rap devil

colson baker and the team. that’s it. that’s the blog.

[seductivestilinski]

Derek Hale x Reader

!! i don’t own this gif or the prompt

Prompt: “If you walk out that door, don’t even think about coming back.”

Warnings: swearing, mild violence i guess you could say

You were in Derek’s loft, sitting on top of the kitchen counter as you ate hot cheetos from the bag sitting beside you. You’d decided to skip school that day. Your brother, Scott, had asked where you were, you lied and told him you weren’t feeling well so you went home.

Derek wasn’t at the loft when you showed up and neither was his new Beta, Isaac. You hadn’t been too upset when the Alpha changed the young boy. They told you he was saved by the bite and it had inevitably been an accident. Scott told you otherwise, insisting that Derek was building a pack to get him to join them. You didn’t know who to believe, you trusted your boyfriend but Scott was your brother. That’s why you didn’t tell him you were there.

The big metal door slid open with a scraping sound and a bang. A smile spread across your lips and you turned to the door, waiting to see your boyfriend walk through. Instead you saw Isaac and a blonde girl from school, Erica, you recalled.

“(Y/N) y-you’re.. you’re supposed to be at school,” Isaac stuttered and turned to look at Derek who was now walking through the door.

The smile on your face faltered as you looked between the three. Derek’s skin paled as he stared wide eyed at you and swallowed thickly. He shoved his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket and squared his shoulders. His sharp green eyes then locked with yours in a hardened gaze.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Derek said simply.

“What’s this?” you questioned, gesturing to the girl who was still comfortably holding onto Isaac.

Derek looked at his Beta and nodded his head to the stairs in a single command. Isaac obeyed and started to lead Erica across the room.

“Isaac,” your sharp tone cause him to stop immediately. He kept his back to you but turned his head to let you know he was listening. “Is she... Did he turn her?” you asked, hopping off of the counter and walking closer.

“Leave them, (Y/N).”

Derek’s warning and Isaac’s silence were enough for you. Your head slowly turned until you were looking at your boyfriend again. His eyes held regret but his face was still stone cold. Your jaw was tight as you hissed, “You lied to me.”

Isaac took that as his chance to escape, quickly escorting Erica upstairs to the safety of a bedroom.

“Scott was right. I trusted you!” you found yourself yelling, voice echoing through the metal structure. The teenagers upstairs didn’t need enhanced senses to hear you.

“I’m doing what needs to be done. I need a pack, we’re stronger that way,” Derek defended himself.

“You want Scott, Derek, admit it,” you seethed in anger. You couldn’t believe he betrayed your trust like that and thought he could hide it. Scott would have told you in a matter of hours and you two would’ve ended up in that situation regardless. “Are you going to turn the whole school until he joins you? Hm? Turn his friends? Turn me?!”

“I’m willing to do whatever I have to do,” he replied, eyes piercing yours. He wasn’t kidding. He was willing to risk your life on a bite just to get to your brother. It had you wondering if he ever actually liked you at all.

“I can’t believe this. I can’t fucking believe you!” you charged at him now. Your hands smacked against his chest with every word you said, even after you were done talking.

Derek let you do it for a moment. He knew you needed to get it out. But only for a moment, he quickly grew irritated at your childish behavior. His eyes glowed red as he snatched your wrists and growled, “That’s enough.”

You pulled your arms out of his grip while his eyes returned to their natural color. You reached up and placed a shaking hand over your mouth, turning away. Your mind was racing. You didn’t know what to do. Scott always knew what to do and you were really wishing he was there right then.

Derek’s eyes flitted to the floor. He could smell every emotion coming off of you. Rage, sadness, anxiety... heartbreak... betrayal. He could practically feel it with how strongly you reeked.

“If you love me, you won’t do this,” you finally said, voice calm and softer.

“(Y/N). Please,” Derek didn’t want to have to choose. He knew you wouldn’t like what he had to say.

“Do you love me?!” you shouted as you whipped back around to him.

“Of course I do!” he exploded, becoming ever more irritated with your behavior. He desperately wanted you to see things his way; convince your brother to just join him and stop the nonsense.

Your bottom lip trembled as you stared at the man in front of you. He couldn’t hold your gaze for longer than a second. His fingers twitched at his sides and his breathing was heavy. His desire to be the Alpha was stronger than his love for you, at least in that moment.

“But that won’t change this. That won’t change your mind,” you stated as a few tears slipped from your eyes. You didn’t bother to wipe them. You wanted him to see how he was hurting you.

