My thing w people who hate robby for pushing samira to be faster specifically is we see exactly why he does. They cant afford to take time bc their waiting room is always packed and there are constantly patients waiting in the halls bc there arent enough beds. Of course taking time like samira does is the ideal, but they just cant do it, and thats what frustrated robby. Hes getting constant push to up patient satisfaction scores by Gloria, but he can’t do that when wait times are so long bc of understaffing. And they’re threatening him about it in that corporate way. Gloria tells him maybe he should have a break after he pushes back about the ER being absorbed into a corporation that will just make things worse for his people.
Ughhhh this is so common sense and i feel silly posting this bc it is common sense, but so many people are just ignorant to it
they had an overflowing waiting room with dying people and mohan was busy learning a patients entire life story. you can connect with patients and hear out their concerns while also keeping them on the important subject— why they’re visiting the ER.
people get mad when you say that Mohan wasn’t cut out for the ER but it’s true. Not because she isn’t a good doctor but because she wants to connect with people!! something that is incredibly important in fields like primary care/family medicine/geriatrics/etc.
demanded credible proof that isn't from reddit or twitter from an anonymous source or a fake name or simply telling me to 'google it' against the antisemitic allegations against noah on tiktok and got left on read...
Omega Robby on suppressants. Omega Robby who has been on suppressants for years. Knowing the risk they pose but ignoring them, figuring it’s for the best. He prioritizes his career, figuring there’s always time for family when the load lightens. Tries to ignore that the load only gets heavier by the day.
He’s not ashamed of being an omega, hell, he mentions it to omega patients frequently to try and put them at ease around him. It isn’t until he’s treating a patient, an omega woman who is a little older than him, who mentions she used suppressants for several years, that he makes a connection about himself.
He’s telling her about the risks of long term use, especially around their age, that it can have interactions causing increased mood swings, changes in appetite, depression, random pain, and he just trails off.
He shakes it off and finishes treating her, but the whole time, his mind is elsewhere.
He goes into the bathroom after asking Princess to gather discharge papers and stares into the mirror. He touches his lower belly, frowning at his reflection. He’s not pregnant, knows he isn’t. He hasn’t had a heat for the better part of 20 years, he and Jack have barely had the energy for anything more than sleepy grinding in the last… well. He’s embarrassed to even think about how long it’s been.
He can’t be perimenopausal.
It lines up with everything, the worsening spirals, the spotting, constantly pulling on and taking off his hoodies, insomnia, everything. It all lines up.
But he and Jack were supposed to have pups.
They’d talked about it, planned for it. They’d just always assumed there’d be time. And sure, Robby knew he over relied on the suppressants. But this was something else.
How was he supposed to tell his mate that they couldn’t anymore? Sure, there was time, technically, if he was right. But by the time he weaned off suppressants, who knew? Time was ticking and it had been for months, maybe even years. And he hadn’t fucking noticed.
He pressed his hand firmer against his belly and huffed. There was a laundry list of things that made him a bad partner. He was a workaholic, he rarely if ever cooked, he fell asleep during movies, he hated doing laundry and dishes. But he thought there was one thing, one thing that he could give Jack someday.
His eyes welled up with tears, but before any could spill over, there was a knock on the door. “Cap, you in there? Trauma incoming, need your hands in two minutes!”
“Be out in a second.” Robby scrubbed his eyes with his sleeves and blew out a breath.
Okay.
He’d just stop taking the suppressants. Cold turkey. Get knotted as much as he could. Get pregnant before it was too late.
And never. Ever. Admit to what he was doing. It was going to be fine.
Jack abbot: actually very respectful of being Robby’s gay awakening. Very pleased and gentle with him, a little nervous of spooking him, absolutely enamoured and honoured to be his first time with a man.
Robby ‘I turned jack abbot gay’ Robinavitch: the smuggest man on planet EARTH. Needs everyone to know. Might even take out billboards actually. Horny.
Hi loves! this got a little longer than anticipated so next chapter will be the calico critters! hope you all enjoy! <3
7.6k words
ao3 previous next
It was starting to become spring, the snow finally starting to melt, and the sun was out longer than it had been in the past few months.
Just like every recent year around this time, Dana’s granddaughter had her birthday; she was turning three.
The married couple had known Dana since med school and had seen her children grow up over the past few decades, now experiencing the same but with her grandkids.
The bright pastel sign was not an easy one to miss; you could see it just from down the block. Jack drove their SUV down the road, finding a parking spot close enough to the storefront.
Their hands held together on top of the gear shift as Jack drove. He rubbed soft circles on Robby’s skin, the silence filled with the sound of the radio.
The street was fairly bare for a weekday, both men having the next few days off. Jack quickly parked the car, looking over at his husband to see how he was doing.
With the time he had been informed about little Robby’s existence, Jack had been able to pick up on signs before his actual regression started. He had to manage this way because Robby still struggles to tell him when he feels small.
He knows Robby is close to his regression. That morning while getting ready, his baby was zoning out, having trouble finding words, and taking ages to reply to any questions. His eyes were slowly getting wider, but he was mostly just quiet.
