Michelle C. Wheeler

Wife. Mom. Fangirl.

[michellecwheeler]

Setlist from Aaron Tveit’s show at The Barns at Wolf Trap | January 27, 2018

[michellecwheeler]

Top 10(ish) ‘Hamilton’ Songs

First of all, full disclosure, I clicked this link thinking it was listing the Top 10 Songs of Hamilton. So I came here to write this all “ummm no, Burn is not even ON THIS LIST.” On second look, I see now that it’s actually listing the Top 10 Hamilton Songs Played By Readers On The 4th Of July, and the whole thing makes a lot more sense. However. I’ve been mulling over how I’d rank the songs of Hamilton for a while now, and I love a good conversation starter, so I’m still posting it up! 

I’d love to read your picks too, so send them on!

10. What Comes Next

Honestly, for nothing else but the way #Groffsauce says “Awesome! Wow!” in the most perfect Valley-girl impression ever. Oh, and it also sets up the second act beautifully since, you know, it’s all about...what comes next. 

ODDS I’LL CRY WHILE LISTENING: 0% unless they’re tears of laughter

9. Guns And Ships

Daveed Diggs is a well-documented beast and if you can match him on “And I’m never gonna stop until I make ‘em drop and burn ‘em up and scatter their remains, I’m--” (LAFAYETTE!), congratulations, you’ve achieved Expert level in the Hamilton rap-along game (personally, I’m somewhere between “model of a modern Major General, a venerated Virginian veteran who’s men are all...” and “no one has more resilience or matches my practical tactical brilliance!”). This song moves the story along as much as it needs to, but mostly it’s just plain FUN. 

ODDS I’LL CRY WHILE LISTENING: 0% unless they’re tears of frustration/awe over Daveed’s skills

8. One Last Time

Many #Hamiltunes are relevant to the modern political landscape, but this one is the one that makes me wish most that more of our leaders were like (fictionalized) George Washington. “If I say goodbye, the nation learns to move on, it outlives me when I’m gone.” As LMM says, stepping down when he didn’t have to was Washington’s most radical act, and set a precedent (for better and for worse) for our election cycle. 

ODDS I’LL CRY WHILE LISTENING: 65% but you start at 50/50 every time Chris Jackson opens his mouth to sing anything, so...

7. Dear Theodosia

Word of warning, do not listen to this when dropping your first grade son off at school in the morning. Yes, I’m speaking from experience. Maybe it only resonates this way with parents, but I have not been able to get the words “if we lay a strong enough foundation, we’ll pass it on to you, we’ll give the world to you, and you’ll blow us all away” out of my head since I first heard them. 

ODDS I’LL CRY WHILE LISTENING: 100%

6. Hurricane

I mean. I cannot with this song. It summarizes everything we know about Alexander Hamilton - it’s the self-aware version of the opener. And it reaffirms that he is a man of words who believes at his core that the pen is mightier than the sword, even when he himself is the one who ends up bleeding all over the page. Plus it’s a breath before the bangin’est banger of the whole show, The Reynolds Pamphlet (”have you read this sh...”). 

ODDS I’LL CRY WHILE LISTENING: 25% unless I think too hard about what’s coming up two songs later. Then we jump to 50%.

5. Yorktown (The World Turned Upside Down)

There are days, entire weeks even, where this is my personal favorite of the bunch. I genuinely have never felt as patriotic as I did (and do!) when they’re all shouting “we won! we won! we won! WE WON!” It’s another one that’s super fun to sing, and has the best rap from my favorite voice in the Original Cast, Okieriete Onaodowan, aka The Incredible OAK. I mean, how often do you want to say to someone “we in the shit now, somebody’s gotta shovel it”? Because it comes up pretty often for me. 

ODDS I’LL CRY WHILE LISTENING: 5% since I’m usually having too much fun singing along, but there’s always a chance. 