You let out a sob as you walked back into the kitchen and grabbed your backpack. You slung it over your shoulder and slid around Derek to get to the door. You didn’t want to touch him, let alone be around him anymore. Just looking at him was ripping your heart to pieces.

You reached for the large sliding door but stopped. The next words that came out of Derek’s mouth made your blood run cold. He stepped on any shred of hope that you two could get through this.

“If you walk out that door, don’t even think about coming back.”

You breathed in deeply through your nose and opened the door roughly. You paused for another second to give him a chance to take it back. When he remained silent you let out a dry laugh.

“Wasn’t planning on it,” your tone was venomous.

With that, you walked out of his loft and slammed the door shut behind you.

[seductivestilinski]

Scott McCall x Reader

!! i don’t own this gif, i found it. !!

!! also, i know the layout seems funny but i wrote this in this way for my book on wattpad. check it out, user is @/maximoffwithhishead !!

Prompt: You want to leave Beacon Hills because you think you’re weak. Scott convinces you otherwise.

You walked briskly down the hallways, brushing past your classmates and ignoring their glances. After the events of last night you wished they wouldn't look at you at all. You wanted nothing more than to disappear into thin air.

Your friends had fought valiantly, without fear. They moved with precision and grace as they took down the enemy. It was like they were meant for this.

What did you do? Oh, you cowered in the shadows, afraid to even attempt fighting with the others. You couldn't heal like them. Yet, Stiles had no problem looking death in the face... So why couldn't you?

Your heartbeat was erratic, breath coming up short as you stumbled down the hallway by the locker rooms. A squeak left your lips as a pair of strong hands grabbed your arms and you were pulled into the boy's locker room.

"Hey, (Y/N), hey.. Are you okay?" you looked up, meeting the worried eyes of Scott McCall.

"Scott? Shouldn't you b-be in practice?" your voice shook as you tried to calm your breathing. The last thing you needed was to have a panic attack.

"Coach let me out early," Scott dismissed and wrapped his hands around your trembling ones. "What happened? I could hear your heart racing from across the school."

Tears welled in your eyes as you dropped your gaze to the ground below you. "I can't do this. I'm not strong enough for this anymore, Scott. I think I need to leave Beacon Hills," you choked out.

Scott's gaze softened but his eyes went from worried to sad. "What happened, (Y/N)? Why do you feel that way?"

"Last night I felt powerless... I hid in the corner like a coward! God, even Stiles was out there, fighting for his life but I couldn't move!" you started ranting, throwing your hands about as they slipped from his grip. "I'm not meant for this. This world doesn't need me like they need you, Scott. I can't help anyone."

"That's not true," Scott shook his head, hands reaching out and grabbing the sides of your head. His thumbs brushed across your flushed cheekbones as his dark chocolate iris' bore into yours. "Who helped Stiles get through the guilt after the Nogitsune possessed him?"

"Me," you mumbled softly in response.

"And who helped Lydia figure out the deadpool before anyone else?"

"Also me."

A small smile spread across Scott's pink lips as he stepped closer to you.

"You helped Malia find an anchor. You've talked Liam down from an outburst more than once," the dark haired male threaded his fingers through your hair as he spoke. "You've helped me more times than I can count, (Y/N). You're there to help me make the right decisions or scold me when I don't. You go to the ends of the Earth to investigate and gather information. You've saved my life without even realizing it."

Your eyes met Scott's once again, a tear sliding down your cheek that he quickly wiped away. He bent down and pressed his soft lips against yours gently. Both of hands caressed the side of your face until he pulled away. He then wrapped his strong arms around your shoulders and pulled you into his chest.

"The world may not need you, but the Pack needs you. I need you. You don't have to fight the fights to help. You help more than you know without putting yourself in harms way."

[merrygoroundxx]

Colson Baker x Reader ; JP Cappelletty x Reader

Prompt: Colson comes back to you but you’ve fallen for someone else.

Warnings: swearing, (is heartbreak a warning?)

A/N: this is a part 2 to my other Colson/JP one shot and i’m pretty sure it’s way longer so I’m sorry (not really). hope you all enjoy.

It had been almost five months since Colson chose his girlfriend over your friendship. You were torn up about it for the first few weeks but the guys made it nearly impossible. They made sure you were rarely alone and always occupied doing something with them. AJ and Baze taught you how to play guitar. Slim taught you how to roll the perfect backwood, after many, many fails. You’d practically moved in with how much you were at the house. Colson was usually hiding away in his room or not home when you were there. They were taking a few months off before their next tour after the success of dropping General Admission.

