the first time i saw an episode of supernatural was all the way back in 2005, when i was 5 yrs old. my mom would go to bingo every tuesday night and my older brother and i would stay up late watching tv. typically he had control of the remote, but for some reason i can't recall he wasn't there the night 1.03 "dead in the water" aired, and i ended up watching it. i don't remember much, but i have two very clear memories of these stills:
seeing dean in that leather jacket at such a young age did in fact permanently alter the course of my life. i could've been normal!!
it wasn't until 2012 that i really truly started watching the show. when i was in 6th grade i had a very severe case of mono and was out of school for basically the entire spring semester. one day while i was channel surfing, i came across supernatural on tnt, and that was it.
i was bound to fall in love with supernatural in one way or another - i'm a medium and a low level psychic, so i've has no choice but to believe in the paranormal. i like weapons and cars and classic rock. and perhaps most significantly, i love anything that explores america through a gothic lens. to me, america is a land of horror. there's swaths of land hundreds of miles long that are just empty. there's thousands of buildings that are abandoned and now falling to pieces in the absence of life to keep them upheld. there's too much space, too much blood shed, too much disregarded and forgotten, and too many shadowy corners for evil to lurk.
so supernatural felt tailored made to my interests, and stuck in my house in the middle of nowhere as i was, sam and dean became my best friends. i'd spend every morning - from 9 a.m. to noon - traveling through the darkest crevices of america with the winchesters. when i was finally able to return to school, i dvr-ed the episodes and would catch up once i was home. i filled up the dvr space with the entirety of the first 5 seasons, and would watch them on a loop. season 6 was not syndicated yet, so i didn't catch it until a couple of years later when i got the dvd on sale at fye, along with season 7. i feel like i'm really dating myself here, so i'm just going to move on.
i strayed away from keeping up with supernatural around 2014, but i've never stopped watching. it also became my dad's favorite show, so between the two of us, it's always been on a screen somewhere in the house. i finally caught up with seasons 9-15 in 2023. i've been Going Through It since 2021, and in the summer of 2023 i crawled back home to my parents. unable to do much of anything else, i committed to watching the series through till the end. losing myself in sam and dean's new-to-me adventures was exactly what i needed at the time.
i've stayed away from the fandom for a very, very long time, mostly because i was never a dean/c*s shipper and felt weird for being a wincest enjoyer. but with the 20th anniversary this year the obsession has come back in full force and i've found myself wanting to fangirl about the show all the time!! (just as a side note, i've written about supernatural both critically and academically over the years, but i probably won't do much of that here as i want this to be a place where i'm able to enjoy it more informally (and strangely).) plus i no longer gaf about whether or not people think i'm gross for being into these freak brothers; so here i am, reblogging samdean content to my heart's content.
i think there will be opportunities in later weeks for me to write more about my relationships with and thoughts on the characters, so i'm not going to say anything in regards that now to leave myself things to talk about then.
it's so hard to make friends on here, especially because i'm riddled with anxiety and have trouble interacting. but i'm here to scream about samndean and will happily do so if someone reaches out to me first, so always feel welcome to say hi in dms or through my ask box if you want - just please, no minors because i am Old and want to be able to freely post 18+ content.
if you read all this, thank you, and it's so nice to meet you!! <3
