the beasts. Eren was almost there. He was so close; the only titans near him were the ones Ian and Mitabi were fighting off.
You had to get in there.
No! - you were under strict orders to protect the citizens instead of getting on the field. Someone else would help them; they had to. Right...right!?
What? Who gives a fuck! You'll be damned if you were going to sit around and just let them die. You couldn't tell if anyone else would get to them in time.
So, you moved, running with a speed you never knew you possessed and maneuvering into the air before you could think any longer.
Sprinting and jumping off of one last roof in a blind rage, you pulled your blades out, screaming as you dug them into both of the titans' napes simultaneously.
There was no chance to process what happened as you heard a boom ringing in your ears, followed by the sound of a flare gun and cheering.
It was Eren; he plugged the hole in the wall!
Wall Rose was sealed, a weight was lifted off your shoulders as you looked up at the sky, seeing green powder sprayed across it. Mission successful.
You exhaled, adrenaline beginning to wear off, and you looked over your shoulder to see that Ian and Mitabi braced their falls. They were safe, equally shaken up, yet ecstatic that Trost district was saved.
You ran over to them. Their arms reached out, pulling you into a tight hug. Cheering and crying tears of relief, as did you, relishing in the fact that there were no casualties and it was a great success, there hasn't been one like this in so long.
A pause. You felt like someone was staring at you. Through teary eyes, you blinked up to see Captain Levi watching you, his expression unreadable.