Rook had been the one to spend the most time with you. He took you out for food, to go shopping, even to Disneyland at one point. He wanted to make sure you were never alone with your thoughts because he knew how deep your inner demons ran. He would take you on long drives in the middle of the night if you called and said you couldn’t sleep. He’d find one of the tallest hills in Los Angeles and you’d lay on the hood of the car staring at the stars. You would talk about anything or nothing at all but it didn’t matter to you. Just having him there made the hole in your heart smaller and smaller with each day. He’d drive you home and if you fell asleep in the car, he’d take you to their house and put you in his bed while he slept on the couch.

One night was rough and you’d spent hours crying about everything you felt was wrong with you. Rook held you in the driver’s seat of his car and shushed you. He insisted you were one of the most perfect people he’d ever met. Hearing you talk so lowly of yourself had tears burning in his own eyes. When he placed you in his bed, half asleep, you reached for him and asked him to stay. He hesitated but your small hands tugging at his shirt made him cave. “Okay,” he whispered into the dark room and slipped off his shirt, black sweatpants adorning his legs in the cold room.

Rook slipped under the blanket and made himself comfortable, trying not to lay too close to you. He didn’t want you to think he had the wrong intentions no matter how badly he wanted to pull you close and never let you go. But when your warm body was suddenly pressed against his and your legs tangled together he felt his heart swell. He wrapped his muscular arms around you and held you against his chest the whole night as the two of you slept.

When you woke up the next day you were alone and the spot where Rook had slept was cold. You sat up with puffy eyes and messy hair as the bathroom door opened and the brunette male stepped out, freshly showered and clothed. He walked over to the bed with a smile and placed a gentle kiss to your forehead. “There’s a clean towel and a change of clothes in there for you,” he whispered before turning and walking towards the door.

“Hey Rook?” you piped up before he left and watched him turn, blue eyes meeting yours. “Thank you,” you smiled and twiddled your thumbs in your lap.

“Always,” he grinned and winked before shutting the door behind him as he left.

The first time the two of you kissed for real, not an alcohol induced sloppy one, was something you’d both been waiting for. You were at the house with the guys and out in the pool. Music played from the outdoor speakers as beers flowed and smoke filled the air. Rook jumped in the pool right by you, causing a splash to hit you directly in the face. A shriek left your lips as a war of splashes started. Rook grabbed you and pulled you against his chest so your arms were pinned. The two of you laughed as water ran down your faces.

As Rook looked down at you, he became mesmerized by your bright eyes and stunning smile. You stared up at him and watched as his eyes flickered from your own eyes to your lips. In an instant, he leant down as you tilted your head up to meet him halfway. Your lips pressed together awkwardly at first. It was short and rushed as you both pulled away quickly.

Rook looked shocked and like he was about to apologize but you wiggled your hands free and placed them on the back of his neck, pulling him down again. This time your lips connected perfectly. The underlying sexual tension between you two seemed to melt away with every synchronized move of your lips. When you pulled back in felt like your mouth was numb and tingly, the smile on Rook’s face caused you to let out a chuckle.

“‘Bout time!” you both heard Slim yell, causing the whole group to laugh.

There was never a definitive moment that you and Rook became a couple. There was never a conversation of “what are we?” There was just an understanding that the two of you cared greatly for each other and wanted something more. You kissed openly in front of your friends and held hands in public. You were his and he was yours. The only person who was completely oblivious to that was Colson.

One day, in the middle of a hot Californian summer, a cookout was happening at the house. There were lots of people hanging out outside where Basil was grilling as well as moving in and out of the kitchen for beverages of their choice. You stood at the counter cutting up fruit for people to snack on when you heard the front door open and then shut heavily. You looked up as Colson entered the kitchen and felt a knot form in your stomach. His intense gaze met yours solidly for the first time in months.

“Hey,” he greeted and walked around the counter to where you stood, eyeing the display of juicy fruit.

“Hi,” your voice came out softer and squeakier than you wanted it to.

Colson moved behind you and you sucked in a sharp breath when his arms wrapped themselves around your waist and he squeezed you tightly. He pressed his face into your shoulder, nose grazing your shoulder blade. For a moment you felt relaxed before you became overwhelmed and turned in his arms, pushing him away.

“What the hell are you doing?” you asked as you set the knife down and crossed your arms over your chest.