4. Wait For It

We have now reached the point in this list, where any of these songs could be number 1. They’re all that good and that important to the story. I think this one is arguably the most radio-ready, and it’s the first time Aaron Burr pulls back the curtain showing us his true self and the depth of his contempt for and confusion over A. Ham’s success. People talk a lot about Leslie Odom Jr’s performance in The Room Where It Happened, but it’s Wait For It that I go back to over and over. “Love doesn’t discriminate, between the sinners and the saints, it takes and it takes and it takes, and we keep loving anyway, we laugh and we cry, and we break, and we make our mistakes.”  

ODDS I’LL CRY WHILE LISTENING: 100% 

3. The World Was Wide Enough

If Wait For It shows us Burr’s true nature, The World Was Wide Enough allows him to reveal it to himself. Odom’s performance in this song is heart-wrenching on the recording and absolutely stunning in person (#humblebrag). “Now I’m a villain in your history...” Gah. Burr turns out to be a tragic figure and as complex as any character I’ve ever seen brought to life. 

ODDS I’LL CRY WHILE LISTENING: 85% especially at the orphan line

2. Burn / It’s Quiet Uptown

Sure, this is technically two songs, but whatever, this is my list. And if you’re familiar with the show, you know that these two songs mark the beginning and end (and end and beginning) of a certain phase of Alexander’s relationship with his wife, Eliza. Prior to Burn, Eliza comes off as a bit of a dishrag. She’s sweet, she’s supportive, but there doesn’t seem to be enough grit or intellect or sexuality to keep someone like Alexander Hamilton interested. But after a betrayal, she comes out and quietly invites Alexander to burn like the letters she sends up in flames. It’s one of the most reserved and gut-wrenching songs ever, totally consistent with Eliza’s character, but proving she’s made of more than we ever gave her credit for. AND THEN. It’s Quiet Uptown. You can’t just jump to it and get the whole effect, but if you sit through the prior 2 1/2 hours of intense storytelling, you’re rewarded with this quiet moment where Alexander is humbled (finally), and Eliza finds “forgiveness...can you imagine.” The first time I heard that line I sobbed over how holy it is. “There’s a grace too powerful to name.” YES, Lin, take us to CHURCH. 

ODDS I’LL CRY WHILE LISTENING: What’s higher than 100%?

1. Helpless / Satisfied

I said “10(ISH),” okay? The songs of Hamilton twist and wind their way through each other thematically, musically and lyrically, presenting a wonderfully cohesive experience for the audience. But these two songs literally cannot exist without each other. Each only gives the listener half of the story. The moment things started to rewind in Satisfied and I realized what was happening on stage is a moment I will never forget (#humblebrag again, sorry). Add to that Angelica’s dilemma of following her own dream or doing the “right thing” as the first child/older sister, and Renee Elise Goldsberry spitting like the queen she is, and Satisfied is not just the best song in Hamilton, it is one of the best songs ever written for musical theater. It’s full impact, though, lies in its relationship to Helpless, so they must be considered as a pair. 

ODDS I’ll CRY WHILE LISTENING: 20% but I carry those emotions with me until Angelica says “I’m not here for you” straight to Alexander’s face after he betrays Eliza and the odds for tears there are definitely closer to 65%

[michellecwheeler]

Good day to be a Zayn fan....

