I don’t particularly want to start this rant off on a negative tip, however I think it’s important to be authentic with you guys as opposed to pretending that shit doesn’t get real dark for me every now and then. I don’t share it that often, but depression has played a huge part of my adult life. I’ve been living with it for years and years. It’s one of those things that linger around and thankfully I’ve become very aware of it and over time I’ve learnt to catch myself from falling too hard when it starts to take control (that was a process that took a while to get the hang of btw… ). To be fair everyone goes through heavy shit in their life, it’s unavoidable, and in my opinion necessary for us to grow as human beings. Emotional maturity will only come about once you’ve been through some bullshit to make you question what’s really important.
So with that being said, one thing I’ve decided to do over the last few years is not always lean on social media to show how good my life is all the time. Don’t get me wrong, I feel very blessed, but that doesn’t mean that it’s been easy for me 24/7. I like to be real with people as best I can. I value the truth and I find it very appealing when people are honest with themselves and with those around them. So sometimes I feel it’s important to share the painful stuff as well as the achievements. To put things in balance. It’s all about perspective and about accepting yourself for who you really are. The pros AND the cons are equally as important. Furthermore, I think it’s false that so many people in the limelight ( instagram celebrities and what not) consistently show off how well they are going and post this perfectly manicured lifestyle, which is more often than not just a ploy to come across in a certain way. Real isn’t perfect, perfect isn’t real. Fact. I guarantee you that they have shithouse days just like everyone else and they probably take thousands of selfies before they get one that makes them look so “pretty” or “hot” or whatever. Vanity has taken the internet by storm and celebrities for the most part want you to think that they are on top of the world 100% of the time and everything is fine and dandy in their lives. It’s not. It’s fake and gross and unrealistic and no doubt a lot of kids aspire to be like that…. They are just as insecure as everyone else if not more so and they are more often than not addicted to the attention and recognition of others rather than being at peace with who they truly are. To be completely honest I’ve felt pressure to only share the wins I’ve had online without showing the process for how hard it was to get there. Like “ look at me, I’ve just fallen into this brilliant career in music and it’s all smiles and the the grass is so fucking green over here yolo”… That’s not what really happened, trust me…
Besides ends shouldn’t justify means. Looking back on some of the cool shit that’s happened in my life I’ve realised that the journey itself was much more enjoyable then the outcome. The thrill of chasing something can far outweigh the feeling of catching it, strange but true in my experience. Maybe so many people wouldn’t be so insecure about themselves if we as a society where more honest with one another. We seem so fearful to show each other our weaknesses or downfalls online for some reason…. Sharing that shit can both help you reflect on your shortcomings and also provide insight for those around you. You shouldn’t be ashamed of failing. Failing is the reason why so many succeed, society just forgets to tell you that because it’s caught up with being popular. Failing and recognising your flaws is the universe’s way of teaching you how to get shit right. It’s 2016 for fuck sake you have nothing to lose by sharing your real experiences good and bad…In fact you’d be surprised how many people feel the exact same way as you do. I’m still untangling the years of conditioning society has put inside my brain. Everyday I’m still learning that failing is fine as long as you learn from it. Life doesn’t get easier in that regard, you just get better at it.
That being said I think it’s unhealthy to use social media as a straight up therapist. If you are going through heavy shit and you need to talk to someone you should look to the real world not the internet. If you find yourself lashing out online about your life it could be a sign that you need to connect with your loved ones or seek a professional’s help. There is nothing to be ashamed of when asking for help. Don’t let your silly ego get shit twisted, human beings need guidance so it’s natural to seek it out. There are people out there that will listen, you just need to ask. Human interaction is underrated these days.
Ok…My life has been fairly chaotic of late, personal, professional etc… In fact I have a lot of people around me that have been dealing with some epic life shit as well… So at times, although it may feel like I’m in some sort of isolated social bubble, I do understand that I’m not alone, I maybe having to sort shit out on my own but somebody out there is feeling the same as me, facing similar issues. I have no doubt in my mind that many many more people out there are dealing with much heavier and serious circumstances than I could ever even fathom. So please don’t assume I’m trying to use this post as a way of venting rather a way to relate to you. If you listen to my music and can half understand what I’m on about and you’ve taken the time hit “like”,and then actually read this far I can safely say we probably have a lot in common. We’re human for a start so I guess that narrows the odds from the get go.
