Dark, Mysterious and Quirky

Full time mom, part time 🧙‍♀️🔮🧹🧿♍🏳️‍🌈

[midnightstar1031]

This is my pinned post, because I don't want to change my bio.

This is my safe space, my journal, my blog. I talk about my emotions, feelings, and problems.

Mostly my relationship, crafting/sewing, and witchcraft journey.

I will ramble and get off topic; it's just what I do.

Enjoy my messed-up life :)

[midnightstar1031]

The other day I mentioned helping my mom with VBS. I didn't get a chance to take pictures of the complete set up, but I took some of the process.

How would you make a shadow person NOT scary? "Travel through the valley of shadows" so you need shadows. This is my daughter silhouette I traced over poster board.

So many sheep were made. A cotton ball is a ball of cotton, so just slowly unwrap it, stretch it CAREFULLY, then double sided tape onto the cardboard sheep. The sheep was firstly covered in a white plastic table cloth. But it still wasn't fluffy. So cottonballla were added.

This was an attempt to make a sheep centerpiece. Small water bottles, double sided tape, lots of cotton balls and construction paper for face. It would've been better with a hot glue gun, but idk where mine is. Only made one since it was falling apart. Still cute

~ No sheep or shadows were harmed in the making of this post ~

[midnightstar1031]

2026/07/22

Today is library day, kiddos, and I visited the library's Westside branch. Smaller than the main branch, but still very nice, it's next to the community center, which makes up for the size.

The kid section has this beautiful mural.

We went shopping afterwards. Going shopping with 3 kids after spending hours at the library is tiring. But it has to be done.

[midnightstar1031]

2026/07/21

It's been a long 20 days, mainly spent at the library with kids. During the weekdays, they get free lunch, so I don't have to stress too much about feeding them (but let's be real, they will be hungry when we get home regardless)

I helped make things for my mom for VBS (Vacation Bible School). It's a week-long church program, full of games, crafts, and Bible lessons. I helped decorate the snack room.

Summer is almost over, which means school shopping. I haven't been in school for 11 years, but I still love shopping for supplies.

Earlier today, I met up with my kids' friends and their mom, and our kids bowled. Kids bowl for free during the summer.

[midnightstar1031]

2026/07/01

Today was just one of those days 😮‍💨 But at least I remembered to eat and hydrate. 😋

From earlier: sunny side egg on buttered biscuit with Sliced meat and cheese. Water and Poppi punch

[midnightstar1031]

2026/06/30

The summer is a difficult time. Some might like it because the sun is out and freely go outside, or cool off in the water, or they love it due to school being out.

But for a mom like me. Being home all day, while my children play, is more stress than I'd like.

Trying to find things for my children to do is harder than it might seem. It's either all costs money, or we need to drive there. A lot of places I like going to are now overly crowded in the summer.

The library can be fun, but only for so long. It has a summer lunch program for the kids, which is great! But when the kids want to go to the library. Every. Single. Day, for the lunch program, then stay for an hour or so afterwards. my social battery is drained for the rest of the day by the time we get back home.

This is really just a ramble, though, as I sit here at the library waiting for my kids to get done playing.

I tried to get pictures without other children in them.

[midnightstar1031]

2026/04/07: Moving

After 6 years of living with my parents. My little family is finally getting a place of our own!

Packing up my things is making me sad. This house was my home from my teen years, almost 20 years, and my things won't be in this house ever again.

[midnightstar1031]

2026/06/27

I'm very proud of my husband.

We're in the 10th year of our marriage, in the last 2 or 3 years he's been dealing with feelings and thoughts.

I won't go into details because that's him thing to tell. But because of them, he's been getting upset at himself, and believed something must was wrong with him.

I've been supportive with him in any way I can. (I'd be a hypocrite if I wasn't 🩷💛💙) I told him there's nothing wrong. And that I'm happy he's telling me all this.

I tell him, if he wants to act, to experience, that's okay, just be careful.. and come back home to me.

