crying, iām talking writhing in satoruās arms as you break down finally letting all of the weight of the jujutsu world crumble on you.
āthereās something- something rotten inside of me.. something wrong!ā your already shaken body, shakes even more at the realization of your words.
satoru stills, because heās already lost his best friend, oh suguru, how could he lose you, and lose both of you forever? he couldnāt have this.. this defect spreading around to those heās loved. he couldnāt stop it the first time, but heās sure he can now.
his eyes are tearing up, and Satoru swears he can sense all that negative energy radiating off of you in tidal waves, like theyāre trying to pull him in too.
āno, baby, thereās absolutely nothing rotten inside of you. donāt ever say that..ā his hands cradle your face like youāre glass, like you could break at any moment. āThisāll pass, itās just your emotions talking!ā
and you could shatter. youāve all witnessed how suguru just snapped out of nowhere. but there were signs. no many signs ignored and yet, nothing prevented it.. no one prevented it at all.
his words have no affect on you, instead you cry even more because he canāt even understand or fathom what this feeling was like. what feeling rotten and wrong felt like. what being used, and used over, and over again did to you. no because as the strongest, he had to push those feelings aside and follow instructions, orders, as do the rest of you, but to an extreme. because if heās not the strongest who is he?
heād be nothing, and thatās why he couldnāt ever understand this crushing feeling in your chest. because he has a future already paved and carved for him. satoru gojo had the entire world on his shoulders, and he still doesnāt even blink. how strong and will-powered you wished you were.
āyou donāt know that, you canāt know that! i-iām! Satoru I canāt! sāall too much!ā and as if that didnāt make his heart shatter your next words did, āI miss him so much, ātoru! I canāt- I miss him! itās not the same.. why?? why?ā
And itās as if the universe finally allowed him to process his emotions about everything. he missed suguru geto so so much. he missed his best friend and their playful banter. he missed the way you and geto would play fight because you liked to test him. he missed going out to dinner with you, shoko, and geto, just for you to steal bits and pieces of their food because it ātasted betterā. he missed how geto would not hesitate to protect you, and watch over you if satoru wasnāt around.
And then he realizes your hiccups have stopped, but he can still feel the wet of your face- oh? why are your hands reaching up to wipe his face? and then he feels his own cheeks wet with his own salty tears.
he didnāt even realize heād started crying. He just leans into your hands and sighs now though. trying to find a way to answer your previous questions of why?
āI miss him too.. I donāt know why..ā he whispered your name softly, āI wish I knew.. but you canāt do the same thing ok?!ā he looks at you so determined.
those blue eyes a bit bloodshot. his nose scrunching up to sniffle as he tried to compose himself in front of you. his eyebrows are furrowed, and heās leaning into your space now, face to face, mere centimeters.
he can still see the tears cascading down your own face, and as much as it hurts him to see you like this, to be able to be the person you become vulnerable like this with, was more than an honor, and heād make sure you never felt this way again.
again, heās sure of it.
and as far as promises go you were sure you wouldnāt break it, at least for now.