BEHAVIOR HEALTH BENEFITS TREAT THOSE IN NEED WRONG
I have struggling with Mental Health Illness all my life starting as a child. I remember my mom struggling with Manic Depression when I was younger and had serious mental scars from when I was 9 that have haunted all my life - I am 52 now. My mom struggled with religion, the bible, and serious episodes of anger and depression. I remember my mom would punish my dad and I when I sinned. I would loose a shirt that my mom gave me. I would required along with my dad to ask God and mom for forgiveness for my wrong doing of loosing a shirt and my dads sin of the bible in not punishing me. When we prayed to my mom and God we sometimes were not specific and my mom would demand me to be specific in confession to my mom and God. My dad would say, please forgive my sins but my mom would slap him and say he was not specific enough. Later in life, I dealt with serious depression, suicidal tendencies, hospitalizations, and numerous medications. I attempted suicide by stabbing myself in 2015 for loosing my job in Florida of 12 years and returning to nothing in VA with no income, a serious co-dependency issue, and a feeling of worthlessness and chemical dependencies. I was in patient to over 20 hospitals over my life for behavioral health issue with the majority being suicidal and chemical dependencies.
I hate psychiatrists and choose primary doctors for my medications. I will not tolerate my insurance or anyone paying for psychiatrists as they spend less then 5 minutes with their patients. Learn to spend more time or do not treat patients at all!!!!! I want licensed counsellors when spend time with you and the insurance industry has treated behavioral issues with complete disregard and I do not like it. MENTAL AWARENESS MEANS TO ME DEALING WITH THIS ISSUE!!!! All the Medicare and private insurance companies give too much emphasis on a category referred to as SPECIALISTS with co pays $25 and higher. Most will not dare to get any help with amounts this high. A disservice is being provided to patients throughout the world and this is not right. We will continue to have all age groups mishandled by the system.
My appreciation for mental health awareness is to know that licensed counselors are speaking to patients on their depression, suicidal issues, etc..... I live near VA Tech and I have seen kids and all ages get angry life and kill others. I submit to you today that this is a direct result of the insurance industry treating individuals as the lowest life on earth by placing BEHAVIORAL HEALTH on the lowest health care provided to others by placing this category as SPECIALISTS. THIS IS WRONG. I just recently found a counselor again and I will only afford $35 once a month. THANKS GOVERNMENTS FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS!!!!!!
My life issues is surrounded by my mental scars growing up, serious co dependency issues, depression, suicidal tendencies as my career and life is gone. I spent the highlight of my career serving management with a variety of improved processes within the industry I developed and succeeded in. I have an MBA, MS I/O Psychology, BS Communications and I am CERTIFIED GREEN BELT IN SIGMA. My career is gone and currently receive SSD but work a PT JOB that unskilled staff work.
I am gay and have dealt with a unhealthy relationship that has hit me to the core but I love him so much and it hurts. I have deep feeling and meaning on life and the issues as well as processes, inspirations, meanings, etc.. See my facebook post:
FACEBOOK POST
The lyrics are shown the same page above. I see a deeper meaning.
Our life is made up of life encounters where we are able to develop friendships and relationships, but lifes branch out away from what we originally had with them. We grow apart. We want to hang out and have expectations for that. However, we have to acknowledge that we will be lonely without to bring us memories and long lasting dealings with each other. We have to gain that inner happiness that we can use when we are lonely . He chorus "...Lonely water, lonely water won't you let us wander Let us hold each other Can stop for a minute and be by your side Let us hold each other..." We can ask others like exs friends lovers relationship to "be by your side" "let us hold each other" can we have that!! I do not think we can have this all the time and we will be lonely from time to time or categorized as this mood of lonely water. This means more to me then just lonely -- this is massive loneliness as water to me encompasses being surrounded everywhere in our lives with loneliness. Then keep in mind that his chorus "...Hold back the river, let me look in your eyes Hold back the river so I
Can stop for a minute and be by your side
Hold back the river, hold back" does not mean literally except hold back the river. To me, the meaning is that we get depressed about our lives and we begin to cry because we have no one from our perspective and I am guilty of this so the words" hold back that river (of cries...") and the words "be your your side" "let us hold each other" contrary to what I said above may be asking for a memory. As easily recognizable in the words "Once upon a different life We rode our bikes into the sky
But now we crawl against the tide Those distant days are flashing by". To me this more then just a memory - this is what we wanted to be, what we dream of being, our childhood, our life. We thought and discussed this with friends as we rode our bikes in the sky--this is not literal--this is what we wanted our of our lives like the house with the white picket fence, an extraordinary life and our dreams. "...and now we crawl against the tide..." We are out in the open waters in our lives and want to come back home but make it to the tide and keep going back and forth. For me, I cry as I never had that house with a white picket fence, I had a productive career with 3 jobs but then lost all of that and now I am older person who is in the same age as many who have died recently in their 50's. What happen if I do not reconnect with my friends from over the years and leave this whole life with nothing to show for in my life. My successful years of 12 years at a dream jobs is LOST, my past success of having love for my family is useless. I cannot show love to my dead parents or my sister who has chosen to never to speak to me again. Everytime I hear this song those feelings, memories come back to me. You know what I think of mostly is my 1st 11 years in Pittsburgh - all my friends lived near me and were born around the same time. We played kick ball in the back yard, slid down the back of houses on Elizabeth street when in this period of time, all my parents ring the bell when dinner was ready - we actually ate together (what happen to this in later generations) went camping with my parents and I invited my fiends on the camping trips, walked to my Elm Grove Elementary, I remember my first grade teacher - Ms Fisher. I remember raising pugs and we had 13 at one time while have a couple litter of puppies. I remember placing the puppies in my TONKA TRUCK and pushing down that bill hill on Elizabeth drive. The puppies flew on that NEW TONKA TRUCK PLAN in my back porch with picnic benches as the platform and run way to everywhere and beyond. After those 11 years and moving to FL then to VA all this was lost in my life!!!
So "we rode my bikes into the sky" is memories to me and the words add to the memories we had as children as this give you a feeling that those dreams and expectations for our life was monumental and wanted more then anything in the world.