Happy Pride 🏳️‍🌈

[midnightstar1031]

having a child like nature (and going to thereapy for 10+ years) gives me a better connections to how our children feel.

that being said my husband isn't as understanding with our childrens feeling and emotions. He gets frustrated easily. not abusing (luckilly) but just loud and cursing a lot. not towards anyone specific but just in general.

He was raised by his mother and that's how she parents also. It just seems like they don't cars about the children's feelings.

Now, I don't spoil the children, I just don't yell at them or punish them for being kids.

[midnightstar1031]

~2026/05/10~

Today is Mother's Day. I have a loving husband and 3 wonderful kids.

While my children were at church with my parents, my husband woke me up this morning to take me to.. home depot. To get supplies to install our washer and dryer.

We bought Cinnamon Rolls on our way back. Because ofbwhat day it was.

Once we got back, I made the cinnamon rolls while he messed with the washer and dryer. He told me to relax, knowing what day it was.

I sat on the couch with a eye mask on my face trying by to relax. Because of what day it was.

My children came home and gave me cards they made in Sunday school. My husband is still working on the washer and dryer. He said he'd be done soon and spend time with me. Because of what day it was.

I fell asleep with the eye mask on, when I woke up, he was still messing with the washer and dryer, this time my son was helping him. I asked how it's going, he said it'll going okay. I slowly nod and go back to the couch watching him.

He got done around dinner time, it was leftovers.

That's how my mothers day was, we have a working washer and dryer now.

[midnightstar1031]

~2026/06/07~

Afternoon

Am I just a verbal punching bag? Because I don't like yelling back. Because I get emotional easily. I just stay quiet. If talking to me is this much of a hassle, I'll just go. I stay quiet to survive. I refuse to talk back. I refuse the abuse. I am already alone. I can't stand this. Not anymore.

[midnightstar1031]

~2026/06/07~

Morning

Useless. I feel useless. I am useless. Why am I even here? What is my purpose? I used to do things. I have been replaced. I am no longer needed. I am nothing. I feel nothing. Do I even need to be here anymore? There is nothing here for me. I can't. Not anymore. No more. Nothing.

[midnightstar1031]

weight

writing weekly or even monthly was difficult, I realized. But today I feel good.

My weight today, 2026/04/06, is 261.2 lbs.

This may not be a huge difference from the beginning of the year. BUT I was fluctuating over the last few months, but over the last couple of weeks, I was going down. So that makes me happy.

Cutting out or limiting bread/bread products and sugars definitely helps with weight loss.

[midnightstar1031]

Breakfast sandwich

Bread - Toasted

Egg - fried?

Cheese - melted

Meat - crisp

Spread - spreaded

Toasted wheat bread with a light spread of Dijon mustard. An egg fried with a piece of cheese on it to melt the cheese. Once moved to toast, Sliced meat, I didn't have anything else, crisped a little in same pan as eggs. Moved to toast as well. Ensembles and cut diagonally. Enjoyed.

Drink of choice: coffee

[midnightstar1031]

Plethium

A break or disturbance in pattern or routine.

Example: if there's a log in a path, it's a plethium.

Advanced Example: Being off from work a day you're normally not is a plethium to others.

[midnightstar1031]

New Year

It's the New Year. The middle of January, to be specific. I didn't want to weigh myself, but I knew I needed to have a starting point.

January Weight: 267.0 as of 16th

What changes have I made? 1. I replaced energy drinks in the afternoon with natural flavored coconut water. 2. Added more vegetables to my everyday eating. 3. walked more

I'll leave it with a monthly weight and what I changed to be simple. Making even small changes is still a success.

January has the most changes because it's the beginning of the year.

Hopefully, I'll remember to update the process weekly or monthly.

[midnightstar1031]

Walking

This morning I walked my child to school, which was a 20-minute walk from our house. The reason I haven't done it before is that I have another child at a different school.

Anyways, it was a 20-minute walk to the front gate, but she wanted me to walk her to the door, so that added 10 minutes. This isn't a math problem, so sorry if it sounds like it. It was a total of 50 minutes, and I've felt energetic, awake, and motivated to do things. I guess blood pumping through my body at a good rate actually does something.

I still have to walk to pick her up, but it feels good to get out and do things. Even if it's just walking.