If I had a nickle for every time one of my favorite characters from a manga/anime series was a beautiful, androgynous man that a lot of people thought was a woman the first time they saw him who is also depressed, secretly a well known public figure who uses an alias, very likely on the autism spectrum, and is well antiquated with someone they went to school with who's over the top and angry and has their first name begin with the letter "M" I would have 2 nickles.
Which isn't a lot, but it's weird it happened twice.
You were just as full of laughter, and giggles as he remembered.
"Y/n, hello."
"Congratulations on your success Nate!"
You were wearing a large sweater, ruby red. It was the same one you'd had during childhood.
Nate had a strange, fuzzy memory of being somewhere inside of the oversized thing. He tried to think back, his memories were usually so clear, but now they were murky. Maybe he had been just messing around and got mixed up. It happened when they were five. Ruby had just arrived at the orphanage.
Somehow someway them playing in the big open hall had led to him tangled in your sweater.
Slowly and silently, you let a tear roll down your cheek, expression remaining the same.
"You know it scared me a bit. You being in danger during the case I mean."
You brought a neatly manicured hand up to wipe the tear away. He followed each movement with eyes carefully, his expression remaining constant and calculating.
But on the inside, a piece of him felt unsettled by your discomfort.
"I don't know how to respond to that." It came out flatter than he intended. But most things did.
In his life Near had never really felt romantic connection. Not really even in looks. The most connection he's felt was a few years ago.
He had been watching you one day, it was the part of the day where it was time for all the kids to split into partners. Normally Near was with mello, but watari was worried about developmental issues so he wanted to switch it up.
You and Nate were tasked with solving a fake crime. And Nate was watching you take charge, silently putting the pieces together.
"Nate is so cold in here. You have goosebumps."
Back then Near didn't really like to talk unless necessary. So he just nodded, pausing his fingers on the information screen.
"Would you like my sweater?"
Again he nodded. It came as a surprise, normally he disliked asking for help. It made him uncomfortable, even though all his life he'd been spoon fed.
You'd wrapped him in your thick sweater, hoping he wouldn't forget you, and he never did.
"Y/n?" Nears hands never paused with putting his dice upon each other.
"Yes?"
"How come you don't talk with me? You clearly wish to."
"Well, god this is a little embarrassing." Your cheeks flushed, you took a breath to steady yourself.
"I just was admiring you. You are very cute."
Suddenly his back straightened. Really he wasn't used to girls using and sort of adjectives to describe him. His tummy felt warm. He twisted some of his soft hair between his fingers.
"Oh." Bashfully, near looks down at the hardwood floors.
"Thanks you y/n."
Slowly he meets your eye, bringing a delicate pair of fingers to grip the front of your sweater. "Near?"
"Oh sorry I... must have zoned out for a second. That was weird."
He began to pull away, but you gripped his hand and pulled him closer. "No it's- it's fine." All you wanted was to pull him closer. Maybe it was subconscious, but you had pulled a little tighter than needed.
Nears wide eyes were on yours.
He was barely shuffling on his knees, he needed this connection. He'd felt so empty, finally now he could feel something.
"You look tired. Do you want to lay on me." It came out a little stiff but you couldn't help it. Nate is always so hard to read. Always unpredictable.
Slowly he drags his fingertips down your sleeve. Never pausing, until they reached yours. Under his soft cotton shirt his chest was rising a bit quicker. His eyes still upon yours he nodded.
"To my room y/n."
You could hardly believe how soft his hands were. "Ok yes." Basically jumping at opportunity.
Before he left for the case you remembered his old room, the was he had a thick mattress on the ground in the corner, a ton of blankets and pillows for it to resemble a nest.
The two of you padded down the soft rug in the hall. The long hall his door was in. It was the plainest door in the whole building.
He let his fingers clasp the silver knob.
It was all the same.
The large white curtains on the ginormous window, and his cute perfect little nest.
You felt his fingers leave yours, and he turned to slowly close the door back up.
You take the liberty to start walking to his nest. You could see him massaging his fingertips as he watched you sink into the plush blankets.
"Come here, would you like to cuddle and nap? You seem sleepy."
You let your palm pat next to you.
For a fourth time his eyes remain on yours, and he nods.
