On his qualities as a coach: “Well, I’m handsome, tall, friendly, Asturian…”
On his preferred result for the Madrid derby: “I’d like both teams to lose the Madrid derby.”
On his transfer from Real Madrid to Barcelona: “It wasn’t [hard to leave], it was easy.”
On the infamous Figo pig’s head incident: “It was strange that they only threw the pig’s head; I thought they might throw the whole pig!”
On his crazy celebration after scoring at the Bernabeu: “I do not care what these people think. I am proud to wear the shirt of Barcelona and score a goal in the Bernabeu.”
On the possibility of a comeback against PSG: “If they scored four in Paris, we can score six.”
On fans chanting his name at the Camp Nou: “They are always the same 100-150 people who are doing that, I’ve paid them…”
On Jordi Alba’s red card: “The player has explained to me that he said ‘always to me’ and that, unless it is the name of a horror movie, is not a reason to send someone off.”
On Real Madrid president Lorenzo Sanz’s criticism of his celebration at the Bernabeu: “If he wants then I can cry.”
On seeing himself in white: “I see myself in pictures and TV wearing the Madrid shirt in the past and I feel strange. I think the scarlet and blue shirt suits me better.”
On criticism: “I never read criticism on me. My doctor told me not to do so.”
On Messi comparisons: “He’s just different. It’s ridiculous that they’re comparing awards, golden melons, whatever it is that they want to compare.”
On Santos asking for Neymar to be banned for 6 months: “As asking is free, they better ask for 6 years…”
On training with GPS vests: “It’s to make sure we don’t lose anyone.”
On whether he tells Sergi Roberto about his own experiences at right back: “I don’t tell players the stories of grandpa Luis Enrique, they’re outdated.”
On Juve’s rotation before the Champions League match: “I would recommend them to rest [Higuain], Cuadrado, Dybala, Mandzukic (…) all these players against Barcelona. That’s what I would recommend and that way they would be much fresher for their league games. That’s my advice, but I don’t know if they will take it.”
On Messi’s influence: “Messi is decisive even when he is at home eating dinner.”
On whether he plans to watch the Madrid derby: “If I don’t take a nap I’ll watch it.”
On interest in Paco Alcacer: “I don’t normally comment on players that are not here. If I changed that rule I’d have to talk about 543 strikers and 200 more wingers who have been mentioned in the press.”
When a journalist fell asleep at his press conference: “Look, that’s never happened to me before, a guy sleeping in the press conference! It’s the first time (…) How great (…) Damn, I know the press conference of the manager is boring, but this much?”
On why he substituted Messi during the last few minutes of El Clasico: “Because Real Madrid fans paid to see the true legend.”
On his plans for the future: “I am open to any possibility, even changing sports. I could coach in another sport, I’m quite good at other sports.”
On next season: “I’ll sit in my seats at the Camp Nou and support the team.”