“I’ve missed you,” Colson responded and rubbed the back of his neck. “Amber and I just broke up so I... I just thought-“

“You thought what?” you interrupted him with a stern voice and furrowed brow. “You thought I’d just hop into bed with you cause you’re lonely like I used to?”

Colson was speechless. He stared at you with mouth ajar and eyes wide. You were saying everything you needed to say and you weren’t about to hold back anymore.

“I loved you, Kells. I loved you more than anyone and you broke me. You knew, deep down, but still treated me like another girl. You dropped me and pretended like I didn’t exist for six months. But things have changed. I’ve changed. And now that I’m finally happy you want to come back into my life? Now that I found someone who I truly love and know feels the same way? This is bullshit,” you were nearly shouting by the time you were done.

“Everything okay I’m here?” Rook’s voice caused your head to snap his way. His worried eyes met your angered ones and for a moment, you forgot there was a party happening.

You breathed in deeply through your nose and forced a smile to your lips. “Everything’s fine. I’ll be out in a minute,” you answered calmly but the shaking in your voice said otherwise.

Rook simply nodded once and retreated back out the patio door. You didn’t know how much he’d heard but by the look on his face you were sure he’d heard enough. You turned back to the plate of fruit you’d made and picked up, hardly sparing a glance Colson’s way.

“I’m sorry,” you heard him say but you didn’t answer. You walked out the patio door and over to the table where some people were sitting. You set the fruit platter down next to some of the other food and walked over to the chair Rook had made his own.

Colson watched through the window as you leant down and planted a kiss to Rook’s plump lips before taking a seat on his lap. The drummer wrapped his arm firmly around your waist and held you close with a smile.

Colson felt like his heart was being squeezed at the sight. He’d been so selfish for so long and pushed you straight into the ready arms of his best friend. He found himself wishing he could turn back time and change everything and maybe it would be his lap you were sitting on. His hand you were holding and his lips you were kissing. But he fucked it up and he had to live with that. So with a sigh and shake of his head, Colson swallowed his pride and stepped out onto the patio. He put on a smile and pretended to laugh with his friends when really, his heart was breaking every second he had to watch you with Rook.

[merrygoroundxx]

REQUESTS!

I’m sorry if you’ve made requests and I haven’t posted them (cause I haven’t posted anything actually). I’ve had a lot going on but I’m getting back to writing today!

[merrygoroundxx]

If you guys would like you can’t request little shorts that you want me to write :)

I can’t promise I’ll get them posted fast but I’ll get to them eventually!

You can request for anyone in the EST gang.

[merrygoroundxx]

I just realized the typo I made in this smh

[iheartmgk]

Machine Gun Kelly- Lately

[iheartmgk]

[merrygoroundxx]

f u c k

[merrygoroundxx]

How do I convince my parents that I’ll be fine to go see kells in Oklahoma City by myself on Saturday. I’m almost 22 years old and feel like 15 again being told no. Lmao.

[colsondiablo]

Adults👌

[merrygoroundxx]

I fucking LOVED this Kellyvision

[merrygoroundxx]

If you guys would like you can request little shorts that you want me to write :)

I can’t promise I’ll get them posted fast but I’ll get to them eventually!

You can request for anyone in the EST gang.

[merrygoroundxx]

Colson Baker x Reader

JP Cappelletty x Reader (if you look close enough)

Prompt: “What happened to us? We used to be so close.”

Why does it hurt so much?” “Because it was real.”

You hadn’t seen Colson Baker in four months. You hadn’t spoke to him in close to three. Such a change from a year ago when you were practically attached at the hip. So on that warm fall day in California, you found yourself driving up to the large home housed by the bunch of rowdy guys.

You pulled up behind the familiar black Range Rover and felt your heart hammering in your chest. It felt so weird to be back there, almost wrong in a way. You walked slowly up to the front door and stood there for a minute as you hesitated to ring to doorbell. Sucking in a deep breath, you finally worked up the nerve to press the button, hand shaking as you did so.

You could hear many voices coming from within the house and one neared closer. The door opened to reveal the short familiar tattooed brunette you knew too well. He seemed shocked to see you at first before a grin spread across his face. “What the fuck are you doing here?” Rook asked as he motioned you inside then pulled you into a tight hug. “We’ve missed you,” he said into your hair then pulled away and gave you a once over.

“I missed y’all too,” you responded nervously and glanced around the large home.

