It went up with the bottle and down with the beer. @midnight-nervosah - Tumblr Blog

coeur-celeste

rilke

<3

cmorga

Jeziorka River

jumbledmesh

uwhe-arts

bridge over troubled water . . . | uwhe-arts

tomdisappearing

ok, but the whole skinny genius workaholic aesthetic. being the thin one people are concerned about, too big sweaters/sweatshirts and undereye circles and perfect grades and sure, still self-destructing, but at least being fucking productive about it. (does it really count as burning out if you're not burning bright?)

living off of coffee and energy drinks, skipping lunch to study. forcing yourself through the brain fog, being the thinnest person in your major (unlike the grades you get, it's not a competition, but you still make it one, somewhere in the back of your mind). BMI low, grades high, isn't that how it goes? (or at least how you'd like it to be?) accidentally fasting for a little too long because the book was just that good. living in the library, you and your thermos of shitty instant coffee, bitter on your tongue while you leaf through notes. focusing all that obsession on academics and knowledge and doing good crap rather than spinning circles, feeling so self absorbed, thinking of nothing but food.

being smarter, smart enough that you might actually be able to help the world and do something meaningful rather than trying to just unsuccessfully blot yourself out of existence. still being skinny though. still reaching all those goals you set for yourself, almost unintentionally.

ugh.