synopsis: When Cameron Cade, star football player, invited you, resident introvert, to a celebration party, it was hard to say no. Even harder to not fall into his charming trap.
a/n: wow, i haven't written anything on here in a long time, but i recently watched him (still not sure how i feel abt it) and tyriq???? baby, tyriq mfn withers??? yeah, that's my future husband so enjoy! might change this to an oc and make it a series but iâm too #lazy.
also i got tired at the end cause it's 3am and i just wanna get this out so iâll maybe edit/update that part as well
Cameron Cade is a hard man to ignore and an even harder man to say no to. Thatâs why, when he personally extended an invitation to a post-game celebration at a random house, you begrudgingly accepted. You chalk it up to merely being a friend of a friend of a friend, though your roommate's connections to his teammates have very little to do with how well you and Cam connected.
You're generally shy, and that worsens with every casual and deep conversation you two have. You blame it on those green eyes and dimpled smile that he totes around. Throw in his charm, height, and lean build, and you were practically itching to jump on him with no confidence to do so.
You were almost bouncing off the walls earlier in preparation. From washing a week's worth of dirty laundry to changing your sheets to making and eating (and making a mess of) some curry shrimp and rice for dinner.
The mess part started when you shook a Tupperware container that was less covered than you thought it was and got curry all over your first outfit. Your roommate saved you with her slightly better options. Exit the large t-shirt and baggy jeans you started with, and enter the very small tank top, shorts, and sneakers that you stole from her closet.
Even now, your roommate supports you from the other side of the party, where she's making out with another member of the football team. You, on the other hand, found solace in a corner, head bopping to the music playing, and sipping on a cup of whatever mixture of liquor yet another football player threw together.
You watch Cam in the distance, laughing with his friends in the haze of alternating blue and red lighting. You wondered if he knew you were here. Granted, when he asked you to come over, you didn't really give him a complete answer, settling on 'I'll think about it.'
There wasn't much thought to it, really. You just didn't want to sound too eager.
Juggling the purse nudged onto your shoulder, your phone, and your drink felt like enough work for tonight. Somewhere down the line, you decided staring at him might be the creepiest thing you've done in the name of being noticed, so you avert your gaze to a random social media app on your phone.
You scroll mindlessly, giggling at the occasional post before you feel someone's presence directly in front of you. You look up, prepared to kindly reject whoever approached you.
"You made it," Cam gawks, almost sarcastically surprised. He's just as handsome as he was in the daytime, six hours ago. "I thought you were gonna leave me hanging."
You scrunch your nose as you fight your smile. "You know I couldn't do that." Well, if this were any earlier in your guys' friendship (?), you probably could. You were notorious for skipping out on things like this, preferring the comfort of your bed or a smaller kickback. "I saw you scored a couple of touchdowns tonight." You try to talk about his role in football despite how little you know of the entire sport.
Cameron Cade smirks that glorious smirk and nods down at you, his 6'5" self towering over you. "You know, something slight. I didn't see you in the crowd, though."
You don't tell him that you spent the entire game running around your apartment in search of that first outfit and that you couldn't spare the short time between the game ending and this party beginning to convince yourself to even come out tonight. "You tryna say you were looking for me?"
His eyes drift from yours to your mouth before running down the length of your outfit. Your stomach turns nervously. As much as you hate being perceived, being perceived by this specific gorgeous man is enough to have you running down fourteen blocks screaming at the top of your lungs.
"Yeah, I was," he says, as if he's saying his ABCs. Even over the music blasting, his voice was smooth and velvety and sending shivers down your spine. He pulls his bottom lip into his mouth and takes the cup from your hand to put it on a random side table. He then slides his hand into yours. "Dance with me."
Your cheeks heat, and arm hairs raise with goosebumps. You silently nod and step with him as he walks backward, making sure to keep his eyes on you, as if this is too good to be true and you'll run away if he looks anywhere else.
The song playing isn't what typically plays at a party like thisâit's too angsty. Too slow. Yet, it's perfect for Tyriq to spin you around and press your back against his chest. He wraps his arms around your waist and nudges his face into the crook of your neck. It feels too romantic, and all you can do is rock against him, feeling the music flow through you, and your nerves feel like they're on fire.
