MildatayBlog

"Oh, my clematis.." Fandom guy yeah yeah calm down autographs at 5 o'clock MSK

[thefiresontheheight]

A woman not shaving or wearing a dress or wearing makeup or wearing femme clothes or having styled or long hair or caring how she looks or using a masc name or whatever else is actually a neutral thing and not a sign of her being depressed or giving up or being sad or whatever

[mildatay]

I'm slowly going insane in this house. I genuinely feel like I am going insane.

Am i forever meant to live in a cycle of agony and pain?

I have thoughts of hurting myself and others now. I was doing so good until now. I feel suicidal and homicidal.

I wonder if I shot my head off right now who would be the one to find me. Maybe a month later. It's an option available to me right now, no one's home besides me.

I want to hurt others. I know its wrong but I can't help it after all that has happened to me. I have seen people I love die, so why not do the same to those who killed them? Why not make those who have put me through excruciating pain both mentally and physically feel the pain I have to feel everytime I bottle things up, and it results in me attempting? I KNOW I shouldn't. I don't know if I will, I dont think I will attempt to hurt others. I am not a violent person. I am no longer a violent person. I have not been a violent person. But I can't get it out of my mind.

I wonder if any of my online friends would notice if I went offline forever.

[mildatay]

oh my DAYS I want to talk to someone anyone so badly right now about anything but I know if i do im gonna start genuinely tweaking or imagining death either upon myself or them the entire time I can't do this anymore please just let me be NORMAL.

im so lonely but its for the best that I just stay closed off.

[mildatay]

I'm slowly going insane in this house. I genuinely feel like I am going insane.

Am i forever meant to live in a cycle of agony and pain?

I have thoughts of hurting myself and others now. I was doing so good until now. I feel suicidal and homicidal.

I wonder if I shot my head off right now who would be the one to find me. Maybe a month later. It's an option available to me right now, no one's home besides me.

I want to hurt others. I know its wrong but I can't help it after all that has happened to me. I have seen people I love die, so why not do the same to those who killed them? Why not make those who have put me through excruciating pain both mentally and physically feel the pain I have to feel everytime I bottle things up, and it results in me attempting? I KNOW I shouldn't. I don't know if I will, I dont think I will attempt to hurt others. I am not a violent person. I am no longer a violent person. I have not been a violent person. But I can't get it out of my mind.

I wonder if any of my online friends would notice if I went offline forever.

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

It's always "stop harming yourself or we'll have to lock you up!!!" and never "what do you need to change to want to harm yourself less and how can we help you make some of these changes?" and that's why we're not getting anywhere

[howdoimakethisrelatedtoogutama]

aspen is your fridge running

mmmmaybe

[mildatay]

well you better go catch it HHHAAHAHAHAHAAAAA

[mildatay]

Just in case my moots or followers do not know where I stand.

TW for a lot of crazy things just beware.

Fuck Trump.

Fuck ICE.

Fuck homophobia.

Fuck racism, on ANY person.

Abortion is not murder.

Parents are not always right.

Fuck sexism.

Fuck rape.

Fuck beauty standards.

Everyone is equal.

My body, MY choice.

Men crying is not weak.

Women crying is not weak.

Uniqueness is beautiful.

Epstein jokes are not funny.

Every religion is okay.

Religious trauma is real.

Fuck MAGA.

Love is love.

Not loving someone is okay. You can live a life without a romantic relationship.

Young or old, everyone's opinions and thoughts should be listened to.

There is not a pass to say slurs that do not apply to you. Slurs in general are a bad thing to say.

Changing/censoring swears (Fuck = f#ck/frick) is okay. I do it myself sometimes.

Everyone can have trauma, no matter the person.

No innocent people should be kicked out of a nation that lives on stolen land.

Suicide should be getting prevented, not just spreading awareness about it.

Depression is real.

Mental health is real.

Needing TWs or CWs does not make you weak.