“Rookie who is it?!” you heard his voice shout from around the corner in the kitchen. It made goosebumps rise on your skin. You didn’t know how he’d react to seeing you or if he’d want to at all after basically cutting you off.

Rook smiled at you and grabbed your arm, dragging you to the kitchen where the voices were coming from. “Look who surprised us,” he announced with a toothy grin as you entered the large, extravagant kitchen.

Dub, Slim and Aj rushed you and crushed you in a group hug. Thankfully Dre and Basil waited their turns before offering you their own hugs. A bunch of jumbled ‘miss you’s and ‘how are you’s were spoken at the same time. You laughed softly until your eyes met Colson’s. His face was expressionless and his eyes held no emotion. He simply stared at you as if he couldn’t believe you’d showed up to his home unannounced.

The mood in the room quickly changed as everyone went quiet and observed the two of you. Clearly he hadn’t told them how he’d stopped talking to you and it wasn’t your choice that you didn’t come around anymore. It hurt because all of those guys were your friends and you felt like you couldn’t see them because of the tattooed rapper.

“Can we talk?” you asked Colson who had looked away and occupied himself by messing with a charging cord on the counter.

He didn’t say anything, just nodded and walked to the living room as you followed. The other guys offered you small, encouraging smiles but they didn’t help. Colson sat on one side of the large L shaped couch and you chose to sit a cushion away from him.

He didn’t look at you or say anything. He sat hunched over with his elbows resting on his knees and hands clasped together. His hair was messy, a look you’d always liked on him. The tension in the air was thick and it made your stomach flip uncomfortably.

“Do you have anything to say?” you asked after another moment of silence.

Colson let out a dry laugh and held his hands out like you’d asked the most obvious question in the world. He glanced at you and there was harshness to his voice when he responded, “You’re the one that wanted to talk.”

“Because you’ve been deliberately ignoring me for the past three months!” you exclaimed and slapped your hand against your thigh. When his eyes snapped towards yours again you looked away and clenched your jaw. “I’ve reached out time and time again to be left on read and not get shit for a response. I’ve been your friend for the past two years and suddenly you just wanna cut me off?”

Colson rubbed his face as he listened to you and sighed. He knew how shitty he’d been to you and it sucked. It wasn’t like he wanted to cut you off, but he felt like he had to. He was with Amber now and his conflicting feelings for you were getting in the way of that. He didn’t deserve someone like you so he figured pushing you away was the easiest way to keep you from getting hurt. He didn’t respond because he didn’t know what to say. Anything he said would be the wrong thing even though his heart and mind were screaming at him to tell you how he felt.

“What happened to us?” your voice cracked as you spoke. “We used to be so close.”

Colson knew you were right. The two of you used to spend days and nights together on tour and hanging out at the studio or the house. Wether it was with the guys or not, just being together made both of you happy. You knew more about each other than anyone else other than maybe Slim.

“I can’t fuckin’ do this,” Colson stated as he shook his head and stood up. “I’m with Amber and I can’t be spending every second with you. I have an album release and a tour to prepare for. Things have changed.”

You didn’t look at him as he left the room and went back to the kitchen. You heard hushed voices for a moment before Colson walked back through and out the front door with his car keys in hand. You stared blankly at the fireplace in front of you, feeling like he’d just left with a piece of your heart.

You glanced up at Rook with an expressionless face when he walked into the room. He smiled sadly seeing the hurt in your eyes and nodded his head towards the kitchen. “C’mon. Let’s kick it like old times. I think you need it,” he demanded, not moving an inch until you stood up and followed him.

He grabbed two beers, one for you and himself, then led you to the gorgeous backyard where the other guys were waiting. The sat around the table on the patio with white Christmas lights illuminating the area. The tiki torches scattered around the edge of the pool were lit and casting a glow over the water. There was music playing softly from the out door speakers as they conversed. You took a seat to the right of Slim and Rook took the seat to your own right.

Slim offered you a smile and patted your knee then tapped his beer bottle against yours. You took an drink of the bitter liquid and leant back against the soft cushions of the patio chair. You were quiet for the most part, only speaking when spoken to, but you listened to conversation happening. Two blunts ended up getting passed around and you took a few hits off of it.

After three more beers, you got up silently and walked over to the pool. You kicked off your shoes and sat down at the edge at the stairs while sticking your feet in the warm water. You stared at the reflection of the fires flickering off the water and let your mind wander.