You can feel his breath on your ear as he holds you, and nothing has felt as right as this does. "We done playing this cat and mouse game?"
You finally smile. "Are you the cat in this situation?"
You feel him nod into your neck, and then...he brushes his lips against the skin. Trying not to shiver under his touch might be the hardest thing you've had to do all semester. "Hell yeah, I'm the cat. I've been tryna chase you the past couple weeks."
You roll your eyes and turn in his grasp before wrapping your arms around his neck. This tall ass man. He already has a wide smile on his face, and you can't help but shoot one back at him.
Shoutout liquid courage. "Take me on a date, and I'll think about it."
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"Baby, take over." Kiera groans as a wave of heat rushes over her. She releases the stroller holding the twins and allows Chris to grab a hold of it. "Whew, I think this was a bad idea."
Chris guffaws, "I've been telling you, Ki."
"No you didn't," The woman defends, "You said 'it's a beautiful day outside, woifey, why don't we go for a little walk and put the babies to sleep.'"
Chris pauses and looks at his wife, "Do I really sound like that? I don't sound like that."
Rolling her eyes, the mother of two grabs the cold bottle of water from the bag right behind the stroller and presses it against her brown skin. She should've been used to the Australian heat by now, but low and behold â she can't even manage 32°C (90°F). She blames it on the fact that she's been pushing the stroller with her two babies for the last twenty-five minutes.
That was her way of trying to bounce back to her pre-pregnancy body â by pushing a stroller as if that was the correct way to work out.
Well, better than nothing.
"Even the snake doesn't like it." Kiera notices the coiled up animal on the other side of the street. Usually, she'd be back home in T-minus 1 minute at the sight of Australia's many beasts, but with her husband by her side, she feels slightly better about it.
Chris rolls his eyes playfully despite the sweaty tendril of hair that falls into his face, "I've been telling you we should've stayed in and started that new Netflix show."
Kiera sends him a look, "First of all..." She pokes his bulging bicep, "You already started it, with your annoying, impatient self. Second of all, if we stayed in, you know those babies wouldn't be asleep until ten o'clock tonight."
He scrunches his face and glances down at the two girls in the stroller, cuddled up in each other. Ever since they were born, Myah and Kyah had been inseparable. Though they're barely one year old, they've begun defending each other from Chris's playful antics and they do pretty much everything together â including screaming more than they sleep.
And they have their own baby talk that Chris also seems to be in tune with. Not surprisingly.
Chris shrugs in realization, "Point made." He looks to his wife and sees that her eyes are now closed in satisfaction, the water leaving slight red marks on her skin from pressing it against herself so hard. Is he even a good husband if he doesn't make a joke of the distressing moment? "What is that smell?"
Kiera already knows what's coming and rolls her eyes, "Don't you dare."
"Smells like disappointment and an unfit woman."
She scoffs in dramatic offense, "Damn, put your arm down then. Gonna infiltrate the whole of Byron Bay."
Yeah, he was expecting that. Hence why he snatches the bottle of water from her grasp and pries it open, much to her protest.
"No, Chris, use the other bottle. I already know what you're about to do." She argues, poking his sides to no prevail.
He gasps dramatically, and pulls the bottle the rest of the way open, "Too late. Want some?" Without waiting for a response, he pours the ice cold water over his wife's torso, significantly cooling her body but she doesn't want to admit that.
Her matching white shirt sticks to her skin as she scoffs and mumbles, "Bitch."
Chris tries not to burst out laughing but as Kiera grabs the bottle from his grasp and reciprocates to him what he did to her, he stops pushing the stroller and throws his head back in anticipation and satisfaction.
"Damn, that feels good." He shimmies his torso into an odd dance move, his feet hopping from side to side. Kiera laughs as he mocks a strip tease, flipping his hair side to side and pulling his shirt away from his skin, "Give me more, baby mama."
"Shut up." She presses a hand to his taut stomach and pushes him away lightly but he just chuckles deeply and takes a hold of her arm to pull her into him.
With wet clothes practically translucent against the other, the couple finds themselves caught up in each other's stares.
