Aziraphale in the finale: because I only want one thing. But this not what it's about anymore.
This line openly tells us what the finale ultimately means for Aziraphale. He died believing that everything he had ever wanted, everything he had protected, everything he had loved and everything he wanted - no longer mattered.
In fact, it never had.
I'm devastated.
I will never be over how cruel the finale seemed toward Aziraphale in general. But especially the way we could so CLEARLY see he didn't want to go through with Crowley's plan, the way he hides his face and sobs brokenly. He didn't want to die. Certainly not at the hands of his beloved. But he goes along with it, I think, out of guilt and despair.
What a horrible thing to witness on my screen, honestly.
Aziraphale, you mattered. You sweet, soft bastard, you went along with heaven as far as you could.
For thousands of years, you walked an impossibly thin tightrope, trying to follow your own heart and conscience without open rebellion against everything you came from. You kept the demon you love at arm's length, to keep him safe--loving him silently, more with actions than words.
You deserved the chance to love freely, to be yourself without shame or fear, to be treated gently. To have that picnic in the sunshine.
Being kind to Aziraphale and wanting good things for him is like...loving myself by proxy? It's somehow easier. I think maybe that's why the cruelty of the writers feels so sharp and hurtful to those of us that connect so deeply with this character.























