I Got the Goods

MIchael Oak||21||Marketing||twin to Maybell

[michaelthesmuggler]

killerquccns:

“You’re like the most romantic person I know. Selling snacks is so tender and passionate. Nothing says love more than cracking open a Pokemon Wonderball with someone you care about.” she joked. Michael had a lot of good qualities, but romantic wasn’t one of the first that came to her mind– he didn’t need to know that though. Christine wasn’t great at dating either anyway, which was probably why she was dating a gay man. “Soulmates are not overrated!” she argued, chucking a candy at him, “Real life is so uncertain and scary. Soulmates are supposed to be something that’s written out in destiny for you. Doesn’t it give you some sort of ease that there’s supposed to be a person out there for you?” Christine rummaged through her backpack to locate her fidget spinner. Her brain was doing the thing where she ‘felt like it was a pinball machine’ (as she was often quoted) as she thought of all the questions she wanted to ask. She flicked the pink sparkly toy, deciding to stick to one nosy question at a time, “So what’s this possible suitor like?”

“Exactly. I practically have guys lining up around the block to just get a sweet taste of my snacks. It’s so charming.” His tone was sarcastic as he reached for the mountain dew red by his side. It probably wasn’t a good idea to have the both of them consuming so much sugar, with Christine’s adhd and him trying to stay fit for once it was sort of a disaster in the making. Oh well. “They are! Don’t fight me on this Chrissy missy, it’s so unrealistic that there’s only that one perfect someone created for me. You know that humans have practically stopped evolving? I heard it on the history channel or whatever. So what I think is, since it’s not survival of the fit anymore I just need to put a little more effort and I’d probably fall in love with anyone. Who needs that security blanket bull when that’s a possibility.” Michael took a sip from his drink and shrugged, it was hard to describe them, he really didn’t know where to start. “They’re really nice from what I’ve sorta experienced? I dunno. I think...they’re sorta blind too? Like not all the way but getting there kinda phase which is sad, and Eli’s not super attractive that I feel intimidated to even speak a word. They’ve got a face that’s conventionally attractive which is find cute. I don’t really know much beyond that, so that’s why I’m thinking about asking them on a date.”

[michaelthesmuggler]

sofiaxthomsen:

Sofia couldn’t help but laugh at the look that crossed his face.”You take venmo? Good, I was about to ask. Do you only take twenties? I think you should be asking for fifties.” She watched him move in a little closer and raised her eyebrows. “You have more? No way. I thought that was it. Is this one also about anal beads?”

“I’m a humble man, I only ask for enough to get by. I’m not stopping you from dropping a few hundreds in there though.” He propped his ukulele on his leg and strummed a couple of random chords. “Of course I have more, I have to if I’m gonna be a musical prodigy. I can actually play wonderwall ironically, because let’s be real you haven’t reached your full potential if you don’t know how to play that song.”

[michaelthesmuggler]

dccrchildren:

The date had been going so well and Eli felt horrible that they knew it would have to come to an end soon. They just only hoped Michael would forgive them when all was said and done. Getting back to the street they lived on, they smiled at Michael. “This was really fun. Thank you for taking me out.” Eli commented quickly before biting their bottom lip. “I am sorry though. I really am.” Their voice shaking as they moved, taking the moment to remove the switchblade from their pocket as they hugged Michael. Having researched a few easy places to stab without causing too much damage, they jammed the knife into Michaels upper thigh, only going for the meaty area. 

@michaelthesmuggler

Michael was actually on a date. With someone amazing. And it was going well.  He thought he’d never see the day where he’d be smiling and laughing with someone else and have the chance at romance. The two of them were having a great time walking back from their time spent together, or at least that’s what Michael thought when Eli went to hug him. Them apologizing to him seemed strange at first, but then he felt the sharp stab of a blade cut into his thigh and he backed away with a shocked expression on his face. “W-was the date really that bad?!” He held onto the knife as he looked at them in pain. but didn’t pull it out due to it being the only thing plugging the wound.

[michaelthesmuggler]

killerquccns:

“Ohhh~ Love at first sight, perchance?” she grinned, attempting to catch the colorful candy in her mouth, but failing miserably. She grabbed the fallen soldier, tossing it in the air so it’d fall onto her tongue. Christine tapped her foot in thought, “If they have a dog then you definitely need to ask them on a date– Wait, you need to make sure they’re not Republican first. You can’t go on a date with someone and then in the middle of Olive Garden breadsticks and chill have them be like, ‘Oh yeah guess what?? I wanna build a wall and tell a woman what to do with her uterus. And guess what else? My dog loves Reaganomics.’” The girl extended a finger to Micheal, squinting at the boy, “However, they may be your soulmate. However times two, they might also come from some sort of rival family and you’ll be forbidden to see them… Actually, that scenario sounds quite romantic. Just don’t fake your death like Romeo and Juliet did. You know how well that turned out with their sixteen year old nonsense.” 

