Heyo, my name’s Mika (he/they/she)! I made this blog for my favorite series Given by Natsuki Kizu. I’ve been a fan of her works since 2020! I’m more of a manga oriented fan and will mostly share my fan art, fan fics, theories, analysis, and merch collection! I like to:
Casually swear
Abuse capslock + emojis
Crack bad jokes and puns
Keep track of fandom events
Interact, and answer questions!
I’m not fond of unofficial sites. I’m also not spoiler free and can be NSFW with my posts! I like talking about sensitive topics concerning Given, but I always make sure to tag everything properly.
I’m mostly on Twix (Twitter + X) but I’ll share any of what I consider as my “Tumblr worthy” thoughts here. This is my first dance with Tumblr so it’ll take some time to adjust, thank you for your patience!
P.S. I struggle with typos no matter where I go, it’ll never leave!
do you guys think haruki remembered that time years ago when akihiko was also late in meeting him because akihiko had to go and buy him a coffee as well? they are so in love with each other
the same way akihiko gave the coffee. the way haruki was surprised and smiled and laughed so softly afterwards.
This meta was originally published on Twitter and Facebook on September 13th, 2020, and saw noticeable pushback across given fandoms in every existing platform.
Since then, I’ve revisited and revised some of my views as we got newer canon materials and my own understanding of Kizu's narrative style evolved. While certain perspectives of mine have changed, the core of my overall understanding of it is still unchanged.
Given the current Tumblr environment, where discussions feel more balanced and receptive to newer interpretations compared to before, I’ve finally decided to bring this piece after almost five years of writing it here. Also for archival purpose. Feel free to engage or to ignore 🙂↕️
*SPOILER FOR MANGA AND MOVIE*
TW - Abusive behavior, toxicity in relationship and toxic traits in characters.
AkiUge relationship - detailed analysis.
Those who have read the Manga please feel free to point out ANY Manga panel that might discredit what I am saying here.
--------
Disclaimer (2) : Akihiko and Ugetsu BOTH are unreliable narrators when it comes to their story, so rather than their internal monologues it's better to focus on how their story unfolded.
-------
Disclaimer (3) : Another thing is, Given actively tries to de-romanticize all the harmful tropes that are found in Shoujo or BL Mangas or in any romance for that matter. Things like presumed soul mates, irreplaceable first loves, over possessive behavior, over obsession, being a push over for the person you love, loosing your own identity for love, being so very protective of your loved one that you won't allow them to grow, one sided hopeless crushing, too much giving and not demanding anything in return in a relationship, getting too much spoilt by the one you claim to love and then pretend obliviousness, Stockholm syndrome, Lima syndrome, using one sided Love to coax unsuspecting people who have feelings for you to have sex with you, sexual violence turning into pity party and becoming true love, use of Sex as replacement of love and then it evolving into love or being unable to let each other go BECAUSE the sex is so good you become addicted to it, all of it, ALL DISGUSTING TROPES that we find in romance genres usually, she addressed them all.
So if you are into any of them, and are likely to cry over 'but they were soulmates!' or 'but it was first true love!' or 'noooo but they had chemistry!' then given is probably not for you. Given doesn't romanticize love. Given treats love rationally and beautifully. And given doesn't say romantic love is be-all end-all thing of one's life.
---------
I was holding on to do this solely because of how lazy I am, no other cause. But there had been many posts asking about this relationship in here, and particularly one teenage girl asked me to explain it as I have understood it.
So here I go.
---------
Okay, first of all, to understand AkiUge relationship we have to take it into account that Aki, and probably Ugetsu too, came from broken homes.
Especially Akihiko, his parents don't seem to love or care for him too much, seeing that they let him go with handful of money when he was merely sixteen.
Admittedly we don't know much about Ugetsu's familylife, except for the fact that he came from a very influential family and his grand father is a politician. Also his father probably is in civil service if I am remembering it correctly.
But he too, had a mansion all by himself when he was mere sixteen. Doesn't feel like a very loving warm atmosphere to grow up into.
So this loveless childhood affected them both and they had issues with properly loving someone because they, both of them, hadn't been loved properly during their childhood.
But apart from that, there's also another thing to take note of. Ugetsu has some psychological problems right from his childhood, which were inherent to him.
Kizu has hinted on it. In just a few panels she showed us what kind of person Ugetsu truly is. He thinks that he is always chasing music and death, but there's a twist into it, when he is fantasizing about death it's not himself he is trying to kill, it was the little ants or bugs that he kept killing without any reason or remorse.
Ugetsu, as Akihiko has said in his lovestruck monologue, does feel more than anyone. His feelings are as his music is, intense.
But he DOESN'T feel for others.
He didn't feel sympathy or empathy for the bugs when he was a kid, and he doesn't really care much how he hurt Akihiko again and again. His very intense feelings revolves around himself.
--------
Anyway, back to how AkiUge relationship first started, two teenagers who had already had not much of other meaningful relationships or love in their lives to begin with, met.
Akihiko especially was enamored at the first sight. The sheer amount of talent in someone so close to his age as is said that Ugetsu had, was enough to make Akihiko, the confident young blooming talent himself, loose some of his confidence and shine. Ugetsu was beautiful physically and his music touched Akihiko. He fell hard and fast, it was described like an obsession in the Manga. It WAS an obsession. Akihiko was very young and he didn't know any better. He lost his own path in music and tried to chase Ugetsu.
