Mid-Century Suggestions

[midcenturysuggestion]

Play for the All-American Girls’ Professional Baseball League

[midcenturysuggestion]

deride cologne as unmanly but wear tons of aftershave

[midcenturysuggestion]

get a perm

[midcenturysuggestion]

make salmon-flavored gelatin, but only as a status symbol at parties; eat boiled broccoli and beef hearts otherwise

[midcenturysuggestion]

hide your new bikini from your parents

[midcenturysuggestion]

Don’t be fooled by “look-alikes”; eat Hydrox cookies.

[midcenturysuggestion]

Dear Editor, I have just gotten married to a good man, and we have moved into a new house due to his being a GI. We are very comfy, but haven’t been able to decorate yet. I know I cannot be a worthy hostess without a shining, new-tech kitchen, but what do you suggest for the colour scheme?

I’m glad you asked! In the kitchen and bathroom, you can’t go wrong with pastels and baby pink or baby blue (except when you can). Lime green is also very à la mode, especially in combination with baby pink. For other rooms, why not go with light greens and deep browns?

If you for some bizarre, unaccountable reason think any of this sounds like it might clash (you philistine), try a color scheme that mimics that of something that exists in nature, like a martini olive.

[midcenturysuggestion]

do a political 180 when the war starts, then another when it ends

[midcenturysuggestion]

get a perm

[midcenturysuggestion]

remarry your ex-husband

[midcenturysuggestion]

host a garden party to celebrate moving into your new bungalow

[midcenturysuggestion]

wear underwear so well-designed and presentable that people seventy years later could wear it as a day dress

[midcenturysuggestion]

give birth under general anesthesia

[antebellum-us-suggestions]

invent both general anesthesia and the ovariotomy, but do the ovariotomy first

[midcenturysuggestion]

I like the cut of your jib

[midcenturysuggestion]

give birth under general anesthesia

[midcenturysuggestion]

agree on most basic points of domestic policy

[midcenturysuggestion]

be young. be in love. eat lard.

[midcenturysuggestion]

throw the first brick at Stonewall