Michael couldn’t help but laugh slightly as Christine went on and on with her antics. She was always one for theatrics and extreme ideas, it’s what made her such a charming friend. “Perhaps. You know how I can be sometimes though, romance isn’t a very big strong suit of mine.” Michael dumped half the bag of candy into his mouth and nodded along as she spoke. “ The dog is pretty adorable, and I’m pretty sure they’re not politically displeasurable. “ He rolled his eyes playfully as Christine added more and more possible situations and cut her off once she seemed to be finished with another thought. “I feel like soulmates is an overrated concept, like of course I dig them though y’know? Maybe that’s what we were meant to be, star-crossed lovers in fair Levin’s University. Will their love be torn apart by opposing forces? Will they ever be able to openly show their love for the whole world to see? We may never know.”

[michaelthesmuggler]

sofiaxthomsen:

Sofia was very confused as he started speaking to her, not sure what she did to get his attention but she was more than open to hearing a romantic song. Especially if he was willing to play it for her acoustic. She turned to him, smiling. “I’m ready.” He started playing and she listened closely, her smile turning into a look of confusion very quickly. “Um…wow, very romantic.”

Michael stopped after the first couple lines, and let a goofy smile spread as her curiosity turned to confusion. “ Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week. I take donations from my fans via paypal or venmo so don’t be shy to throw in a couple of twenties.” He raised a brow and leaned closer to her as he tried to stifle his laughter. “You want to hear another one?”

[michaelthesmuggler]

dccrchildren:

Having taken to painting at home to save Frost the headache from being around so many people and noises in the art rooms, Elias had been working on their series of self portraits having gotten back the printed canvas’s with their digital portraits on them. Rubbing their forehead with the back of their hand to avoid rubbing charcoal across their face, they stepped back to look at the work before squinting for a moment and pushing their glasses up to rest on top of their head. The migraines were hardly today and they couldnt seem to shake them. Moving, Eli rubbed their temples with the palms their hand before hearing Frost barking loudly in the other room. Following her, they opened the door before seeing Michael. “Uh hey. Wait you were just in the neighborhood?” They commented, shifting to put their glasses back on before blinking a few times. “Yeah… um yeah sure. Just let me clean my hands and get Frost’s vest.” 

“Yeah. I finished a delivery for a customer nearby, and the street looked familiar so I pulled out the paper she gave me and turns out you lived not too far from them. I don’t mean to be a bother though, so seriously you don’t have to go if it’s too much. Or like, if you don’t dig me you can just tell me right now to and I’ll totally understand.” Michael noticed a canvas out of the corner of his eye behind Eli but didn’t mention how nice it was in fear that he might just make things more awkward. “Cool. Cool cool cool. I’ll just wait here. Take all the time you need.” He felt weird stepping into their home in only their second encounter, so it was a safe bet to just wait by the door so it didn’t feel like he was invading their space.

[michaelthesmuggler]

strxngshix:

Gamila was always good at bargaining and listened to the boy intently. “I’ll give you 50 bucks and I give you something special if you want. But I’m only giving you 50 because these are not worth 75.” She said and smirked, playing with her hair a bit.

A challenge. As an aspiring marketer Michael loved a good business negotiation and appreciated her attempt at it. “Oh sweetheart, you clearly know nothing about the 90′s if you think these are barely even worth seventy five dollars, you should instead be amazed I brought a pack of twenty to such a low price. Usually people try selling even just a single one of these bad boys for two hundred dollars on ebay.” He raised an brow, and held out a juice box to Gamila. ‘Try it, I’ll keep the full price at eighty dollars flat, and even throw in a Surge for you as a treat.”

