The Soil Under Your Feet Is Alive — and Modern Farming Is Slowly Killing It
Walk onto most commercial farmland today and the soil looks fine. It smells fine. Crops come up, yields happen, seasons pass. But underground, something quiet is collapsing. Over decades of heavy fertilizer use, pesticide application, and intensive tillage, the biological community that makes soil work — billions of bacteria, fungi, protozoa — gets disrupted, suppressed, and eventually depleted. The result? Soil that's chemically full but biologically empty. Farmers notice it as a slow fade: the same fertilizer dose that used to produce strong results now barely registers. More inputs, same or lower output. The soil has stopped responding.
hey Gen Z, can y'all do me a quick solid and explain how you're all just, like, IMPOSSIBLY pretty? Cuz the gender envy on the Xennial side of the fence is SO REAL...
Ok, so. Back in October, when my Good Omens hyperfixation was at its peak, I found my way over to AO3, in need of some good fluffy smut. Interestingly enough, it wasn't on a recommendation from fellow Ineffables, nor from an AO3 search, that I found what has become my favorite A&C human AU fanfic. It was from a Pinterest post I saw a while back, and suddenly remembered, that brought me to @klikandtuna's writings. The tumblr-post-turned-Pin suggested Zira as a boarding school headmaster and Crowley as a rock-star-turned-music-teacher at the boarding school. In the comments, people were saying how someone should write a fic based on it, and lo & behold, klik did!
I found 'Find The Light' and devoured it in a single day. I didn't even wait to read 'Every Damn Day,' which was followed quickly by 'Sky Clear Blue.' Reaching the end was sad, but klik had a surprise for us: a Xmas gift in the form of a three-fold crossover!!! 'Find Every Sky' is being released one chapter per day for the next week, with two chapters already out, and I am LOVING it. Give it a look, but DO read the other three first if you haven't yet. They're great stories on their own, but this crossover is like watching 'The Avengers' after seeing 'Iron Man,' 'Hulk,' 'Thor,' and 'The First Avenger'- it all comes together so beautifully, and is already greater than the sum of its parts!
Shoutout to @suzypfonne, the badass beta who helped klik bring these stories to life!!!
On the Subject of Grief: How Star Trek Can Help Us Get Through This
Alright folks, I'm temporarily switching from my beloved Good Omens to my OG fandom: the one, the only, the grandaddy of beloved franchises, Star Trek.
In light of the devastating news, I've needed comfort. Sadly, with GO ending as it did with the Final 15, and with the conclusion still at least a year away, my angel/demon love story just makes me cry even harder. But I've always been able to find solace in Star Trek.
Star Trek has always been, at least to me, a glimpse of what we are capable of being: compassionate, not just accepting of the differences in others but delighting in them and celebrating them, united in the goal of bringing hope & peace to all corners of existence. Infinite variety in infinite combinations. What a beautiful thing.
I acknowledge that this is pretty utopian, but we must also remember that even in the idealistic world of Star Trek, there remains conflict, pain, & loss. Seeing beloved characters throughout the various shows & films dealing with these difficult scenarios is what continues to inspire me when things seem lost. We deal with grief in our own, widely varied ways, but we have each other to lean on, and we have the one thing they cannot take from us: hope.
Strange, then, you might say, that I've chosen to write about the heartbreakers rather than the uplifting moments (of which there are plenty). And you'd be right. But if I'm being honest here, I'm not looking to chase the gloom away. I need to sit in it, feel through it, and maybe, eventually, I'll be ready to smile again. But today is not that day.
So, in typical pessimistic-but-desperately-trying-to-find-something-good-in-this fashion, I've complied a list of the most heartbreaking episodes of Star Trek, from each of the 8 main franchises + 1. I've stuck to the live-action shows, mainly because I haven't seen enough of the animated ones (Animated Series, Lower Decks, & Prodigy) to include them. But I have included Short Treks, mostly because they're canon but also because I've seen them. I've listed the episodes in chronological order, not in what's most to least painful or vice versa. Feel free to add your own, and let me know which episodes or moments have brought you a bit of light in your darkest times.
Oh, and I think this goes without saying, but ***spoilers ahead***
#1) "Demons," Enterprise: When Trip & T'Pol's baby daughter Elizabeth died... no words, only sorrow.
