Just Another Online Idiot @mellori - Tumblr Blog

"i asked chatgpt—" well i went to the river bubble and asked palamedes sextus and he told me to read his erotic fanfiction.

Sometimes I wonder if Mercymorn hadn't tried to mercy kill (hehe) Harrow that perhaps Varun might've recognised what Harrow had done as an attempt to forestall the lyctorisation of Gideon's soul, and given her a pass.

If perhaps the hordes of heralds might've failed to notice her buried beneath an inert bone cocoon at all, seeing as at that moment neither a cavalier nor a necromancer's soul was currently inhabiting her body.

Or perhaps they might’ve unearthed her unconscious body from beneath a mountain of bone and run thier flensed hands and twisted antenna over her head until they understood what she was trying to do and moved on without hurting her.

Or maybe they might've eaten her. Whose to say?

#the locked tomb #tlt #harrow the ninth #gideon the ninth spoilers #harrow the ninth spoilers

girlcommaplease

Silas Octakiseron really showed up at Canaan House as a teenager wearing decorative chain mail, looked at Our Beloved Sex Pal and said, "Your parents are related, and that's why your face looks like that. You earned your job by demonstrating skill, like a loser. Your cavalier is an animal, and not in a good, obedient way like my substantially older nephew. Have fun with the bone dykes. Silas out."

wet-rat-enthusiast

Imagine being Magnus in this situation. You're a whole-ass married adult. You are 38 years old. You wind up at this shindig with like 20 hormonal teenagers all trying to out-scheme each other and you just want to cook and tell jokes. Everyone else is vying for immortality and you want to host a dinner party to celebrate you and your wife's anniversary. You wind up in a friendly duel with this mute edgelord. She is wearing a full hooded robe, sun glasses, and skull facepaint. You wonder if she maybe wants to at least lose the sunglasses before fighting you. She shakes her head.

Yeah alright. She's gotta posture. Good show. That'll convince the other insane teenagers that she's cool. "Well done."

Somewhere between 14-15, Camilla Hect and whoever passed for the closest thing to her best friend at the Swordsman's Spire ambushed, wrestled into submission and held down Palamades so that she could shave the sad attempt at a mustache he'd been trying to grow since his 14th birthday.

They don't like to talk about it, Camilla because she feels like it was a bit too mean, Palamades because he learned some personal things about himself (and the act of being wrestled into submission) during the ordeal.

#tlt #the locked tomb #palamedes sextus #camilla hect #the sixth house

okmangos

I've read an uncountable amount of Sci-Fi and Fantasy series where the underlying message is "love is the most important thing" and I've gotta say The Locked Tomb series is the first time where I'm like "You know what? Maybe love really can save the world."

#my favourite thing about #tlt #is that the central thesis is basically #love can save the world #and if it can do that #it must also have the power to doom it #love is the most important thing #and if it is so important #then it must also be the root of the deepest and most profound suffering

nightmanatee

"you were lucky that the memory of your own cavalier did not hurt you"

#oof #ow #oochie

cherishedboxart

have you never considered ORTUS NIGENAD?

theriverbeyond

re-listening to this bit in GtN and he might be an ass about it but u can't deny that Silas Oktakiseron was THE realest dude at Canaan House bc has anyone ever been so frank with Gideon before or since this moment

#silas octakiseron did nothing wrong

lololopo64

Merry Christmas

blondie-drawings

mama a Body behind you 😰 // pt1/pt2/pt3

000vn0mn

they should invent Gideon nav that is alive.

#jod #half distracted and hungover between booty calls #reading a report from an admiral he definitely didn't promote because of a particularly good blow job #about the recovery of his daughter's corpse

Jod, sulking in the middle of another negotiation with the remains of a BoE planetary leadership cell after winning the latest bout of war-crime one-upmanship on this particular planet, trying to negotiate their surrender when he cracks out his Obama impression and nobody laughs because Barack Obama died 10,027 years ago.

#the locked tomb #tlt #jod #john gauis

dangerouslyhungryprocrastiner

I really really hope that if there ever is tlt tv show made, that it will spawn a good amount of newcomers that will ship Gideon and "Dulcinea" just so i can watch them fight with the newcomer griddleharks for weeks until the final episode of season 1 would drop, and both teams would be left in shambles in the end.

....i often think about this

kinkajouonthebrain-deactivated2

every locked tomb character is one of the characters of all time but ortus nigenad really is The Character Of All Time my guy brought a fanfiction to the gun fight AND WON

#hell yeah #all my homies love ortus nigenad #he me fr #but in the book #instead of reading it

If you think about it, Harrow would hate being at the club.

#tlt #the locked tomb #harrowhark nonagesimus #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #nona the ninth #gideon would love it #until she strikes out with the fifth girl in row #and realises belatedly she has had too much to drink #and that harrow's death stare is scaring everyone off #then she too would hate being at the club

chaos-has-theories

But like. Who DID teach Gideon her spelling? Which nun got the job to literally beat school learning into this hyperactive toddler? Did she ever have classes with the reverend daughter? If yes, then not many - we know Harrow mainly studied on her own and with her father. How long until the nuns gave up on Gideon? Until she was five, they presumably gave intermittent necromancy lessons. Did they stop lessons entirely when she was eight, and they realized she'd never be a nun? Or when she was ten, and there was nobody left to enforce lessons at all? Harrow wouldn't have known that that was something other children got, after all.

How deep was that dig really, when Harrow called Gideon illiterate?

#I have nothing to indicate or prove this at all #but I feel like Gideon was probably such a bad student the nuns gave up on her at “functionally illiterate”#but then Harrow started making fun of her for misreading complicated and/or unfamiliar words #so at like 12 years old she taught herself out of sheer spite #or annoyed Ortus into doing it by pestering him whenever he was trying to be alone in a library somewhere being all gothic poetry author-y #tlt #the locked tomb #gideon nav #harrowhark nonagesimus

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