Just Call Me Messy @messitydepressity - Tumblr Blog

The Last of Us Master List - the flavors of angst 🖤

Please check the tags on my works before reading as I often cover some darker material that might be triggering for some. All of the works that have been rated explicit contain graphic, sexual, or triggering content.

Please feel free to come scream into the void with me!

-Messy 🖤

⬇️ Works below line break ⬇️

#should I be sleeping?#yeah #but I made this master list of my Fics instead #the last of us #tlou fanfiction #ellie williams #joel miller #joel and ellie #pedro pascal #bella ramsey

Please take care of you first! I am a huge fan of your work and will gladly wait centuries to read anything you write. Having flare ups is the worst and I understand the need/want to push ourselves through them. But this fandom owes you the world for giving us such beautiful gifts from your writing! We all love you and will patiently wait for you. I am also so down to read anything you want to write! I am an addict to your works 💜 also, forever in debt to you for my obsession with baby Ellie

Baby Ellie!! May she reign indefinitely.

Glad I could share the baby Ellie fever, sorry that I have sparked the obsession because she's a rare gem in the fandom lol.

If you ever need a hit, @ketchupchipsaregross & @penandinkprincess both have a few great little/baby Ellie fics that I adore immensely (and I'm sure there are other authors as well, but 'tis late and my brain is fried.)

And thank you! For enjoying my brain rot with me, for having such kind things to say about it, and for being understanding!

I appreciate the patience and love and reassurance, Anon. <3

#And I am also sorry that you are aware of the joy that is a 'flare up'#the last of us #tlou fanfiction #messy answers things

Tess and Joel's sex is always a little mean and I cannot be swayed.

It's not because they're angry with each other (though, there has definitely been some pissed off, mid fight hate-fucking) and it's not even because they have some sort of shared pain kink.

They bite, claw, scratch, pinch, shove - ride that damn line because it reminds them that they are alive. That they are survivors. Pain is how they keep going, pain is a motivator, and pain is something that tells them that what they're feeling is real.

Her nails raking down his back to leave welted skin and beads of shallow blood is a silent desperation to cling to a fragile intimacy she can't have any other time, a feral drive to live in a moment where the hurt is controlled and the pleasure drowns it out. His teeth scraping at her chin, at her neck, at her chest is a need to claim, a want to mark her as his - a way for him to convince himself that she can't leave him like everyone else has because he's left a piece of himself on her skin that binds them together inexplicably.

In the daylight, they're five feet apart and focused on survival, but in the dark of their sheets, they're desperate to climb into one another's skin even if it stings a little to get there.

#Sometimes I feel bad for Tommy because I just know he's overheard them fuck-fighting or even maybe has walked in on it #The little brother trauma he can't bleach from his brain #joel x tess #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #fic shit that I think about sometimes

animentality

#Fandom is a dying culture that's being forced into small group chats and closed servers for all of the reasons above #and that makes it a lonely place to exist because those things are not inclusive #but I digress

Ashes to Ashes - Chapter Seven: Thinned Veil

Ellie and Frank on the chopping block 🔪🙂

#the last of us #tlou fanfiction #joel and ellie #tess and ellie #grave gremlin is back again #joel miller #ellie williams #joel x tess #Bill x Frank #<- they’re around #ao3 #tlou #tlou hbo

Tommy: I feel like I’d make a good dad.

Joel: I guess we’ll find out.

NO 🗞️. Bad Joel 🫵🏻. Your line was congratulations, you’ve got this — you’ll make a great dad, hermano. You fuckin’ idget.

#GUESS WHAT EPISODE IM REWATCHING #Kin is a fave for a reason (or five)#Florence and Marlon are two of those reasons #the last of us #joel miller #tommy miller #tlou #tlou hbo #pedro pascal #gabe luna

lipsredxasarose

my religion is butter, garlic, cheese

messitydepressity

Amen.

If this goddamn experian ad on here gets triggered ONE MORE FUCKING TIME.

I’m gon’ lose it. 🙂

#it’s like an overexcited man coming in his pants from just the thought of a woman’s touch #tumblr ads #they’re pissing me off #not fic shit

mhbcr

Don’t use AI to write. Use childhood trauma like a real poet.

#one day I’m gonna work Smotherations into a fic and y’all are gonna be baffled #or horrified #it’s either one or the other

noavaart

Got told to try out this site so here we are

#the last of us #joel miller #the last of us fanart #artists on tumblr #fanart

toddsolondz

i’m like a clown that no one hired or pays

#how I feel everytime I try to socialize within fandom #I just can’t figure out how to people the right way #queue the mess

memequeen-official

#queue the mess

Your theory about Joel’s abusive past makes so much sense! As a DV survivor, I have reacted in the same way as Joel many times. The stepping back from Tess? I’ve done that with people I know logically are safe and care about me. I could never put someone else through the abuse I went through. I’d rather take the pain vs letting someone else I love suffer. This headcannon is so fascinating to me.

Anon, I’m so sorry that you had to live through that, but so happy to hear that it sounds like you’ve made it to the other side. 🫂🖤

I’ve never experienced DV in a romantic relationship, but I have in the shitty parent way. Growing up, I had a parent that was not only very heavy handed in their corporal punishments but also excelled at the phrase ‘spittin’ mad’ and then got a whopping dose of emotional fuckery from the other half of that equation. And yeah, I still flinch when voices get raised or hands move too fast and I still subconsciously step away to preserve my own safety.

Shit, I still catch myself putting my hands over my ears when shit gets heated, and I really don’t even mean to. It becomes instinct after a while to do those things, and it’s hard to shake those habits that once felt like a protection.

Which is why I always assumed, along with plenty of others in this fandom, that he had an abusive childhood to some extent, and season two of the show confirmed that for us.

It’s an unfortunate statistic that kids who grow up that way find relationships that head down the same dark path, and something about Joel’s tendencies scream that he had to break the pattern the hard way to me. And I think it’s because their mother was their father's first victim. (Not that I enjoy labeling her as such, the stigma around that a whole other thing to unpack).

Joel, even as a small child, no doubt tried to put himself between his mom and the violence of his father, and it would also stand to reason that when he got big enough and old enough, he started returning the violence in kind.

He would not lay a hand on his romantic partners or his kids (of which, I often tend to consider Tommy one despite the fact that I am sure they’ve come to blows at some point, but also fully believe that the punches would be pulled), but he’d kill a sumbitch for having that audacity, even his own father.

At least, post outbreak Joel would.

ANYWAY.

Before I continue this rant that never seems to end, it’s shitty that you've been forced to learn how to recognize those tendencies from personal experience, I hope you’re safe now and stay safe, and if you ever want to pick apart Joel, or any other TLOU character, feel free to drop your thoughts.

Appreciate the ask, Anon. 🖤🖤🖤🖤