Lots of times in scenes someone will sayĀ āIs this aboutā¦?ā Itās an offer. Ā You SHOULD notice it and consider it, though you donāt HAVE to accept it.
Lisa: I cut my own hair this morning. And I donāt know what to do, should I⦠how does it look?
Gwen: I feel like when Iāve had bad haircuts I donāt want people to lie to me when it happens, and itās not good.
Lisa: Okay, I accept the fact that it doesnāt look great.
Gwen: It does NOT look great. But youāre still very pretty. You have really good bone structure. I just moved to this neighborhood that has a lot of Orthodox Jews and they have a lot of wig stores.
Lisa: Letās GET a wig then! Letās get a wig!
Gwen: Yeah, letās get a wig.
Lisa: Do you have any? Do you just⦠happen to have some?
So that last sentence there is Gwen offering a justification to Lisa.Ā
I USED to suggest you should ALWAYS accept these, unless they directly contradict something we already know. Ā But sometimes people will offer anĀ āis this aboutā¦ā that is so far afield of whatās happening it would derail the scene.Ā
āIs this about how you really want to have sex?ā
āIs this about how you resent me?ā
āIs this about you hating your kids?ā
If itās nowhere close to what you are thinking and feeling, itās okay to reject these offers. Iād rather you stay committed to your character and scene.Ā
I DO think itās good form to yes-and some part of it if you can.
āIn the past, this has been about sex. But right now thatās not at all what Iām thinking about.ā
āI do sometimes resent you, but not right now.ā
āMy kids drive me nuts, but I donāt hate them.ā
I think you should think of theseĀ āIs this aboutā statements like a pass in basketball. If itās close to you, itās worth bending, even lunging, to catch it. But if itās way off, youāre not doing the team any favors running all the way across the court. Your partner just threw it out of bounds. Move on.
Or maybe itās like someone offering you food at a party? Accepting it is gracious, dismissing it without even thinking about it is rude, but if youāre allergic to this particular food or really full ā itās okay to politely decline.