To be totally honest with you guys I was actually really quite conflicted about the #DontWaitUpTour before hitting the road. Big rooms to fill for an artist of my size… I was in two minds about it. In fact when I announced it I was still going through some pretty intense personal shit. Like very heavy stuff, pretty much every element of my life was causing me to re think things, my home, my love life, my family, my spirituality… Everything was a complete mess basically. Because of all that I’d also lost a lot of confidence about my music as well and had become fearful that no one would come to the shows. There was actually one point where I seriously considering canceling the tour. Shit was getting very real for me no joke.
The hardest thing about being an entertainer for me is the fact there is no real off switch. People have a very short attention span, myself included. I find you really need to be pushing yourself if you want to be heard and stay relevant. Normally I’m totally fine with that, but when external forces all turn on you at once, the last thing I felt like doing was putting myself out into the public eye again and asking people to buy my EP and tickets to my show etc… I wanted to do the opposite, I wanted to hide away and escape. But I couldn’t do that. I refused to let it get the better of me and looking back I’m glad I didn’t. Even on the first night of the tour in Melbourne I was actually still going through some crazy depression and anxiety. Over the years I’ve become very good at hiding it but yeah, inside my head I was really stressing…Looking at you but talking to myself.
Then the first show started…I walked out on stage and remembered why I do this. I love art and music and it’s what keeps me going, I’m so stoked I get to perform it for a living and people actually come. Almost instantly all the bullshit that was tormenting my head fell away and I looked out at the body of people that had paid their hard earned money and free time just to see me. It’s crazy how doing what you really love doing can change the way your mind and heart operate. All of a sudden none of the other stuff mattered anymore. I was at peace. In a time of real darkness you guys really lifted my spirits. I guess I needed the real human interaction, not just the “likes” and follows of the internet. I guess in a sense I’m just as vain as some of these internet famous people in terms of the way I needed the validation that you guys came to shows, but at least I can say I truly feel connected with a lot of you on a human level. At least I felt I did, and will continue to do so. I mean that. LDTE has been out for a while now and I’ve met so many new people from creating the album. Apart from other musicians and industry peeps, I’ve actually put a lot of effort into meeting you guys after shows and also when I’m out and about, at airports or bus stops or in line for a gig, waiting for a coffee. Sometimes people want a photo sometime people wanna chat. I’ve spoken to a lot of you about all kinds of crazy shit. I actually must say that I think the majority of you are way more intelligent that I am. it’s pretty humbling that you guys even listen to my music in the first place, then wanna chat about the songs in such depth. Trips me out. I do wanna say that although it’s been happening more frequently since “So We Can Remember” & “LDTE” came out it’s not a big deal at all. I mean, it’s awesome to get in these conversations cause I never wanna be seen as some kind of B grade celeb that is above saying hi to a stranger who I can tell has a heart of gold. So no matter who you are, in most situations I’m always gonna hit you back at least with a hug or a hi five.
I’d just like to thank every single one of you that made it out to my recent tour. As I said it’s the last time I’ll be touring as a solo act for the foreseeable future, so it was awesome to have such a loving send off. For those of you who are wondering, I’ve put my Thundamentals hat well and truly back on and this year is going be massive. We are in the best place as a band we have ever been…Watch this space.
I know this was a long ramble but I just wanted to thank you guys one last time before I turn my attention to Thundas. This solo thing has ending up having a huge impact on my life, and you guys are a big part of that. I make music for me but it’s rad you seem to get something out of it, so thank you. But yeah, long story short… Don’t be afraid to show people who you really are. You’ll save yourself from a lot of bullshit in the long run by carving your own niche. Big love and much respect. #RocRocOn
