𝙸 𝙷𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝙱𝚞𝚒𝚕𝚝 𝚊 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎 (𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙸 𝚆𝚊𝚒𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚁𝚎𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗)
ᴀɴ: ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴀ ᴅʀᴀʙʙʟᴇ ɪ ᴡʀᴏᴛᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴄɢ ꜱᴇʀᴠᴇʀ'ꜱ ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ ʙᴀꜱʜ ʙɪɴɢᴏ ᴇᴠᴇɴᴛ. ɪᴛ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴄᴏɴꜱᴛʀᴀɪɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ 1 ʜᴏᴜʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ꜱᴇᴇ, ɪ'ᴍ ᴀ ꜱʟᴏᴡ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇʀ.
⌯⌲ ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ɢᴇɢᴇ!ᴄᴀʟᴇʙ x ᴍᴄ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
⌯⌲ ᴛᴀɢꜱ: ᴘᴏꜱᴛ ᴇxᴘʟᴏꜱɪᴏɴ, ꜰɪʀꜱᴛ ᴘᴇʀꜱᴏɴ ᴘᴏᴠ, ɢʀɪᴇꜰ, ɴᴏ ᴘʀᴏᴏꜰʀᴇᴀᴅ
The summer heat. The sound of cicadas. The setting sun bleeding into the night sky to paint it a familiar violet. The soft breeze drying the sweat on my skin. And a house that looks the same, but isn’t quite how I remember.
“So they finally finished…”
Well ‘finally’ probably isn’t the best word to use. That makes it seem like I was actively waiting on someone before I could move in— that I was being inconvenienced. I have a place to stay. Provided and handled by the hunter’s association to boot. Yes, I started the reconstruction of this house, but I only did it offhandedly way back when I was still in the hospital. Way back when I also had to arrange a funeral…
I wasn’t in my right mind and it was quickly pushed out of my thoughts. I pushed it aside.
I’d forgotten all about it.
Well, I had until both my ‘leave of absence’ order and ‘construction completed’ notice showed up on my desk at the same time.
What was I thinking packing a single bag and coming here in a single trip? I didn’t even tell anyone. Now it’s getting dark and I’m staying in a unfurnished house. By myself. No one to rely on. Not anymore.
Similar house, not quite the same.
I bite my lip and take a deep breath at the empty space around me once I step through the front door.
“Was it always this big?”
The air smelt of fresh paint instead of citrus and spice. The wood of the house unmarred, new…different.
Despite myself I crumple to the floor, baggage falling unceremoniously at the doorway, as a choked sob rips out of me.
What was I thinking? It’s not the same at all.
“What am I supposed to do? The space you left behind is so large, I feel like I’m being crushed…” My words break with each syllable I force past my tears.
This is all such a ridiculous farce. My return to work after discharging from the hospital only for them to force me on leave after failing their little evaluation not even a few months later. As well as my return to grandma’s house— the rebuilt house. The house that isn’t the same no matter how much I wish it to be.
I was getting somewhere at work! I’d found a rope to yank on, and then they tied my hands. All because of a failed psych evaluation.
So ridiculous that all I can do is weakly laugh as the numbness I’ve come to call friend takes over all my senses, tingling just beneath my skin.
Don’t they know I need this? I need to keep searching.
There was no body— just one set of scorched bones. Not two. Just one. I won’t end his life off of mere assumptions. Caleb was still alive somewhere. Until I find concrete evidence for otherwise, he’s alive.
I drag myself back to my feet and head up the stairs, carry-on blanket and pillow in tow and the rest of my baggage still at the door.
“I’m tired. There’s so much I have to do tomorrow.”
Tomorrow I have to start filling the house back up again. I’ll be spending the entirety of my indefinite leave getting it back to livable condition. It won’t be the same, but it’ll be good enough. I don’t want to let go, to let it stay destroyed— that seems like giving up. This is too important to just leave behind.
Even if everyone says I’m in denial, I’m rebuilding this house. I’ll find new things to refurnish it with even if they’re not the same. I’ll replant the flowers that used to surround it and take care of them until they bloom again. And then afterwards I’ll stay here and wait. I’ll continue being a hunter, but I’ll always return here at the end of the day. I’ll have everything ready so that when he comes looking, he’ll feel welcomed— he’ll be able to walk through those doors and stay. I’ll wait not because I’m in denial, but because that is faith.