Their lips meet and Kiera bites his bottom lip in the midst of their kiss. It's short, sweet, a refreshing release from the unbearable heat surrounding them.
Kiera chuckles as she pulls away, "Alright, that's enough for now, baby daddy."
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( gif by @unearthlydust )
Walking into the house, you let out an exhausted groan. Your head is dragging under the weight of the braids you just got done and your eyes droop from sitting in a salon chair for nine hours. You're starving and tired, but hey, at least you look cute.
You drop your keys on the counter and venture further into the living room where you can hear the Dream Song from Sharkboy and Lavagirl. That must mean Zara is still up.
The last time you checked your phone, it was 8:23 PM, not quite her bedtime. You're curious about what her and Chris spent the day doing â watching movies, playing games. Judging by the pile of toys pushed off in the corner, they definitely played games.
"Hello, my babies," You greet them, dramatically, throwing your arms out and flashing your hair to show it off. You capture your family's attention as you step toward them.
"Mommy!" Your four-year-old squeals and jumps out of her father's lap, her tiny legs running towards you.
"Hi," You laugh and lift her into your arms. She kisses your cheeks with a pizza stained mouth, making you lean back and try to wipe her mouth with your hands. "You're eating pizza with daddy?"
"And watching Sharkboy and Lavagirl." She adds, excitedly. With her in your arms, you walk over to the couch and plop down beside your husband who was staring at you with adoration.
He smiles at you as Zara already moves back into his lap, "Hi, my beautiful wife."
"Hello, my wonderful husband." You grin, cheekily. His eyes shift to the Bohemian braids that span your entire back and stops at the start of your ass.
"I like your hair, babe." He says, "Looks really good."
"Yeah, mommy," Zara speaks up as she shoves another slice of pizza into her mouth, "Your hair is really pretty."
"Thank you, mama." You thank her, "You know not to talk with food in your mouth, though."
She nods and looks back to the TV, allowing you to avert your attention back to Chris, "Thank you, baby." You cup his jaw with one hand and kiss his lips, quickly, before Zara can push you two apart, which she's known for.
That's not enough for him though, because he leans in and captures your lips into another one. Pulling away, he scans your face.
"Alright, Imma go try to put this hair up and take a shower. Make sure she doesn't stay up too late."
"Eat something first." He says, motioning to the box of pizza on the coffee table, "Might be a little cold." That doesn't stop you from grabbing two slices and sandwiching them together.
Before you can get up, Zara starts to bounce on Chris's knee, "Mommy, mommy, mommy," She rambles.
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( gif by @unearthlydust )
Walking into the house, you let out an exhausted groan. Your head is dragging under the weight of the braids you just got done and your eyes droop from sitting in a salon chair for nine hours. You're starving and tired, but hey, at least you look cute.
You drop your keys on the counter and venture further into the living room where you can hear the Dream Song from Sharkboy and Lavagirl. That must mean Zara is still up.
The last time you checked your phone, it was 8:23 PM, not quite her bedtime. You're curious about what her and Chris spent the day doing â watching movies, playing games. Judging by the pile of toys pushed off in the corner, they definitely played games.
"Hello, my babies," You greet them, dramatically, throwing your arms out and flashing your hair to show it off. You capture your family's attention as you step toward them.
"Mommy!" Your four-year-old squeals and jumps out of her father's lap, her tiny legs running towards you.
"Hi," You laugh and lift her into your arms. She kisses your cheeks with a pizza stained mouth, making you lean back and try to wipe her mouth with your hands. "You're eating pizza with daddy?"
"And watching Sharkboy and Lavagirl." She adds, excitedly. With her in your arms, you walk over to the couch and plop down beside your husband who was staring at you with adoration.
He smiles at you as Zara already moves back into his lap, "Hi, my beautiful wife."
"Hello, my wonderful husband." You grin, cheekily. His eyes shift to the Bohemian braids that span your entire back and stops at the start of your ass.
"I like your hair, babe." He says, "Looks really good."
"Yeah, mommy," Zara speaks up as she shoves another slice of pizza into her mouth, "Your hair is really pretty."
