coming to terms.

This is that moment. You are that girl.™

[mei-go]

Unemployed

I could be writing cover letters for the four or five different workday tabs open on my browser but here I am instead. I just made a batch of chocolate chip rice krispies because K is coming home today or is it because I am procrastinating? Am I not hungry for lunch or do I feel unworthy of it because I have not done productive today?

Nearly every choice I am faced with paralyzes me. I know I cannot keep avoiding or regretting or pretending; I just wish it was easier, even a tiny bit, to know what I want to do with my life. Would I still be unemployed and unhappy if I were back in Boston? Would I be employed and unhappy in Copenhagen? See, I am avoiding the real problem in front of me, which is that I could be doing something to get a job right now, instead of pondering what if's that are not likely to happen.

[princessparadoxical]

“You don’t know anyone at the party, so you don’t want to go. You don’t like cottage cheese, so you haven’t eaten it in years. This is your choice, of course, but don’t kid yourself: it’s also the flinch. Your personality is not set in stone. You may think a morning coffee is the most enjoyable thing in the world, but it’s really just a habit. Thirty days without it, and you would be fine. You think you have a soul mate, but in fact you could have had any number of spouses. You would have evolved differently, but been just as happy. You can change what you want about yourself at any time. You see yourself as someone who can’t write or play an instrument, who gives in to temptation or makes bad decisions, but that’s really not you. It’s not ingrained. It’s not your personality. Your personality is something else, something deeper than just preferences, and these details on the surface, you can change anytime you like. If it is useful to do so, you must abandon your identity and start again. Sometimes, it’s the only way.”

— Julien Smith, The Flinch (via wnq-anonymous)

[julieterbang]

snakes.n.roses__

[seaoflove]

Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.

― Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum

[snowlattes]

turning seasons 🌸🌻🍁❄️

. .

start of new cycle of spring, time to finally posting the full sets!

[granstromjulius]

Vincent van Gogh

[weltenwellen]

Joy Sullivan, “If I Had a Hundred Lives to Live”, Instructions for Traveling West

[weltenwellen]

Joy Sullivan, from "(Luck I)", Instructions for Traveling West

[weltenwellen]

Joy Sullivan, "State of Emergency", Instructions for Traveling West

[boykeats]

[ID: poem text reading,

"We never guessed how much we'd miss the hot and sticky hugs and standing close enough to whisper. Glory of reach and grasp, nudge, nuzzle, spoon and squeeze.

I've heard the phenomenon is called skin starvation and it's the reason infants are laid naked on their mothers' breast the moment after birth. Because touch is how we greet one another in almost every language and say: you are here and I am with you and we are not alone.

I confess I've not yet learned how to translate the gorgeous shock of seeing you. Even from 6 feet, I wonder if you can feel the electricity of my skin, pining in its sweat song, so helpless and hungry: hello hello hello."

/end poem text.]

[weltenwellen]

Joy Sullivan, “Even If”, Instructions for Traveling West

[equivocations]

the Center for Wooden Boats oarhouse is a Seattle icon... to me

[evergreendrip]

[perriaeyjeve]

[sonnfecikedi]

[bayynah]

[luthienne]

Tony Hoagland, Application for Release from the Dream: Poems

[apoemaday]

Instead of Depression

by Andrea Gibson

try calling it hibernation. Imagine the darkness is a cave in which you will be nurtured by doing absolutely nothing. Hibernating animals don’t even dream. It’s okay if you can’t imagine Spring. Sleep through the alarm of the world. Name your hopelessness a quiet hollow, a place you go to heal, a den you dug, Sweetheart, instead of a grave.