Rook sat at his chair and watched you with a frown making its way onto his face. Occasionally he responded to his friends who were trying to talk to him, but he was too worried about you. He eventually got up and walked over to where you sat. He rolled up his jeans and stepped into the water then sat down beside you. You glanced over at him with a forced smile before looking down at your lap.

“It’s okay to be sad you know,” Rook stated after taking a swig from his beer.

You didn’t respond for a moment and let out a dry chuckle. “Why does it hurt so much?” you asked quietly and leaned over, resting your head against the tattooed drummer’s broad shoulder.

“Because it was real,” Rook answered and rested his head on yours. “You two have something special that no one else understands. He’ll come back around, he always does,” he continued, recalling times Colson had done this in the past.

Only this time you didn’t know if it would be the same. Every time Colson pushes you away it drove a wedge deeper and deeper between you two. He was once your best friend in the whole world and was now becoming a stranger to you. You let out a sigh as Rook wrapped his arm around you and gave you a squeeze, leaving his hand on your waist.

“Thank you,” you told your friend. Rook had always been there for you when Colson wasn’t. He was your shoulder to cry on and made you laugh when you needed it most. He was becoming your rock.

“Always,” Rook responded with a smile, the both of you taking another drink from your beers at the same time.

[cantyou-saveme]

((this could be done with any pics of them))

[merrygoroundxx]

Colson Baker x Reader

“I don’t want to feel anymore.”

A/N: this little short (not really, it’s actually quite long) shows a very very very soft kells. it also mentions suicidal thoughts so you’ve been warned

Empty.

All you felt was emptiness. An overwhelming numb feeling had spread through your whole body and chilled you to the core. You had been in bed for two days already, going on three. A glass of water sat untouched on the nightstand that someone had brought in but you didn’t know who. You hadn’t eaten or slept. All you did was lay in the dark and cry.

Your boyfriend of three years had left you for another woman that he’d been sleeping with for almost a year three days ago. Your sister, whom you hadn’t spoken to in six years, called you and told you your mother had passed away the next day. It was too much for your mind to take. The whiskey didn’t even take the pain away anymore so you let it overcome you. The pill bottles in your medicine cabinet were starting to call your name, whispering to you in the dark in the middle of the night.

Downstairs, there was a meeting going on. Colson stood in the kitchen, bracing the weight of his body with his hands against the counter. Slim stood against the opposite counter with his arms crossed over his chest. Rook, Dub and Dre sat at the bar stools on the other side of the counter that Colson stood at. It was tense, they were all silent. Something they weren’t used to.

“Has she left her room?” Colson questioned as he kept his eyes on the granite in front of him. He had been in the studio most of the time, writing and record their fourth album. He knew you wanted your space but it was becoming hard to when he feared you were going to do something stupid.

Dre shook his head in response and rubbed his forehead. “She hasn’t eaten either. Rook took her some water yesterday and she didn’t touch it,” he told him.

Slim squeezed his eyes shut as he listened. He was on the verge of tears at the thought of his best friend hurting so bad she was letting her body slowly break down. He rubbed his eyes roughly and his voice cracked as he asked, “What do we do?”

Without answering, Colson walked away from the kitchen and to the staircase. He climbed the steps, his feet feeling more and more like bricks every time he took a step. He walked down the hallway and stopped outside your door. His hand lingered over the doorknob as he debated wether or not to go in.

You saw the sliver of light appear on the wall when the door opened, a show appearing on the wall as whoever stood in the doorway. The door shut slowly and you could feel their presence move across the room then your lamp switched on. It gave the room a dull orange glow.

Colson stood beside your bed staring at your tank top covered back. Your blanket was pulled up around your waist as you laid on your side facing the wall. He let out a small breath and slowly climbed onto the bed beside you. You didn’t move or say a word, not even flinching when his hand reached out and brushed your matted hair away from your pale face.

Colson wasn’t an affectionate person. He wasn’t a cuddler and he rarely got sentimental. But when it came to you that all changed. You were his best friend and he loved you as much as he loved Casie. So when you felt his warm tattooed arm wrap around your waist and pull you close, the waterfall of tears started all over again. He held you so close you could feel his heart beating against your back as he nuzzled his nose into your hair.

You let out a shaky breath and slowly brought your hand up to his that rested on your stomach. You wrapped your much smaller hand around his large fingers and held on tightly. “Talk to me,” Colson whispered in to your hair. He said it so quietly you wouldn’t have heard him if his mouth wasn’t basically pressed against the back of your head.