"Thank you, mama." You thank her, "You know not to talk with food in your mouth, though."
She nods and looks back to the TV, allowing you to avert your attention back to Chris, "Thank you, baby." You cup his jaw with one hand and kiss his lips, quickly, before Zara can push you two apart, which she's known for.
That's not enough for him though, because he leans in and captures your lips into another one. Pulling away, he scans your face.
"Alright, Imma go try to put this hair up and take a shower. Make sure she doesn't stay up too late."
"Eat something first." He says, motioning to the box of pizza on the coffee table, "Might be a little cold." That doesn't stop you from grabbing two slices and sandwiching them together.
Before you can get up, Zara starts to bounce on Chris's knee, "Mommy, mommy, mommy," She rambles.
summary: Kiera has a hard time going to sleep due to pregnancy pain but she read something that helps with that.
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"I am so fucking tired." Kiera cries in annoyance as she nuzzles under Chris's thick bicep. He allows her to burrow her bonnet covered head into his hold.
He exhales, "Then go to sleep, Ki." His voice is deeper than the usual â why wouldn't it be? It's three in the morning and his wife keeps waking him up every hour to complain that she can't sleep.
Kiera sighs, "You know I can't." Pregnancy has been hard on Ki's body â her back, her shoulders, her head... she's just struggling at the moment and what can usually fix that is comfort provided by her husband. Now that she's on the third and fourth additions to the family, but just a few months along, she's in pain.
She watches as Chris finally peeks an eye open â it's like she gained night vision along with constant migraines.
He runs his eyes over her face in sympathy, "Back or belly?"
Kiera thinks about it for a moment, "Both."
The man pecks his wife's lips before turning her around, pressing her back against his taut chest. He rests a hand on her pregnant belly and kisses her shoulder.
"I read something..." Kiera looks out through the bedroom sliding door to watch the waves of the sea crash against the shore.
Chris's fingers travel in a circle around Kiera's belly button, "Hmm. You can read?"
The singer grunts and reaches back to hit her husband's shoulder, "Fuck you." He chuckles and kisses her shoulder again as an apology, "Anyways, back to what I was saying before you so rudely interrupted â I read something online about orgasms helping with pain."
"Where'd you read that? Twitter?" Chris snorts, slowly being knocked out of his stupor.
Kiera turns to face him, taking in the smug smirk on his face, "Keep playing me, Chris. Acting like I won't kick you out this bed."
He's unbothered as he burrows his face in the crook of her neck, pressing soft kisses to her skin. Kiera remains firm in her resolve. Chris chuckles and removes his hand from her stomach to tilt her neck so he has more space to work. "Then however would you get that orgasm, sweetheart?"
"Remember that gift you gave me when you were leaving to go to India for Extraction?"
Chris gasps, dramatically, "You wouldn't dare."
"Try me."
The gift Kiera was referring to was the trusty grey vibrator situated in her night table. Chris knew he was going to be gone for a while and didn't want to leave his wife all high and dry so he got her something to help her out while he was gone.
It's probably the best gift she's received in her entire life because while it might not have the same finesse as Chris, it sure does get the job done.
Taking his silence as an answer, Kiera allows the smug smirk to grow on her face.
"Now, please fuck me to sleep, Chris."
The man groans, "Is this what I've been reduced to in our marriage?" As he speaks, he turns his wife so her back is against him and proceeds to remove the boxers she stole from him, "Just a piece of meat here to bring you pleasure?"
Kiera twists her head back to look at him with a raised eyebrow, "Unless you wanna carry these kids â"
Knowing what she's getting at, the actor sighs and pulls down his underpants before running his tongue up three fingers, "As you wish, madam."
he asked her out for coffee while on the red carpet and of course, paparazzi caught a candid photo of kiera practically losing her mind. a week passed and coffee turned into dinner, dinner turned into a sixth date, and before the two knew it, they were one year into dating before they decided to publicize it.
there were the haters, the racists (all of which chris spoke out against), and then kiera's favorites â the die-hard chris fans that rode hard for her too.
now chris and kiera are newly married after five years of dating, kiera is living in australia with her husband, and they have twins on the way.