I see that many people seem to take that monologue of him 'virtually giving up on music' very literally, which was not the case. Akihiko had never stopped playing Violin. The day Ugetsu broke up with him (for the first time) they were performing together. He just put a stop on his own music and gradually became a shadow of Ugetsu's.
Akihiko is many things but petty is not one of them, except for him thinking that he felt immense envy, there has been no sign in the whole canon story of him ever being jealous of Ugetsu. He loved Ugetsu with his all. He keeps bragging about Ugetsu being a prodigy, he calls Ugetsu prodigy or genius in front of his face and in front of others casually, without there being any malice. He took Mafuyu to his concert, he worries about how Ugetsu is not properly dressed or hasn't combed his hair for his performance.
Akihiko is overall a very caring person and NOT a jealous person. But yes, his relationship with Ugetsu affected his music terribly because he tried to blindly follow him.
There's one thing to notice here. Ugetsu more than once said, actually every time there's a mention of Akihiko's music he kept saying that he thinks that Akihiko's music is delicate.
We need to remember that music has always been symbol of heart/love in given.
So, when Ugetsu is saying that Akihiko's music is delicate, it means that Akihiko's heart and how he loves is delicate too.
Which was not to Ugetsu's liking. He didn't like it, and Akihiko probably tried to change his own delicate style to match Ugetsu's intensity.
The point is that they were musically not compatible, and Akihiko tried to change that and chase Ugetsu with everything he got. Which in turn made Ugetsu feel suffocated. Akihiko is basically a clingy lover and Ugetsu is afraid of commitment. So when Akihiko was chasing him with everything and they were in a relationship, that somehow became Ugetsu's liability.
Ugetsu couldn't feel free with his music with Akihiko constantly chasing after him, and for Akihiko giving up his own music to chase Ugetsu's had become painful.
Again music here is actually being used as a metaphor for their relationship.
Basically, how Akihiko and Ugetsu coped with their loveless childhood had been wildly different.
Akihiko became clingy, always trying to please his loved ones in the hopes of being loved back.
Ugetsu became commitment phobic. Afraid of loving or committing himself to anyone.
So much so, that he couldn't stand to receive even a couple mug from Akihiko as a gift, cause it somehow meant a physical embodiment of their commitment to each other?
Ugetsu didn't fall for Akihiko the way Akihiko fell for him. But he was touched by Akihiko's passion for him. He got spoiled on the feeling of being loved. When Ugetsu was telling Mafuyu about their relationship, that's what he said, 'for me to be swayed like that, it was because I slowly got spoilt.'
The point in this relationship had always been this, their relationship was never on an equal ground. It had always been Akihiko chasing after Ugetsu and Ugetsu merely indulging his feeling because 'the feeling of first love was fun', which later gradually changed into him using Akihiko's feeling to feel high occasionally and withdrawing his own to be in control of the whole relationship and situation.
Yes. He said he wanted to break up with Akihiko because being with him was painful for Akihiko, and I see people zeroing on it and using it to defend Ugetsu.
But being with him wouldn't be painful for Akihiko if he could let Akihiko be himself, if he could appreciate Akihiko's music aka love and not try to change it from delicate to something else for his own taste. Akihiko's music was good, just delicate. It didn't need changing.
And secondly, what did he do to lessen Akihiko's pain? Broke up with him from his own side and used Akihiko as emotional punching bag depending on his own mood? That DIDN'T show care much less love for Akihiko. If anyone thinks that hurting someone willingly could be a form of showing love, please know it's not.
Their relationship had become a power play for Ugetsu, and gradually for both of them.
The one time AkiUge had sex in Manga timeline, Ugetsu came back from a concert, was acting very loving and seductive towards Akihiko, 'I am back after so long and you are sleeping?' 'did it (the music) make you hard?'
And when Akihiko reacted to it, he is all, 'Why don't you ever learn Akihiko?'
Because yes, right then he was going to have sex with Akihiko, he was wilfully inciting reaction in him, knowing full well that Akihiko wanted more from him, wanted his affection, which he wasn't going to give him, just sex, and then he was going to hurt him again. That was all in the plan, because Akihiko doesn't learn, no matter how Ugetsu tortures him, he stays. What a power he had over him! At this point it was not just something spontaneous, it had become totally cold hearted willing manipulation in his part. And Akihiko had become almost immune to this game. Too used to it.
There's also another thing. Ugetsu told Mafuyu that he 'loved Akihiko to death' and interestingly we don't get to see his facial expression there at this panel. I don't doubt his words here, but I doubt if he really understands himself. Because right after, in his monologue, we see him reminiscing about the joyful moments he had with Akihiko and thinking desperately that he 'wanted to be with' Akihiko but he was in love with music. Implying that he couldn't be in love with Akihiko?
The bottom line is, he wanted to be with Akihiko because how Akihiko made him feel, but he couldn't commit his own heart to Akihiko because of who he himself was as a person.
Also, I believe Kizu had done amazing research into creating all the relationships in given. All toxic traits in relationships, she managed to address them all, and very beautifully too.
Yes, what Akihiko and Ugetsu had, it felt like love to both of them. The amazing feeling, the rush of first love. But how she had structured their story? It's more limerence than love. If anyone has read this long ass essay till here, I would like them to search limerence in Google.
