THE LAND OF ABSOLUTELY SHIT

“’Nine?!’ Am I supposed to understand that? I don’t speak fuckin’ Dutch.”

#xblackbxrd

Antonio wanted to whine, but knew that would only draw attention towards himself and Lovino was honestly being no help at all.

“Listen, I’ll take you on a real date with all that fancy stuff or whatever if that’s what you want. Or I can buy you whatever you want at the mall.” He stated, giving the other pleading eyes. “Pleaaaaaaseeeeeeeee?”

There was literally little to no time maybe, because that person has now spotted them.

#ask #so it begins..............#achaemxnid

“Ohh, for the love of Christ, stop that.” He should’ve known Antonio was going to use the sad puppy eyes look on him; Lovino fell for it every time. It was a cheap tactic, goddamnit!

“I-I’m not saying I want a date with you, cazzo, I... whatever!” Sullenly, he crossed his arms. “But sure, spend as much money on me as you want, I’m holding you to that promise. And don’t be cheap either!! If I say I want that pair of Alexander McQueen boots you’ll buy it for me, yeah?”

#espaxa

"So, you still up for that cooking contest?"

“Si?” He clears his throat and tries for a more confident-sounding reaffirmation. “Si! Ready whenever you are, amore!”

lagomorphique

he smol

#foto

[text: fratello] bitch did i fucking stutter

[text: fratello] okay in all seriousness yeah i can help you find the original source or whatever

[text: fratello] but you owe me like…a lot of hugs

[text: cazzo #1] Y did God halve to curse me with a bother like you

[text: cazzo #1] Was I doing any thing embarrassing in the video. Like was I stripping to Il Volo or something

[text: cazzo #1] Not that I ever did that!!!11

senescentome

Arthur held in a laugh, his hand reaching into his pocket to pull out his black lighter. Though, he wondered, even if English turned out not to be his first language, why this word wasn’t in his go-to vocabulary. Did he smoke often? Rarely? “Please tell me you’re a practiced smoker. Or will I have to stand a few feet away as you cough up a lung?” He teased, handing him the lighter. Oh, now Arthur could not hold his laughter in this time around. God, that sounded so forced, so foreign. “That is well bad. Sorry am I giving off that fuck everything and everyone look again?” He said sarcastically, patting Lovino on the shoulder before leaning back against the wall. “I promise you, whatever shite you saw on the telly about those with my look present a horrible portrayal.”

#senescentome #i knew ittt I KNEW IT #omg pls i love ur arthur too FORREAL he is my fave arthur #altho i hope one day the relationship between these two progress beyond them being hoity toity with each other

"Huh? Yeah, o'course! Just that I usually have one on me so I'm not used to having to ask, see?" He lit the cigarette and returned the lighter to the other before taking a looong, blissful drag. And thankfully, he nailed this part (without coughing, thank you very much weird condescending British kid...!). Lovino held it in for a few seconds, then let the smoke out among with his next breath in a hazy stream, straight into the Arthur's face. (Oops.) "Sorry," he said shortly, not sounding very sorry at all.

Lovino scowled when the other laughed, but didn’t say anything for lack of a good response. And it was true that the only people who dressed like the guy had been actors he’d seen on television. There were also those wannabes he had hung out with on occasion back in Italy, but they didn't count. Italians didn't make very good punks, in Lovino's opinion. “Hey, I’m not gonna discriminate against a clothing trend. Although,” he pointed down at the other’s shoes, which were definitely out-dated and in danger of becoming a fashion faux pas, “WHAT ARE THOSE?!?!?!”

hetaliapomodoro

【腐向け】子分ピンチ Pixiv ID: 6423065 Member: ジョー＠擬人化ア４４a

#DIE CAZZO!!!!!

“A gang, hm? Maybe they’d think mafia or something.” He laughed just a little, pushing a few locks of hair behind his ear, before looking back over at his brother, biting the inside of his cheek.

“The Gestapo got me back then too. Not a very fun time that was.”

Feliciano wasn’t sure what to say, and felt his hands begin to fidget. He needed to do something, say something, keep himself distracted. So he picked up the ice pack again, reaching out to press it again Lovino’s cheek and nose.

“Haah. Exactly.” Lovino’s face twisted into a grimace. He couldn’t help glancing behind his back. It was a stupid reflex but he couldn’t help it; the years of living under the constant shadow of the Mafia had made him paranoid to a point of nonsense. He envied his brother for his distance and relative distance from them, sometimes.

