FYI: I just had a baby.
She was born last Jan 26, 2021. Don’t worry It will not be a labor story at all.
Im still in an awe. The transition from womanhood to motherhood real quick. The sudden shift of responsibilities and many more. I was still in the peak of the roller coaster ride and screaming at the top of my lungs hoping every twist and turn will be a joyride afterall.
Im in a lot of emotions right now so my thoughts will be all over the place.
Firstly. I am so happy. Up to the point I can cry with tears of joy just looking on my baby. Like what the Fuck, I made a human being and that is LIFE. She is too perfect for me. So this is how it feels to love someone you meet for the first time, the one who shares your heartbeat. I could stare at her for hours. Every cries worries me. Im supposed to be good at this because im a neonatal nurse. Im use to hearing those cries. But now its different. Being a mom is a lot more. Right now I am not sure if im doing good. I can’t do this alone. Which made me realized how good my partner was.
I had a difficult pregnancy, I’ve been vomiting for the whole pregnancy. Thinking about food makes me throw up. But I was treated like a princess. He did everything for me. From cooking to washing the dishes. Driving me to work and many more. I was thinking that maybe after this pregnancy I can be myself again, but eventhough he still does everything including cleaning bottles or helping me with pumping. He was so hands on and I was so thankful for that. I was really glad It was Him. I never expect him to be that person he become. He really love me and our daughter. Few days back, since we were still adjusting to our new life both of us with sleep deprived plus me with pain. Unintentionally he scolded me because of petty things I suddenly breakdown and cry. My cry was more on hormonal. I was just fragile that time. He told me he was so sorry and will never do that again I just keep crying on that moment until he told me please stop crying or else im gonna cry. I thought he was just joking on that moment but it wasn’t. He did cry hard while kneeling and keep on saying sorry. I didn’t expect that. No one cry for me like that. We where both exhausted that time. And I know it was also too much for him to handle. But we must keep our sanity going. There’s only two of us. And so this is how you build a family.