That word fits Akihiko and Ugetsu's relationship to the T.
And that feeling can be way more intense than real love, and just as much unhealthy.
Anyway, the thing is, even if a relationship starts with hard and fast one sided feeling, it can still develop into a healthy beautiful one.
That didn't happen with AkiUge.
Because Ugetsu didn't have any compunction in hurting Akihiko, emotionally, physically or mentally. Not once in the course of Manga did we see him regret what he did to Akihiko. He felt sorry for himself, not for Akihiko, not once.
He didn't care where Akihiko was when he wasn't there, or when he kicked him out on a whim, knowing full well that Akihiko had no place to go to.
He only cared what he himself would do if Aki didn't come back.
As I said before, Ugetsu has some deep rooted issues, which he couldn't overcome when he was with Akihiko, rather he was getting worse.
Clinginess, inability to communicate, even occasional emotional unavailability can be overcome in a relationship if both parties involved love each other and try to compromise for each other's sake. But when one is so tangled in one's own self that they don't hesitate to hurt the other one over and over and it becomes a pattern, that's when the relationship already failed.
When Ugetsu broke up with him, Akihiko didn't have a place to go, he DIDN'T want to go anywhere for that matter, cause he wasn't the one who wanted to break up. The way Ugetsu broke up with him seemed too much like ripping off a band aid, it was not easy for Akihiko to accept it.
And I don't think he took it seriously at first. They were living together. And he didn't leave Ugetsu's place, neither did Ugetsu make him leave. So it was like the break up didn't happen?
They gradually developed an unhealthy pattern. Everything would be just like it used to be for some days, and then Ugetsu would slowly feel suffocated in the semblance of an committed relationship, then he would find a way to hurt Akihiko where it hurts the most.
He would justify it in his own head thinking it is best for them both. But won't stop playing the game again and again.
THROUGHOUT THE MANGA UGETSU NEVER STOPPED PLAYING THE GAME.
After the last fight they had when he was sleeping with someone on the bed he shared with Akihiko, and Akihiko left for good, he was still waiting for him to come back. After such fights Akihiko most probably went back to him right after and they used to go on with their lives like nothing had happened. This time when it was almost clear that Akihiko wasn't coming back, he chose to unpack his own very adult problems in front of a kid who is much younger and whom Akihiko considers a valuable friend.
No other adult did that. Akihiko used his own experience to help Uecchi, but burdening the kids with their own fuck ups, no other adult person did that in Given. Even when their hearts were breaking they were keeping or at least trying to keep their masks intact in front of the kids and kept reassuring them.
Akihiko didn't have any friend either, but he wouldn't think of unpacking his own trauma in front of a kid.
That's what Ugetsu did, he turned the whole thing into a pity party for himself. And in front of someone who is Akihiko's friend essentially. It's copybook toxic abusive behavior. And Ugetsu might not be able to understand this in himself, but he has almost every toxic tendency.
Pleading with and telling others, minors at that, how you only hurt people because you want what is good for them? Not willing or trying to change yourself but wanting people to understand why you did things to hurt someone?
As I said, copy book abuser toxic behavior.
And teenagers please beware of it in anyone. Mafuyu is a very smart capable kid. Kizu wrote him, so he is able to dodge that manipulation, not fall for the trap...
But the sweet temptation of fruitless pining might look very beautiful to you. It's not. It's dangerous.
OK, moving on, sometimes later when Akihiko found the courage to go see Ugetsu, and to tell him that he wanted to try playing different kind of music, Ugetsu hit him. Because to him it seemed like Akihiko was quitting violin?
And I see people saying 'oh no, he just wanted the best for Akihiko!'
Just NO! Even if Akihiko really meant that he was going to quit violin, it doesn't justify Ugetsu's actions, and he had no reason to act the way he did. It's obsessive behavior! It's not wanting what is best for another person, it's wanting to be the one who made decisions for them! Akihiko should have been free to choose whatever he wants to do with his life, music or otherwise. Moreover, Ugetsu himself didn't want any kind of commitment between them.
But, here's the twist, actually he didn't want commitment from his own side. He totally wanted Akihiko's heart to belong to him completely.
And when you put it like that, it becomes understandable. Yes he hurt Akihiko because he was hurting himself and afraid that Akihiko will leave him for good this time.
But it had nothing to do with selflessness and to color it as selflessness makes Kizu's efforts useless.
Ugetsu hurts Akihiko when he clings to him, he hurts Akihiko when he tries to leave. He just hurts Akihiko for every emotional turmoil he himself is having. And that's a pattern. It's not an one time thing.
Ugetsu Murata might not be a black and white pure villain character, but he is one of the most selfish characters in given. Nothing about him is selfless.
When Akihiko was trying to break things off with him for good after CAC, these all came to an head.
I for one was really shocked and appalled when Ugetsu said 'I am not stopping because you are going to break up with me.'
Because, firstly, it implied that they were in a relationship? Which... Akihiko might have thought that he held on to his feelings for Ugetsu, but he also thought that to Ugetsu he was only a sex buddy or gigolo.
Yes, Ugetsu kept sending mixed signals, it had become a game and deep down Akihiko knew he was being played with, but to blatantly imply something like this when at long last Akihiko was trying to move on? It's very manipulative behavior.
