I used to have Resources for pregnant women who need help pinned but the link needs some updated links which I will provide soon. In the meantime, you can use this pinned post if you need.
This is the most considerate advice for doing stretches I've ever seen??? Initially I started to go, "...but I can't do that with my knee-" then he showed a way I could do it. I was like... whoa. A video for stretching that is actually considerate towards my disabilities. Astounding and impressive.
I understand that most of your calls can be resolved by telling the dumbass on the other end to plug it in properly, or maybe turn something off and back on again. But I, an advanced dumbass, have already tried that and I'm afraid it's worse than either of us thought going into this.
Once had an IT guy tell me the only possible explanation was a localised black hole under my desk disrupting the space time continuum, and I've always been obscurely proud of having an error that severe, even though it definitely wasn't me creating localised gravitational anomalies
I once had a computer problem so weird that it was escalated through like 4 different tiers of Apple Care until I was on the phone with this incredibly earnest guy who told me [in the thickest Eastern European accent imaginable]: "Oh my God... This is so strange... Haha!! Oh my God!!! Charlie, I will tell you, I have never encountered anything like this in my seven years of working here! All my days are spent usually helping people with stupid nonsense, but Charlie, you have brought me a PUZZLE! You have brought me a GIFT! I am FASCINATED! Now, I am going to get my manager, but Charlie, I PROMISE you. I PROMISE YOU, I will be back soon. PLEASE, Charlie, stay with me, and I PROMISE I will return to you and my manager and I will take care of you. OK?" and yes thank you i did tear up
[Found this in my drafts from February 26, 2024. Will post this now and will give an update to this update in a future post. Have fun with the cliffhanger.]
(I'll fix that number once I figure out what number I was on lol)
I have been off for almost a week now (PRAISE THE LORD) and had a few doctor appointments and basic self-care things.
Found out I had been unknowingly taking anxiety meds for most of my life.
Began filling up my cup by hanging out with people ??!!¡¡ (more on this below)
Have been feeling inspired lately to pray more.
ITEM #1:
(This might be TMI but I think it's funny so here ya go)
As a toddler, I could not be put to bed. My mom would try (dad had graveyard shift) and, after spending about a few hours trying to get me to sleep, she'd call my uncle to try to get me to sleep. Did it work? Nope. I just got more excited that "dad" was finally home. I was never told that they were ever successful at putting me to sleep so I assume I eventually got so exhausted from playing with my uncle that I went to bed naturally. Not being able to fall asleep carried into my early school years.
Around first grade, I went to an allergy doctor who prescribed me Atarax (Hydroxyzine HCl) for my "seasonal" allergies (year-round in CA). I was to take them nightly because it caused drowsiness. The symptoms subsided and I was able to fall sleep. I remember being able to sleep at night, but not being able to take naps throughout the day. I figured I was probably too excited to do things in the daytime to fall asleep. Or I was just being a kid.
I continued to take Atarax nightly until I got lazy in college. Moving to college came with a whole new slew of "seasonal" allergies (go figure) so I went to my allergy doctor, only to find out I was rescheduled with another allergy doctor because he had just retired. The new allergy doctor took me off Atarax because he didn't believe I actually had allergies (??? of course I wouldn't have any ongoing allergic reactions because I had been taking this medication for years). In a way, I was glad because I finally had one less thing to do on my list. I was finally relieved of my responsibility to take Atarax.
I have another blog someone got me into doing (like how someone got me into making this blog lol). It only has two posts, but I plan on keeping it going. It’ll basically be a peek into my life as a church musician and different things I have learned. Feel free to check it out, too.
There may be some cross-posting in the future because I don’t intend to put my name on that blog (because I’ll end up discussing work-related things and I don’t want any identifiers on it).
Anyway, here's the latest post / update on my life.
Half Rest
It has been about 5 months since I quit my last job. The biggest confession I have is this: I hated working as a music director. (Note that I put "hate" in past tense. I love it now, and am in a much healthier work environment and place in my life. All glory to God.)
To be fair, I was overworked, underpaid, and overwhelmed. A break was much needed. My time off was conditional ("If you can find a cover, you can take time off."), my pay was that of a beginning McDonald's cashier (because "we can't afford to give you a raise"), and my boundaries were constantly being crossed (think verbal and emotional abuse). Not fun.
On paper, the above reasons are grounds for quitting. If not, they are major red flags for employees. I knew this, but I was not sure if this job was supposed to be a cross I had to carry for a temporary period (that would soon resolve) – à la St. Therese enduring emotional and verbal abuse set forth by her fellow sisters and superiors – or if this was really God nudging me to leave this job.