“They the ones who put the tracker on you?” Lovino stared hard at Feli’s wrist, tried to imagine his brother slitting his own skin open and ripping it out... — Of course, he had never suffered any major harm under that infamous secret police of the Germans. He’d gotten out of all the encounters intact, with a fair bit of lying and bribery and a bang-up job of kissing the officers’ asses; Lovino had always been the coward of the two of them, hadn’t he?

Scowling at this thought, he distracted himself with his favourite pastime: irritation. “I’m fine, I’m fine already, dammit.” He pushed away Feliciano’s hands. The painkiller was working wonders.

Oh, he’s gonna get loud.

He quickly put a hand on Lovino’s mouth, in hopes to muffle his words. “Well, you see, it’s a funny story, haha…Basically, that person over there is my ex, and I definitely don’t want to be seen without a date if they notice I’m sitting and eating alone…Soooooooo, your going to pretend to be my date for the rest of the night, si.”

#espaxa #romano's so thirsty for a sugar daddy s2g

Lovino blinked, first in confusion, then understanding, then confusion again. “I’ll pretend to be your date just to make your spineless ass look less lonely and pathetic?” The Italian was a self-respecting man and he did not take kindly to being ordered around, capisci! “What d’ya think I am, an escort service?!”

“If I’m gonna be anyone’s date I’ll be a real one, thanks very much.” He wrestled Antonio’s hand away from his mouth. “And that includes all the shit like kissing, hair-smooching, and getting picked up in a shiny car. And full-course meals at my favourite Italian restaurant.”

[text: fratello] Whiny~

[text: fratello] um because it’s the 21st century i think and people always have a camera on their phones

[text: fratello] no

[text: cazzo #1] This is some fucked up shit

[text: cazzo #1] Fratello listen you need too help me take this gy down he didn’t get my permission to film!!

[text: cazzo #1] Fuck you. I know your lying

bielxrus-blog

God, could this take any longer. Scratch that, it could, and from the looks of that change in his hands, it’d be four in the morning before anyone would get through this line. Well, that might have been an exaggeration, but when she’s stuck behind slow people it tends to make her a little over dramatic.

“Can’t say I am very virtuous person,”

And apparently a idiot with words. To her, though, there isn’t anything wrong with that sentence, and she will more than likely defend her terrible English to the grave.

Wait, wait, wait. She takes a good look over of him, and it’s no surprise when a quiet snort comes emits. Well, perhaps there is some light to this dreadful situation - just looking at him was amusing her.

“Looks like I’m not the only one either. Are you even wearing anything underneath that or do you just-” What’s the word she’s looking for? She knows it in nearly three other languages, but in English it’s entirely different. “….get off on going out in public in nothing but a shitty fur coat?”

#bielxrus #now that i look back on it i feel like i was drunk when i rwote tha t

He let one corner of his mouth lift in a sardonic grin. “Think that’s the first time I’ve heard a girl admit that.” (Outside of strip clubs, that is, but Lovino was definitely not going to bring up a topic like that with any girl he thought he had half a snowball’s chance in hell with. He may have been naked under a coat that was older than he was but he still had class. Sort of.)

Slower than ever, Lovino continued his tedious stacking of change. Twenty quarters, twenty-one, twenty-two —

“DAMN IT!” the Italian whirled around and jabbed an accusing finger at the hot (but also kind of annoying, at this point) woman. “You made me lose my place!” He threw his hands over his head. “Now I gotta count this godforsaken roll of coins again.”

— Uh, what was that? The look he directed at the other was a mixture of vague surprise, embarrassment, and disgust. Lovino felt his face beginning to heat up against his will. “First of all, this coat is a limited-edition Versace pattern. The first line of coats they ever sold. It’s vintage, goddamnit! And I’ll have you know I am wearing underwear.” A lie, but it wasn’t as if she could tell... “Also, I have a Historical Architecture test tomorrow that I’m beyond screwed for and this is just my way of taking procrastination to a whole new paradigm. Why the fuck else do you think I’ve got forty fucking pounds of loose change on me at a fucking grocery store twelve in the fucking morning!!”

merdionale

Well, there was that one person he was definitely not happy to see. So he went ahead and quickly sat down beside Lovino, arm going around the other’s shoulders. This was fine.