And secondly, it totally implied that he didn't want Akihiko to break up with him? Which... if Akihiko had even one ounce feeling left for him it could have become very painful for him to hear this confession from Ugetsu just when he was ready to move on.
The fact is Akihiko stopped being in love with Ugetsu way earlier, what they still had was just trauma bonding.
And he already found true love in Haruki, that's why it didn't affect him much, except for how it startled him somehow.
But if he wasn't so in love with Haruki, a confession like this could have derailed every progress he had made.
Trauma bonding is a very powerful feeling. It makes people too much Co dependent on each other. It makes people do things that from deep down their heart they don't want to do.
And just as Ugetsu has every sign of being the abusive manipulator, Akihiko carries every sign of being the victim in an abusive relationship. He has strong feelings of trauma bonding towards Ugetsu. He is afraid of Ugetsu. He is distrustful of him. He literally told Haruki that he is afraid to go back to the basement.
Right after Akihiko started living with Haruki, there had been a panel showing him outside of Ugetsu's house, contemplative look on his face, and when that chapter came out, we the readers thought he might have had been thinking about going back to Ugetsu or yearning for him. But in retrospect, it was him trying to face the source of his trauma. Because he had to face it to get rid of it.
When during the first day performance of CAC Akihiko went to Ugetsu's, his body language was totally of an abuse victim's. He couldn't look at Ugetsu's face or eyes when he was telling him that he was going to leave the place. He was totally expecting to be hit or emotionally manipulated again. And he was right. Ugetsu climbed on top of him, yelled at him and hit him. Asked him manipulative questions which we saw made Akihiko question his own music during the performance. Ugetsu's facial expression is dark here. Almost too painful and revolting.
Akihiko's facial expression here is heartbreaking. He was afraid of descending into hell again.
And he was so shook he had to seek comfort from his only source of light, Haruki, right after.
He waited for Haruki outside their apartment to welcome him home, he waited to be welcomed home. He needed the assurance that there was a place where he wasn't going to get hurt just because he wanted to be loved and showed his vulnerable side. Haruki was and had always been Akihiko's safe harbor. Haruki kept everyone safe, he kept Akihiko safe too. He had become the home that Aki yearned for so much. Under this security, under this knowledge that even after he showed Haruki his worst side he was still cared for, regardless of if he was loved anymore or not, at least cared for, Akihiko gained his own light and music again.
The thing to understand is, right after Akihiko had hurt Haruki, he had decided to get worthy of Haruki, if for nothing else, at least so that he could wipe the hurt he had subjected Haruki to. At least to let him know how much he actually was loved and wasn't used, how much Akihiko did need him and how much he was worth every single thing that he thought he was not worthy of. Akihiko hurt Haruki because Akihiko was trash, not because Haruki wasn't worthy. That's what Akihiko needed for Haruki to understand and believe.
But Akihiko couldn't do that or even try to redeem himself until he could get out of his trauma. It took him three months of close contact of Haruki's light and care to believe in his own worth again. It took him three months of Haruki teaching him how to keep ballance in a relationship, how to care for people without expecting anything in return, or how to just not be toxic, to shed off the two years old trauma he had subjected himself to.
Okay, I will end the rant here with the examples of Ugetsu crying and Akihiko crying.
Kizu is, as I say over and over, a Goddess, and no panel means nothing.
Why we see front view of Ugetsu's crying broken face, and why we get only the side view of Akihiko's crying face (and Haruki's for that matter) has cinematic relevance.
Ugetsu IS a broken person. He showed no sign of self improvement, no sign of trying to break the toxicity he built upon himself. Not self love, nor the love for another person, could help him. He stays in the basement feeling pity for himself, waiting to be saved.
And here in this panel, he cried for his own self. He cried because at long last Akihiko was free from his clutches. His tears were not for Akihiko, Akihiko found love, Akihiko found music, he just witnessed it himself. He cried because he was feeling sorry for himself.
And that's what he deserved and got from audience too. Pity.
Ugetsu Murata is one very pitiful character.
And my heart breaks for him.
Akihiko on the other hand cried the same night, the same time, thinking of Haruki. Not because Haruki had left him, no, Haruki had left him way before.
He cried that night, after he felt free from his long lasting trauma, because he had hurt Haruki.
And his monologue? He had to tell Haruki that he loved him, he had to tell Haruki that he was sorry! Not because he was expecting to be accepted anytime soon, he wasn't, he was in no hurry to conquer. He had not dared to hope for his love to be returned.
He cried because he had hurt the person he loved the most, he cried because he had hurt Haruki's already fragile self esteem, he had made Haruki feel that he was in a superior position just because Haruki fell in love with him. The person who falls in love is never the inferior one, the person who mocks that love is, but we tend to forget that.
Akihiko had to make himself fit so that he could look Haruki in the eyes and tell him that.
And that's why he was ready to struggle to become worthy of Haruki. He had made up his mind. Akihiko here? Is the strongest Akihiko. He doesn't need anyone's pity. He has things to fight for.
And that's what he gets from the audience too.
Not pity. Who dares feel pity for Akihiko?
Hatred, for that one lapse he made that one fateful night, from a portion of fans.
And it's understandable when you don't want to dig too deep in your character study or when you are a teenager full of rage. Akihiko wouldn't mind being hated by these fans.