After much prayer (and a shocking mental health wake up call), I made the move to quit. My resignation letter was an acrostic one because that was what I needed to move on and out.
I think there are a lot of church ministers today that suffer from burnout and decide to deal with poor work environments because "it is all in service of the Lord." While that is true, we are also called to pour out from our excess, not from an empty cup. If you don't believe me, here are some references from Scripture:
• Jesus said to him, “If you wish to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to [the] poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” (Matthew 19:21)
– Here, Jesus specifies to "sell what you have," not from what you do not have. This means all that we have been given. Can one give from empty hands?
• Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been purchased at a price. Therefore, glorify God in your body. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
– When you are working to the point of burnout, what good is the work that you do? Will you be able to continue the work of God if you are burnt out? Therefore, take care of your body because it is meant not to be burnt out, but to glorify the Lord through your work.
And then, of course, you have the classic "God rested on the 7th day" verse. If God created all things to be good, why can't be rest be good?
OHOHOHO wow the Korean alphabet is awesome. The people who designed it were geniuses and were obviously incredibly schooled in the morphology and phonology of their language. HNNGGG
IT WASN’T JUST ANY OLD DUDE WHO DECIDED, “HEY I WANT TO CREATE A KOREAN ALPHABET.”
IT WAS KING SEJONG, WHO ORDERED HIS ROYAL SCHOLARS TO CREATE THIS ALPHABET SO READING AND WRITING COULD BE ACCESSIBLE TO EVERYONE, EVEN THE PEASANTS. IT WAS PURPOSELY DESIGNED TO BE EASY TO LEARN.
SO SHOUT OUT TO KING SEJONG, WHO REALIZED BEFORE MANY OTHERS THE IMPORTANCE OF UNIVERSAL LITERACY.
"Gus, don't be the only black lead on a major cable network" is a line engrained in my brain 😭 i love Shawn's "Gus, don't be" running joke but the ones like this where he breaks the 4th wall are especially hilarious
I was blessed with the opportunity to play the 5th largest organ in the world last night. I was so excited but ended up going home sad, frustrated, and angry.
Okay, maybe not all of those, but definitely some intense negative feelings. (I'm still learning how to articulate my feelings) The best word is "anger." I'm also learning how to process anger, so I'm going to do my best here now.
(I'm gonna vent. Leave if you wish.)
I spent 5 days driving 35 miles each way just to practice the organ for a few hours so I would have a decent piece or two to play on the organ for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I was told I would likely have one hour (of the three) on it, but instead, I barely got 10 minutes on it. Each piece I played was nitpicked by the person who invited me. I got interrupted and booted off the seat multiple times.
Now, you've never heard me play the pipe organ before and you're probably wondering "Maybe she got booted off because she sucked?" I definitely am not the most skilled organist, but I am skilled enough to be an on-call organist for two religious orders and multiple churches (on top of already being a music director). So I doubt I was booted off because I sucked.
Each time I started a song, he would go "Oh wait let me show you, let me show you something. Let me play it to show you. I'll sit on the bench." And then he would proceed to play for the next 10 minutes. At one point, he even asked me to video-record him from afar. (I obliged, but only because I was trying to be patient with a fellow human being.)
When I finally had my turn on the organ (after he expressed at least 6 times "My fingers are tired so you should play now" while proceeding to play another piece), I kept getting interrupted. I understand vocal acclamations and praise when someone performs an awe-inspiring piece, but his interjections (though positive and encouraging) felt like he was rushing me. Would you clap and cheer in the middle of a song at Mass or at a concert? Or would you actually listen and try to enjoy the song? The former is just plain rude, imho. As a musician, music is one of the lifelines of the soul. Interruptions are simply killing the spirit.
I was frustrated I did not get any "good" recordings of me playing the 5th largest organ in the world so you'll just have to take my word for it. The videos that were taken of me were not stationary and instead were shaky and all over the place (I wonder if someone's ADHD kicked in), and some recordings even cut off the songs I played.
Do I need videos? No, I suppose not. Why did I want the videos? If I'm being honest, probably to show off. Do I need to show off? No, because I would want people to like me for who I am without me having to prove my likability.
I guess I can do away with the videos.
Though I am frustrated, angry, etc., my desire to play that organ properly is still strong. And I just have to trust that God will fulfill that desire in my heart (however that desire is meant to be fulfilled).
2. Work on being the list (because how can you expect someone to be the list if you cannot even come close to being the list?)
And a year ago I would have said numbers one and two are enough. But I recently learned it’s not enough:
3. Review your ideal list every quarter. Evaluate your friends (preferably of the opposite sex) - mainly the traits they have - and see if any of those are worth adding to your list.
And, lastly,
4. Recognize that you can like traits your friends have without liking them romantically.
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