“Babe? You coming?” Jack said from outside of the car, noticing how Robby hadn’t realized they had made it to the store.
“Oh, shit, sorry.” Robby quickly came to, unbuckling himself and getting out of the car.
Jack held out his hand for Robby to grab, feeling him cling onto him almost instantly. Jack knew Robby was barely hanging on, his regression almost present.
He learned that when Robby was in between headspaces, he preferred to be spoken to like usual, especially when they were in public.
“You ok?” Jack asked as they walked towards the entrance.
Robby’s gaze was avoiding his, glancing around, checking their surroundings, his anxiety creeping in. “I’m ok,” he breathed. Jack squeezed his hand as he reached for the door.
-
Robby looked around the store with Jack, holding his hand tightly. He saw all the toys, the plushies, the blankets, the clothes, his little self so excited, wanting it for himself.
He would never ask for anything; he could only wish for them.
There were a few different animal sets; those caught his eye. They were cute and small; Robby really liked them. He saw a giraffe family, a reindeer one, a cat one, a seal, a kitty; the list goes on.
Jack watched him stare at the calico critters, how his one free hand went to go and touch one before hesitating and pulling back.
They were there to get Dana’s granddaughter a present. But his baby boy was looking at toys that he liked.
Jack knew he was going to buy them the second Robby looked at them. He’ll be able to secretly buy them if Robby regresses. Robby isn’t very aware when he is small; he doesn’t assume things are for him, always thinking about other people.
This is the second time he was on the verge of being small in public; this time it was a lot less scary. His daddy was holding his hand; he was able to hide himself behind him. And he didn’t know anyone else there, feeling safer than he did last time.
“Come, baby, let’s pick something out for little Jenny.” Jack grabbed Robby’s attention.
“S-sorry,” he mumbled quietly. “None of that, baby, come.” Jack kissed Robby’s cheek, guiding him around the store.
It was nice and quiet in there; only a couple other people were in the store. It was so cozy in the store, a childlike softness.
“Mike, did you have any ideas what we should get Jenny?” Jack asked, walking down the aisle.
Robby took a few seconds to understand the question, thinking for a minute before replying to his daddy. “D-did Dana tell you what Jenny liked? Maybe a new doll? Maybe those u-um l-little animals? Are those too small for her?” Robby stumbled over his words, barely hanging on to his normal headspace.
“Dana said she likes basically anything. Maybe we get her that flower tea set? It has a bunch of big pieces, she won’t choke on them. I think she’d like that; it’s pretty and pink, and she can use it with her other toys,” Jack suggested.
He watched Robby fiddle with the end of his sweater, biting his lip. He could tell Robby just needed one more push, one more soft encouragement for him to let go.
“Does that sound ok, Mikey? Did you want to pick something out too for her?”
“Y-yeah,” Robby mumbled softly, his soft grip tightening in his daddy’s hold.
“Ok, baby. Let’s go get the tea set, and if you see anything you think she might like, you can point it out.”
Robby stayed close to Jack, practically walking against him. Jack was used to this; Robby was always like this at home, always wanting to be attached to his daddy.
He had been trying to work up the courage to ask his daddy to cuddle or give him hugs, still too anxious to ask for that, feeling like it was too much to ask for.
They passed by the calico critters again; Robby’s wide eyes lingered on them. Jack could tell how badly his boy wanted them; it was sweet, and Jack knew Robby would be overjoyed to have them.
Robby followed his daddy around the store, not paying attention to anything around him. Totally clueless as to what his daddy was doing for him.
Jack brought Robby up to the register, holding his hand. Robby stood behind Jack, listening to him talk to the worker.
“Mikey, why don’t you go wait in the car for me?” Jack suggested. He didn’t want to send Robby outside, but it was easier if he did.
Jack watched closely as Robby got into their vehicle, seeing as they were parked right in front of the big window.
“I’m just going to go and grab a couple more things,” Jack told the worker.
She nodded and smiled, moving the tea set to the side.
Jack made his way back to the calico critters, picking out a couple different families, a house and some matching furniture and decor.
His arms were full of the toys, smiling softly knowing Robby would be delighted. He’d have to wait until Robby was very small, knowing if he stayed in an older headspace he would freak out.
Jack paid for everything quickly, the lady providing reusable bags for him. He quickly made his way out and headed to their SUV.
Jack got the trunk open, putting everything inside, before closing it and heading to the driver's side.
“Sorry, baby, I’m back now,” Jack smiled as he buckled up. “It’s ok, Jack. We just have to pick up a gift bag and card?” Robby asked, glancing over at Jack.
“Yeah, then we can head to the party. We are making good time.” Jack could tell that Robby pulled back from his regression; he wasn’t nearing like he was before.
Jack felt a little ping in his chest; he knew Robby felt guilty and didn’t allow himself to relax. He probably thought Jack was embarrassed, and that’s why he sent him to the car.
-
“Do you know who is all going this year?” Robby asked. He had pulled himself as far as he could from the fuzzy feeling, needing to be present at the party.