And from others, full compassion and love and support for what he truly is, a beautiful young man who almost got broken but still stood up and learnt to love and live for the person that he truly loved. To save that person and get saved in return.
Akihiko, who fought to get better and was rewarded for it. The best and sweetest reward of them all. Haruki's love.
Can I just say, I understand how its important for Mafuyu's closure that he was dragged to the concert however, in actuality, this was also the biggest final challenge, a grand display of Mafuyu's personal growth
This comes with acknowledging what Mafuyu's main issue actually is: the lack of control he has over his life. It is an evident scenario even from the very beginning that decisions are often forced upon him, and that all his opinions and wants are to forcefully shut. That they did not matter, for whatever his reason may be. These decisions have brought him great burden that he alone has to carry.
The first time he asserted himself was when he decided to enroll at a different school than SYH. And as we know, things did not go to plan, creating turmoil within the friendship group and, most especially, the relationship, leaving a lasting traumatic impact on him.
The only place where he, his thoughts, and ideas were met with patience and given priority was within 'Given', and we can see him trust once more as he starts to assert his wants and ideas
Consciously he realizes he is being valued and that his voice mattered. This issue is highlighted more during this conversation he had with Ritsuka wherein he takes notice and addresses this to Mafuyu- it was a boost to his confidence! An assurance that being selfish/assertive was not explicitly a bad thing
It was until things started to move rapidly once again, triggering Mafuyu to go back to how he was before. The same cycle repeats, and now we see him forced into making a decision he absolutely did not necessarily need to take right at that moment. Let's be real, it did not matter if he went or not, and there could have been more ways to go with the situation; however, this is a story and it had to be written as such for this exact situation
What situation? Stepping out of one's own comfort zone and facing a challenge despite heightened emotions. One he had been in before and deathly feared to be in once again.
Ugetsu riled Mafuyu's anxieties, acting exactly like all of those that backed Mafuyu into that uncomfortable corner once before
However, although he could not really disagree with Ugetsu and assert his boundaries, being thrust into the situation, he had turned his priorities to the things that he could control, something he could not so much have done before, thus showing how he regains control over his life. This time it turned to wanting and choosing to be in the situation. And as we know, Mafuyu isnt the type to back out on promises, especially those which pursues his heart despite all anxiety and hesitation
He will show up
And he continued to show up, even when he had to face that fear alone. And that had always been Mafuyu's nature, but this time done decisively with no hesitation
I find this final book to be a wonderful full-circle way to close off Mafuyu's story. Despite how dark the book goes, it ends in triumph for its main protagonist! He gets what he deserves the most: healing in a safe space full of love, understanding, and patience! We're shown how Mafuyu had grown throughout those years as he meets eye-to-eye the exact situation, but this time now fully equipped to face it!
Truly what we can learn is that bravery doesn't come without fear and anxiety but rather is the actions that we perform despite them. To not let the negative bundle inside take over one's urgency and do what matters, especially when concerning the people we love!
Finally able to finish this thread from October 10, 2022! Now complete with my full thoughts for the story~ Happy to have it archived here on tumblr <3
Love Waltz - English Translation
This chapter of Given can be read by purchasing the Hiiragi Mix dvd, please buy the DVD if you can. No images outside the cover page and pages that Kizu-sensei herself have posted. Full credits to @gentleharu for the english translations!
M, in front of gate: It's hard to get in...
A: Yo.
A: Welcome to our university.
M: Is it really okay to come in?
A: It's fine, it's fine. Let's take a walk.
A: The music department is a bit far, probably because of the noise. A: It's always so sudden with you, huh? It's hard to get a practice room this time of year.
A: Mafuyu?
A: Whoa, looks like you're having fun.
M: It's my first time seeing a university.
A: Yeah? I bet the vibe is different from high school.
A: There are a lot of information materials about events going on around here. Feel free to take any that catches your eye.
M: This poster… Kaji-san, will you be performing at a concert here on campus?
(A covers the poster)
M: Eh… w-why?
A: It's embarrassing… I'm just starting out…
M: So you do concerts at university? I didn't know there are such things…
M: Isn't it great thing to be chosen to perform?
A: …yeah.
M: I'll go with Uenoyama-kun and Haruki-san.
A (entering the music room): We're coming in…
A: I mean, why did you suddenly ask me to play an instrument?
M: Um…
A: Actually, why are you interested in classic music?
M: …
A, seeing Mafuyu struggle: Ah, you don't have to answer…
M: It's simply that… I like it…
A: Aah…
M: I wondered, since they don't have any lyrics, how they are able to match the emotion of a sad song or a love song.
A: Ah, it's difficult to explain. In the first place, I'm not the type of guy who'd go “me, me, me” and keep on applying my own feelings to things. You can be taught how to make the sounds, but it's up to each person how they will express themselves.
M, thinking: So that's how it is…
A, on the piano: Ah. It's been a while so I might be rusty…
M: Even if you make a mistake, I wouldn't know anyway.
A: That's true…
(Aki plays piano)
A, in Mafuyu's thoughts: ‘I can only play the piano a little bit’
M, to himself: —was what he said…
A: This is called Waltz No. 15. It's a piece of music but, when I play this piece, I remember staying up late with Haruki and wondering if we'd make it to school on time tomorrow. The glow of the TV light left on was beautiful… I am reminded of things like that.
