A monster.

Delphi, she/her. Whatever you think I am, or worse.

[midasgutz]

[ink--theory]

cherche

[cerastes]

I wasn't sure about letting this Hydromancer into the party at first, but it turns out her sword arm is unparalleled, and she only dabbled into Hydromancy so she could intentionally contain the enemy's blood after she rained countless slashes upon them like a meteor shower on the clear night sky for the express purpose of striking a pose, muttering "zan", and then releasing all of the blood on their wounds at once in a spectacle that the villager elder described "sick as fuck".

[gebo4482]

なたり (natari_illust)

[midasgutz]

i havent seen their blog in about five years now. it's probably still there, but i havent done it. i'm not great about things in every way but i haven't done that to myself.

[peri]

digital selfharm is real. do NOT check up on that ex-partner/ex-friend. do NOT reread those old messages/conversations that you know will hurt your feelings all over again or that will otherwise make you feel like shit. do NOT block evade to see if you’re being talked about. inhale. exhale. let it pass and you’ll be better for it.

[catasters]

[catsithkelpie]

I cannot describe how much I laughed at this.

Sound is VERY important.

[muscularguns]

@outlawbikerftw

[midasgutz]

it's really fucked that so many of us have like. one or two close friends if that. you deserve a nice group of people to spend some time with now and then.

[foldingfittedsheets]

My girlfriend and I are laying quietly in the pitch black bedroom. In a soft whisper with no inflection, I said, “Someone is here.”

My girlfriend’s whole body stiffens and they go, “What the FUCK!”

They didn’t feel the little kitty feet I felt or have the context so instead of understanding a cat was joining us in bed they thought I was signaling the start of a horror movie.

[midasgutz]

endacopia is coming out soon so when the internet is obsessed with it for like three weeks remember ol delphi done told you they would be, you know

[hungwy]

*strapped to a chair, staring at a screen*

Me: uhhh... white shirt

*I flail in my restraints as electric shocks race through my body*

Intercom: the oversized beige cowboy snoopy shirt was optimal for this outfit. next.

*screen changes*

Me: uhh... ummm... baseball cap

Intercom: which one?

Me: uhhh... Plain black one

*I'm zapped again, longer this time*

Intercom: the denim snoopy baseball cap was optimal for this outfit. Remember, three times in a row and you will fail the test. next.

*screen changes*

Me: *squinting through the sweat dripping into my eyes* D-dress shirt with a little snoopy over the pocket?

Intercom: good. The embroidered snoopy dress shirt shows you mean business but in a fun, approachable way. Next.

[lainpsx]

[midasgutz]

just saw this posted like it means anything. those are all good things.

[sadhoc]

the pistachio food trend is soooo interesting because it's like. i've been following the californian pistachio water politics for years, as a californian with personal connections to agricultural workers but! basically there's been a big push in california agriculture over the last decade to pressure farmers to produce pistachios, because iran has dominated the global market in pistachios for decades, and the US government has been trying to weaken iran economically, so they want to make california pistachios a competitor. which is ridiculous, because california's agricultural infrastructure is suffering under a drought, and pistachios take insane amounts of water. so a ton of water is being redirected from the people in order to engage in a trade war with iran over fucking. pistachios.

anyway now that the US (i.e. california) is producing more pistachios than iran, the next step is to drive consumption of pistachios, so that the farmers who are producing these pistachios can continue to make money on them. ergo all the fancy pistachio coffees at starbucks and similar shit like suddenly being able to find pistachio butter in grocery stores when five years ago it was exclusively available at specialty stores and online, and the huge boom in pistachios foods in instagram and tiktok recipe content. like i watch a lot of instagram foodie reels (cooking/baking is one of my hobbies) and these get thrown onto everyone's feeds, to promote the purchasing of pistachios, so that the US can stick it to iran. it's. kind of incredible to watch this happen in real time, because it sounds like deranged conspiracy thought, but like. i've been watching this trend for the past decade and it's fucking real.

anyway one of the vegan recipe accounts i follow just posted like five pistachio-based recipes in a row and it makes me feel some kind of fucking way

[sadhoc]

it is extremely relevant that pistachios are so easy to acquire here, but acorns, which are an indigenous California food staple crop, are impossible to find even in the best stocked grocery stores, and knowing how to prepare them for consumption is a rarer skill than sourdough starter

[fatbifemme]

Reblog this to tell prev that they're doing a good job and you're proud of them! 💕

[lamignonette]