“I think it’s the same as usual? Dana didn’t really say,” Jack was driving down a dirt road, leading to Dana’s daughter’s house.
“I think it’s just a bunch of moms and their kids. All I know was that it was fairy themed.” Jack continued.
Robby felt a lot more level-headed than the morning, his worries of fully regressing in front of others slowly leaving. “I figured. Should be fun,” Robby chuckled.
“Dana mentioned that they ordered a bunch of food for everyone. Hopefully she didn’t go too crazy,” Robby commented.
“I guess we will find out, Mike,” Jack chuckled. The driveway was littered with cars, even down on the outside of the city; their long driveway was full.
Jack parked the car on the side of the road, not even attempting to see if the driveway had any room that he could wiggle into.
Robby was holding the bag with the present and card, waiting for Jack to walk around to the side, wanting to walk together.
“Well, this is definitely more people than the last one,” Jack chuckled.
They walked up the long driveway hand in hand. Robby worried the incline would hurt Jack, with his prosthesis not being the one meant for this type of terrain.
“Is the hill bugging you at all?” Robby asked, watching as Jack limped a little.
“I’m fine, just a little steep. I’ll just have to sit for a little,” Jack smiled, squeezing Robby’s hand.
They could hear the party from outside; they must have done it in the backyard since the weather had been nice.
Jack could see Robby tense at the noise; he was a little worried that little Robby would make an appearance. He knew if Dana somehow found out, she’d keep quiet and would not comment on the matter, especially if Jack spoke to her about it.
“Can you let me know if it gets too much? You were almost there earlier; it’s ok if it happens,” Jack hesitated to ask; he didn’t want to make Robby feel bad. He knows how big of a struggle it is for him.
Robby nodded, embarrassment flooding through him. He hated talking about his headspace when he wasn’t small or nearing it. It felt like a humiliation ritual.
Jack pulled Robby close to him, kissing him softly, letting him know that he was there for him, that he loved him very much.
As they approached the house, they saw Dana waving from the front door. “Hey boys!” She yelled.
“Hey, Dana!” Jack said, smiling, as they approached the front steps.
“Come in; the kids are out back playing! But the party is being held inside,” Dana said. She grabbed the present from Robby, helping him free his hand.
“Glad you guys could make it. You should see how cute all the little kids are; everyone is dressed up,” Dana said, chuckling.
She led them inside, showing them where to put their shoes and jackets. Robby put on a brave face, trying to act as if he wasn’t anxious. He could feel his stomach churning as they approached the rather large crowd.
It was mostly filled with Dana’s immediate family and a few young moms.
Jack had his hand on Robby’s back, guiding him to the open seats. “We are still waiting on 5 more kids, so lunch won’t be much longer,” Dana announced.
Robby sat on the couch leaning on the armrest; Jack sat right beside him, hand instantly going to Robby’s knee.
Robby gently picked up Jack’s hand, wanting to hold his hand instead.
Dana had let them know her husband and her daughter’s husband were out picking up the food, leaving Jack and Robby being the only men in the living room.
“So, how do you guys know Amelia?” One of the ladies asked them.
“We work with Dana, so we’ve known Amelia since she was a baby,” Jack smiled.
“I’m Jack, and this is my Husband, Michael, but everyone calls him Robby,” he continued. Robby offered a gentle hi, looking around the room to see at least 7 moms around Amelia’s age.
“Are you guys nurses too? Or doctors?” Clara asked.
“Doctors,” Jack replied for them.
The conversations kept flowing; Robby stayed quiet, letting his husband do all the talking. Robby was exhausted from the mental battle of staying big; you could just tell he was tired, so no one commented on his quietness.
Robby was leaning against Jack, snuggling up to him absentmindedly. Jack thought it was cute, but it was a telltale sign Robby was nearing his regression because he normally isn’t this touchy in public.
“You ok?” Jack whispered. He pressed a soft kiss on Robby’s forehead, gently rubbing his shoulder.
“Mhm, yeah. Shit s-sorry,” Robby mumbled, quickly realizing what he was doing.
“You’re good, you can stay like this,” Jack said softly, comforting Robby.
Robby’s cheeks were flushed, and his eyes were wide; Jack knew he was close to regressing. He looked so soft and sweet in his hold.
“You’re tired, aren’t you?” Jack teased softly.
Robby was exhausted, barely sleeping the last few days and now having to try to stay big in front of all these people. It was going to be even harder for him once the little kids came back inside.
~
Robby’s shoulders tensed the second all the kids came inside there was about 11 little 2-4 year olds running around in the living room.
It wasn’t the noise that made him anxious; it was the burning jealousy inside him that did. The last few times he has regressed, he has woken up to nightmares about pieces of his childhood. He hasn’t told Jack; he doesn’t know how to when he is so small. He doesn’t know how to tell his daddy that he remembers how he was always screamed at and was always in trouble, even when he had no idea what was going on.
He is jealous of actual little babies, seeing them have fun. Seeing them enjoy their childhood, being carefree and loving. He is envious; he wishes he could have had that. Maybe he wouldn’t be so fucked up.