[michaelthesmuggler]

Michael cleared his throat as he made eye contact with the girl beside him. “I learned this pretty romantic song recently, and I really think it will get all the panties dropping. Ready? Okay so anyways, here’s wonderwall.” He started to strum chords on his ukulele that clearly wasn’t the beginning of the song he mentioned, and sang the first line in a surprisingly impressive tone. “ In the darkest of times, you’re there for me. I the darkest of times, these anal beads take care of meeeee.” @sofiaxthomsen

[michaelthesmuggler]

Michael had felt like a complete idiot for not asking for Eli’s number the entire night they were together, but thankfully some chick that claimed to be their roommate  gave him a paper with their number and home address. He didn’t know exactly which information to use first, so in his spur of the moment decision the redhead convinced himself to stop by their place and say something to Eli. He awkwardly stood in front of the door for a moment before knocking, and when the door swung open he gave a crooked smile.  “Hey uh, sorry this is probably weird but your roommate Quinn gave me your guys address so I thought I’d just swing by and ask if you maybe wanted to um...go out and get coffee’s or whatever? You don’t have to of course! I was in the neighborhood so I thought, oh hey maybe Eli would want to hang out if they weren’t busy.” @dccrchildren

[michaelthesmuggler]

“So I met this cute person at the party last night! I know there was a lot of other super wild and exciting things going on but I think that was my highlight. Their name was Eli, and they also had this cute as hell dog named Frost. I’ve been off the dating market for a while now, but you think I should give this one a chance?” Michael tossed an m&m at Christine playfully, knowing that out of everyone he knew she could go on and on about all his possible options. @killerquccns

[michaelthesmuggler]

“Okay listen, I can give you this first Ecto Cooler for free and if you like it, I’ll cut you a deal for a package of about twenty of the juice boxes for like, only seventy five bucks. Now hear me out, before you start saying Michael, that’s a crazy amount of cash just for a couple of juice boxes from the 90′s I gotta say that you’ll never find a bargain like this anywhere else. Other guys will ask for way more than a hundred, and they’d be giving you the returning shitty 2016 version while I’m giving you that real nostalgic 90′s flavor. So whatd’ya say?” Michael looked at Gamila with a raised brow, he needed to get rid of the extra weight from an order he mess up on and he prayed this girl would take it. @strxngshix

[michaelthesmuggler]

I have no idea how to fucking ask if people want starters n shit but I guess comment or hmu whateva if you want something with my charas bcs I need shit for them.

[michaelthesmuggler]

hypnctism:

“well i would hope so, it is apart of my major.” she teased as much as a girl like her could. “maybe when i’m an old woman on my death bed, i’ll write the woes of my life after i have a very successful journalism career. you’ll have to wait some time for it, michael, but it’ll be worth it. maybe i’ll even dedicate it to you; for that ginger i wasted my time on.” she took a seat at the table in his place, taking her crystal pepsi and taking a sip. “i honestly don’t know what you did to deserve my kindness.” she really didn’t, she was far from in touch with her emotions, and couldn’t explain why she liked michael so much except for the fact that she simply did. “do you really have to ask?”

“Not only do you need to dedicate your biggest best selling book to me, but you also need to have more than one chapter talking about how amazing of a person I am. Just really get in there and talk me up.” Michael satdown across from her with his own drink and a goofy smile on his face. “It’s my charm obviously, it’s a real chick magnet.” A carefree chuckle left him as he took a drink from his rare soda, and nodded along in understanding to her response to his skepticism. “Nah, I just wanted to check in alright? Make sure you got the good goods.”

[michaelthesmuggler]

hypnctism:

@michaelthesmuggler

“today was one filled with disdain and disappointment, and since i’d rather not get into the details of such things you are here to be my distraction.” joanna found pleasure in few peoples company, and somehow michael made it on the list of those few. “i got some brownies and we can figure out the rest from there.”

“Such a poetic way with words Joanna, when will you write your deep award winning novel about the struggles of life? Bravo.” Michael wiped away a fake tear as he reached into his fridge and procured a couple of crystal pepis to go with the brownies. “Look at you bringing me treats and being all buddy buddy. What did I do to deserve such a caring and adorable friend?” He set the drinks down on the table and slid one over to her. “I’m assuming these are the good type of brownies right? Because I don’t want to be disappointed when I take a bite out of it.”

[michaelthesmuggler]

i like your hair

“You do? I do too. I like the way to whooshes and how the color stands out. It’s so much fun!”

[michaelthesmuggler]

how are you?

“I’m okay. Beat the latest pac-man score at the towns arcade so it’s been a pretty big ego booster. Twelve year old Todd thought her could go and beat my score, not today you tiny gremlin.”

[michaelthesmuggler]

let me eat eggs out ya butt

“Sure, I guess if that’s what you’re into dude. Want some hot sauce to pour in there while you’re at it?”