(Akihiko continues to play.)
H: Ah! That's a relief, I'm glad you're still here.
H: EH!? What's this, Akihiko can even play piano!!?
A: W-Wha— don't just come barging in!
H: What the hell are you saying now? That aside, what can't you do!? M, thinking: O-Oh… my god
A, in background: I can't play wind instruments—
M: I just heard a confession of love.
H: Mafuyu? Why do you look so flushed?
M: ………..because Kaji-san’s piano playing was so incredible…
H: Because Kaji-san's piano playing was so incredible…!??
M: …I think I like classical music after all.
H: What!? What is going on here!??
M, thinking: I’m sure… I’m sure Haruki-san doesn't know about it.
(The last part is tricky to format, but basically Mafuyu's full thought was, "Oh... my God. I just heard a love confession. And I'm sure... I'm sure Haruki-san doesn't even know.")
Please follow Kizu-sensei her on Twitter @/ kizu_ntk for Given related posts and @/ sskz_gsr for doujins and other personal events! Umi E has been released in cinemas last month, DVD will be out soon. Along with Given Stage 2 coming out later next year <3
November 2024 Cheri+ cover features Given's handsome and stunning Ritsuka Uenoyama , for the first time!! The edition will feature Given 10th_mix's latest chapter; releasing this September 30th in local bookstores in japan and mail order websites!
Originally Posted on: 2020-10-30
TAG: Vanilla, Soft and Wholesome, Birthday Segs, Blow Jobs, Tipsy, Nervous, No Beta, Was my very first fic!
Summary: Ah.. yes.. this is how my life is right now. Just the two of us in Akihiko’s apartment, slightly drunk from having a few drinks. Sitting on the floor close to each other. My eyes closed as I feel his warm hand cupping my face, him wiping my tears with his thumb.
Oh, I love him so much. He brings me so much joy.
NOTE: And so Ive decided to post my fic here 😀 still not beta read but we di3 like men! This fic is also available on AO3~
“Haruki, can I hold your hand?” Akihiko says with a pout.
We’ve been dating for a few years now yet there are still times where he asks for my permission before touching me. I do think of it as cute; he still felt guilty and I’m not going to lie, it still makes my heart flutter remembering that all of the changes he did to himself was all for my sake.
I find it unbelievable- the day he blurted out his feelings. It feels like a dream yet I remember it vividly, infact playing it back in my head makes me experience the same feeling of ecstasy. Who would’ve thought a 2 year one-sided crush would turn out to be fruitful? Its been so long that all I can do now is laugh about it. Yes, even to memories I used to have felt a tremendous amount of pain reminiscing.
It makes me so happy that I cant help but think about how my heart could explode. How Aki could probably hear it during the calm nights we rest in each others arms. And, times like this one where I feel tears start running down my face.
“H-haruki, are you alright?”
Ah.. yes.. this is how my life is right now. Just the two of us in Akihiko’s apartment, slightly drunk from having a few drinks. Sitting on the floor close to each other. My eyes closed as I feel his warm hand cupping my face, him wiping my tears with his thumb.
Oh, I love him so much. He brings me so much joy.
I intertwined the same hand he had on my face with mine. Staring loving at his shimmering emerald eyes as I give his hand a peck. I couldnt help but crack a smile as I felt his hand tremble. “Aki” I called “You do know I don’t bite, right?”
He flinches a bit before covering his now lightly tinted red face with his other hand. Probably, no, definitely embarrassed about me figuring out how nervous he actually was.
“Pfft. Hey, Aki. You’re really red”
“Im drunk” turning redder than ever. So cute, makes me want to tease him more. “Aki” I leaned forward, resting my forehead on his “Akihiko~ hello~”
“..what?”
“Averting your gaze, huh? Hey, look at me”
He closed his eyes and sighed before locking into mine.
“Uwahh your eyes really are green and with little gold flakes too”
In my defense, its the alcohol talking. Giving me enough courage as well was knowing Aki’s the type to easily get flustered when drunk.
“You’re embarrassing” he replies, still locking his eyes with mine. I chuckled, letting go of his hand only to run both of mine from his chest, trailing to his shoulders, and finally tangling my fingers onto his golden locks. Does he know how much I crave for his warmth?
“I like this” Aki groans, with a shiver that made him close his eyes “I like how were close like this” wrapping his large hands around my waist, pulling me even closer until our lips were an inch away from each other.
“Your breath smells like alcohol” I laughed, breaking the intimacy. He then too started laughing, and with a tinge of annoyance, started tickling my sides. Before we knew it, we were a mess. Laying on the floor with me in his arms drenched a bit from the spilled alcohol.
“Sorry, I might have drank a little bit too much” I giggled while still try to catch my breath, wiping off the tear from my eye “I spoiled the mood!”
It’s not like I didn’t want things to go that way, I did prepare just incase, and it was getting late and he had work. It was unfortunate he couldn’t take a leave despite it being his birthday.
I laid on his arm the same way I did when we gazed at the night sky. I took a few deep breaths, taking in how enjoyable today was, at the same time accepting how this it was about to end.
“And.. you smell like home, Haruki” he says, breaking the silence, pulling me closer to his chest. His heart raced and, so did mine. Slowly our heart beats resonated, strong and loud as if theyre reaching out to each other.