He is so happy that these babies won’t be put through what he had gone through. He would never want anyone to go through his childhood; he can barely remember most of it.
“Ok, everyone! The food is here! Come get some!” Dana announced loudly.
Most of the group started to stand up. “I’ll grab us some food,” Jack smiled.
“Thank you,” Robby whispered. He watched his daddy leave the room with the others. He felt so out of place sitting on the couch; he watched the others move around, his anxiety picking up.
He wasn’t small yet, but it was there; the fuzzy feeling was in reach. He fiddled with the ends of his sweater as he waited for Jack to come back with their food.
Robby hid it well; no one would be able to tell the emotional toll he was facing. He knew how to hide his self-regulating behaviour, only Jack being able to tell.
His daddy came back with their food; he gave him a soft smile.
“Here, babe.” Jack placed the plate on Robby’s lap.
“Thank you,” Robby replied quietly.
Everyone was chatting as they ate, Robby staying quiet, not adding to the conversations. He could feel a few pairs of eyes on him; it felt like they were burrowing holes into him.
He didn’t think he did anything wrong; he had been good. Right?
He hadn’t even touched his food, feeling so anxious. He felt so uncomfortable being their fixated point. He could feel the tears start to well up; he knew little him finally came through.
“I’m just going to excuse myself; I’ll be back,” Robby said, picking up his plate to stand up and gently placing it back down.
He headed to the bathroom, knowing the layout of the home already. He closed the door softly behind him, letting out a shaky breath.
He sat on the side of the tub, trying to regain his composure. He didn’t like what just happened; he didn’t like the daunting stares, the hushed whispers. He didn’t like not knowing what he did wrong.
He’s been polite, quiet, and never speaking unless spoken to first. Did he break some rule he wasn’t aware of? Wouldn’t his daddy tell him that?
He couldn’t cry here; he could cry and worry about this later. It was sweet little Jenny’s birthday, and he wasn’t going to spoil her big day.
He quickly stood up and quietly left the bathroom.
His steps were quiet and soft; no one could hear him approaching. He had to go down the hall that reached the kitchen.
He could hear a few people talking, not paying much mind until his name was said.
“Amelia, I don’t understand how that Robby guy is not embarrassed.” He heard Clara say.
“He is so reliant on his husband. Does he not feel bad? Shouldn’t he be the one getting up and helping? His husband is literally missing a leg.” He heard her continue.
“Clara, they’ve been married for years. They know each other. Jack likes to keep himself busy and useful, as he says it.” Amelia said. Robby could hear her sigh loudly afterward.
“So? He seems to think he is better than everyone else. He hasn’t spoken a word to anyone since he got here. He just looks around and watches everyone. It’s fucking weird,” Clara scoffed.
Is that what they all thought of him? That he was a stuck-up man who uses his husband’s kindness to his advantage.
“Oh come on, Clara. He isn’t like that. He isn’t much of a talker.” Amelia defended him.
If only they knew.
If only they knew that he had a headspace of a toddler weighing over him. That he just wanted to be good and not disturb the party.
“I feel bad for Jack; he seems so nice, and he is stuck with Robby for a husband.” Clara sighed.
“He is a nice guy, so is Robby,” Amelia added.
This one hurt the most; hearing someone else say something you’ve always thought really stings.
Robby is well aware that Jack has probably had enough with him. It’s one of his biggest fears: that Jack has had enough and decides to leave him.
He didn’t want to go back out there. He quietly inched towards the bathroom again.
He locked the door behind him, keeping the lights off. Just quietly sat on the tub, reflecting on what he just heard.
He couldn’t help it this time; he couldn’t hold back his tears. They just fell, a continuous stream of tears.
He held his hand to his mouth, muffling his sobs, trying to stay as quiet as he could.
He just wanted to go home with his daddy. It was easier when it was just them alone at home. His daddy always made him feel better.
Robby didn’t know how much time had passed, feeling himself grow smaller and smaller, giving in to the fuzzy feeling.
He felt so small and helpless in the bathroom. He was so scared and alone, wanting to go and find his daddy. But that meant he’d have to go and face everyone.
He heard a soft knock on the door. “Mikey?” Robby heard his daddy’s voice.
“Can you unlock the door? It’s just me, no one else.” Jack's voice was soft and full of concern.
Robby stood up and unlocked the door with shaky hands. He took a few steps back, sitting on the side of the tub.
His daddy opened the door slowly, closing the door softly behind him. He saw Robby crying softly on the edge of the tub, seeing him shaking through each sob.
“Oh, baby boy. What happened?” Jack slowly walked towards Robby, sitting beside him.
He was too small to tell his daddy what happened. He still felt the shame and embarrassment of hearing them talk about him.
“Sweet boy. It’s ok, it’s ok. Daddy is here,” Jack pulled Robby close to him and held him.
Jack rocked him back and forth, pressing soft kisses to his face. He waited patiently for his boy to calm down.
He knew something must have happened.
“Baby, we have to go back out there. Everyone is still eating, and then it’s cake and presents. We can leave right after that. I know you are ready to head home, I know. Just a little longer,” Jack told him once he stopped crying.