Both sides should always be listened to.

Fuck ICE, fuck racism. Did I already say that? Well I'll say it again.

FUCK ICE.

The only ICE that anyone should know is the one that melts and is water. Not the ones that take away our family and loved ones.

FUCK RACISM, NO MATTER THE RACE OR PERSON.

Separating the art from the artist does not always work.

You can still be a fan of something if you haven't played/read/watched the media, as long as you know maybe a few characters.

Boundaries are not glass bottles for you to break.

No matter the disorder, disease, etc, you can still treat them as one of your peers.

Schizophrenia does not mean they should get sent to the crazy place 24/7.

Autism does not mean you can baby-talk them and speak for them, if they are able to do so for themselves.

Okay thats it thanks for coming to my talk!!! These are practically non-negotiable btw. Either block or talk to me about it <3

[eptck]

you have to be kinder to people with memory issues.

you have to be kinder to people who are slow processors.

you have to be kinder to people who don't understand your jokes.

you have to be kinder to people who forget important dates.

you have to be kinder to people with cognitive decline.

you have to be kinder to people who were always this way, too.

you have to be kind. you have to be kind.

[wootwona]

since the old version of this post was flagged for 'adult content'...

reblog this post if your account is a trans safe space or owned by a trans person!

along with that, reblog if your account is a trans non-binary spectrum safe space or owned by someone on the trans enby spectrum!

[boyblogdog]

happy pride month to those in the closet. to those who went back into the closet. to those who have unsupportive families, friends and relationships. those who were bullied and harassed because of their identity. those who were killed because of who they truly were and loved.

you are loved and appreciated.

[musiicpix3l]

Yes yes i know love is love. But they are still killing CHILDREN. over this.

[the-irreverend]

And stay safe everyone!

[mildatay]

i guess bro

[celiometer]

Snapshot

[mildatay]

things are starting to get better. ^_^

i cleaned off the table of doom and despair today (basically just a table that has been collecting things since like.. september.. and i occasionally have to dig into it to find something)

i found my glasses that I've been missing since maybe last month so that was nice

i don't have to use my old ones anymore !!! :]

I've been going OUTSIDE more yeah mildatay touches grass wow.. I've been hanging out with my friends a lot more..

average cups of water i drink per day? 0. or like half of a water. cups of water i drank TODAY? 2!!!!!! which even though its still a low number methinks I CONSIDER IT IMPROVEMENT okay..

people I've talked to today? 2!!!!!!!! AND I STARTED THE CONVERSATION WITH 1!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeaaaahhh. guhhhh ilysm Sage /semiplat

times I've cried today? 1!!! average per day is maybe 4!! :DD

times I've inflicted harm upon myself today? 1! average is like. 3?? my arm hurts

kinda have been bedrotting the whole day besides the maybe 30 minutes i went outside but thats okay!!

I also drew some stuff today... 2 things.. yyyyyayyyy....... .

my life still sucks

my father is still a horrible person

im still in a bad place

but i can do my best to make it better.

[chxrl1eflxm3]

i love you bro... estoy william ☺️☺️🤗🤗🤗☺️🤗☺️🤗☺️ remember cuz. i

[mildatay]

what does estoy mean again im not the brightest in spanish

[chxrl1eflxm3]

i forget

its something like i feel i think

[mildatay]

ENOUGH WITH THIS TOMFOOLERY

YOU ARE NOT ME

[chxrl1eflxm3]

ohhh

im william guys

[mildatay]

estoy charlie

[theejesterghost]

oh joy

[chxrl1eflxm3]

i love you bro... estoy william ☺️☺️🤗🤗🤗☺️🤗☺️🤗☺️ remember cuz. i

[mildatay]

what does estoy mean again im not the brightest in spanish

[chxrl1eflxm3]

i forget

its something like i feel i think

[mildatay]

ENOUGH WITH THIS TOMFOOLERY

YOU ARE NOT ME