hashiras react to your insecurities / angst to comfort, part 2
x gender neutral reader, part 2 of 3!
part 1, part 3 - part 3 not yet posted, will add once it is!
a/n - i favorited sanemi SO MUCH in this so i am SOOO SORRY
⚠️ body images, insecurities ⚠️
Muichiro Tokito - insecure of looks
You sat silently on the engawa of your estate. You were a newly appointed hashira and everything was already weighing down on you so hard. When you went to your first meeting, everyone greeted you. Including Mitsuri and Shinobu. The two of them were both very beautiful. You felt horribly ugly in comparasion.
You wanted to cry and cry and cry.
You sat alone there for a few minutes until you heard someone approaching. You didn’t move, didn’t reach for your sword, didn’t do anything.
You turned your head around and saw Muichiro entering the room. You didn’t respond to him. He sat down next to you and you just stared outside. It was silent for a few minutes, until something changed that.
“Are you okay?”, he asked.
Your expression changed to a shocked one for a second, before looking down at your lap in embarrassment. You were unsure about opening up to him before he spoke again.
“I know that you’re not.”
You hadn’t realized it, but you had been clenching your shoulders up. They slowly fell back to normal.
“You can talk to me, y/n.”
You turned around to face him, still embarrassed. You began to pour your heart out to him, explaining how you felt miserable and ugly. How you couldn’t stop comparing yourself to the two of them. He stayed sitting there just listening to you.
You finished speaking, and without realizing, your eyes were watering. Tears falling down quickly. You didn’t even want to look at Muichiro. You were embarrassed, and too vulnerable.
All of a sudden, he reached out to you and pulled you into a hug, patting your head.
“Y/n…I think you’re really pretty. You shouldn’t compare yourself to them. You’ll always be beautiful to me, okay?”, he said to you. You were still sobbing into his chest, but then he brought his hands up to your cheeks and pulled you up to look at him. He was squeezing your cheeks just a little bit, while also wiping your tears.
He softly smiled at you, a comforting feeling slowly resonating in you.
“Muichiro…hic..are you sure?”, you said, stuttering out a few words.
“Of course I am.”, he said, sternly, while running his fingers through your hair.
You stayed in his lap, his arms wrapped tightly around him.
everything about him was so comforting.
Tengen Uzui - insecure about body
You were alone at your shared home, with Tengen. The other wives had gone out shopping, you decided to stay inside. This perplexed all four of them. You have been acting much differently lately. Had they done something wrong? Tengen was confused and concerned, so he decided to sit you down and ask you about it. Delaying would be far too unflashy.
“Y/n? What is the matter? You’ve been behaving so...different.”, he said to you, trying to be very careful of the words he spoke.
“Nothing’s wrong, Tengen.”, you told him, avoiding his gaze.
“Don’t lie to me, angel. It’s not very flashy…besides, I know that that is not the truth.”, he told you.
You let out a small sigh, knowing that the truth would have to come out sooner or later.
Taking a bit of time, you slowly explained to him how you felt. Whenever you went out with the 4 of them, you saw all of these beautiful women. With pretty faces and perfect bodies. It made your gut and your heart hurt. Having to look in the mirror every morning and be disappointed.
After a few minutes, you finished explaining how you felt. You looked up to him and your eyes widened a bit. He was looking at you with a…unreadable expression. He was staring at you with shock, but to you it just looked like disgust. Now you felt worse about yourself.
You were getting too embarrassed and stood up to leave the room, tears in the corner of your eyes. But before you could leave, he grabbed your wrist and spun you around, stopping you from leaving..
“Y/n, how could you say that about yourself? That’s not true at all. You’re beautiful. Every part of you. We all think that, and we’ll never think otherwise.”, he told you.
Yep, now you were crying.
You were still standing, but his words made you want to sit down and cry. So you did. You collapsed into his lap and he held you. He wiped away your tears and left soft kisses behind, comforting you even further.
Sanemi Shinazugawa - insecure about scars (this can be read as platonic at the beginning)
“Hey, the hell’s going on with you?”, an interrupting voice said. You were sitting in your estate, until none other than the wind pillar walked in.
“Why aren’t you out training? Is it too hot outside? Come on. Don’t be such a chicken.”, he said to you. You sat with your back facing him. You weren’t responding to him, so he began to get annoyed. He began to walk around so he could face you.
“Hey? Did you hear me? I said-”
He stopped mid sentence upon seeing you. You looked so sad. Your nose was red and your eyes were so puffy. You’d been crying for a really long time. Sanemi’s expression softened upon seeing you. He wasn’t really sure what to do, so he just sat down next to you.
“Hey. What’s wrong?”, he asked you quietly, his voice much softer than before. He watched you as you pointed down to your legs and then at your arms. He hadn’t even realized that you had rolled your sleeves up. It took him a second, but then he realized what you were pointing at.
Scars all over your body. After having to look at them again, you began to cry once more.
“Well what’s wrong with ‘em?”, he asked you. You took a minute, and then responded.
“I look ugly. Like..really really bad, Sanemi. I’ve had so many people tell me that no one wants to marry a woman with scars.”, you admitted to him. He stayed silent for a minute.
“That isn’t true, y/n. You really are an idiot. You’re not ugly. And why are you even thinking about marriage? You’re a hashira.”, he told you. His words felt comforting for a second, but then they kinda felt like a slap to the face.
“I’m not going to be a demon slayer forever. I’m going to die one day. I don’t want to leave behind nothing. Who’s going to tell my story if I have no one left? I want to have a family someday. To be happy. To feel how it is to live without demons. But nobody is going to want to marry me.”, you explained to him.
Being as hashira was nice. Knowing you had strength and power. Saving lives. Saving families. It was all nice, but it didn’t make that empty feeling go away.
“I already told you, that isn’t true.”, he repeated.
“What are you talking about?”, you looked at him with a frustrated expression. As much as he wanted to get mad at you, he couldn’t. Not when you look like that. Nose all snotty and red from crying. Puffy eyes. Tears spilling. Just looking at you being that hurt made him feel horrible.
“You’re not ugly. These scars, the ones all along your body?”, he said, pointing at your exposed skin. “Yeah, they’re not ugly. You’re stupid if you think so. These scars make you who you are. They show your strength.”, he said, still tracing along them. Your cheeks grew a bit red from his contact.
“And maybe..maybe I know someone who would want to marry you someday.”, he said quietly.
“Who? Is it Tengen?”, you said between sniffles.
“NO!”, he yelled out, pretty loudly..
“I mean…no. Someone else.”, he said, his cheeks beginning to look like a tomato.
“Is it Rengoku?”, you asked him.
“NO! IT’S ME YOU IDIOT!”, he screamed. The two of you remained silent for a moment. You, trying to process what just happened. Him, trying to figure out why the hell that’s the way he confessed.
“Aw…you want to marry me, Sanemi?”, you asked sweetly. Your tears were long gone now.
“Shut it.”, he said coldly, turning away from you, trying to hide his heated face.
You plopped yourself down and laid your head in his lap. He immediately looked down at you, his face completely flushed.
He wasn’t really sure what came over him, but all of a sudden, he grabbed your arms and pulled you up to kiss him. It was rough, but you felt a swirl of emotions inside you. The two of you pulled away, and he leaned down to kiss your forehead.
“Your scars aren’t ugly, dumbass.”
time spent - over an hour but i procrastinated like CRAZY on this