And this. It was moments like this that for some reason, gravitates me strongly towards him. Moments that leave me speechless. His hand squeezing my waist while the other plays with my hair. I could feel his warm breath on my head as he tries to lose himself with my scent while still showering me endless kisses.
All this and I still yearn for more of him.
“Aki” I called in a raspy voice, moving in a direction that would let me be on top of him. ‘What is it that I want from you?’ I thought to myself as I inched forward towards his face. Raggedly breathing as I glide my tounge on his piercing, softly biting on to his lower lip and pulling backward.
Now that I think about it, we didn’t have a lot of moments like this. Where I had the courage to look at him with half lidded eyes filled with lust. I want him, I want him all for myself and I know that’s selfish but the way he firmly grasps my neck to pull me closer. Taking my lips into his to form a passionate kiss where our tounges yearn for each others warmth.
It feels so good.
It feels so good to be around him.
I want to be around him.
Him, leaving trails of kisses around my neck. I shut my eyes and shivered, losing the strength on my limbs as I felt the familiar bud of metal graze from the base of my neck to my ear.
“Can we?” He whispers
“Yea” I moaned “I prepared”
“Want to take this to bed?”
I bury my face into his chest and nodded in agreement. He lifts my chin, taking a good look at my flustered face before planting a kiss on my forehead
“Thank you”
He hoists me up, walks towards the bed, and gently places me down. I wrap my arms around his neck clingy on to him desperately. It wont hurt to be a little needy tonight.
“don’t go” attacking him with a kiss after another
“Im not going anywhere” he chuckles
“I love looking into your eyes so you better stay close”
“Hmm? I love looking into yours too” he sung “you’re so beautiful, Haruki”
I pulled him closer to me, gently crashing his lips to mine, starting the series of soft chaste kisses. Opening my mouth as his warm tounge grazes on my bottom lip. The bitterness of alcohol melts away from the sweetness of his kisses. And, for what seems like electricity, runs down my spine every time I feel his piercing making me moan in ecstasy. I can feel his free hand grope my chest, rolling his thumb on my nipple before sliding further downwards. Greeted with the sound of unzipping, he sucks on the bottom of my lip before withdrawing. My heart pounding and me beginning to work some sweat.
My breath hitched as I felt his warm tounge press on my nipple while his long slender fingers pinch and tug on the other. I ran my hands on his hair and pulled onto it as I got even more desperate for touch. My moans slowly increasing in volume and my hips start to jolt sporadically.
“Aki” I groaned, quickly reaching towards the attention deprived area inbetween my legs.
“Baby” he coos, catching my hand “Can I?”
“Yes, please”
He sits up, taking off his tank top. Sweat running down glistening, following the crevices of his toned abdomen. I reached my hand towards his chest, giving it a tight squeeze. “like what you see, haruki?” He teased
“I do” I say as my hands begin to tremble, gliding my thumb against the bud of his nipple. He cracks a smile, quickly hiding it behind a hand
“how could you say that with such an innocent face?”
At this point my head was getting fuzzy with the mixture of pleasure and alcohol. I started to feel like my body instinctively blocked all my senses just so I could concentrated on the chiseled shilouette. It reminded me of the first time I saw him up close. Im mesmerized.
My reminiscing cut short as he hoists my hips towards him.
“Hold on tight, Nakayama-senpai” he teases, licking his lips.
He leans towards my loins, looking up to me, making sure I take in the sight of him pampering my thighs with kisses and leaving the trail of hickies. I tremble in anticipation. Nothing to relieve is but heavy breathing and low groans.
Touch me please, Akihiko. I need you. I want to feel you.
And as if he read my mind, he softly blows a gush of wind making my toes curl from the long awaited contact. He starts from the very bottom. Sucking onto the nethers, not staying for long however, quickly moving towards the base. Fondling on the place he was before, he works his way up to the tip with lewd kisses and long licks. I could feel the blood rush to my head, I couldn’t help but feel a tinge of embarrassment. I wonder what he thinks of how I look right now?
My eyes roll back, I could feel his piercing encircling the head. Released a loud moan, him slowly taking in the length. Nuzzling his jaw onto it before starting to bob his head in a rhythmic pace. However, I could no longer take the slow build-up. I lather my hand with my own spit, slitering my way onto my behind. I moan in relief as I plunge into my own ass repeatedly.
“More” I whispered to myself “Please more” and without missing a beat I felt fuller. Inside me was two of his thick fingers and my own, both penetrating and moving in synchrony.
I cried for his name as he sucks and increases his speed in both above and below. I hold onto his tousled locks with my free hand, uncontrollably jerking forward with each hum he made, and loudly groaning as I hit the back of his throat.
Oh god, Im close, not yet!
“Aki, stop” I exclaimed, quickly pulling his hair upwards only for me to release from a look that screamed ecstasy- eyes lidded, furrowed brows, cheeks wet from tears, and now from my own liquids. He coughs lightly and clears his throat.
I pulled away, grabbed his face with both hands and crashed my lips onto his, losing each other in a sloppy kiss. Feeling his large hands on the back of my head, pushing me onto him deeper. Sucking onto my tounge before breaking the kiss. I push him down and straddle him. Licking off the trail I left on his face.