Your bottom lip quivered as you opened your mouth and tried to speak. You swallowed thickly and tried again, saying the only thing you could think of. “I don’t want to feel anymore,” your voice was hoarse from not speaking for three days. “Everything hurts but feels absolutely numb at the same time. I don’t want to do this anymore, K. I just want to d-disappear,” you were sobbing by the time you’d gotten the words out.

Colson felt his own heart break at the broken tone in your voice. His own eyes teared up and he squeezed them shut as he held you tighter while you shook in his arms. He let you cry it out for as long as it took until you finally stilled in his arms once more. He slowly pulled back and sat up on the bed, his hand slowly slipping from your grasp and making it cold once again. “Look at me,” he demanded but his tone was pleading and not harsh.

You slowly turned over into your back and your puffy, bloodshot and red rimmed eyes met his cerulean colored ones. Colson reached up and rested his large hand against your cheek as his thumb wiped away your tears. “You have to feel. You have to let that pain in and it is going to overwhelm you and you’re going to want to die but you have to fight. You have to fight those demons and you have to think of all the good,” he told you, his eyes never leaving yours. “You have us, (Y/N). We love you so fucking much and we’re here going out of our damn minds worried about you. We are your family. We are here for you no matter what. We will be your shoulders to cry on and carry you through this for as long as we have to. You’re going to miss your mom. You’re gonna miss her forever but you have your memories of her and you have to know that she’s watching over you for the rest of your life. And fuck that piece of dog shit who did you dirty.”

You cracked a smile for the first time in a week as more tears cascaded out of your eyes. Colson brought his other hand up and continued to wipe them away as he caressed your cheeks. The corners of his lips turned up slightly and he leant down to kiss your forehead softly. “These are the first steps of healing, okay?” he told you and watched you nod a bit. “Why don’t we get you in the bath, yeah?”

You nodded again and watched Colson climb over you to get out of the bed. He slid one arm under your knees and the other behind your back then lifted you up bridal style and carried you into the bathroom attached to your room. For as scrawny as he looked, that man had some muscle on him.

After he set you on the countertop, you watched as the tattooed man walked over to the bathtub and turned on the water. He waited until it was the proper temperature before plugging the drain and letting it fill. As it did, he walked back over to you and slowly lifted your tank top over your head. You weren’t uncomfortable, it was nothing he hadn’t seen before, but it wasn’t sexual. He was helping you and it warmed your heart to know he cared about you so much.

Colson helped you off the counter and slid your shorts and panties down your legs. You used his shoulders to brace yourself since your knees felt like jello. He then walked you over to the tub and turned the water off before helping you in. He kneeled down beside the tub as you lent back and he washed your hair for you. You let your eyes flutter shut as his calloused finger worked through your hair. Neither of you spoke nor minded it.

After Colson was done helping you bathe, he wrapped you in a towel and walked you back into your room. He ordered you to sit on your bed and pulled out a clean pair of underwear and sweatpants for you to put on. He handed you one of the Lace Up tour shirts you had in the drawers and his eyes lit up as he thought of something. “I’ll be right back,” he told you before running out of your room and down the hall. You heard his heavy feet on the floor as he ran back with one of his black crew necks in his hand.

“I know how much you love this sweater,” he breathed as he handed it to you. You smiled and pulled the large article of clothing over your head. Your hands didn’t reach the bottom of the sleeves at all and it practically looked like a dress on you, but you didn’t care. The smell of his usual body wash and cologne brought you a sense of safety.

Colson went to the bathroom and grabbed your hair brush then sat beside you and turned your body away from him. He ran the brush through your hair slowly, making sure to get out all of the tangles but not pulling hard enough to hurt you. Once he was done, he set the brush on the bed and turned you back to face him. You were fumbling with the ends of the crew neck and staring down on your hands. He used his fingers to tilt your head up and meet his eyes. “You hungry?” he asked with a smile at how small and innocent you looked when he knew the real you.

“I could eat,” you spoke softly but clearly for the first time.

Colson’s smile grew as he stood up and offered you his hand. You smiled as well and slid your hand into his, standing and following him out of your room. You walked down the stairs with his hand held tightly in your grasp as you trailed behind him. The two of you walked through the living room and into the kitchen where Slim, Rook, Dub and Dre were still hanging out.