#2) "Project Daedalus," Discovery: I don't remember ever before becoming so attached to a side-character in the space of a single episode; not to the level that I became attached to Commander Ariam, at least. The depiction of her life before her augmentation, the tragedy that necessitated in it, and the way her salvation was corrupted by Control was both touching and maddening. Her sacrifice at the end, and the tender, final moment of her life, was devastating. My grief carried over into the next episode, with the opening scene of her memorial and Saru's tender lullaby sending me crashing into waves of mourning a loss I never saw coming.
#3) "Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow," SNW: Watching the development of the relationship between La'an and Kirk, knowing full well that it couldn't last, was painful enough. Wacthing her mourn his loss and being completely unable to share her grief with anyone because Temporal Prime Directive, was a punch straight to the gut. She mourned alone. So did I.
#4) "The City on the Edge of Forever," TOS: We never want to believe that good people have to suffer for the greater good to come about; BELIEVE ME, after last night, I certainly am not supportive of that stance. Which is why this episode is so tragic: Kirk, knowing that Edith had to die in order for his future to exist, the future in which the Federation was real, was tragic enough. Knowing that he had to stop his friend, McCoy, from saving her, and in the process forcing him to violate the most sacred oath of his life, just rammed it home even harder.
#5) "The Offspring," TNG: beautiful, sweet, wonderful Data. He's always been my favorite. He may not be capable of emotion (at least, not at that point in time), but I know I felt the loss of Lal more than enough to make up for it. I still cry, knowing what's coming, every time I watch it.
#6) "The Visitor," DS9: Losing a parent is always hard. Imagine having to deal with the loss of that parent, over & over again, at random moments throughout your life, never knowing when it'll be the last time. Imagine being a parent, missing out on your child's entire life, only getting glimpses of it at random moments, and only to watch them die at an old age when virtually no time has passed for you. I'm glad that I've yet to experience either of this kind of loss, but the inevitability of it doesn't lessen the pain one bit. I sobbed for days over this one.
#7) "Tuvix," Voyager: The titular character's empassioned plea for his life was a knife in my heart. Whichever side you stand on with this still-debated episode within the Trek community, if you didn't cry, you have no soul.
#8) "Surrender," Picard: when Data started giving his things to Lore (the Holmes pipe, his image of Tasha), I was already crying with nostalgia. These were all the things that made Data who he is, all the things that represented what made him my favorite character. But when he gave up Spot... I was, at the time, facing eviction, having to make the difficult choice to move out and into a friend's home, which meant having to give up my beloved cat. In that moment, watching Data give sweet Spot to such a monster... I couldn't do it. I paused the show, literally crawled over to my sweet boy sleeping in his spot on my bed, and promised I would get it together and make sure he & I stayed together. I made it another year + 3 months, but ultimately had to move and give my cat up, but to my best friend instead of a shelter. I get regular updates and pics; my Bubbas boy is happy & healthy and dearly loved. I'm crying now remembering how much that moment changed things for me, and while I miss my boy, I know he's safe. It's extremely bittersweet.
#9) "Calypso," Short Treks: The sadness of this minisode is compunded by the knowledge that Zora was be out there all alone for a millenia, and that she was encountered totally by accident by someone who- at first- seems completely immune to her tenderness. But then, as he opens up to her, and they share a beautiful, touching dance, you begin to hope. And then he leaves. Nothing lasts forever, indeed.
Watching beloved characters go through painful times can be harrowing, but it can also be cathartic & healing in its own way. Today, I'm mourning, but I am not broken. One day, this wound will heal, and maybe our country will, too.
I just finished @klikandtuna's incredible third installment of a Good Omens human AU, Sky Clear Blue on AO3. For real, it's amazing, and check out Find The Light and Every Damn Day while you're at it. There's a triple-fic crossover coming Dec 9, so keep your eyes peeled!
Meanwhile, I've been trying to picture younger, human versions of Zira and Crowley as written in Sky Clear Blue. While I have a decent enough imagination, it wasn't *quite* coming together. So, I decided to bust out my paltry "art" skills and just "draw" them myself. They're down at the end, below the cut.