Robby would never tell his daddy no; he just couldn’t do that.
So he let his daddy help fix him up, getting a cloth and washing his face. It was nice and cold against his skin, relieving the puffiness from his sobs.
“Ok, sweet boy. Let’s go back out there and finish up.”
~
The second Robby sat down on the couch, he felt eyes on him. He held his plate in his hand; with shaky hands, he lifted the fruit to his mouth.
Jack had grabbed him strawberries, apples and pears; there was also a sandwich on his plate.
He ate carefully and slowly, trying his best to not make a mess.
He heard someone scoff as they walked past him, feeling tears well up in his eyes again. He blinked them away as fast as he could; he could not draw attention to himself.
He finished his food, standing up to bring the paper plate to the kitchen.
He walked carefully to the kitchen, coming face to face with a few of the moms.
The room went quiet, and they all looked at him. Not saying anything, just staring.
“Excuse me, I just have to throw this out,” Robby mustered the courage to speak, needing to explain the reason he was in the room.
“Oh, so he does talk,” one lady said. Robby couldn’t remember her name.
The ladies all laughed at her comment. Robby’s anxiety spiked at that, feeling his cheeks grow pink and his hands start to shake.
“Um- I am just not much of a talker. B-but my husband is,” Robby added, wanting to defend himself.
The ladies moved out of the way, letting him access the garbage.
“Finally doing something for yourself, I can see,” Clara mumbled.
Robby quickly left after that comment. If he had been big, the comment wouldn’t have any effect on him. But he wasn’t; he was small, and he was already ashamed of himself without the comments.
He knows his daddy does so much for him; he knows he is too reliant on his daddy, he knows.
He loves his daddy so much; he would do anything for his daddy.
That’s why he hasn’t told him what he heard.
Robby was even more reserved the rest of the party; he didn’t really look at anyone, just his gaze fixed on his daddy’s hand in his.
He wanted nothing more than to go home. He wanted to have a bath with his daddy and take a nap after.
He wanted the comfort of their own home; he craved the safety and security it brought him. A new development had occurred.
“We are almost done, peanut. I know you’re tired, baby.” Jack whispered, only loud enough for Robby to hear.
All the kids gathered around to watch the birthday girl blow out her candles.
Robby and his daddy stayed off to the side. He held his daddy’s hand and stood behind him.
He watched with wide, curious eyes, not making a sound. He listened to everyone else sing, not daring to participate, not wanting anyone to hear a possible slip-up.
The lights were dim, and he was in the very back of the crowd; he thought he was hidden, but he wasn’t.
He didn’t notice the three women from before glaring at him, too lost in watching the flame of the candle.
He didn’t see them whispering about him, rolling their eyes at him. Jack noticed; he always sees things.
He clued in to the assumption that they were the reason he found Robby crying in the bathroom. He wasn’t stupid; he’d seen the ladies staring at Robby from the second they showed up.
Jack watched them; they were smart to block their mouths. He didn’t like people speaking poorly of Robby without even knowing him. His husband had been nothing but polite and quiet the entire day.
He brought Robby’s hand up to his mouth, placing a soft kiss on his skin. His sweet boy smiled at him, stepping closer to him.
He watched the women scoff at his display of affection, rolling their eyes at Robby once again.
Words of others never really affected Michael, not usually, but when he was small, that’s a whole other story.
His sweet peanut is so sensitive; anything can set him off, especially if he is already having a hard time.
“Ok, everyone! Come grab a slice of cake!” Dana yelled, grabbing everyone’s attention.
“Do you want a slice?” Jack asked. Robby shook his head. His tummy was upset, his anxiety was through the roof and the thought of having food made his stomach rumble.
“That’s ok, baby. Let’s go sit down. We can head out soon. Just presents left,” Jack whispered, kissing Robby’s forehead.
“No cake for you guys?” Benji asked. He was handing out the cake to everyone as they were passing.
“No, thank you though. It looks good, but my stomach won’t be happy,” Jack chuckled, patting the man’s back.
They sat down off to the side, holding each other's hands. Robby twirled his sleeve in his free hand.
Jack could see Robby’s eyes grow bigger, and his features grow softer. His baby was getting smaller as the party went on. Jack was so excited to give his baby the new toys; he knew Robby would be extra small when they got home.
He’s been slowly getting smaller as time passes when he is in the headspace. Jack has been slowly helping Robby feel less guilty about his regression, urging him to play openly with the very few toys he had.
He couldn’t wait to get his boy home, into some warm and comfy clothes. Running a warm bubble bath, washing him with the baby soap, pressing kisses to his warm cheeks.
Helping him out of the tub, drying him off, pampering him with kisses. Laying him on the bed, rubbing cream into his skin, wiping away his tears when he slips a diaper up his legs.
Jack couldn’t wait.
Jenny’s sweet little voice broke his train of thought. “Thank you, Jackie and Robby,” she giggled, running over and giving them both a hug.
“You’re very welcome, sweetheart,” Jack smiled at her. The sweet toddler ran over to the rest of her presents after giving her appreciation.
