Warning! This blog may contain harmful content pertaining to drvg abuse, self h4rm, and dark subject matter
Proceed anyway?
Hello, you all might know me as Dorian. I'm 5teen, I use he/him pronouns and I was the 'ip banned from jiraiblr' guy.
I am autistic, I have gone through multiple traumas in my life, and I have svbstance abuse issues.
I'm very prone to jealousy when it comes to the people I've decided are in a certain role in my life. I get attached fast when I believe you find me amusing.
My current fandoms are:
BSD, Black butler, Deathnote, Renmei Haebane, Madoka magika
I like:
Rock climbing, tennis, guitar, reading (I like manga and classic literature the most, gimme recommendations),Malice Mizer, The manic street preachers, Maretu, science (PLEASE ask about science) and other stuff I forgot.
Here is me, real not fake
My tags (block accordingly):
SH content ~ ✶♫⋆“Such beautiful dignity in self abuse”✶♫⋆
Substance/alcohol abuse content (this includes high/drunkposting) ~ ✶♫⋆“Heroin is just too trendy”✶♫⋆
Yearning?~ ✶♫⋆“Junkies, winos, whores; the nation's moral suicide”✶♫⋆
Answering asks ~ ✶♫⋆“the only way to gain approval is by exploiting the very thing that cheapens me”✶♫⋆
Regular yapping ~ ✶♫⋆“I eat and I dress and I wash and I still can say thank you”✶♫⋆
Vents ~ ✶♫⋆“There's no part of my body that has not been used”✶♫⋆
Yan stuff/intense affectionate or jealous ranting, etc ~ ✶♫⋆“(s)he is suffering for your love...”✶♫⋆
Honestly I've been in a similar position when I was younger, I was a really horrible person when I was like 12-14, and I've come a long way since then ^^ I think it's kind of important to remember the past doesn't have to define the future? So if you've BEEN a shit friend, it doesn't mean you're always destined to be a shit friend.
But I'm glad to hear that you're happier now than you had been! That's always good, even if it's not by very much.
(I feel special, a tag from Dorian? /Silly/lh)
- 🍋
This is true this is true, I'm trying my hardest.
tw substance abuse and talk of suicide ideation (this isn't that sad, I'm just yapping)
I try to not push myself too hard but it's rough because when I'm high I can run at 2000% my maximum capacity. it makes me forget limits like pain, sleep, hunger, thirst, which is dangerous. I like it a lot.
Maybe I'm a junkie for bringing everything back to drugs but my worldview is HEAVILY shaped by the substance I depend on.
What can I say?
while I'm sober it's different, but I forget I can't do things the same which leads to me overestimating myself a bit, aha... I have a bit of an ego when it comes to academics I think. I always need to prove that I matter or else I become really suicidal. Not because I want to die but if I don't matter then I might as well have killed myself a long time ago, Iguess. This is dark. My bad gang lmao
𐔌♡ ⃟ྀི͚̊ ask game for jiraiblr & yanblr. 💉🩸( །' ✚ o𓏼 )
triage ⟡ what is your mental process when going about your day? are you an organized person?
antiseptic ♡ how easily do you become dependent on someone? what traits makes someone, in your eyes, dependable?
ampoule ⟡ what sort of attention makes you feel the most seen and validated?
prescription ♡ do you want to be admired, or does that make you feel anxious?
medic ⟡ what is your most self-destructive habit?
sugar ♡ do you have a type? what sort of person intrinsically draws you in?
daisy ⟡ do you find comfort in being taken care of, or would you prefer to take care of someone else?
ㅤ ◌࣭✿⃞゙♡ׄ 🌡️𝆺𝅥𝅮｡𝄢 statements ! ☾⏜⁔࣭۫ೄׂ݁݁♡ִɞ
you deserve to be coddled and catered to!
i would love to wrap you in blankets and squeeze you tight.
you're so admirable, akin to an idol. you brighten my day.
every trait constituent of your person is lovable!
your heart is beautiful.
I don't want you to be taken away from me
I don't want you to go
Please stop it, stop talking like that. I miss you I miss you just please don't leave now stop talking to her. stop it. stop talking to her now. this is an order.
outfit today
I'm a firm believer in the fact you don't have to eat sleep and shit jirai or alt or goth to be any of those things. Like dress it sometimes if you want, listen to the music and live the lifestyle associated that kind of thing but like. sometimes I just get tired.