MARCH 25, 2016 This time last year, Zayn had been on leave from One Direction's OTRA tour for about a week after a whole bunch of stuff happened that you don't care about. Or, if you do care, you already know all of it and there's no point rehashing. Anyway, March 25, 2015, rolled around and Zayn announced he wasn't just taking leave....he was leaving. For good. And in that moment a fandom - arguably the most intense fandom that's ever existed in pop music - fractured. Sure, there were people who straddled both sides - who thought the world was wide enough for One Direction and Zayn to exist as separate musical entities - but for some, Zayn had done the unthinkable. He'd chosen himself over the band and over the fans. An astonishing number of questions like "how could he do this TO US?!" went up on social media. And while that question may sound completely irrational to a person who's never loved anything, it gets to the very root of what it means to be a fan. Being a fan is personal. The fans, as an entity, are in a relationship with the object of their affection, be it an artist, an actor, an author, a sports team, an individual athlete, or anyone else they deem worthy of their time, money, and devotion. Increasingly, because of the access granted by social media and the demands on our idols to deliver personal details and photographs in addition to whatever they're doing for us creatively or professionally, fans have the opportunity to "know" celebrities more than ever before. This creates a false sense of intimacy on the fans' side, so when that person or group of people you love makes a decision you disapprove of, it feels like they're doing it to you. It feels personal. (Certainly, this is not a phenomenon specific to pop music fangirls. That same betrayal was felt by fans of LeBron James when he left Cleveland for Miami and then went back to Cleveland again, but perhaps it was expressed with fewer crying face emojis. Our culture doesn't allow for men and boys to be quite so effusive in their emotional expressions.) For the person or people at the top of a fandom, that relationship has two sides, though. Fans are alternately loyal and fickle. They can push a celebrity's brand to greater and greater heights when the relationship is good, but rip their support away leaving a trail of has-beens in their wake when it goes sour. For better or worse, I don't think Zayn was thinking much about the fans when he made the decision to leave. Or, if he was, he was probably thinking "I can't keep giving them what they want at the expense of myself." So he left. I'm not overstating it when I say I will never forget where I was when I read Zayn was leaving 1D. It was....I don't want to say traumatic, but it was certainly significant. Like, I audibly gasped in a public place. And I had less than a year invested in the 1D fandom at that point! For the fans who'd been there since the beginning, traumatic is probably an appropriate descriptor. I'm old enough now to know that feeling disappointed in your heroes is inevitable. Famous people are still people, after all. Maybe it's a rite of passage to find that out. Over the last year, Zayn found a record label, a management team, a group of producers, and - yes - even a new fandom (hey, #ZQUAD) willing to let him be who he is on his terms. The narrative around #ZoloZayn is that he has full control of his music and his brand - something the One Direction guys infamously never had. Zayn's first solo album, Mind of Mine, released on the one year anniversary of his departure from 1D (insert sobs), is a win on every level. It's a critical success, earning positive reviews across the board, and a commercial one, debuting at #1 in 70-something countries. The fans who stuck with him now get to replace the sadness from a year ago with joy, ecstasy, and - most importantly - pride. As if they (we) helped him get here. And maybe we did. Zayn regularly reposts fan art, replies on social media, and learned how to Periscope just to give his fans a preview of the album a few days before it came out. He's always gracious with fans he encounters on the street and shouts out his fandom regularly. He shares personal photos of his girlfriend, but doesn't comment on their relationship in interviews. It seems he's found a way to protect the normal(ish) life he was looking for when he left 1D, without sacrificing the music he wants to make. And - I'll just say it - I'm proud of him. I'm proud that my fav, while still plenty problematic in the way most early 20-somethings are - has turned out alright. Better than alright even, because Mind of Mine is seriously SO good! Fans take the disappointments personally, but they also celebrate the successes in the same way. A year ago today, the #ZQUAD suffered a major disappointment. But today is a really good day to be a Zayn fan.

[michellecwheeler]

Some thoughts on FORMATION

Lord help I just wrote a Beyonce essay in my Facebook comments. 🙈

 ---

That's the text I sent to my girlfriends this morning. Before 9am I had written most of the words you're about to read without meaning to. I mean, I was typing them, I was doing it, but I had no idea I felt so passionately about the subject until I dug in. I've been posting FORMATION think pieces on Twitter and Facebook the last few days because I have been so challenged and inspire by that song and video and by everything people much more qualified than I am are writing about it. I am an advocate for Media Literacy (thinking critically about the media messages you receive) and feel like Beyonce has given both scholars and the average music listener a lot to think about. 

Two friends (white females in their 30s as I am) asked me why I was posting so much. Why was everyone obsessing over it and writing so much, they wondered, when it's just another "issues" song. I completely understand that question and am grateful they felt safe enough with me to ask it! I'd love it if they found a few black girls to ask about it too. What's the big deal with FORMATION? 