this is definitely a dream worth living.
fair warning: none of this is in chronological order lmfaooo i don't have the patience â i'll write as the ideas come to me âš
Requested by Anon // Hellooo honeyy!!! How are You? Hope You good! Could I request a jax teller x reader! Jax is on accident but is just fake bc he then proposes to the reader? Thank youđđ
A/N: god itâs been a while since I wrote for my baby đ
Summary: Chris is on set longer than you expected and you send him nudes for the first time, he does the same leading you both to be hot and bothered by the time you see each other.Â
âTake a break everyoneâ yelled the director. Everyone scattered around the set, pulling their phones out of their pockets.
His phone buzzed a few times and when he saw your name pop up on the screen he moved to a more discreet part of set and he was glad he did. When he clicked open your message a photo appeared
âJesusâ he gasped clutching his phone to his chest and glancing around to make sure no one was near
Heâd tried for a long time to get you to send nudes to him, but you always refused, self-conscious about your body and having something so intimate permanently on his phone never sat well with you. This time it was different, this was the longest the both of you were without each other. It had already been 4 months and usually by the 3- month mark, Chris would come and visit you or you would go see him. You would then have to suffer the next few months without each other and make do with the frequent phone sex calls.
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all throughout dinner, chris was being his beefy, annoying, fine ass white frat boy self with that muscle top and backwards cap and tattoos and muscles on display... maaaaaaaaaaaan, fuck him. literally.
WARNINGS â
18+ smut (of course), penetration without protection ( remember y'all, no glove, no love ) , oral (female receiving), over stimulation, dirty talk, slight praise kink, a peck of aftercare
NOTES â
this headcanon is based on a pic i saw on twitter lmfaoooooooooooo plus chris and his weekly thirst trap. also this video on twitter â don't open the link around people lmfaooo. i do not own this gif of chris!
also y'all, feel free to request headcanons or imagine, etc. i'd be glad to write for you! <33
( not my gif )
you have had it up to đ here with chris and his annoying self
since this year's thanksgiving is significantly different from last year, you'd gathered with chris, scott, their mom and sisters and your parents who'd been quarantined for two weeks in preparation for tonight
you don't know who gave him the damn right to be walking (well, sitting) around looking this buff and cuddly
everyone who didn't live with you and chris (and scott at the moment) took extra precautions by wearing masks whenever they're not eating
you deadass paid attention to nothing but chris's meaty arms whenever he stretched into the center of the table and a vein popped
or whenever he would swing an arm to rest behind your seat when he was finished eating and engaging in dinner conversation with your parents
the night was chill and laid back â you didn't even feel like dressing up too much
and then chris just HAD TO WEAR THE MUSCLETOP
he didn't put the cap back on until everybody scattered from the dinner table
and damn, were you trying to not jump him
it was when everybody left and scott retreated to his room that things started to go down
it was late as hell and you were making your night-time mint tea
he walked into the kitchen with an empty glass of water
"you want some tea, babe?" you'd asked him
your back was turned to him so you didn't see when he put the glass in the sink and approach you, a slick smirk on his face
"im good. but i could go for something else." he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you back into him
next thing you know, you're laid on the bed, buck ass naked, your back against his chest and his fingers rubbing on your soaked clit
he'd already given you two orgasms with his tongue, now he's going for a third with his fingers
he has one hand wrapped around your throat, craning your neck back to meet his lips
he groans against your lips, "c'mon, baby... i know you got some more left in you. there you go."
this man has you shaking like a major earthquake is ramming through you
luckily, scott's room is on the other side of chris's boston home â cause the way you're screaming is loud enough to wake just about anybody up
"fuck!" you ride out your orgasm against his naked body, his erection pressing up against the small of your back
"good job, sweetheart." he moans at the sight of you â your eyes flutter closed and you take your bottom lip into your mouth, "think we can go for four?"
you can't even open your mouth to answer so you just hum and nod, slowly but eagerly
he slips into your wet cunt without problem â you're so slick that he lets out a pleased grunt, savoring in your warmth
with one hand still around your throat and the other rubbing your clit, you both release loud moans
"fucking hell, baby, you're so fucking wet..."