Jack saw the way the ladies rolled their eyes at Robby’s quietness once again, worried a confrontation may spark between them all.
He excused himself once all the presents and pictures were done, heading towards Dana. Asking to speak with her in a different room. He reassured Robby that he would be right back, not needing to worry.
Dana led them to another room, away from the group.
“We are going to head out in a couple of minutes, but I had something I wanted to talk to you about first,” Jack started.
Dana’s features grew concerned, nodding her head.
“Robby has just been having a bit of a hard time lately. He has no idea I’m saying this to you, but a couple of the moms here are not being too kind,” he rubbed the back of his neck.
“Shit- I wasn’t sure if I was reading into it, but I noticed it too. It’s Clara and her two friends?” Dana sighed.
“These things don’t normally upset him, but he saw and heard them speak ill about him. I just wanted to let you know why we were leaving early,” Jack sighed. He felt bad having to tell Dana this on her granddaughter’s birthday.
“Uh yeah- I’ll chat with Amelia later and see if she knows why those three moms are giving us a hard time. All I know is that those three all have really shitty husbands,” Dana rubbed Jack’s arm, offering him a gentle jester.
“I don’t want to make it a problem; I'd rather not have people assume shit about my husband. I would share more, but Robby would be upset if I did. We will slip out in a few minutes. I hope the rest of the party runs smoothly.” Jack kissed her cheek, pulling away.
As Jack and Dana walked back to the room of people. Jack spotted Robby on the verge of tears and Clara smirking with her friends.
Dana and Jack both exchanged looks, tending to the two.
Jack motioned for Robby to come and see him. The boy stood up and walked quickly out of the room. They slipped out of the home and headed for their vehicle.
Robby held it together the best he could, letting a couple of tears fall as they walked hand in hand down to the car.
They walked in silence, the only noise coming from the birds chirping and the wind blowing.
Robby heard his daddy sigh as they made it to the car, all his restraint gone as they both entered the car.
His soft sobs filled the silence, heart-wrenching, as he gripped his pants.
“I know, baby. We are heading home now. You were so good all afternoon; you did nothing bad,” Jack hushed, leaving over the centre console, kissing Robby’s cheek, holding his hand.
~
Jack did exactly as he planned; he got sweet Robby in the bath quickly, picking out warm and comfy clothes, sneaking a diaper into the pile.
He tried his best to calm his baby down; tears never stopped falling down.
They just worsened as he pampered him, soft apologies being muttered after every sob.
Jack felt so bad; he had no idea what the ladies actually said to Robby. He could only assume that it really wasn’t kind.
Getting Robby into the diaper was a struggle. Robby scooted away from Jack multiple times, begging not to wear it. Jack couldn’t say no; he knew an accident would come soon enough and Robby would have an even bigger breakdown.
He eased Robby into the diaper, kissing his face and giving him reassurance. He had even given Robby his plushies right after the bath, hoping it would bring security and less anxiety.
As Jack finished getting him dressed and diapered, he played with the thought of giving Robby the pacifier. “Peanut, are we ready for nap-time?” Jack chuckled; Robby’s eyes were drooping.
His baby held his plushies against his chest, waiting for him to sit him up. “Let’s get you under the covers. All nice and warm, and cozy,” Jack cooed.
Jack watched as Robby’s fingers inched towards his lips, picking up the signs of a smaller Robby. He was delighted to know that Robby was small enough that he would be able to ease the pacifier in with less of a fight.
He had it hidden in his bedside table, pulling it out and tucking Robby into bed. He gently moved Robby’s fingers away from his mouth, replacing it with the foreign object.
“Here, let’s not put our yucky fingers in our mouths.” Robby was too tired to fight back, just taking whatever his daddy gave him.
He sighed softly as he sucked on the paci, feeling his daddy gently rub his cheek, bringing him to sleep.
Jack quietly slipped out of the room, keeping the door open just a little bit.
Jack had time to bring the toys inside, carefully setting them down on the carpeted living room floor.
He opened each box, taking the animals and accessories out of the boxes. He broke up the boxes, putting all the garbage to the side.
It was so cute, all the animal families, the house decor and all the accessories for the home. Jack knew Robby would love it. He hoped that Robby would allow himself to play with them without the shame.
A quiet knock at the front door pulled Jack away from his task, unsure who it could be.
He opened the door to Dana. “Hey! Didn’t know you would be stopping by,” Jack smiled, opening the door for her to come in.
“I did send you a message, but you didn’t answer,” she said, removing her outerwear.
“Ah fuck, I probably left my phone in the car,” Jack chuckled.
He totally forgot what was in his living room, all the kiddie toys sprawled out all over the floor.
“Jack, why do you have a bunch of kid toys on the floor?” Dana asked as he walked into the room.
“Oh, it’s nothing,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “What’s with the visit? Did you miss me already?” Jack joked, deflecting her question.
“Jack, what is going on here? Are you and Robby fostering?” She questioned, eyeing him up and down, sensing his nervousness.
“No, no, it’s just- fuck. It’s nothing like that,” Jack sighed. He didn’t want to air out Robby's secret. He didn’t think Robby would be able to handle another person knowing.
