propaganda below the cut! (enormous wall of text warning)
Trent Reznor:
"he is everything. he is all that exists around us. he is the air which we breathe. he performed covered in mud at woodstock 94 and somehow made it work. he's largely responsible for arguably the most influential concept album of the 90s. he is beautiful and sweet and stunning. i want to study him under a microscope. i know closer is about sex as a self-destructive behavior but also have you seen how insanely gorgeous he looks in the music video? in the words of my friend, "he sings like he's in heat". he literally humps and destroys synths (in a variety of ways, including stripping the keys off with his boot) during performances. every single outfit he wears is extremely cunty. on multiple occasions guys have said that even though they're straight they would fuck him. finally, in the words of jude doyle: "to this day, looking at a photograph of trent reznor in the early '90s feels like looking into the sun""
"The live March Of The Pigs (1994) video makes me froth at the mouth I start biting and snapping my teeth and growling. I need to rewatch it five times a week at LEAST to stay sane. Trent Reznor is like if a trophy wife was a man. Also the way he WHISPERS INTO THE MIC AT THE END OF SUCK?????HHFSJBDNDNS???? THE ENTIRETY OF THE BROKEN EP????????? Cleanup on aisle my fucking pants. Is this too insane? Sorry"
"I’m a lesbian but that does not fucking mean anything when confronted with trent reznor"
"It's Trent, man. Even the literal devil wants him. He's just boypretty."
"This man deadass wrote a song with the lyric “My moral standing is lying down" in it"
Jonny Greenwood:
"Every art girl's (and boy's) wet dream"
"He wrote the tourist. That's all you need."
"Repeat from my Thom propaganda but he was a part of it so anyways. I had a dream once where I met him and Thom on the street and asked them to sign my Pablo Honey CD, so Thom pushed me into open traffic and I got hit by a car and died and Jonny laughed his ass off. 10/10, my last sight before death was his beautiful face laughing."
"I could probably snap him like a twig but I want to marry him and have 3 children with him before I do that"
"Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose 1/5 of Radiohead. Choose 1/5 of In Rainbows. Choose the man who wrote weird fishes, both Greenwood sisters ,the man in South Park, his telecaster and the stickers on it. Choose the bug Jacqueline Kennedy, his love for literature and poetry, and his lovely lisp. Choose his sublime score for Phantom Thread and his husband Paul Thomas Anderson. Choose the weird amount of straight men who thirst over him in the YouTube comment section. Choose his jawbone. Choose the most pretentious, unpretentious member of the band. Choose his silky hair and his (probably) Dove shampoo. Choose his great knowledge of music theory and how he often disregards it. Choose Astroboy's biggest fanboy (minus maybe Thom. Choose a very hot Alex James who eloped with a fish. Choose Jonny Greenwood. Choose your future. Choose life… Involuntary Trainspotting reference but please vote Jonny over Wario. Oh, and( even though Jonny lives in Italy at the moment), I live in Oxford and if I meet him, I'll tell him that he won."
"He keeps chickens guys, CHICKENS"
"I'm a straight guy but no joke Jonny is hot tbh maybe it's cuz he looks like a chick but like damnnnn"
"He's so gorgeous....kinda like an ant 😍😍😍😍"
Mike Patton:
"Mike didn't consistently wear BDSM masks matched with boiler suits and lick Trevor Dunn on stage just to lose this bracket. Also, if you don't think he's hot in every which way, you clearly haven't seen this: https://youtu.be/gjEbHBafvm0 or this: https://youtu.be/i9_hCjcFNO0 or this: https://youtu.be/Kfq7wHJu21c"
"Mike Patton collaborated with basically everyone who's anyone in music, and he speaks Italian too. He's great in a live show. And Mr. Bungle is unmatched and unparalleled, full stop."
"HEE HEE HOO HOO HA HA FUNNY WHITE MAN SCREAMS IN MY EAR AND BUSTS IT DOWN SEXUAL STYLE"
"I'm a lesbian but I find him insanely attractive which I think says a lot"
"whenever mike arches his back and screams a part of my soul leaves my body and is shattered by the soundwaves."
"all you need to do to love mike is watch this: https://youtu.be/0gq_Jn41iMM&t=1375 the fact that he blurts that out and then super casually goes into the song leaves me crying with rage and hormones every time I see it"
propaganda below the cut! (huge wall of text warning)
Courtney Love:
"i want courtney to push me around and throw me on the floor SHE'S SO HOT AND HER MESSINESS MAKES HER EVEN HOTTER !!!!!"
"She's beautiful and gorgeous and the definition of 90s fashion. I'm convinced she could pull off any outfit ever she's so stunning"
"that one photo of her in red lipstick and a black dress smoking a cigarette… your honour i rest my case"
"I don't care what conspiracy theories you tell me. no one rocks the grungy makeup look like her."
"gonna be her for halloween"
Mike Patton:
"Mike didn't consistently wear BDSM masks matched with boiler suits and lick Trevor Dunn on stage just to lose this bracket. Also, if you don't think he's hot in every which way, you clearly haven't seen this: https://youtu.be/gjEbHBafvm0 or this: https://youtu.be/i9_hCjcFNO0 or this: https://youtu.be/Kfq7wHJu21c"
"Mike Patton collaborated with basically everyone who's anyone in music, and he speaks Italian too. He's great in a live show. And Mr. Bungle is unmatched and unparalleled, full stop."
"HEE HEE HOO HOO HA HA FUNNY WHITE MAN SCREAMS IN MY EAR AND BUSTS IT DOWN SEXUAL STYLE"
"I'm a lesbian but I find him insanely attractive which I think says a lot"
"whenever mike arches his back and screams a part of my soul leaves my body and is shattered by the soundwaves."
"all you need to do to love mike is watch this: https://youtu.be/0gq_Jn41iMM&t=1375 the fact that he blurts that out and then super casually goes into the song leaves me crying with rage and hormones every time I see it"
Jonny Greenwood:
"Every art girl's (and boy's) wet dream"
"He wrote the tourist. That's all you need."
"Repeat from my Thom propaganda but he was a part of it so anyways. I had a dream once where I met him and Thom on the street and asked them to sign my Pablo Honey CD, so Thom pushed me into open traffic and I got hit by a car and died and Jonny laughed his ass off. 10/10, my last sight before death was his beautiful face laughing."
"I could probably snap him like a twig but I want to marry him and have 3 children with him before I do that"
"Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose 1/5 of Radiohead. Choose 1/5 of In Rainbows. Choose the man who wrote weird fishes, both Greenwood sisters ,the man in South Park, his telecaster and the stickers on it. Choose the bug Jacqueline Kennedy, his love for literature and poetry, and his lovely lisp. Choose his sublime score for Phantom Thread and his husband Paul Thomas Anderson. Choose the weird amount of straight men who thirst over him in the YouTube comment section. Choose his jawbone. Choose the most pretentious, unpretentious member of the band. Choose his silky hair and his (probably) Dove shampoo. Choose his great knowledge of music theory and how he often disregards it. Choose Astroboy's biggest fanboy (minus maybe Thom. Choose a very hot Alex James who eloped with a fish. Choose Jonny Greenwood. Choose your future. Choose life… Involuntary Trainspotting reference but please vote Jonny over Wario. Oh, and( even though Jonny lives in Italy at the moment), I live in Oxford and if I meet him, I'll tell him that he won."
"He keeps chickens guys, CHICKENS"
"I'm a straight guy but no joke Jonny is hot tbh maybe it's cuz he looks like a chick but like damnnnn"
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