The Greatest Adventure

Micah. 24. Chicago. FTM. This blog is to document my transition.

[weavemama]

[micahinthemaking]

Sometimes when I'm turned on my junk tingles and my little dick twitches

[micahinthemaking]

[micahinthemaking]

Day 738 week I can’t believe it’s been over 2 years now that I’ve been on testosterone and almost 1 year post op I went to work And then hung out with John Aren and I are going to work on sitting with emotions and not going over past memories that caused the same feeling. Idk how I feel about it yet. And I’ve been on meds for about 2 months now and I think I finally feel a difference

[micahinthemaking]

[cwote]

All of this is temporary. All of this is temporary. All of this is temporary. All of this is temporary. All of this is temporary. All of this is temporary. All of this is temporary. All of this is temporary. All of this is temporary. All of this is temporary. All of this is temporary. All of this is temporary. All of this is temporary. All of this is temporary. All of this is temporary.

[micahinthemaking]

Day 722 and week 103 11 months post op I know it’s been forever but whatever. No better time to start up again. I just don’t feel like much has changed. Feeling very stagnant and very insecure about my body and comparing my transition and changes and body to other people’s. A lot of shit has hit the fan in my life. I got a job but besides that I feel like I am just getting hit over and over. I have all this debt, I lost maeta, my brother has been struggling, my uncle keeps trying to get in my life, I’ve been losing friends, patricia passed away one year ago, I got in a car accident, I don’t have too many friends, and I’ve been struggling with my own mental health. Just so much. But anyway, I’m 1 year and 11 months on t

[micahinthemaking]

For the first time in a long time I am turned on. I had a dream where you were in bed with me and had me on all fours. You pushed my head down and made me suck your fingers. At first one, then two, then all four until I wet them enough. Then you put your other hand on my shoulders as you dragged your wet hand down over my body. Then you slid into me, not caring if I was wet enough or able to take it. I moan and my hips follow your movements. You pull all the way out of me and I'm begging immediately. I try to turn over to see you, to make you touch me but you shove my head in the bed and kneel on my legs to keep me from twisting. You don't care what I want, you bite my shoulders and tease me before you're ramming me again and I'm yours for the taking. You pull out and slide all the way back in over and over again, faster and harder until I'm begging you to let me cum. I wake up before I do and I am soaked. I want you.

[micahinthemaking]

It's hard for me to believe that I'm strong when I have all this fat hiding it.

[micahinthemaking]

I feel like I've lost all my strength since having surgery

[micahinthemaking]

Week 64 Week 8 post op Went to classes, talked with Hazelett some more which I've missed. Saw Haley over the weekend Saw Ronnie and we talked about what we're doing Went to therapy which was very hard Met two new clients Learned a fee new card games Went swimming twice which has been unbelievable and a dream come true. This past week I kept forgetting I had surgery and thinking I still have a binder on and when Ronnie touched my back I had the same feeling. I'm starting to see baby hairs on my chest and under my chin

[feedingthefeeling]

The only upside to being so sick is that I’ve lost about 5 lbs

[micahinthemaking]

Because of this illness I couldn't take pics of my chest at 6 weeks. I couldn't see Haley or Ronnie or claire. I did no work. I got no rest. I couldn't go to the gym to swim. I missed seeing my new clients. It's been the worst sickness. Ugh.

[micahinthemaking]

Week 62 Caught a disastrous illness on Wednesday which made me miss all my work the rest of the week. Couldn't eat or sleep or stay warm or comfortable for days. Had to miss out on seeing Ronnie and haley and Claire and I hated it. Haven't started feeling better til almost a week later. Other than that, I dressed up for ucan just for fun. My nipples have now pinked up and I think my scars have turned a darker red

[micahinthemaking]

How could my FRIEND get my pronouns wrong at this point? She's known me for almost 2 years. She's heard my struggles in school. I've talked with her before about it happening. She helped me raise funds for surgery. I had surgery. How could she do this to me now? In front of other people? And make excuses? What kind of friend is that? What does it say about me that she is my friend? How much do I have to let go? How much can I let go without losing my dignity and respect and validation and my self?

[micahinthemaking]

I miss being able to go to the gym

[micahinthemaking]

Week 60 I can’t believe this is my body Today is one month post op