Wallflower 🌸

A freak of nature stuck in reality

[memonoid]

Depression is eating me alive

I feel numb and empty

I dunno how to feel or what to feel my soul is cold super cold maybe as ice or even colder

It’s like my body is here but my mind is in a black hole in outer space

Now it’s so dark in here please stay away to be safe

And don’t worry i wont be mad because I hate me too

[memonoid]

Nirvana

(Money , unconditional love , inner peace , freadom)

My mind is a mess

Why we always think about what we don’t have

We always think about what we need or what we wish for

I wish for a point when i stop thinking about what i need and start to be thankful about what I already have

I am looking for Nirvana

[memonoid]

Road-Trip

Life like a long road trip

It is full of mess,Stops,crowd,randomness and fun

It’s so uncomfortable but we enjoy it

And all the pain and mixed feelings we get during the journey will disappear once we get our distinction

Mixed feelings

1-Weakness

When i look at the horizon I feel so small

2-Lost

I feel lost in the crowed I don’t know who i am anymore or who i wanna be

3-Confused

I just want to feel the connection between my mind , my body and my soul

I feel that every part of me is separated

4-Overthinking

So what can I do to clear my mind ?

5-Blessed

Can I complete my life on the road

6-Deep

This world is weird , It’s full of all kinds if Everything, I mean we all human , we all live on Earth why? Why we got different lifestyles ?

[memonoid]

Perfection

I wanna cry all the pain out but I can not

I am pushing myself so hard to be strong and perfect and I become perfect yah a perfect liar

[memonoid]

[memonoid]

I worth it

I know that I am cold as Ice

But I have feelings , not as much as yours but I am a Human being

I am tired of this empty soul

I need to feel safe , quiet and still

I worth it .

[memonoid]

Death is near

Maybe we always joke about death , we mention it in songs

And voiding real talk about it

But death is real it’s the only fact in this world

It’s real , it’s near and scary

[memonoid]

I Am A Mess

A lot of noise inside of me but I can’t speak ,

A lot of words inside of my head but i can’t write ,

I have tons of random thoughts which need to arrange

I am a mess , I am a massive mess

[memonoid]

Art and Pain

Sad times make us creative

I feel that “Art is in love with pain”

Can we be creative without pain?!

Pain is important as much as it hurts it makes us stronger

It pushes us to the light

BUT only fighters can reach the light

[memonoid]

I forget how to feel .

Have you ever felt that you are watching your life through a window?!

I always feel that way that my soul caged in that body and I can’t free it

It’s scary..... emm Sometimes

I want my soul to be free , i want to catch feelings again no matter happiness , sadness or whatever

I am tired of being only Empty and Anxious .

[absurdistzsche-deactivated20221]

"Wouldn't that be heavenly?"

I looked at the sky and it has never been this beautiful, oh I always say that. Even if the sky is grey but it was more beautiful than ever. The sound of the rain reminded me of my grandmother, how she used to cook us our favorite food and telling us the same stories but can't help but listen just to see her smile that makes you feel like you're safe from all the bad of this world. Then I looked at the river, that river that was here thousands of years, all the events it viewed. The war, the peace, the small fights between two lovers, the jokes between friends, and all the stories that people used to tell it when they feel sad and lonely. Does it ever miss the old days when everything was easier or is it only me that feel nostalgic to times I've never been to?. Then a smoke cloud cut my thoughts when it started to fade I saw those eyes that hide behind some glasses but it failed to hide the sadness on it. It was like a Van Gogh painting that turned sadness from a bad feeling to a piece of art that you'll never get tired of looking at it. But when he smiled everything changed, I felt like I don't have to wait for the sun to rise. The sound of the wind and his voice felt like a a romantic symphony or a beautiful French song. I loved listening to him like he's singing my favorite song. I kept telling myself it's only a dream, but if it's actually a dream I don't want to wake up.

October,2019

[absurdistzsche-deactivated20221]

انها الثالثه صباحا، كم احب هذا الوقت من اليوم لأنك دائما ما تشعر بالهدوء و السلام لمجرد التخيل انك تعيش وحدك بهذا العالم. كم هي جميله النجوم اللتي تزين السماء الآن. كيف لسماء غاضبه أن تتحول إلي هذا الجمال و الهدوء في وقت قصير. هل تكون هذه الحياه غاضبه و قاسيه لتجعلنا نشكرها عندما تكون هادئه؟ انها دائما ما كانت سؤالا صعبا. اظن اني اعلم ما هي الاجابه وهي ان أكف عن المحاوله للبحث لانها بلا اجابه....

[memonoid]

Inner peace

Our feelings and emotions are normal

We all feel sad , guilty , happy , anxious , horney , blessed.....etc. because we are HUMANS

We have to accept this feelings and feel okay about it

We have to let it go and don’t try to hide it so we can reach our Inner peace

[memonoid]

Beauty

Sometimes I hate how i look because i look safe not Real

It’s so hard to feel that you are I am beautiful the way i am because I always fake something .

[memonoid]

I am an addict .

We always link the word addict to drugs

But that’s completely wrong we are all addict to what makes us feel good

Person , place , food , drinks , beverages, sex or cigarettes

I know it’s really hard to admit but it is real .

[memonoid]

My gypsy fairy

Once in my senior year

I saw a fairy okay she was a girl with a beautiful big eyes curly long hair cute innocent face her skin was just perfect i didn’t feel myself i just smiled to her and she smiled back to me

I swear i felt that the world loves me to send such an angelical smile

I waited for her in the same place in the same hour every week but she didn’t appear again maybe she is just a fairy or a daydream

She is too good to be true

[memonoid]

11:11 wishes

You become my 11:11 only wish and I hate that fact

I feel weak and dumb