He looked like tired kitty, your heart throbbed. Near was in a daze, his tummy felt all funny and warm. He'd never felt this way. He knew it was happiness maybe he'd just been yearning for it since the beginning of Kira case.
He was so cute as he crawled in. Hesitantly, Nate gripped the sides of your sweater and laid on your torso, pushing you back into a ride of pillow in the nest.
You let your fingers stroke through his hair.
"Are you going to sleep. I don't want to wake you." Your voice caught on the last word. Nate had put his face in your neck, slightly awkwardly.
"Hm." H just hummed and thought for a second. The longer your fingers moved in his hair the less tense he was.
"No. I just was to be with you y/n."
The grip he had on your sides tightened, you could feel his breath on your hair.
"Finally." Letting your fingernails massage down to the back of his neck it was so warm. He liked it apparently, because he made a little groan of noise.
You let your fingers feel on his skin and under his collar. His knees shuffled up beside your thighs, basically straddling you.
"Nate you are tired, why don't you sleep?" Trying to look at him better your nose grazed his cheek. Your breath left you. You'd never seen him like this his cheek was light pink in a splotchy pattern. His bangs were hiding his eyes right now, but you could see a slight grimace on his pink lips.
"You're making me too comfortable it's hard not to."
You couldn't help it. "Aw."
Again he made a cute little noise, this time of defiance.
Finally he leaned back a bit, the feeling of him sitting on your thighs kind of threw you, but not enough to not see the vision in front of you. His cheeks were splotchy pink, and his nose and lips were also pink. But now his lips were moist with saliva like he'd been nervously licking them.
Before you could stop you brushed some hair behind his ear. "Have you kissed a girl?"
Normally so stoic, Nate couldn't stop his eyes from widening. "Uhum-" he cleared his throat.
"Would you like to?"
"Well not just a girl. I'd like to kiss you y/n."
For a moment, you just stared at him.
Nate seemed to realize what he’d said only after the words had left his mouth. His face grew even redder, and his eyes flickered away from yours.
“You… you would?”
He gave the smallest nod.
Your hand was still beside his ear, fingers brushing lightly against his hair. You hesitated, giving him plenty of time to change his mind.
When he didn’t, you leaned closer.
Nate went completely still.
Your lips met his for barely a second, he’s so soft and warm. His slightly wet lips felt so good on yours.
When you pulled away, his eyes were still closed, and his saliva now meshed in your lips.
You couldn’t help smiling.
“Nate?”
His eyes opened slowly. He looked completely stunned.
“I—” He swallowed. “Was that it?”
You laughed softly. “Did you want it to be longer?” Again you tucked his hair, just wanting to touch him.
His cheeks somehow became even pinker.
“…Maybe.”
“Again?”
A warm puff of breath later, and his lips were back on yours. He didn’t know what to do but he moved his jaw like he’d seen in films. His fingers now wrapped around your back, his arms pressing his chest into yours.
Feeling your breasts pushed into him now kind of threw him off. He’d never want to make you uncomfortable, but he really couldn’t think while your tongue was licking into his mouth.
Again he couldn’t let slip a little noise into your mouth. Wanting his body closer, you pulled him by his waist to be completely flush against you. Both of you were getting lost in it, his legs kept shifting up and down the blankets, unable to keep still with all the ecstasy he was feeling with you kissing him in this way.
Neither of you wanted to break away, but he needed air. Nate knew his face was burning, all he could do was grip your shoulders and press his face in your neck.
The tightening his core was becoming dangerous, he could tell it was going to be a problem.
Now you couldn’t keep your hands off of him, but suddenly you couldn’t notice he was tensing.
“What’s wrong Nate?”
For the fifth time he makes a noise, it was kind of a sigh.
To answer you, he decided it would be way too much to say it out loud, so he just pressed his hips into yours.
Failing to stop it you let a gasp out. “Oh.”
“Aw it’s ok..”
you swallowed.
“Do… you want me to get rid of it?” Instantly he flinched and stilled completely.
“N-no not right now no. Let’s just sleep.”
Honestly you couldn’t help but feel disappointed, but you just kissed his cheek and laid back with him. He was so embarrassed you could tell, all you could do was snuggle him until the both of you fell into sleep.