at his words, you can't help but grind back against him, his hips snapping up into you and your ass pushing against him
chris is so lost in the pleasure of chasing his orgasm that he moves his fingers from your clit and grabs and squeezes your breast, pinching your nipples
he's so deep in you that when you close your eyes, you see stars
your skin is layered in sweat, sweat that chris has no problem dragging his tongue along
he grunts into your ear, "come on, baby, i know you can give me another one."
the pleasure is insane
and yes, you can give him another one
and you do â your body seizing and tears running down your face
but that's not where it ends
even when you're shaking from your sudden high, chris is still snapping his hips into you
"wait wait wait" you reach a hand back and press against his stomach, making him pause immediately â he knows your limits
you gulp, finally able to catch your breath as he peppers kisses up and down your neck
"you okay?" he asks you, sweetly, gingerly running a hand over your skin
he massages your breasts to soothe the soreness from the grip he had on you
you take a moment to calm your breathing, chris rocking in you slowly, sending a shockwave of pleasure through you
"you're alright, y/n, i gotchu. it's okay, i'm here."
WHEW HIS VOICE WHEN HE SAYS THAT TO YOU
you allow yourself fifteen seconds before you finally nod your head and crane your neck back to kiss him, "i'm good."
that's his signal to keep doing what he was doing â but harder and faster
the hand that was around your throat intertwines with your fingers as he thrusts into you with no remorse
the pleasure is OVERWHELMING with how sensitive your bud is
his manhood throbs inside of you as he feels his orgasm approach
now it's his mission to get you to get a fifth orgasm
"you like when i fuck you like this, baby?" he moans into your ear, "can feel my dick deep in this pussy?"
"fuuuuuuu â" you whimper as chris fucks you relentlessly, "i'm gonna cum, chris!"
your words didn't even come out as words, just nonsensical mush â your eyes cross and your entire body heats up
with your free hand, you grip the sheets and the edge of the bed, your body becoming numb
it's a satisfying twinge that shocks you â like when your foot falls asleep, pins and needles all over your body
your pussy clenches around your boyfriend's dick
chris moans in your ear, his orgasm washing over him â he pumps his cum into you, a shudder rambling down his spine and his manhood releasing spastic twitches
you're practically useless as your head drops on the pillow, limp and exhausted
your body seems to move on its own accord â gyrating against him to ride out your insane high
chris pulls out and runs a hand over your thigh â trying to calm you down
"good job, baby," he says, soothingly, "you did so good for me. you're amazing, you know that?"
you can only allow a small snort to escape you as you lean back into him as best you can
"how 'bout i set you a bath and bring your tea up?"
"yes please." you huff out, eagerly
general taglist : @gwenspacy @saccreigns @complacentviawattpad @rosenoirwrites @random-ficreader23 @kyla-queen
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Summary: Chris and Alex have just brought a bubbly baby boy into the world. Now they have to face the most challenging year of their lives.
Chris Evans x Black Reader, OFC!Alex
Warnings: Childbirth, mentions of death (No actual death), anxiety, swearing, Chris as a new dad FLUFF!
A/N: More of a prologue than anything.
~~~~~~~
âCome on, you got this! Just one more!â Chris encouraged
âI canât!â Alex cried, she knew it was an ugly cry too. She was covered in sweat, muscles she didnât know she had ached, and she had used every swear word in the book, including a few Romanian ones she learned from Sebastian âIâm fucking tired. I canât do it anymore.â
âYes you can baby girl.â He rubbed down Alexâs back âYouâre almost there. Youâre doing great.â
Two years of dating, two more of marriage and trying to a baby, nine long months of pregnancy and ten longer hours of labor and Alex and Chris were just a strong push away from meeting their son.Â
Alex clutched down on Chrisâs hand, and took in a huge breath before she pushed again.Â
Summary: Y/N was starting over and wasnât getting any younger. She definitely had baggage and wanted to try something where nobody knew her, moving to Boston with her new job and beginning her second act. New friends are made and she is plunged into a life she never could imagined living.