So, I've done my best here to compile what I've been reading and processing, and articulate why I think the song is not "just another" anything. FORMATION (the song), FORMATION (the video), and the fact that it's Beyonce singing it are all important individual facets of this conversation that when combined have led to the cultural obsession. 

THE SONG 

The lyrics pointedly embrace black culture and black heritage more than most of what we generally see in today's music, from Beyonce or anyone. The proud use of the words "negro" and "bama", the lines about hot sauce in her bag and big nostrils and natural hair - all of these are used in this song to signify what has been considered the "lowest" form of black culture. In other words, it's not booty and being thick and poppin' bottles and makin' it rain. She's talking about the things about themselves that many black people feel they have to change or at least downplay to be accepted by the culture at large. And Beyonce's not just talking about those things, she's celebrating them. It's those very things that make her - and the black people she represents in this song - slay. She also directly celebrates not only her blackness but her woman-ness. More on this below. 

THE VIDEO 

Well, it's absolutely gorgeous first of all, but we know by now that Beyonce does not do mediocre! The visuals are powerful because they reinforce everything the lyrics say about being black. They speak to the current struggles of being black in America (Hurricane Katrina, police brutality). The three little girls in white dresses and the little boy dancing at the end speak to the fear many have that the innocence of childhood is disappearing for black children. The visuals also nod to the legacy of "black girl magic" that Beyonce (and all black girls) inherits. There are historical markers, Deep South gothic witchcraft, a wig shop, a variety of traditionally black hairstyles from afros to intricate weaves, choreography set to bounce music, all grounded by the striking visual of Beyonce on a drowning police car that's eventually submerged. The lyrics are an anthem for black culture, but paired with the video - and the fact that she released them together, forcing people to consider the visuals and the words as a unit - the end result is a song that is the most powerful commentary on the black American experience both historically and presently that our generation has ever seen. 

BEYONCE 

I'm a big fan of Beyonce and have been since day one. I think what we've seen over the last few years is Beyonce start to wrestle with and understand the platform she has. She and Jay-Z have been called out by the black community as not caring enough about Black Lives Matter, and maybe having lost the ability to identify with the average black American because of their fame and wealth. Beyonce especially has been accused of working too hard to be an "acceptable black person" (in other words, "don't be so black you turn the white people off") in order to gain the success she has. That a person with her success and, dare I say, *access* to a white audience would release a song like FORMATION with the accompanying video is a massive statement. Beyonce is, number one, letting her people - HER people - know that she sees them, she is one of them, she has not forgotten them in her success, and maybe she is reminding herself of her pride in her heritage all over again. Number two, she is very pointedly reminding white people that she is a black person. Not only that, she's a black woman. The lowest on the totem pole in our white male privilege driven society. That Beyonce has been able to succeed to the level she has is 100% a testament of her talent, her work ethic, and her business savvy. She is a brilliant business person. With FORMATION, she's saying line up, black women, because I shouldn't be the only one up here. That is both a political and a personal statement, and for black women and girls everywhere, it has the power to literally change their lives. 

I think it's important to note that this song is not FOR white people. I, as a white person and a Beyonce fan, can enjoy it, but Beyonce has not invited me or allowed me to do that without considering all of the above every time I listen to it. For that, she is singular, and people will be writing about what she's done with this song for years to come. I can't wait to see what's next. 

READING LIST 

Roundtable Discussion - Beyonce / Blackness / Feminism (Vulture)

Beyonce in ‘Formation’ - Entertainer, Activist, Both? (The NY Times)

Beyonce Is Here For Black Women (Cosmopolitan)

Not Ready To Stop Obsessing Over Formation (NPR)

Who Formation is For (NPR)

The Complete Guide to Formation (Vulture)

11 References You Missed in Formation (Huffington Post)

Jessica Williams on Beyonce at the Super Bowl (The Daily Show via Vanity Fair)

[michellecwheeler]

Aaron Tveit: An Education

There’s a good chance you found this post because you watched FOX’s recent live production of the musical Grease. And if that was your first introduction to Aaron Tveit, I feel like you deserve an apology from the Tveiter Tots. You should never have had to deal with that voice...those biceps...that HAIR without some period of initiation. I apologize on behalf of the fandom. 

