The silence that followed her faux pas was loud. Deafening, even. Her ears were ringing as the young farmer tried to find the words to explain, to apologize.. But nothing would come out of her lips. Her throat closed up in embarrassment, like a child caught sneaking a cookie from the cookie jar after explicitly being told ‘no’. Her eyes wanted to brim with tears, her face wanted to turn red, but she tried to fight it down.
“I-I.. I didn’t...” She tried to say, though her tongue felt like lead, and her mind was a mess of apologies and explanations. None of which wanted to be verbalized. Another silence followed, with her companion not saying a word, nor moving an inch. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him, her eyes cast downwards in regret and shame. She was backsliding; something she did to protect herself from getting hurt. And it usually worked, to a degree. But now..
“There’s something wrong. I can tell. If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine…”
Her eyes were still glued to the floor, refusing to meet the other’s gaze; knowing that if she did, she would break down and cry. He always seemed to have that effect on her, she realized. The florist managed to pull out her rawest emotions and thoughts without any effort at all. It was frightening.
“… But it’s not okay to push me away because of it. If it’s my fault, then tell me and I’ll try to fix it, but I don’t want you to act like I’m a stranger.”
“I’m not!” She blurted out. Realizing what she did, she bit her lip. She felt her heart grow heavy at what she’s done; how it affected one of the closest people to her, and how it might change their relationship for an indefinite period of time. “I...”
Minori wanted to cry. This kind of emotional confrontation wasn’t her strongest point. And with Cam, it was worse. There were so many things that wanted to come pouring out her mouth; that she’s frightened at how vulnerable she’s gotten around him, that she’s been having reactions akin to anxiety attacks around him, that she was so confused and scared. But none of it actually turned into words. So, instead, she sat there, her eyes dry but brimming with the pain of unintentional silence.