PLEASE LIKE AND LEAVE FEEDBACK and REBLOG IF YOU LIKE IT. Just please donât steal it. This is my first attempt at writing something so big and would appreciate it.
Warnings: Eventual sexual content. Language. 18+
I had been thinking about it for a while. My grandpa always told me to live it to the best of my ability because you only get one. Never take life for granted because you never know how long you have and you canât go backwards, just forward. Treat others how you want to be treated even if they do you wrong. As I have gotten older I have found that I am a firm believer in karma which is basically what my grandfather was talking about. The problem was, I was tired of being the one that was giving the good energy and still waiting for the really good things to come my way.
I already played the good little wife and had my own backstory but I was trying to keep that behind me. It was time to start over and move forward. In recent years, it felt like I worked so hard to keep my sanity because I just never felt content anymore. I was creeping up there in age, and I started to realize we really do only get one chance to do this thing called life. There really is no going back to do things later. The more I realized this, the more I tried to branch out. Unfortunately by doing this though I became a different person and apparently a person that my husband didnât want to be married to anymore. We were young when we got together and had grown so far apart, being very different people than when we got married. Just like that, I was a divorcee and on my own for the first time in a very long time. The sad part was, it didnât bother me like I imagined. How it came to be did take me a bit to get over but I wasnât thinking about that right now. I was ready to just be me, not looking for anything in particular, just doing what I wanted.
I had started writing and had become very good at it apparently because I had 2 childrenâs books published and one short novel. A company had signed me on for more books and I had a publicist named Karen. I was almost done with my second book and was set to tour around a little for signings to get my face and name out there. There was an office in Massachusetts and New York where I would be directly corresponding with people for my work. Needing a change of scenery, I let my parents know my thoughts on heading up north to maybe stay for a bit while I continue on the books I was set to write. They werenât too thrilled about me leaving but understood. I wouldnât be alone, my publicist actually had an apartment set up for instances just like mine and it was available. Nothing permanent but something for her clients just like me at the moment who were thinking of relocating but not committed to it. A sort of trial. It was perfect.
I decided to drive up so I could also take some of my belongings. The apartment was furnished so I wouldnât need furniture of my own unless I decided to stay and get my own apartment. The drive wasnât horrible but I canât stand being confined to places for long periods of time. Itâs like my brain reminds me that I am sitting still in one space even though Iâm really moving along in the car. Itâs just boring to me. If Iâm sitting down watching a movie, it doesnât effect me as much because I know I can move and Iâm not bored. But in a car, I am strapped in and canât move unless I pause my trip to my destination. Itâs hard to explain my reasoning, but in my head, itâs valid.
I made sure I had my Spotify full under the road trip folder. A mix of 80âs, 90âs music all the way up to current hits. A little bit of Cyndie Lauper, Wilson Phillips, Aerosmith, Bon Jovi, and Cranberries all the way to Harry Styles and Shawn Mendes. I had made good time with only about 10 to 15 miles to go, all of the part of the trip including interstates and highways was behind me. I was now traveling on a side road that was beside a park of some kind. There were small gravel lots along the road that looked to be for people to use for parking to take the trails connected to them into the wooded area.
All of a sudden I felt the car jolt to the side a little and the steering wheel felt funny. I pulled into one of the gravel lots to look around my car to make sure it was just a bump in the road or something. The lot was right beside the road but safer because it was away from any traffic. Wonderful, fabulous! This is freaking fantastic! One of the things I didnât learn and had made a note to do so. Change a freaking tire! To top it off, I didnât know where the spare was on my car!
Sitting there, not familiar with where exactly I was, except off the interstate and almost where I needed to be, I decided the best thing to do was to plop my head forward on to my steering wheel. Not crying, just thinking this was normal for my life. Almost where I wanted to be but still at arms length from it. Just within grasp of something I thought I wanted but clearly not enough.
After I sat wallowing in self pity for a while, I heard a tap on my left. Had I not had my seatbelt on I surely would have jumped clear across the console to the other side of the car from fright. The owner of the hand that tapped my glass jumped as high up as I did when I jumped to my right. He put both hands up, palms facing me, mouthing the word âsorryâ. I cracked my window just enough to hear him.