“You look beautiful tonight, Lovi!” He cheerfully stated, glancing over at the person over there that hadn’t noticied him…yet. He then quickly whispered, “Please go with it—”

#espaxa #''this was fine''#is also what antonio probabyl says as his house burns down #is this the au or ???

Lovino swore and nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt an arm slung around his shoulders, and when he turned around was not amused to see a certain clingy-ass Spaniard being his usual clingy-ass self. “Oh, it’s you, capocollo, you nearly gave me a heart attack...! Get your arm the fuck off of me!”

He spun around, squinting in the direction Antonio was looking. “Can you explain what the hell you’re doing here?” Dear God, all he wanted in life was one fucking meal in peace. One.

lovi-noo

Preach it, homie! Preach it! I mean Romano may be a bit of a salt pile but he's not a borderline hateful and abusive douchebag. And plus, hasn't it been clear that he actually loves his brother too much? To the point he's overly protective?

yes! it’s been stated that he’s actually a very fun guy, despite the way he acts sometimes, some people just tend to forget, or they pretend that it’s not true, but it is. it’s very true. face the facts people. he’s not the cold hearted bitch everyone says he is.

also, who the flying fuck said he was abusive??where the hell are you guys getting this from??

#hc #*lovino voice* but i AM a coldhearted bitch

“It was during the time I was working with the Resistance, Lovino…”

For a moment, Feliciano wasn’t sure what to do, but then he pulled down the top of his shirt, revealing the bullet wound scar near his chest. It was a precise-looking sort of scar, yet it was almost as pearly as the one on his wrist.

“There’s this one, as well. I’m surprised, because I expected to see you covered in a few new scars too. Or, I just never saw them.”

#drowninginvenicewaters #war //#scars /#i hate 2 be the nerd here but what r your headcanons about feli's ideologies during and post wwii??

Periodically Lovino would think back to the 1940′s and feel guilty about not having done more to protect his brother. But he’d had so few moments of peace during the chaotic years of la guerra civile, and he’d been too busy trying to fix the bigger picture than to pay much attention to how Feliciano was faring.

“Eh... hah.” Lovino laughed awkwardly. “Concealer works wonders, y’ know.” He scratched his head. He never brought up these things in front of Feli, because a small part of him would always consider Feliciano the younger brother, the one who had to be shielded from all the horrors of war and torture. “Can’t have girls seeing me around wearing all these scars, they’d think I was in some gang.”

[text: fratello] Mwahaahahhahahahaa >:D

[text: fratello] Lmao then more reason to do it amirite

[text: fratello] Mehhhh I won’t send anymore since your so whiny about it

[text: fratello] Oh yeah there’s this huge video online about you—

[text: cazzo #1] I’m not been whiny, goddamnit. You try footing my phone bill.

[text: cazzo #1] Are you shitting me rn

[text: cazzo #1] WHY WOULD THERE BEE A VIDEO OF ME THAT I HAVEN’T HEARD ABOUT?

[text: cazzo #1] Do I look hot in it at lest?

uvazhnyy-deactivated20150818

“Cats are very unpredictable creatures.” Olena held the kitten to her bosom and gently pet him. “I am not knowing very much about them; but they can be tricky, it seems! I am thinking maybe he would like to play with you though!”

He cringed at this idea, leaning back on his heels. “Uh uh. But I don’t know if Lovino II is potty-trained —” (litter-trained? What was the proper vocabulary when dealing with cats?) “— yet, and what if he decides to take a piss on my pants?! These are Zara!”

#uvazhnyy

bielxrus-blog

Ah yes, the bane of her existence: grocery stores. It’s full of loud, annoying people that take too long to get a simple thing of pasta, and she wants none of it. But, she does need to eat, and having take out for the fourth time this week doesn’t sound too appealing. This, was why she had waited until it was almost midnight to run to the 24 hour store, and she’d be damned if people were still there.

Luckily enough for her, though, none of them blocked her way to the things she needed. It wasn’t until she was ready to check out with her small basket of goods did she have a problem. Whoever this was in front of her was taking far too long and Natalya could feel herself growing more and more irritated by the second.

“….” At first she stayed silent, but by the time almost ten minutes had passed, she was done playing nice. “…Could you hurry the fuck up. I would like to go home before I’m fifty.”