At the sight of you, everyone stood from their seats quickly with wide eyes. Colson rolled his eyes and sighed loudly as he pulled a bar stood around by the stove for you to sit on. You mustered up a smile to the rest of your friends and toyed with the sleeves of the crew neck again. Slim walked over, smile never leaving his face as he leant down and pressed a kiss to your cheek. “It’s good to see you, princess,” he whispered before pulling away and walking to the fridge. He pulled out two beers and cracked them open, offering the second one to you which you took.

“Whatcha in the mood for, babygirl? Burgers? Steak? Spaghetti?” Colson asked as he leant against the counter beside you and stared down at you.

“Says the man who can’t cook to save his life,” Dub remarked and everyone laughed. It felt good to laugh, you thought.

“Steak and mashed potatoes sounds amazing. Oo! And steamed broccoli and carrots,” you answered enthusiastically, bringing wider smiles to everyones faces.

“Ask and you shall receive!” Rook exclaimed and bowed down to you as if you were a queen.

A giggle escaped your lips and Colson watched you with a goofy, toothy smile on his face. With that, the boys started cooking and you didn’t have to move a muscle. Dre played some music through his beats speaker and you all spent the night cooking, conversing and drinking beers. You felt like a weight was slowly being lifted off of your shoulders being around the guys you loved; your family.

Colson set your full plate in front of you at the dining table where you all sat around after the food was done. Aj, Basil, Irv and Ashleigh ended up showing up as well. The tall tattooed rapper kissed your cheek as he sat beside you and stayed close as you ate, always looking over to make sure you were okay every now and again. In that moment you thanked God for bringing those beautiful people into your life.

[merrygoroundxx]

Colson Baker x Reader

“Why do you have a bra in your hand?”

You were currently sitting in the back of the tour bus where the large tv and game consoles were. Rookie was playing Zombies on the Xbox with Dre while you sat next to Slim, scrolling through your social medias. The bus was steadily bouncing under you as you traveled to your next destination.

Suddenly, Colson came bursting into the room with a grin on his face directed at you. You and Slim shared a confused look noticing the black bra in his hand. His brunette hair was pulled back into his usual man bun and he had a bandana tied around his forehead.

“Uh, have you been going through my stuff again?” you asked and pointed at the bra. “Why do you have a bra in your hand?”

“No,” Colson responded all too quickly and then shook his head. “Okay, yes, but look!” he excitedly held the bra up for you to see.

He had taken white paint and put EST on one cup of the bra and the double x logo on the other. He then turned it around and showed you where he’d painted on the back lacy part. You hummed and tilted your head a bit, actually liking how it looked.

“I actually like that. But I don’t like that you ruined my only black bra,” you answered and sent the y’all male a glare.

Colson scoffed and dropped his arms, giving you a look that said ‘really?’. “I’ll buy you a new one. Go try it on! I wanna see how it’ll look,” he demanded and tossed the bra to you with it landing on Slim’s lap instead.

“You just want an excuse to see me half naked.”

“Hey I mean, I wouldn’t complain. But it’s nothing I haven’t seen before,” Colson responded and sent you a wink.

You snatched the bra from Slim with a scowl as him and Colson laughed. You shoved past him and went to the bathroom so you could put the bra on. Once it was securely on your chest, you looked in the mirror and smiled at how good the design actually looked. Granted it was a bit messy because they were on a shaky bus, but it could actually work if they decided to print and sell bras for merch.

“Colson Baker did you really just do something here?” you stated as you walked through the isle of bunks and back to the back room.

All of the guys turned to look and their eyes widened but no one said anything. They looked like fish out of water starting at your cleavage. Let’s just say you weren’t very.... flat chested. “Are you gonna say anything you pervs?” you snapped and put your hands on your hips.

“Looks amazing!”

“I love it!”

“Wow.”

“You look sick!”

They all spoke at once and you smiled. You were adjusting the straps on your shoulders when you heard the camera shutter on a phone going off. Your head snapped up and you looked at Colson, who was not so subtly taking pictures of your half naked torso. “Kells, no!” you quickly reached for his phone but he held it away from you.

“Lemme take a few! I wanna know if the fans would cop ‘em,” he pleaded and childishly pouted his lips at you.

With a roll of your eyes you stood up straight and modeled for about three pictures that were surly better than the ones he’d caught of you off guard. You watched as he posted the pictures and asked the fans if they liked it and you went to go change back into a shirt. As you walked down the hallway you heard he and Slim snickering.

“Aye, (Y/N), the fans like your tits!” Slim called, followed by bountiful amounts of laughter.

“Fuck off!” You yelled back through a laugh and rolled your eyes.

Oh how you loved your family.