Robby can barely accept knowing he needs help when he is small, and they’ve just started to make small improvements.
“Can we just avoid that, please?” Jack basically begged.
Dana shook her head, sighing. She was a little concerned about what she had found, but she could tell Jack really didn’t want to talk about it.
“Ok, ok.” She said as she sat down on the couch.
“Can I get you anything to drink?” Jack said as he bent down to clean up the garbage and toys.
“I’m ok, thank you. I came here to talk to you about earlier,” she started, patting the seat next to her for Jack to join.
Dana explained to Jack that Clara was jealous of how attentive Jack was to Robby. She hated that Robby just sat there and rubbed it into her face.
Jack thought it was funny because if they knew Robby, they’d know how far he had come with his acceptance. How before Robby would never let Jack help him, always doing everything for everyone else and never letting the same be done in return.
“I feel bad for the lady, Jack. Her husband doesn’t help her with shit.” Dana sighed. Jack had brought them both some coffee as the conversation carried on.
“Is Robby still sleeping?” Dana asked. She had been over for almost an hour, and there had been so few signs of him.
“Yeah, he was tired. He was falling asleep on the drive home.” Jack replied. He should probably go and check on Robby soon, seeing that he had been asleep for almost two hours.
“I’ll go check on him in a few minutes,” Jack chuckled.
As if on cue, Robby’s soft voice broke through, “Daddy?”
“Did Robby just call you daddy?” Dana was so confused. The voice she heard was not the usual one of Robby.
“Dana, please just-“ Jack started, not being able to continue since Robby walked into view.
A soft gasp escaped Robby’s mouth; sobs erupted quickly as his brain registered his friend on the couch.
Robby ran out of the room so fast, running to hide in their bedroom.
They sat frozen on the couch, Dana stunned but not disgusted.
“I’ll be right back, just don’t leave,” Jack hurried off the couch, dashing down the hall to go and help Robby.
He could hear Robby’s soft sobs coming from behind the closed door. He knocked on the door, hearing his baby trying to muffle his sobs. “Robby baby? It’s just me. I’m going to come in.”
Jack entered the room, finding his sweet boy crying on their bed. Robby looked so heartbroken; his best-kept secret was let out to another person once again. This time it wasn’t someone he trusted the most but a close friend. This time he wasn’t sure if he would be able to keep this person in his life now.
“Baby boy, it’s just daddy. Everything is ok, my love.” Jack sat beside his boy on the bed, inching his hand towards his thigh.
“Daddy, she hates me now,” Robby sobbed. He was heartbroken and distraught; shame and embarrassment took over. This was never meant to ever get out; he wasn’t supposed to let anyone know. Now two people know his secret; now more people know how pathetic he was.
“No baby, no. She won’t hate you; she is just a little confused right now. We don’t have to tell her; we can make up an excuse. It’s up to you, baby. I won’t tell her anything if you don’t want me to,” Jack pulled Robby into his arms, rubbing his back gently. His baby just kept crying in his arms, unsure of what he wanted to do. He knew Dana won’t talk; she won’t even push for anything, but leaving her in the dark wasn’t too fair.
“I know it’s scary, baby. I can’t guarantee how she will react, but I will be there with you. We’ve known Dana for a long time, baby; she has never once talked to others about our private lives. I think we can trust her,” Jack spoke, rocking back and forth with Robby. He pressed soft kisses to his hair, gently rubbing his back.
“I’m scared, daddy.” Robby sobbed.
“I know, baby. I know, daddy is so sorry this happened. I’ll protect you, I’ll keep you safe, baby.”
“Daddy, tell her? Please,” Robby couldn’t face telling Dana; he couldn’t do it. He didn’t want to face her; he didn’t want to be seen like this, not by another person. He didn’t want her to know, but he didn’t really have a choice. He just hoped Jack would keep most of the issues he had a secret, hiding most of their intimate times a secret.
“Ok baby,”
Jack settled Robby back in bed, finding his new paci in the sheets. He slipped it back into his baby’s mouth, tucking him back into bed. He set up the iPad and played Sesame Street.
“I’ll be back soon, baby.” Jack kissed his forehead, wiping his last tears away. He shut the door on his way out, walking back to Dana.
Dana sat on the couch with a confused expression that showed evident concern.
“This, um- this is very private, and it’s something that is very personal.” Jack started.
“Well, Jack, he just called you daddy, and he was holding plushies.” Dana sighed; she was clueless as to what was going on.
“Please go into this with an open mind. I really don’t want this to go wrong.” Jack sat beside Dana, watching her reaction to his words.
“Mike has had this coping mechanism for a long time now. I’ve only found out recently about it. He regresses mentally to a toddler; he doesn’t like that it happens, and he isn’t really able to control it.” Jack explained; he really hoped that Dana wouldn’t react poorly to this. He doesn’t want Robby to feel bad about it, not any more than he already does.
“Ok, that’s a little worrisome,” Dana spoke.
“Of course it is; he hid it for years and didn’t let anyone help. He still struggles with it. He feels so much shame and guilt about it.”
