I love Mello, I love chocolate. That's all.

Oh, and also I ship Meronia.

[mellos-chocolate-bar]

Mello: Did it hurt-

Near: -When I fell from Heaven? God, you're not even original.

Mello: No, when you fell from the vending machine.

Near: Wha-

Mello: 'Cause you're a snack.

Near: ...

[mellos-chocolate-bar]

Mello, talking about Near: He scored higher than me. Again.

Matt, trying to cheer him up: Ow, come on... He can't be good at everything.

Matt: Listen, I bet he's a bad kisser!

Mello: No, he's not.

Matt: What

Mello: What

[mellos-chocolate-bar]

Near: I'm doing such a great job at keeping my crush a secret.

Mello: Oi, Cotton ball.

Near:

Near: I have to gay- I mean go. I have to go.

[mellos-chocolate-bar]

"Honestly, the only straight part of me is the hair."

-Mello, at some point

[mellos-chocolate-bar]

Mello: Hey, if I dress like this it doesn't mean I'm gay.

Mello:

Mello: Well, I am gay.

Mello: But that's not the point!

[mellos-chocolate-bar]

Linda: Near, do you like someone?

Near: No, Linda, I don't care about this kind of things. Relationships are usele-

Mello: [walks in, cursing in three different languages]

Near: Oh sheep, I'm in love.

[mellos-chocolate-bar]

Near: What are you doing?

Mello: I'm eating my chocolate.

Near: [whispers] I wish I was that chocolate.

Mello: What the fuck did you say?

Near: Nothing.

[mellos-chocolate-bar]

Mello: Whoa, whoa. "Boyfriend"? I don't want to be Near's boyfriend!

Matt: What do you want, then?

Mello: I don't know. I just want to be with him, all the time. I want to hold his hand, play with his hair and make him laugh.

Matt: [sighs]

Mello: But I don't want to be his stupid, fuckin' boyfriend.

[mellos-chocolate-bar]

Mello: Do you really know how to use tarot cards?

Near: Yes.

Mello: What's my future, then?

Near: Us.

Mello:

Mello:

Near: I-I mean,,

[mellos-chocolate-bar]

Matt: Explain to me how you two got in an accident.

Near: Well, we were driving and there was a deer on the road and Mello didn't notice it. So I said "Mello, deer!"

Matt: ...And?

Near: Tell him your answer.

Mello: ...

Mello: [sighs] "Yes, honey?"

[mellos-chocolate-bar]

Near: I never considered you a rival.

Mello: Well, I never considered you at all.

Near: I-

Mello: Fuck you.

[mellos-chocolate-bar]

Mello: Don't tell Roger your mother ;)

Near: Kiss one another-

Mello: dIE FOR EACH OTHER

[mellos-chocolate-bar]

Mello: HEY, KIRA, IF YOU WANT TO HURT NEAR, YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME!

Near: O-oh, Mel-

Mello: 'CAUSE I'M STILL FUCKING MAD AT HIM, SO I'M GONNA GO FIRST.

Near: