JUST THE FACTS ABOUT THE BUTT
Today I will begin driving a butt across the United States of America. It is a large butt. It is 14-feet tall, 15-feet long, 8-feet wide and weighs 1600 lbs. It’s actually a double butt. It’s got a butt on both sides. A front butt and a back butt. So no matter what angle you see it from, you get all the butt.
The entire journey is a part of a pilot I’m making for Comedy Central called, “Better. Dumber. Faster. with Kurt Braunohler”. The show is all about inserting absurdity into stranger’s lives to make this bleak world a little bit brighter. So we’re driving a butt across America. For no other reason than it’s dumb and funny and hopefully will surprise people. I will be joined on the journey by my co-creator and show runner, Scotty Landes, and my wife, Lauren Cook
I have no idea what this will be like. It’s a large, flat-bed truck I’ll be driving. I’ve never driven a large, flat-bed truck. Much less a large, flat-bed truck with a giant butt on it. So here’s our proposed route - who knows if we’ll be able to stick to this schedule. We’re gonna try. We’re dropping the butt off in my mom’s driveway in New Jersey. She is not aware of this yet.
June 30th - Las Vegas, NV
July 3rd - Kansas City, MO
July 4th - Louisville, KY
July 5th - Charlottesville, VA
July 6th - Washington DC (mid-day) and Asbury Park NJ (night)
If you run a comedy show on any of those nights in any of those towns, send me a message and maybe I’ll bring the butt by and do a set. Or if you’re just having a party for the 4th of July, I’ll bring the butt over and you can do body shots off the crack. If you see the butt, take a picture and tag it #TheLoveButt. I’ll be sending updates from the road on Twitter (@kurtbraunohler) and Instagram. Follow me there to get the whole journey of #TheLoveButt. I now welcome all of your horrible ass puns.
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