“Haruki” he groans “That kiss kinda hurt”
“Im sorry” I softly laughed, giving him a soft peck on the lips
“I don’t know if I could forgive you that easily, Haruki” he jokes, rummaging under the pillows, pulling out some lube and condoms.
“You really just stash them everywhere, don’t you?”
“You never know when you need it” ripping out the condom out the package and sliding it on his “Mr.I love car sex” he winks
“Oh god shut up” I exclaimed, playfully throwing a pillow towards his face as he laughs uncontrollably.
It was never easy getting it in no matter how much lube there was, especially with his girth. His hands resting on my hips to aid me. Throwing my head back as I felt him hit my favorite spot. Knowing that I like it, he pumps slowly.
Starting with soft moans and a slow pace. His warm hands rubbing the sides of my waist to trail down to my thighs. He stays still, looking at how we were connected while occasionally meeting gazes.
I close my eyes, feeling the immense pleasure surging through my body. I run my hands on his bare chest, teasingly flicking on his nipples and smiling at the sudden noises he’d make.
The pace begins to quicken. The sound of skin slapping, heavy breathing, and sounds of pleasure filled the room. My hips moving on my own as he thrusts into me. I slide my hands forward, now grabbing firmly onto his shoulders, managing to call out his name inbetween breaths as a gesture of asking for consent.
He holds onto my hips firmly and with a nod, began to slam into me with enough force. Making me start digging my nails onto his shoulders, definitely breaking his skin. He moans my name in pleasure, sitting upwards and encases me in a tight embrace.
He continues to move. My eyes flutter as I clung onto his neck as if hanging for dear life. I nuzzle my onto his, whispering words of praise before inititating a tender kiss. He lays be down gently. Tounges dancing with each other.
He holds onto my legs and spreads it wide open. He continues to pound me but now in a faster pace. Feeling a tinge of embarrassment as I felt my own slapping hard against my abdomen, as well as a tight knot building at every thrust.
“Im close” I exclaimed, followed by a long throaty moan and sporadic movements.
He leans forward, securing my hands above my head. I continue to jerk as he thrusts into me harder and faster. My voice becoming shaky but louder out of desperation.
“Help me” I called out for him “I want to cum”.
My eyes rolling towards the back of my head as I feel him once again pound repeatedly on my favorite spot. I could feel one of his hands run down to mine, pumping in synchrony with his thrusts. My vision begins to blur, I could no longer differentiate the feeling on my front from my back. He moves faster, both in hands and below. And finally, with a loud moan and strong jolt upwards, I released.
Akihiko’s moan as I clenched onto him was like music to my ears. I tremble and held my position for a few seconds before settling back to the bed. I felt warm inside, finding the whole situation a bit funny.
My eyes being closed for quite some time, where the only things I could hear was the sound of mine and his breath. That was amazing.
A little time has passed and were both feeling refreshed, sharing a single pair of pajamas.
“Aki, you can be more selfish, you know?”
“Arent I being selfish enough?”
I shake my head “You can want me more”
He shuffles himself closer to me, nuzzling himself on the crook of my neck
“Want me more, Akihiko” I whisper, gently caressing his head
He grunts, pulling me in even closer
I giggled, such a big baby
“It’s your birthday and yet you still go out of your way to make me feel the happiest, thank you” I hold him tightly. My eyes getting heavier and heavier.
“Its because I love you”
I smiled
“I love you too”
“Together, tomorrow’s will always be good” I mumbled to myself, listening to soft snores as I too drift to sleep.
-
“We should drink more” Aki said, moving breakfast to the table
“Were honest when drunk”
“What kind of post-sex thoughts are you having?” I laughed
“Ones with you in them” he chuckles, kissing the top of my head
“idiot” I blushed, hiding behind the cup of coffee
After the successful screening of Movie Given Hiragi Mix, the release of its DVD last August 28, and the warm audience that greeted the premiere of Movie Given to The Sea, a continuation of Given Stage play will be released this MAY 2025; which will feature the same cast! the stage play will comprise of events occurring from Volume 6 to 9 of the manga
Previous stage play is purchasable by pressing on this link: shop-ep.net/trifle_stage/ , and typing "ギヴン" on the search bar! The previous play comprises of the events from Volumes 1 to 5
A bunch of events are in line for September to February of next year! If you want to check it out, visit the Unofficial Given Calendar I made for funsies~
૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა if you are not tagged but want to join, please feel free to reblog this post with your results and favourite character, I'd love to see it!!
Thank you for the tag! Is it blue for his eyes? 🤭 Oh also, there are personality descriptions on there, too.
Prussian Blue. A sensitive person who is moved deeply even though it doesn't show on their face. Mysterious, cool, cheerful.
Tagging (if you feel like it!): @tamilhobbit @windrelyn @melpomaen @seaofolives @ginwilliamsart @sillyfanturtle @redoftheturks @mae-it-be-an-evening-dhros @oasisdew and anyone else who see this and wants to go for it!
I got tagged! Thankie @sillyfanturtle~
Chitose tea teacher 🍵
Characteristics: Excellent person who can deal with any problem
Color words: neutrality, impartiality, unbiasedness, balance
It was pmuch accurate until the color words part, hes the least unbiased and neutral character I know 😭 I'd say he fits the color scheme though I give him that! Looks like a part of his palette 😌
Tagging: @oasisdew (again :<) and anyone else who wants to join!