I found a shot of Michael Sheen from 'Wilde,' which (if I did the math right) would make him 27 in the pic. Same with David Tennant; found one from 2001-2002, when he'd have been 31. I took a bit of liberty with Crowley's eyes; the color choices available to me didn't match the champagne description in the fic, so I went with the color I'm dreaming up in my own fic (stay tuned).
Now before you ask, yes, I did basically just color over actual pictures (of which I do not own copyright and claim no such ownership). But be gentle with me; all I've got is the 'draw' function in MS Word and a vague notion of how to make peoples' faces look like faces. The art gene skipped right over me from my dad and went straight into my daughter. Really I just did this to get a better idea of what a 27-year-old human Zira and a 31-year-old human Crowley would look like as described in the fic. So here they are. I had fun making them. Hope it at least makes you smile 😁
Have you enjoyed my Good Omens human AU fics — Every Damn Day, Find the Light, and Sky Clear Blue? If so, have I got a treat for you!
It's a CHRISTMAS CROSSOVER SPECIAL, featuring all three sets of characters meeting up! Shenanigans ensue! This is going to be a funny, fun romp as a Christmas gift for my readers, for posting in December — exact dates to be announced when the full story is written.
If you haven't read all three of these stories, well, now is the time! Get all caught up so you can enjoy this fluffy, fuzzy holiday treat. 💛
Y'all... it breaks my fuckin HEART hearing all these stories about trans/enby/genderfluid/queer kids with trans/queerphobic parents. Stories of how they have to stash their binders at friends' houses. Stories of how they run to school once they're out of sight of the house so they can change clothes in the bathroom before class. Stories of how terrified they are of being seen walking into the "wrong" bathroom. And worst of all, the stories of those who have been abused or thrown out by the very people who are supposed to love & protect them.
I want to adopt them all. I want to bring them into a home where they are welcomed, cherished, & cared for. I want to take them shopping for whatever clothes they want to wear. I want to take them to get their first gender-affirming haircut. And I want to be there to hold their hand when they wake up from gender-affirming surgery.
Having come out as genderfluid myself very recently, I've been extremely blessed to have so many loving, supportive, & accepting people in my life. No one batted an eyelash, no one barraged me with questions (except to ask if I had new pronouns or a new name! 💖), and no one turned on me or walked out of my life. Too many LGBTQIA+ people aren't so lucky.
So if you're living your trans/enby/fluid/queer dreams here on tumblr but you don't feel safe enough to be the incredible person you truly are in the rest of the world, know this: you are safe with me. You are safe with a LOT of people here. Know that if we met irl, I would hold your hand (with permission, of course) and give you both ears. And a shoulder, if you need one. There are people who know what you're going through, and they are HERE for you.
And if you know anyone who's too afraid to go home, send 'em my way. I'll have a warm drink and a place at the table waiting for them.
I mean, I'm super glad that we're at least getting closure of SOME kind, but admittedly disappointed that it's not the full season we were hoping for. Is it a fair compromise? Perhaps, especially since NG has been removed from production, which is not enough for justice but it's... something? I don't know. It's hard to say.
I believe that my sudden, unexpected hyperfixation on GO is mostly an escape from all the awful things going on in the world right now. My American ass is watching possibly the greatest, most important election of our country's history happen from the sidelines because I'm in registered-voter limbo. I hear all the stories of what's happening worldwide, esp in terms of climate change and the effects it's having on the Global South, and I just feel helpless. I have my own issues with school & finances and loneliness, and I just... I believe I sought solace in something I knew I could depend on, even if it was left with an extremely painful ending. Now, the news of a feature-length conclusion to something that has been so healing to me... it hurts. But it's hope.
And that's what's important. In addition to the justice & attention that needs to be brought to victims of SA, hope is what we need. And Good Omens has always brought us hope. Hope for true love, hope for miracles, hope for a world that goes on, flawed as it may be, because it's still beautiful. It's still full of possibilities, and people who care, and causes that are making a real difference & improving lives.
So when I hurt like this, I ask: what would Aziraphale do? He would tell us to trust. To hope. To fight for the right thing. If I have to give up a full season of my favorite show so that the appropriate measures are taken for the victims while still getting the end of our Ineffable Love Story, then I'm more than willing to do so.
he can't make it official, but he's here. how else would he be able to lurk, reblog, comment, and write his own fanfics and be so enormously supportive of us Ineffables?