Aaron Tveit has been around on the Broadway scene for quite a while, he’s made regular guest appearances on Gossip Girl and Ugly Betty, and appeared in a handful of indie films. Tveit gained the attention of a broader audience when he portrayed French rebellion leader Enjolras in the 2012 feature film adaptation of the musical Les Miserables. Following that film, he starred in USA’s original series Graceland as a goody-two-shoes FBI agent who has to make some difficult choices when the lines dividing the good guys and the bad guys get blurred. 

Since the end of Graceland, Tveit has made a few films that are in various states of post-production and distribution, and found his next TV leading role in CBS’s upcoming Brain Dead (expected Summer 2016). 

So...there have been opportunities for you to find your way into the world of the Tveiter Tots, but you would have had to go looking.  

This list of clips will fully ingratiate you into the fandom and give you the resources you need to understand most Tumblr references. Enjoy your trip down the YouTube black hole...and welcome! 

PREREQUISITES: 

There are three clips that are pre-introductory. They’re basic. You must watch these before you can even understand anything else I’ll show you. These are the clips that, at their lowest level, let you know Aaron can sing, he’s always been able to sing, and he *probably* knows what to do with his hands.  

Run Away With Me (2008) - the clip that made Aaron a (limited) internet sensation. It just crossed the 1 million views mark this past week and is arguably the most beloved thing Aaron has ever done or will ever do. He’s young, and his hair does that little ducktail thing in the front. The voice is undeniable, and then you start to notice how his hands work the mic stand. Remember that. That will be important later.  

I’m Alive (2009) - Aaron appeared on Broadway in several roles before landing the one that would really put him on the Great White Way map - Gabe in Next To Normal. NTN is a quirky and heart-wrenching family drama in which Aaron’s character is (spoiler alert!) dead, but lives on in the mind of his mother. This video of him recording his character’s signature song is where you’ll probably notice Aaron’s mouth for the first time. Yeah. Get used to noticing that. 

One Song Glory (2010) - What young man who can sing and dance and act hasn’t played Roger at some point? If you graduated high school before the year 2002, RENT was probably an important moment along your path to adulthood. Roger is an HIV-positive musician who fears he’ll never find love again or accomplish his life’s purpose. He just wants to write one great song that will connect him to other people in a meaningful way. Watch Aaron tap into all that angst, black fingernails, guyliner and all.  

SYLLABUS: 

Okay, now you’re ready for the actual class. Get ready to operate on the expert level when it comes to Aaron Tveit. 

Fly Fly Away (2010) - Miscast is an annual theatre fundraiser where actors sing songs written for characters they've never played with a lot of gender-bending along the way. This song was originally sung by Aaron’s character’s love interest in Catch Me If You Can, but I’ve always preferred this version!! Sensitive dreamy Aaron at his best.

What Is This Feeling (2009) - another one from the previous year’s Miscast in which Aaron performed with his Catch Me If You Can co-star Norbert Leo Butz (oh man, now that I’ve mentioned him, I’m probably going to have to do an NLB swoonfest at some point because you ALSO need to know about NLB). In this one, you’ll see Aaron’s adorkable sense of humor and learn once and for all how to pronounce his name (”it’s not that hard!”). You’ll also get your first glimpse of his signature skip dance move and an *almost* twerk. YOU’RE WELCOME.

Along the Way (2008) - from a one-off concert he did featuring songs from writing duo Pasek & Paul. The whole thing is super cute, but the most important part happens in the first 10 seconds. That little head tilt and his LIPS. Actually the way he moves his mouth in this whole performance, amirite?