“He uses it to cope? I thought he went to therapy?” Dana asked.
“He does. My own therapist suggested it to me when I lost my leg, but I never felt the need for it. He’s been doing it all alone, and it really took a toll on him, and one evening the flood gates were open. He doesn’t have the best control over it, which makes things difficult for him, but he’s never had it happen at work.”
“Does it help him?” She questioned.
“It does for the most part. Whenever he lets himself really go and relax, he is a lot happier when he comes out. He is just scared you’re going to hate him.”
“I couldn’t hate him over this, not something so small.” She spoke honestly, she may not fully understand it, but she’ll learn to.
“He still thinks he is going to wake up one morning and all my things will be gone. It sometimes gets really bad, and all he wants is comfort. He is probably not going to come out of the room until you leave; he hides a lot. It’s really sad,” Jack spoke as tears started to form, wiping them quickly.
“I just love him so much, and I hate that he has all these mental battles. He tries so hard for everything and everyone, but he never cuts himself some slack.”
“Do you think I could go and talk with him?” Dana asked.
“You can try, but please, please be gentle with him. He is cuddled up in bed with his plushies, and I put on Sesame Street for him. I just- please be careful. I’ve gotten him to come so far, and he can’t afford to go back to being so repressed.”
Dana stood up and walked down the hall to their master bedroom. She couldn’t hear anything coming from behind the door. She lifted her fist to knock gently on the door. “Robby, sweetheart, it’s me, Dana. Is it ok if I come in?”
She heard a soft gasp and a sniffle come from behind the closed door. She twisted the handle and gently pushed the door open. She saw Robby lying in bed with two stuffed toys and an iPad illuminating his face. She saw tears pouring down his face; she saw a pacifier amongst the bedding. What she didn’t expect was to see how soft and scared Robby looked. She watched him shoot up and grip the blankets; she heard his soft voice apologizing and pleading for forgiveness.
“I’m so sorry, Dana,” Robby sobbed, watching as Dana walked slowly towards the bed.
Jack wasn’t lying when he said Robby was scared; the sight of how distraught Robby was broke her heart. “Oh, baby,” she whispered, sitting down next to Robby, her hands gently wiping away his tears.
“I’m so sorry, Dana.”
“Sweetheart, there’s nothing to be sorry about. Jack told me all about it, how it helps you. That’s all I want is for you to feel better. I don’t care about the rest,” Dana smiled.
“I promise I’m not mad at you, and I don’t hate you, baby. I could never,” Dana pulled Robby in for a hug, kissing the side of his head. “I love you so much, Robby. All I want is for you to be safe.”
She moved closer to Robby, shifting in the bed, going to lie at his side. She laid him down, hugging his side. “Are we watching Sesame Street? Is that your favourite?” She whispered as she cuddled his side.
“Y-yes,” Robby whispered, his hands holding his plushies; he let himself be cuddled by Dana.
“What do you and your daddy like to do together?”
“We build puzzles and watch movies. Daddy bought me a colouring book too.” Robby’s voice was so much softer; he was so sweet. He was a lot slower to reply, taking time to understand her questions and finding the right words.
“That sounds like so much fun. Is that what you and your daddy are going to do later?”
“M-maybe.” he was growing shy; Dana thought it was cute.
“Dana? Do you promise not to tell anyone?” He pleaded, tears starting to drip down his cheeks once again.
“I won’t tell anyone, baby. I wouldn’t do that to you. Your daddy told me how special this was and how private it is.” She pressed another kiss to his cheek.
She ran her fingers through his hair, asking him soft questions, wanting to know more about this new version of Robby.
“Daddy cuts me up fruit. He gives me lots of fruit,” Robby mumbled around the pacifier.
“Is that your favourite snack?” She asked. She was enjoying this version of Robby, how soft and sweet he was. How his little giggles filled the room when she would tickle him or say something silly.
“Y-yes. Daddy sometimes gives me little treats. I had animal cookies last time.”
“Did you have the animal cookies that were pink and purple with sprinkles?”
“Mhmm yeah, how did you know?”
“I just had a feeling. Someone as sweet as you must love sweets,” she attacked his face with kisses, his giggles filling the room.
They both didn’t notice Jack standing at the door, watching them both lie together. Relief filled his body when he saw how kind Dana was being and how gentle and tender she was with his baby.
He was so glad another person was able to help Robby and to show him that he wasn’t bad or a disappointment. That this side of him was special and needed to be protected. He always knew Dana would likely not care about this headspace, but it still worried him; anything to do with the possibility of Robby’s feelings being hurt worried him.
He knew Robby was trying really hard, trying really hard to accept his help and to enjoy his regression. All he could have asked for was for Dana to be accepting, but she went above that and helped Robby.
She showed him motherly love, something he has never truly had; he got to have the feeling of being safe. She gave him kisses, she held him close, she wiped his tears. She showed him love.
Jack is forever grateful for that.
Hi, thanks for reading! Dw robby will get to have fun with the calico critters next chapter!
Feel free to let me know if you'd like to be tagged in future parts!
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