Dancing Through Life - I like to call this one “The Full Fiyero.” The pants. The moves. OMG.

Hairspray - Aaron was in the touring cast of Hairspray in 2005-2006 and was a PERFECT Link Larson. I would like to officially cast my vote for him to come back for NBC’s live production later this year, but only if it doesn’t interfere with his limited run as Hamilton’s King George (no, he’s not *technically* scheduled to play King George, but if I and The Secret have anything to do with it, HE WILL BE). Anyway, here’s Without Love and I Can Hear the Bells (so so funny!) from Hairspray!

Next To Normal Tonys performance (2009) - Aaron comes in at 3:45 and if you liked Jealous!Danny in Grease, you're gonna LOVE Jealous!Gabe in the last 30 seconds of this performance!!! (Side note: YES, there’s a weird vibe between Aaron’s character Gabe and the dad here having to do with Alice Ripley as the mom/wife. Welcome to Next To Normal! In all seriousness, though, that show is so sympathetic to grief and mental health issues and made me bawl.)

Seven Wonders (2011) - So. Much. Shirtless. Aaron. 

Elsie Fest (2015) - Elsie Fest is an outdoor music festival featuring songs from stage and screen started in 2015 by Darren Criss, Ricky Rollins and Jordan Roth. This particular performance is really cute. REALLY. Cute. Dear Aaron, please make a legit pop album so I can throw money at it and see you on tour.

WANGBT (2013) - This is the definitive version of Aaron’s Taylor Swift cover, however, from the second night of his spectacular sold-out run at 54 Below. Especially important is 1:35 when he drops one hand from the mic and you finally know for sure that he definitely knows what to do with his hands, 2:08 when he does a tiny body roll, and 3:18 when he skips. SKIPS. Because it is, after all, his signature move. 

Finally, you should really spend some time watching and listening to Aaron speak, because he has a great voice and is very funny. You might like listening to him talk enough to download one of the audiobooks he narrated, and I would absolutely not judge you for that.  

There are lots of interviews online of Aaron promoting various projects, and they’re all great, of course. I think his appearances on Show People are the best, though, since they’re the most in depth and personal. Plus, Paul Wontorek is the host, and he is the biggest Tveiter Tot of us all. :) Bonus: Aaron looks SO GOOD in all of them. His hair in the last one is ridiculous. RIDICULOUS. 

First Show People

Second Show People

Third Show People

Last, but very definitely not least, Aaron’s appearance at the 2013 Broadway.com Audience Choice Awards was a VERY important moment for the fandom because we got DrunkInPublic!Aaron (or at least a very convincing performance) which we'd never even come close to before.  

Presenting - this links to the whole show because I can't find just Aaron’s part, so skip to 11:52 and for 13 minutes imagine what it would be like to flirt with Aaron in a bar. SPOILER ALERT: It would be GREAT. 

Secret Talent - from the after party that same year. I guarantee his secret talent is not something you expect it to be, and that you will spend at least 30 minutes trying to do it yourself and likely fail miserably (....I speak from personal experience here). 

And there you go. Once you make it through this list, you will officially be a bonafide legit Tveiter Tot. Congratulations! 

It took me three years to amass this knowledge, and I’m giving it to you for free out of the goodness of my heart. I firmly believe there is nothing more fun than being a fangirl, and I don’t know that I’ve come across anyone more deserving of having a devoted fandom than Aaron Tveit. His talent and good looks are plain to see, but he also seems to be a solid dude and a genuinely good person. Enjoy your trip into the Tveiter Tot fandom and don’t hesitate to tell me what other Tveit goodies you find along the way! What did I miss? What performance or interview do you think is essential? The only thing better than fangirling is fangirling with FRIENDS so holla at your girl! 

Tumblr: @michellecwheeler

Twitter: @michellewheeler

Grease: LIVE is available to watch (or rewatch!) online or On Demand starting February 1, and look for Aaron in CBS’s Brain Dead this summer!